


A Rather Monstrous World

by TsukimotoMana



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dubious Consent, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-02-22 17:24:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 20
Words: 89,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2515802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TsukimotoMana/pseuds/TsukimotoMana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an alternate universe, a nation resembling feudal Japan, cut off from the rest of the world, gets attacked by modern type troops. Izaya is a citizen who gets captured in their overwhelming first attack, while Shizuo is a front-line soldier. Yaoi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue - Chapter 1

A Rather Monstrous World

Prologue

It is generally believed that when mist covers everything, the world will suddenly turn more mysterious and perhaps a bit scarier. It’s one of the rare times that the Underworld emerges and mingles with the Surface, allowing the dead to pay a long awaited visit to the living. However, the most fearsome beings to be wary of at such a time, are not the ghosts of the dead. And that is because there is nothing a dead man can do more than a living one. The beings that truly must be worthy of a human’s fear are the beings who are able to do more than he would ever be. Thus, meaning, the Gods or the Monsters. 

At the time the change happened, maybe a God was watching. And if he did, he would truly be a merciless God. Neither the one who punishes the evil, nor the one who protects the innocent, he would be the most merciless kind of all; a mere observer, watching calamities unfold with zero interest, passing him by through the course of history just like many others had before. 

Because God didn’t do anything as the quiet waters of the sea roiled up, embracing something enormous, foreign, akin to nothing the waters of that shore had ever embraced before. He didn’t do anything as a man inside the mist sighed and let his warm breath mix with the humidity around him, he didn’t do anything when the slow breeze messed a mass of blond hair through his path. 

Maybe, maybe if he would have done something, maybe if he hadn’t let that something be driven ashore where nothing else of its kind ever had before, maybe it would have all been for the best. 

Chapter One

Orihara Izaya was a man of dubious reputation around a quite wide area of his beloved homeland, maybe a wider one than he had originally intended to, but he always had and always would welcome a bit of a challenge. For many people he was a well mannered, kind and ambitious young man who had all the potential to hit it big and deserve it in the future. For others, and this time meaning the unfortunate people who knew him more than a month, he was a prick. For those who had truly picked the wrong end of the stick in life, for various reasons, he was devil incarnate. It was a fact for everyone though that he was working as an informant for one of the most prestigious Yakuza families in Sekai, the Awakusu-Kai, and he was plenty shady as it was. 

Izaya himself never bothered with what other people thought of him, unless of course he could use that knowledge to his advantage depending on the case he’d have to face. Regardless of that matter, he loved other people. Izaya loved humans. Not humans as individuals, he had actually never felt true liking or attraction towards anybody up to this point of his life, but he was fascinated with the essence of human nature. He especially loved seeing other people’s faces stricken with grief, desperation, agony and emptiness. Causing those expressions was the best drug and most fun Izaya could ever have and someone could say that his profession was modeled after his preferences. 

Sometimes it bothered Izaya to think that the human world might be too small. After all, it only consisted out of an enormous piece of earth, surrounded by a seemingly quiet sea, but as soon as a boat would try to step a bit farther away from the usual fishing zones, ridiculously strong winds and wild waves would crush them like tree leaves. There was a story once according to which the wind was so strong that it took a boat along with its fishermen and crashed it right back at some rocks on a beach of the mainland. Basically, the human world, Sekai, as its people were calling it, was only a rather big island. Izaya was wondering from time to time of what might exist beyond the winds but he quickly dismissed the thought, thinking that there were more humans to observe in Sekai than he would ever be able to in his lifetime. Nevertheless, he possessed quite a grand amount of curiosity so the issue was coming back and forth to his head quite often. 

Sekai was a quite nice place to live, in addition to all of the above. The people had a rather developed civilization and a moral code that allowed them to live in prosperity. Their meals consisted mainly of rice and fish, men and women were walking around in their traditional outfits, a very elaborate type of robes called yukatas and kimonos respectively, in the center of each village or city, buying jewelry or eating traditional foods and sweets. When night would come, they would use fire lamps to fend off the darkness. They were using horses and carriages for their travels and they had developed a rather artistic style of warfare using blades, specifically swords called katanas and daggers called kunais. Izaya personally preferred to use kunais, they were easy to hide and they suited his personality better. One needed to be able to protect himself when he was working for the Yakuza and furthermore, when his life goal was to make other people’s lives miserable. 

That day he had traveled to a quite distant village from the city he was living into, due to business. He had a not so interesting human he was supposed to meet, but he still had an entertaining use for him. As he was leaving, his wife, Namie, didn’t fail to remind him that it would be better for everyone in this world but especially for her if he never came back. Their marriage was strictly for keeping up social appearances, since both of them were over 25 years old, and honestly, it suited both of them. It was their common secret that Namie had a thing for her little brother, her unforgivable and incestuous feelings being where Izaya could gladly step on and use to make her do his bidding. Surprisingly, though, their characters turned out to be rather compatible. Despite the rough start, they ended up getting quite along. Izaya had a wife as it was normally expected of him even though he didn’t want what that would entail and the same thing but for other reasons applied to Namie as well. And of course, sexual intercourse was out of the question from both sides. And even though both knew that from the start, Namie felt the need to remind him every day that if he ever dared to make a move of that kind, she would castrate him with her bare hands. Honestly, it hurt Izaya a little bit to hear that. Almost as much as when she used to threaten him that she would poison his tea, as she would choose the role of the widow over the one of the wife any day anytime. 

Izaya thought that he probably didn’t hate her as much as she hated him, but he still hated her nonetheless – even so, he often relied on her and confided in her as well so he thought that maybe he could buy her an elegant hairpin when he would be done with his job, if only to just irritate her; this village was near the sea and it was famous for using sea shells for beautiful hairpins. He knew because his twin little sisters, Kururi and Mairu, had told him so while begging him to buy them several. He never especially liked them. 

He waited for his peculiar date for no more than five minutes at the village’s main street when the other man showed up. He was an ordinary man with an ordinary troubled and full of disdain face. Nothing bored Izaya more than the completely ordinary. “Hello, Kimura-san!” He chirped though, in a tone that only a very trained near him person could have detected as fake. “Sorry for taking all the trouble in coming here, I’m sure that must have been tough!”

“Shut the fuck up, Orihara.” The other guy fastened his pace while his face clouded up even more. “You know very well what kind of-“

“Oh yeah, yeah, I know, I can assure you.” Izaya interrupted him and his kind smile gave its place to a malicious smirk. “The way you’re coming to me so desperate in order to protect your family, nobody would guess you would be the kind of man to have two kids with another woman, ah, but what’s life I guess!” Izaya took a dramatic pose while he stuck out his hand and the other man slapped a closed envelope over it, in a moment of unparalleled fury. 

“You scum, you do realize into what danger I’m putting myself by giving this to you? I swear, if you dare to screw up…!”

“Uh-uh-uh, Kimura-san, you should be more careful about exactly whom you are calling scum. Though I might not exactly be the perfect being on this Earth either, hearing it from you really loses all kind of spice.” Izaya’s eyes shone dangerously and perhaps a bit playfully as he slid the envelope inside his dark red, almost brown yukata over his chest. 

The other man’s eyes scanned carefully the cursed being in front of him. With Izaya being an unexceptionably good looking person, it made him even more hateful to the other’s eyes. He was of an average height, rather slim but well built additionally – rumors were saying that he was escaping assassins and other dangerous elements by jumping over from roof to roof or from one tree to another. His skin was unmarred, his eyes were narrow but charming, as the dark brown color inside was always like it was spitting lights, and his hair was short and silky black. His nose was straight and his chin was small, so, even if he was not feminine, neither in his face nor in his manners, he could easily choose to disguise as one. Through his rage, the other man made a not so far from his thoughts association:

“You should be fucked raw right on the ground.” He almost whispered it, boiling with hatred. In his eyes, that was what the other guy in front of him deserved; fucked until he pleaded and begged for forgiveness for all of the crimes he had ever committed before, just like now that he was trying to destroy his family. 

“Heeh… You say some interesting things.” Izaya narrowed his eyes. It wasn’t the first time something like that was being said to him, and anyway, he felt like killing some time playing for a bit. “Then, should I say that you deserve your head to blow up right here right now and paint everything a pretty red? You know, just go BOOM-“

Maybe there was a deafening sound, maybe there was no sound at all. The other man’s body violently shook as it got trashed on the side, while blood gashed out of the right side of his head. Izaya remained as he was before, staring blankly at the empty space of air where his interlocutor was previously standing. Time had frozen solid and Izaya didn’t realize at that point that by the moment it started running again, eons could have passed by. Later he would deduce that this was the sensation when an era leaves you and a completely new one takes its place. 

The screech of a woman brought him back from the shock. He forced his head to look down and saw the boring man’s body lying down, bathing in blood, and ending to something that previously must have been his head, but now it was just a lump of brains, bones and meat. “Wha…” He barely managed to utter. Surely he thought of himself above all of his other beloved humans, but even he wasn’t at a point where he could just wish something and for that something to happen… 

And, then, all hell broke loose. 

The deafening sound was heard again. This time, the woman near him who had previously screeched, fell down, clutching her stomach and producing a rather incoherent sound. She was sprawled lifeless on the ground moments later, and Izaya saw that a huge hole was suddenly carved through her. Then the sound was heard once again and another passer-by screamed as his left hand detached itself from him. And then many sounds were heard from many directions, mixing with the human screams like the God from above them was playing darts and he was just aiming and shooting on a whim. Izaya just stood there for some moments, while everyone else around him were confused and screaming and running towards any direction they could think of but they had no way of knowing where might have been safe or dangerous. And as the God continued his cruel game and Izaya saw someone coughing up blood and trying to gather his intestines from his slashed open belly, he forced himself to think that if something or someone was really aiming at them and hitting them with something, maybe the wisest choice would have been to take shelter inside some house.

Knowing that there would be no house that would open its door at such a time and that he’d lose valuable time trying to force himself in, he ran towards his favorite and well known back alleys of the village, to thin and dark spaces he knew so very well because of his shady job. The noise was growing even bigger by the second and his survival instincts were telling him that the danger did accordingly. As he was running, he felt multiple times the sensation of something passing him by at enormous speed, something like an arrow but insanely quicker and invisible as well. When he finally reached the backstreets, he hid behind a house’s wooden wall and he finally dared to look behind him at the main street. Blood had painted everything crimson and corpses had already started piling up all over the big road. The injured ones who were desperately trying to find some place safe, were also completely blown up some seconds later. It was truly Hell on Earth. Izaya never particularly believed in God but it wasn’t like he didn’t believe either. After all, knowing that the death was the absolute end, was too scary of a thought. But even with death unfolding in such way right in front of him, the adrenaline running through his veins wouldn’t allow him to think about it. He only thought about it the next moments, when the world finally became too surreal to be tolerated. 

Creatures started making their appearance down the street. They were all green, carrying big, black sticks on their arms with a very peculiar shape. “MONSTERS! MONSTERS!” Was heard all over the place from the remaining survivors and Izaya cursed them inwardly for not being able to keep their mouths shut, like they were asking to be found. He then wondered if Namie had indeed poisoned his tea that morning and those were just the final hallucinations until he’d find his way towards the Underworld. Maybe a part of him wished for it to be so. The creatures had a humanoid appearance, they had arms and legs and a torso but their head wasn’t a human’s head. It reminded Izaya of the head of a fly, with two enormous black eyes covering both of its sides and something like a rope hanging from where the nose should be. He could see no mouths. 

So… how would those creatures eat them?

Izaya could feel the blood draining from his face. “Hey, hey, you’ve got to be kidding me, God.” He whispered to himself, as a weak and scared smile appeared on his face. “This can’t be real, can it?” Even though he considered himself to be a brave man, he had to fight to suppress the tremble that threatened to take over him, and he even had to lean completely over the wooden wall. He wondered how long it would be until they discovered his hiding place. Fear wasn’t an emotion he was glad to accept. In fact, he rarely ever felt afraid. Izaya Orihara was a smart and calculating man, and even if he was involved in a rather dangerous business, he almost always had a great percentage of control over each presented situation. But now this was outside every possible calculation he could have ever made. Now this was so… unpredictable. 

The creatures started screaming to each other some noises Izaya could not understand. He didn’t know if they were just above a level of a dog’s barking or an actually eloquent speech. Then they dispersed, knocking down the wooden doors and dragging out the terrified residents. A man managed to escape one and he started running in frenzy away from them. Then one of the creatures barked something at another. That other picked up the weird black stick it was holding and pointed at the fleeing man. A moment later, the same noise as before was heard and the head of the man exploded just like the one of the man’s before Izaya had.

Then it dawned on Izaya; those sticks were responsible for the massacre before. So, maybe, if he managed to avoid them, he would manage to escape with his life. The point was to not let a single green creature see him. It was an unlikely bet but it was better than nothing, at least now he could tell the direction of what seemed like the God’s fury before. He just needed to hide until they left. Hide? Or get out of the village? How far had they gone? How did they come here in the first place? Where could they possibly be now? There was no way of knowing. 

Anyway, it was dangerous to sit just right there. He turned swiftly in order to leave … and bumped right onto something else. In his terror, he had turned to leave very abruptly so the force of the collision threw him backwards and he landed on his backside. Before he could even come around from the impact, the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the end of a black stick, pointed straight to his face. He froze from the shock and he could only move his eyes, from down the green legs, up to the big eyes of the fly. He didn’t even have the courage to think sarcastically what a wonderful day today was. 

Those few moments when he realized he was probably going to die, he suddenly thought about his sisters and that maybe he liked them a bit after all. Together with them, he thought about the only human he was ever able to call a friend, Kishitani Shinra, a quack with unusually high levels of successful healing cases. Shinra was shunned from their home town and left because he had married a woman who was an outcast due to her strange physical characteristics, like the color of her hair and eyes. Izaya vaguely wondered what might have become of him… 

Two other green creatures came from behind. Izaya heard them exchanging sounds with the one holding the stick up to his face, then he heard them laughing. He concluded that they must have been speaking, just in a different code. His curiosity momentarily overcame his terror, but that moment quickly passed because he realized that this laughter was a very ominous sign of what was about to happen to him. 

His fears came true when the last two creatures from behind seized him from the arms and made him stand up, holding him so strongly that his escape was impossible. The one in front of him then lowered the black stick and guided it towards the ends of Izaya’s yukata, at his ankles. Izaya looked at it perplexed until the creature delved it between his legs, inside the clothing, and then slowly pulled it up, revealing from the shanks and up more and more of his skin. 

Izaya’s first reaction would be to kick it off and he barely restrained the impulse, because he knew that this accursed thing was point right in his genitals from that angle. The laughter grew louder and he threw his head back and clenched his eyes shut in desperation, as they started to reveal his thighs. He knew what was going to happen to him, it seemed very much like what a monster would do. But then he realized that they didn’t seem to have any genitals. He slightly opened his eyes to examine them better, something felt off. A very bad premonition came over him, as he was trying to discern the true nature of those creatures. He had never seen anything like that before, so he might have been mistaken, but as he analyzed their forms, his hunch only continued to grow stronger. 

Suddenly, a rough hand shot up and grabbed him from the face, the fingers digging inside his cheeks. One of the creatures that were holding him had grabbed him and brought his face near those hideous oversized eyes. Izaya could only breathe heavily and stare back. Perhaps his hunch was indeed mistaken… 

And then the stick was removed from near his person. His yukata fell down and covered his legs again, before other important parts of his body would be revealed, but before he could rejoice also, his hands were roughly shoved behind his back, and tightly tied so that he couldn’t even flinch. Then, those two creatures grabbed him from the arms again and this time they started dragging him towards the other end of the alley. What Izaya came across as soon as they stepped into the other main street, was of course corpses and blood everywhere, but now, in the middle of the road, what was shining at the centre of the massacre were carriages. Their cargo was nothing other than people, locked inside huge, metallic cages. So, this was where all the people they were dragging from the houses were going? Izaya bitterly remember the cages of his city’s Red Light District, with all the beautiful prostitutes smiling and calling the men for some hours to play. Izaya thought of those existences as pitiful, though occasionally, extremely beautiful women did exist in that industry. Geishas were pieces of art and truly worthy of a man’s respect, but those poor souls behind the cages… It wasn’t only then that it occurred to Izaya that their smiles were being faked, but he wished as bitterly that he didn’t have to join them, as he was violently pushed inside a cage himself. 

He almost fell on a woman and he had to drop on his knees to prevent that. Then, lifting his head up and looking around him, he saw that he was on the same cage with a woman in her thirties with big breasts – she must have been a wife and a mother, someone could only guess what had happened to her family – a couple of young girls in the age around sixteen to twenty and one young boy around that age as well. Everybody had wide, glued to the ground eyes, like the fear had already consumed their soul and left them completely empty. Then again, Izaya wasn’t in the mood for a chat either. 

As soon as he was shoved in, the carriage started to move. Izaya turned around and looked at the demonic landscape they were leaving behind. He was grateful for his life but he knew very well that unless he escaped, said life wouldn’t last long. Either way, he stared at the creatures and examined them as thoroughly as he could. He didn’t know what he was hoping to see… Until a corpse moved.

Obviously he was someone who had pretended that he died, waiting for the right chance. For Izaya he did something completely stupid, he could have waited until they were gone and then he would have escaped with his life. Idiots, the world was surrounded by idiots. Instead of fleeing, the man grabbed the first wooden stick he found from the broken door of a nearby house, and he swiftly brought it on the behind of the head of the first creature that passed him by, screaming in a blind fury. 

Then Izaya saw it. That head with the big fly’s eyes fell down unceremoniously. But it wasn’t cut off, it just fell off. And when it did, it revealed what it was hiding. 

Izaya had never again seen hair of that color. He felt his breath catching up his throat and he didn’t realize that he was breathing until then. It was so bright it blinded him, like the coins he used to be paid with for his services. He didn’t know golden hair could exist, but here it was, right in front of him. And then that person turned around and revealed a face with a sardonic smile plastered on it, as the blood from the previous hit was running from his hair down to his forehead and then cheeks. Izaya had seen that smile before. It was the expression a beast was taking when it was bearing its teeth, ready to lash out at its enemy. 

“I should tell you,” Shizuo growled as he was nearing the man that attacked him, who was left as dumbfounded as it was humanly possible, thusly he couldn’t move a muscle. “that you SHOULDN’T HAVE FUCKING PISSED ME OFF YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!” And with that bark, he punched that man so hard that he literally flew in the air for almost twenty meters and then he landed on his head with a sickening crack.

They were humans… and yet, they were not?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Shizuo Heiwajima was a man who hated violence. For as long as he could remember himself, he was always repulsed and saddened at the mere idea of forcefulness of all forms. It wasn’t like he despised conflict in general, after all that would be an absurd thought. What he disliked was when any form of violence had to take place in order to resolve that conflict. Inflicting pain at someone because you wanted to have something of his, because he took something of yours, simply because he did something that annoyed you or because you just hated his guts so much… Shizuo would have been happy and perfectly content if such things would just stop happening and the world would finally gain peace.

Those were the kind of thoughts he had as he crushed a half-smoked cigarette of his with his foot, next to a couple of unrecognizable corpses. He had spat it out before he could finish it because he was so damn annoyed right then. The hit at the back of his head that bastard before had given him did not hurt, but it was itching him like mad, all due to the blood that was making his hair stick on his head and creating a mess. He needed some water to wash it off… 

“Hey, Shizuo!” He heard a familiar voice calling him and he turned his head around. “Did everything go as planned?” A man who was trying too hard to crack a smile and who Shizuo knew quite well came up near him and started walking next to him. 

“Hah!” Shizuo let out, angry and exasperated. “And just what wasn’t supposed to go as planned? We’d have more difficulty raiding a barn full of pigs with mattocks than what happened here today.” They passed by the dead body of a small child and Shizuo gritted his teeth. No matter how many times he would see such battlefields it wasn’t something he could just get used to. 

“And which one of those pigs managed to injure the great Heiwajima Shizuo?” The other man asked playfully. 

“What the fuck did you want, Kadota?” 

“Nothing much, I’m just going to meet with Togusa and Yumasaki. I left them to do all the work by their own… I must go help them.” He sounded dissatisfied and somewhat disappointed. It was always like this with Kadota. Since he was assigned at the supporting troops, he and his little group, among others, had assumed the task of taking care of whatever was left off of the mess. Usually they were gathering food and whatever else might have seemed useful, but now, since they were in a place nobody had set foot before, they had orders to gather just about everything they could find. 

Shizuo knew that Kadota’s disappointment wasn’t because he was able to fight, he never did if he could avoid it; it was because he couldn’t save anyone this time like he used to do before. Every time they had to attack civilians, after the attack was over, Kadota would always find a way to rescue some of the people left who were hiding. Shizuo never helped him at his activity but he never hindered or reported him. Their commander, Tanaka Tom, was always lenient at these kind of issues as well, but this time, since it was the first time they were attacking this place, the element of surprise worked in their favor and specific orders had been given from above not to let anyone escape. Although, for as far as they could see, the habitants were quite behind them in terms of technological advancement and the resistance would only amount to swords, bats, bows and arrows. Even so, as one sided as this fight was, their orders to eliminate any possible chances of loss were absolute. 

“I see…” Shizuo took out another cigarette and put it in his mouth. “I was thinking of meeting up with Commander Tom, so I need to go back at the camp. Have they completed it yet?” 

“Yes, it’s almost over, that’s where I’m coming from… But…” His face clouded up. “I doubt that taking care of setting up tents is what it’s in the minds of most of them right now…” It was clear that he was starting to get bitter, as he clenched his fists. “I set up tents and cut down trees and gathered provisions so that murderers and rapists and all the bastards of society would eat and drink and fuck and kill in them and-“

“Kadota.” Shizuo cut him off. He didn’t say anything more but he didn’t need to. 

Kadota stopped and looked at him, and then he let out a small sincere smile. “Sorry. I’m supposed to have gotten used to it by now. You’re right, we’re in the army, we can’t do much about what’s happening around us, can we.” He said so, but it was still obvious that he didn’t believe so. 

Shizuo just looked away. “Did they take many carriages this time?”

“Yes, and probably, almost no one will remain alive at the end of the night. It was only the first village. There’ll be more in the future, so I doubt that they’ll keep anyone to play with for a longer time just from the start.” 

“Yeah… you’re right. That’s probably what will happen.” Shizuo concluded as well. “Well, see you later. I need to get back.” He parted with Kadota with those words and a short waving, as he headed towards some of the carriages that were left, the ones without cages on. Usually they were using military SUV’s but this time, they brought horses and carriages in a try to eliminate the noise for a sneak attack. Shizuo didn’t particularly disliked horses, but they were a hell of a trouble to have upon the ship. They fucking smelled, and that fucking irritated him. 

He hoped on the first carriage he saw. Not being able to ride a horse irritated him as well. “Are we leaving just yet?” He asked the one who was in charge.

“Yes, yes, don’t worry Mr. Heiwajima!” The other man informed him at once. It was just crazy to piss Shizuo off and everybody had learned that by now, in the good or the hard way. The last time someone pissed Shizuo off before they stepped on land, they were searching for him in a radius of miles around the ship and they rescued him just in time, otherwise he would have become a nice snack for sharks. “I just got a bit late, I must confess, but I had trouble at the other carriage I was driving… I don’t know what happened, a horse just started to kick all around like something spooked it! I was only carrying some… you know… in the cages…”

“I don’t fucking care!” Shizuo barked at him. “Get going!” He ordered, and in almost thirty minutes they had already arrived. 

Shizuo was lucky because he didn’t have to search to find who he was looking for. As soon as he got off the carriage, a man with curly, long hair and glasses was coming over to him. “Shizuo! Where have you been, I have been looking all over for you! …what happened?” Tanaka Tom asked worried when he saw Shizuo’s hair dyed in red.

“It’s nothing, Commander Tom.” Shizuo shrugged it off. “Do you have some water?” His commander nodded and gave him a calabash. Shizuo took a piece of clothe out of his pocket, which he was holding for situations like this, wetted it and wiped the blood off of his face and hair. He was used to such practices. 

“I guess that there wasn’t as big of a resistance as we expected?” Tom asked Shizuo, as they started walking down at the camp. It was clear that there were lot that needed to be done, especially at the outer perimeter, but still, it was an impressive task to put it together so quickly, considering that they had arrived only half a day before. 

“What resistance.” Shizuo didn’t even put an exclamatory mark at his tone. “That was pure slaughter. There’s just no way they can hold against our guns, especially if they have no clue of our existence. I didn’t even participate in that fiasco, but still got my guard down and someone swung a stick on my head… that angered me.”

“I can imagine.” Tom smiled compliantly and then his expression turned even more serious. “I know Shizuo. There have been a couple of people that took the trouble to inform me.”

“Only a couple, huh.” Shizuo wondered out loud. Almost all of the people that had taken part at the attack must have had already returned long by then. 

“Only a couple.” Tom repeated after him. “Never mind, now the beginning has been finally made here. It took this long but it happened. Now I just have to report it and wait for further orders. We’ll be keeping in the same pace until we receive them.”

“The orders of the military higher-ups are and always will be absolute, I take it? We’re in the army, so there’s nothing we can do about it?” He remembered Kadota’s words. 

Tom stopped and looked at him. “Does this look like an army to you, Shizuo?”

“No.” It was the blonde’s immediate and blunt response.

“What does it look like to you then?” 

“It doesn’t matter what it looks like to me, it’s about what it really is.” Shizuo started walking again and Tom kept at his pace. “And the one and only truth is that this here is a bunch of murderers, rapists, thieves, and all of the dregs that our society couldn’t fit behind bars, so instead of that, they decided to give them weapons and told them to go attack someone else, because there was no one more of a complete bastard and disposable at the same time. That’s what this is, that’s what we are. And we know it very well.” Shizuo lit up another cigarette as he remembered the day he was put in front of the jury and given two choices: Death penalty or war duty. The charges were only on assault and normally it wasn’t something that would get him a death sentence, but due to previous incidents, his inhuman physical strength was out in the open, and combined with his incredibly bad temper, it was just impossible for him to continue living as a normal human. Shizuo knew it very well since the age of twelve so he had already prepared himself when he had to make the choice at sixteen, if that was even considered as a choice. 

Since then, he had been assigned in this battalion, given outrageous missions every single time. As he said before, people like him, whom society didn’t favor, were used mainly for the dangerous dirty work. It had been almost nine years since then. Tom was a new but had proven himself to be a wise commander as well, in a couple of missions before this last one, the most extraordinary of all. They had been sailing around the winds for almost two years, waiting to discover and conquer what might lie beyond, stepping on land only occasionally to replenish their provisions in nearby small, uninhabited islands.

“That’s right, that’s what this is and what I’m supposed to be leading.” Tom had made his point. “Most of them were prisoners for heavy felonies, and on top of that, we’ve been sailing for years. If I don’t let them let off some steam now, it’ll be all over for all of us. You might not want to continue any further.” He warned Shizuo, but Shizuo knew what was happening in the center of the camp probably better than him. They could now clearly hear the screams, most of them belonging to women, and the almost satanic laughter of their tormentors. He knew just where the carriages with the cages had gone. 

“My tent must be at the other side and it’s a big circle. Let’s go in a bit further and we’ll take the detour when the things get too ugly if you want, Commander Tom.”

“It doesn’t anger you, Shizuo?” Tom questioned him once again.

“It does, but now I can take it. Because I know that this is what war is. And you as the commander, more than anyone, owe to know what happens here even of you have no other choice but not to try to stop it.” Someone would think that Shizuo was talking out of line, but that was the way he was. He didn’t know if it was true that the commander favored him, or he was just trying to secure Shizuo as his ally and not his enemy. Either way, Shizuo had been saved many times by him and he felt indebted towards him, so he thought that he should say what needed to be said. 

“You are right. You are, but… it’s such an unsavory sight.”

“Every sight of war is unsavory.” Shizuo replied.

“Heh… I guess you’re right in that one too.” Tom shrugged. 

They both knew that what was happening at the center of the camp was an orgy sent straight from hell. Shizuo had seen many times soldiers taking women civilians like they were nothing more than animals. At first, he was enraged, and he narrowly escaped being charged with treason when he tried to kill his fellow soldiers who were abusing girls. But as he roamed from battlefield to battlefield, he saw that no matter from which side they were on, these atrocities happened; he then learned to accept it as another face of the war. It disgusted him to the core of his soul and reminded him of what a rotten human being he was more than when he was killing in battle or executing war prisoners. But he had vowed, for this exact reason, to never look away. 

As they strolled further in, they saw soldiers dragging women from their hair and whatever was left of their clothes and throwing them inside their tents. There were some who weren’t patient enough so they had dropped them right on the ground and raping them right there. Shizuo’s and Tom’s faces had already been contorted with disgust but they pushed their way further in. They saw a couple of others with boys. When Shizuo had decided he had seen enough, angry voices were heard just a couple of feet to their left.   
They looked briefly at each other and then they headed towards that direction. As they walked, they heard the voices more clearly. 

“Fucking bitch! She fucking killed herself, where did that cunt get the fucking knife, can you tell me?”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know? Aw, man, and she was the only one with such huge knockers! All of the women here look like men with cunts! Where are the boobs?”

“If it’s going to be like that, we have men as well! Here, grab him-“ 

When Shizuo and Tom arrived at the scene, they encountered a corpse on the ground that it belonged to a big busted woman in her thirties. Her neck was skewered all the way through, and it look like she rested on a red pillow. Right next to her, four men were grabbing and clawing at a black haired man in his mid twenties. They had already torn away most of his robes’ dark red fabric and only some rags were miserably clinging on him by then. He was putting up quite the fight, and he had multiple cuts and bruises all over him as a result, but four against one with his arms tied behind his back was rather futile. Shizuo vaguely noted the other man’s gritted teeth as he was trying to hold back the screams. He shook his head in disappointment and he turned to leave as the other men were forcing him on his knees. 

“Shizuo!” Suddenly, one of them yelled, and Shizuo turned swiftly at his direction. “Hey man, you have never taken a girl no matter where we go! What do you say, is this better suited to your tastes?” He winked at his accomplices, who just chuckled. “Here, we can share! You can go first!” They laughed, and they kicked the other man right at Shizuo’s feet. 

Many months later, when Shizuo would lie in the yard of a house he had never even dreamed of before, with nothing else to do, looking at the sky, he would often recall that first meeting, without being able to help himself but wonder what would have happened if he had simply ignored them, or even, if he had followed Tom’s advice and had made that circle to reach his tent as he told him. But he hadn’t done that. He had walked straight ahead. And when that man was thrown at his feet, he didn’t ignore him, but he grabbed him by the hair and pulled him up, so that he could look him in the face.

The man let out a small yelp from the pain when Shizuo grabbed his hair, it must have been indeed painful for someone to feel his weight dragged up only by his scalp. Shizuo held him up at his feet, so that their faces would come closer and he could look at him. There wasn’t a particular reason why he did it, he just felt like he wanted to see that guy’s face. 

He had a horizontal cut at the left side of his forehead, a bruised cheekbone and a slightly cut lip, but that was it. The ones that caught him were careful enough not to harm his face too badly and one could easily guess why. When he slowly opened his eyes and stared right into Shizuo’s, he noticed their dark brown color. Shizuo’s eyes then briefly traveled up and down and examined the battered, half-naked body in front of him. His robes had fallen off his shoulders, hanging miserably from his arms, leaving his torso wide open. The lower part was also torn in shreds, leaving one of his legs naked as well. Some rags were still covering his other leg and his privates, but it was obvious that he wasn’t wearing anything else underneath.

Obviously, this was a sorry state for someone to be in, but when Shizuo locked eyes with him again, he realized that he was unable to feel much pity for him. Behind the well disguised desperation, the anger and the bitterness, Shizuo could feel a deeper form of malice. Like he was holding something venomous. He grimaced and pushed him violently back by his chest, making stumble and fall down on his back. “I don’t fucking like him!” He just spat, and then he turned to leave. 

He hadn’t done two steps when he heard a voice he hadn’t heard before yelling: “SHIZUO!” He half turned at the call, only to feel something hitting the left side of his head with force. 

Shizuo froze for some moments, trying to realize what exactly had hit him. He felt liquid running down at the side of his face, as his fresh wound from before had just reopened. 

He slowly turned and saw the dark haired man on the ground, but with his arms free, his right hand hanging down like he had just thrown something. His attackers were looming over him but they had frozen on their tracks. In the brink of madness, all Shizuo could see was the devilish smirk adorning the dark haired man’s face, and all he could hear was his arrogant chuckling. “Yo, Shi-zu-o…” He repeated, leaning his pretty head back mockingly. 

Shizuo just saw red at that moment. He didn’t have any memories of being more angered at anyone and anything before, and he falsely believed at that time that he never would, either. “Get away from him.” He snarled, as he pulled his sleeves back to his elbows. “GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM HE’S MINE I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM KILL KILL KILL!” He roared, as he went and blindly grabbed and ripped off the ground a huge nearby rock that it had been too hard to be moved from the people making the camp before.   
The other men fled as fast as their legs could carry them. The number one rule in their battalion was to never anger Heiwajima Shizuo. And now that someone had awakened the beast, a fuck wasn’t worth it to come face to face with his wrath. 

As for the dark haired man, he remained where he was, watching Shizuo coming towards him, holding the giant rock over his head, which he clearly intended to use to make him a pulp onto the ground. “Fucking insect I’m going to bash your head into the ground I swear I’m going to fucking kill you, kill you, kill you!” Shizuo was growling but the dark haired man didn’t seem fazed at all. His smirk just turned into a sad smile when Shizuo came and loomed right above him, the shadow of the rock engulfing both of them. He was looking at Shizuo in the eye and even though it was clear that there was just no hope for him, there wasn’t a single sign indicating that he had the intention of breaking the eye contact. Shizuo hesitated under his gaze for a second, and that was probably when Tom found the opportunity to speak. 

“No Shizuo, don’t! STOP IT!” He yelled, effectively stopping Shizuo on his tracks. 

“HAH? WHY?” Shizuo protested, still enraged. 

“Stop it I’m telling you I have a reason! That’s an order!” His Commander used his most imposing tone of voice, and Shizuo reluctantly realized that he had to comply. “And for God’s sake, put that mountain down!”

Shizuo growled in anger but he did as told. Then the dark haired man’s expression changed from the triumphant one and it hardened once again, his eyes sharply coming and going from Shizuo to Tom and vice versa. “What do you want, commander.” Shizuo could barely maintain his composure, as his eyes were spitting lightings towards the dark haired man’s direction. 

“Doesn’t anything ring weird to you, Shizuo?” Tom’s habit of asking Shizuo questions seemed to be on a roll that day. 

“Weird? He was asking for it! He called my name and…”

“He called your name when he knows neither our language nor who you even are.” Tom explained to him. “He saw them calling you earlier and he concluded that this was your name. In addition, he purposely tried to anger you, so that you’d kill him before they could gang rape him.”

Shizuo thought about it for some moments. “Maybe, so?” Little shit had tried to take advantage of him, hadn’t he? 

“So he’s smart, Shizuo. And if he’s smart, he can learn our language! If he can learn our language, we will have an interpreter, and if we have an interpreter, we will be able to communicate with them. And if we’ll be able to do that, then maybe we can minimize in the long term the civilian casualties, and such abominable things like what’s going on right now will cease to exist! And even without such a long term purpose, we absolutely need an interpreter for strategic reasons.”  
Tom’s train of thought seemed to have some logic but nevertheless, something still bugged Shizuo. “I wouldn’t trust him.” He finally concluded, still glaring daggers at the object of his antipathy. 

“We can’t afford to wait for the next one.” Tom shook his head. “So, from now on, do a good job taking care of him and teaching him the basics.” He patted Shizuo on the shoulder and then turned to leave. 

“Yes Si- WHAT!” Shizuo let out, dumbfounded. “No way, no way! I can’t do that! I’ll kill him at the spot! Plus, I don’t want to!” 

“There’s nobody else I can entrust him to.” Tom said, with his back still turned on Shizuo. “Nobody else can protect him from those who’ll want to rape and kill him. You can do anything else you’d like, but if you’d refrain from killing him, that would be enough.” Then Tom turned and looked at Shizuo. “Shizuo, this is the first personal mission I’m assigning you to do. Please, don’t disappoint me.” And then he left, leaving Shizuo with his mouth hanging open in a silent disbelieving pose. 

From his part, Izaya could only watch, glued at his fallen on the ground position, as the was-he-a-human-was-he-not being with golden hair let out an exasperated growl and punched the rock he had grabbed earlier, breaking it to a million pieces. What the future had in store for him, or if such a thing still existed for him at this point, without being able to understand a thing of what was said right then, he had absolutely no way of knowing.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The fact that the merciless monsters that had appeared and violently destroyed everything in Izaya’s world, turned out to be fellow humans with masks and green clothes, did not surprise him in the least. As he was exclaiming almost every day, Izaya loved humans, he was fascinated by them, and that meant that he was spending his life studying them, viewing them, maybe experimenting on them… occasionally… okay, maybe less rarely… maybe quite often. And if there was only one thing that he was taught by that, was that a more murderous and sadistic kind of species other than them, did not exist in this world. Why would it surprise him if the same principle also applied to the world beyond the winds?

His interest was reaching its peak, but the innate fear wouldn’t let it grow stronger. He had concluded that it would have been better if he escaped as soon as possible, but all the new rules that suddenly applied all around him wouldn’t let him make a quick and safe decision. He did try to spook the horse of his carriage but that sadly failed. His curiosity might have been ultimately what got him, because he refrained from taking further action, until they were already in the middle of the camp. He had wanted to see more of those weird humans. He had assumed that since they got them on the cages, they needed them for some reason, so they would be safe for a while.

That was another mistake of his part. What was awaiting the prisoners was just the continuation of the previous carnage. He saw soldiers grabbing women, hitting them, ripping their clothes off, immobilizing them, and viciously taking them like dogs. Many of them, when they were reaching climax, they were strangling the poor woman they were abusing. Izaya also saw some cutting off necks, or plunging knives in the tender flesh of the tormented women, cutting open bellies, chests, one even dug up a heart.

It didn’t take long for the smell of blood to fill the air. Izaya had never before felt so bad the need to pray, but he stopped himself on time. He was hiding a kunai in his sleeves, as always, because of his job, and okay, maybe his character, so he carefully cut the ropes that were binding his arms, not completely, but enough to tear them up easily. Then he had contemplated the pros and cons of holding onto it. The rest of the intruders clearly weren’t as powerful as that one with the golden hair – although he had seen more with such hair since then, he couldn’t forget that one – Izaya could tell by the way they were struggling to handle the women. But they still outnumbered him by far, and the possibilities of running away and escaping them were eliminated by both the fact that they were on the middle of a very huge military camp, and from the existence of the black sticks. Plus, he never knew what they were going to do to him if they found a knife on his person. So he just decided he’d lay low until he could grab one black stick for himself and somehow win his way out. He just had to wait for the right opportunity.

Then, there was that issue with the knife. He could have just thrown it out of the cage but… that wouldn’t have been any fun. Instead, it would have been fun to see… how someone else would react. And so, he discreetly threw it near the older woman in his cage.

Her reaction was the outmost predictable. She didn’t even try to take some of her attackers with her. As soon as they grabbed her from the cage and threw her on the ground, she killed herself without the slightest hesitation. But Izaya didn’t have the time to get bored, as he was dragged out of the cage in her place.

He had pictured his death in his head a lot of times, thinking of how he wanted to die. He had never reached a definite conclusion, but one thing was for sure. Only one, as he felt the clothes getting ripped away from him, and the rough hands violating his skin. Not like this. Not like an animal, not like this. He wasn’t the perfect human being, far from that; he knew it, but such an ugly way of dying… No, he wouldn’t. He was above this. He wouldn’t.

And then, he heard that word. “Shizuo!” they had said. And then he saw him. Hovering over him, the man with that beastly power.

Izaya had always had high levels of pride. He loved humans but he also believed that as individuals, most of them were definitely more stupid, more gullible, and more driven by their selfish desires than him, and consequently, not of his level. The difference of the height they were standing on was obvious. Izaya was smarter, always prepared, always away from the rest of them, untouchable. He was the one in control.

Getting thrown at the feet of this man was enough to shatter those illusions. He could feel the barriers that were protecting him breaking, and the little confidence he still had left flew right away from him. The thought of being taken by someone who possessed the kind of strength he saw before scared the wits out of him and left him shaking like a leaf. Not that being gang banged was a better option, but the desperation and humiliation were completely different from the thought of pure terror. This man would break him apart. He could feel it, he could sense it, he could even smell it, as he was being lifted up like a ragged doll. He couldn’t stop himself from fantasizing the way he would violently be tormented and killed and there was nothing he could do to stop it, just because their levels were so different… only that this time, he was at the lower one. And the only other thing he could think of was just how much he hated this man, as he opened his eyes to meet the other’s ones.

And then he faced something else he had never faced before with such intensity: Rejection. ‘Shizuo’ had said something, and Izaya could pretty much guess what it was, as he was thrown back at his previous capturers. ‘Shizuo’ had refused to take him. And now…

Izaya always thought that the people who commit suicide were all idiots. Seriously, what reason is there to end your own life? He was unable to understand it. If it was him, he would always choose the one way that would allow him to live if only a second longer. After all, he didn’t have anything that precious that he would be willing to die for. Until then.

It seems like his pride was indeed weighing more than his life at that point. If Shizuo refused to take him, then there was no reason that he was willing to allow to those bastards to pick up the leftovers. Since there was no escape, it would have been better to die instantly rather than becoming their fuck toy. And since that option had just become available, with no hesitation, he threw that rock.

Even though he pronounced Shizuo’s name only twice, he was keen on repeating it inwardly like a mantra. He couldn’t help but wonder if that beastly man, whose anger and strength might have been unparalleled in the entire world, even in the one beyond the winds, knew what kind of meaning his name held in Izaya’s language. He probably didn’t. It was such an irony either way.

When that other man stopped Shizuo, Izaya perhaps felt a bit relieved, but he tensed up immediately as he didn’t have a clue for the reason. They said something, something that Izaya couldn’t understand. And then suddenly, he found himself alone with Shizuo.

After breaking that rock in his rage, Shizuo huffed and then turned reluctantly and came near Izaya again. “ _Get up!_ ” He ordered him as he made a motion upwards with his hand. Izaya of course could not understand the content of the order, and though he could pretty much guess what it was, his legs wouldn’t obey him, so he just kept staring at Shizuo in confusion. Shizuo let out an impatient sound, like clucking, and he quickly grabbed Izaya’s right arm and lifted him up in a split second, like he weighted nearly as much as a piece of paper. Then he forced him to walk alongside him, as he was going even deeper inside the camp.

Izaya was grateful he hadn’t been grabbed by the hair again, but the fingers digging into his arm were beginning to hurt almost as much. He desperately tried to pry them off, without of course any possibility of success. As he was struggling, Shizuo paid next to none attention to him, like his existence didn’t mean anything more than an ant’s. But when they passed near a dozen of soldiers butchering lots of their newly acquired playthings, Izaya stopped fighting and instinctively glued himself on Shizuo’s side, clutching at the hand locked around his arm for dear life. Shizuo spared a glance at him but nothing more, and anyway Izaya never saw it, because he couldn’t take his eyes off those atrocities unfolding in front of him, thinking of how easily he could become a victim too, if Shizuo so decided.

When they left that gruesome scene behind them, Izaya relaxed a tiny bit and removed himself from Shizuo’s side. He still felt far from safe though, as he reminded himself that lots of them were just picking the piece of meat they preferred to party with it privately, in their tents. He bitterly wondered if he should have held onto his knife and taken his own life just like the woman had done before. But he quickly dismissed the thought. He disliked that possibility equally to his current situation. After all, he would have preferred to cut Shizuo’s throat off and then run away from that hell. But of course that thought right then was for laughs.

It didn’t take very long for them to reach the tent Shizuo had in mind. He threw Izaya in with force, and he landed painfully on his knees on a very light mattress, which resembled the futons his people were using to sleep on. Izaya let out a small pained cry, but he froze for some moments when he turned around and saw Shizuo stepping inside as well. Although the tent was quite big, Shizuo was so tall that he had to lean down to get in.

Realizing what would probably happen next, Izaya quickly turned around and scraped backwards, in an attempt to get away from the other man who looked so overwhelming right then. His chest had already started to ache from the constant exposure in danger and he suddenly felt very tired, knowing that this must have been the point where he started to give up. It didn’t fit his character though, so he made one last attempt: _“No, Shizuo, stop!”_ He said at that different code, while raising his hand, what he had heard from that curly haired man when Shizuo was about to kill him before. He just gambled that they meant what he thought they meant. And even if they did…

“ _Why?_ ” Shizuo just asked him. Izaya knew that he was asking him for the reason, and he also knew that they both were aware that there was no way Izaya could give it. Shizuo kneeled beside him and Izaya tried to back away further, as much as he was allowed to in there. He desperately wanted to turn and claw at the fabric of the tent so that he could shoot himself out of it, but he was certain that if he as much as attempted it, Shizuo would grab him on the spot.

 _“No… stop!”_ He repeated, still keeping his hand raised up, trying to keep some non-existent distance between the two of them. _“Stop…no!”_ He said for the last time, when Shizuo finally closed the gap and grabbed Izaya from the neck, throwing him backwards and pinning him down on the light mattress, essentially on the ground with a couple of sheets in between.

That was the point when Izaya understood that there was nothing he could do against the man above him as he was. He stopped fighting, both physically and mentally, and he concluded that he would just wait for him to do what he wanted with him and hope that he would still be alive by the time he would be finished. What a great way to go for the equally great Orihara Izaya… what would start happening in mere moments would definitely please many people who knew him if they ever found out, he bitterly thought. The wish of the man from this morning was about to come true, he could feel his spirit rejoice from the underworld.

Then Shizuo said something. Izaya couldn’t understand it but he focused his attention on him. Then slowly, Shizuo released his neck and backed away. That stunned the other man, who lifted himself up a bit, trying to observe Shizuo a bit more. He saw him searching through a bag and he pulled out a white box with a red sign on it, and then a gray piece of clothing Izaya had never seen before. Then he turned towards Izaya once again, and said something else.

“I… I can’t understand you.” Izaya told him in his own language, shaking his head lightly left and right, as he was getting his upper body up, in a sitting position.

Shizuo probably understood it, because he sighed, exasperated, and then grabbed Izaya’s ankle. “ _Leg!_ ” He told him. Izaya was sure that he was ordering him to open them, but instead, he slid the piece of clothing he was holding through his right leg, and then through his left. Then he dragged it all up until Izaya’s waist, covering effectively his privates, and he ripped away whatever was left of Izaya’s yukata, it wasn’t of much use anyway.

Since Shizuo had just covered him, Izaya concluded that he wouldn’t violate him, at least for the time being. But he was still so petrified that he would hardly allow himself to believe it. He kept looking at the piece of clothe covering him from the waist to the middle of his thighs, as Shizuo kept removing the remains of his robes. It was covering him, but still kept his legs separately…

When Shizuo was done with that first task, he opened the white box and it was full with objects Izaya had never seen before. His curiosity helped him overcome his fear and he leaned in, trying to take a better look, as Shizuo was searching through it. Sensing him, the other man snapped his head up and suddenly their noses were almost touching, that’s how close their faces had come. For some moments, none of the two dared to move, as they simply stared inside each other’s eyes, magnetized by them. Then Izaya slowly backed away, because he knew, that if he kept staring, he would quickly get over the first shock and start trying to analyze the man in front of him. That would make him show his emotions, and that, on its turn, would allow Shizuo to notice them, like he had noticed them before, when he grabbed him by the hair. Izaya was fond of reading other people but he wasn’t fond of being read, and he had the feeling that Shizuo would be able to. And that wouldn’t be good for him, because if Shizuo saw just how much Izaya hated him, he would lose his temper again, and consequently, Izaya would lose his life. He could already see how much Shizuo disliked him so he wasn’t going to take any more chances. So he just backed away and averted his eyes.

At first, Shizuo didn’t say anything, and he resumed searching that box. First he pulled out another small piece of cloth, white, and then he grabbed a weird bottle containing a transparent liquid, with which he wetted the cloth. Izaya smelled the alcohol, though it was five times as intense as he was used to, and he concluded that it must have been a kind of beverage… Until Shizuo brought it up and placed it upon the cut on his forehead.

It burned him, and Izaya hissed at the touch and clenched his eyes shut, but he didn’t back away because he knew that alcohol would be good for his wounds. Then, slowly opening his eyes, he tried to come to terms with the fact that not only Shizuo was not abusing him, but he was treating his injuries as well. The thought that he wanted to doll him up first as much as possible did cross Izaya’s mind, but looking at Shizuo’s face once again, the thought passed by as quickly as it came. It had mellowed up quite a bit, and though the feeling of mutual disliking still hung in the air, Shizuo had temporarily put it on the side.

When he was done with the cloth he stuck something on Izaya’s forehead, upon the cut, something that Izaya had no clue what it was but he was determined to examine later. He did try to peel it off but Shizuo grabbed his hand, stopping him. “ _No!_ ” He said.

 _Why_ , Izaya wanted to ask, but he refrained from it, as it would serve no other purpose but angering the other man. Shizuo continued his treatment to the rest of Izaya’s body, even he himself hadn’t realized how badly was hurt or how intense the pain was. But now, as the shock and the levels of adrenaline were fading away, it did hurt an awful lot. Both of his elbows were scratched pretty badly from being dragged on the ground, his knees were even worse, and blood was streaming down at his hands and legs. His fingers and toes were also cut in many places, and his whole body was covered in large bruises, which had already started to take a deep purple color.

Shizuo carefully cleaned the blood off, cleaned all the cuts with alcohol and tied with gauzes the deepest wounds, including the elbows and the knees. Then he fished out of the box another weird object, he opened it, and another transparent, but this time thick liquid, fell on his hands. Izaya looked at it perplexed, but he had no time to protest, when Shizuo started spreading it over Izaya’s bruised skin of his chest. The hands that made a man fly twenty meters away and broke him instantly, the hands that were capable of holding a rock the size of a bear above their owner’s head, were now capable of such a gentle touch. It was like Izaya was sitting on needles; that was how tense he was, as Shizuo continued treating him. Then he proceeded treating the bruises on Izaya’s thighs and the dark haired man shivered, thinking that, had the circumstances be different, he might have even gotten an erection, not because of any sexual attraction but due to the thrill of the moment. It would have been truly exciting… if this man were to be his ally… if this beastly strength was something that Izaya could control then…

He shook his head lightly. Such thoughts were dangerous in his current situation and he couldn’t allow himself to be swept away. That became clear when Shizuo started treating the final bruise, the one on Izaya’s cheekbone. It only took some seconds but Izaya couldn’t take his eyes off Shizuo’s face, studying him, analyzing him, without being able to help himself like before. Like he couldn’t get enough of watching him. The golden hair, the deep brown eyes, the straight nose, the strong chin. He was very weird on Izaya’s eyes, but, as he bitterly had to admit, maybe a bit of handsome.

Shizuo, on the other hand, did not pay any attention to him more than necessary. He just finished his treatment and then he simply grabbed another piece of clothing from his other bag, were he had taken the gray one from. It was rather big and it had a very peculiar shape, Izaya noticed, but then again, everything in that new world was. “ _Hand!_ ” He said then at Izaya. Seeing that Izaya wouldn’t understand, he grabbed Izaya’s hand and repeated: “ _Hand_.” And then he passed Izaya’s hand through one hole of the fabric. Then his other hand, then his head, and then he dragged it down so it was covering him until his waist.

Izaya found it weird, tight and restricting compared to his yukata, but it was another piece of clothing on his almost naked body so he was rather grateful for it. Now that he was almost fully dressed, he started feeling more comfortable and his body instinctively relaxed. Then he was again able to hear the screams from the hell outside. He had forgotten about that. He had forgotten about everything and everyone else in this world besides the man next to him. But now, the weight of the reality of the situation fell down on him heavier than a hundred swords. He was Shizuo’s prisoner, and the only thing in his possession was his mind. Not even his body, and certainly not his life.

Then, Shizuo did something else as well. He grabbed a calabash that was near him, and took out of his pocket, two very small and round objects, one white and one light pink. “ _Water_.” He said, turning the calabash upside down and dropping a few droplets on the ground, making Izaya realize that it was actually water. Then he put one of the objects in his mouth, drank immediately some water and swallowed it along with it. He did the same with the other one. Then he took other two out of his pocket, and gave them to Izaya, along with the calabash.

Izaya definitely did not want to swallow something he had never seen before, but he had just witnessed Shizuo do it so it must have been safe. Plus, he didn’t want to anger him. So, hesitantly, he took them and did as instructed. He drank quite a lot of water though. His mouth was dry and he hadn’t realized how much he was thirsting.

Almost immediately he started feeling himself dazing off. He got scared. Shizuo seemed fine… but… were his internal organs much stronger than a normal person’s like the rest of himself? It was absolutely possible. Unable to keep himself together, he fell back on the light mattress, his vision blurring more with every passing second. He finally succumbed and closed his eyes, drifting off, wishing with all of his heart that he would open them again. He didn’t even have the time to curse Shizuo for this.

Shizuo saw Izaya drifting off to sleep, and he sighed. He had just given him the lightest painkillers and sleeping pills he had. If he hadn’t done that, this man would have never slept, given the pain and the screams from outside. And he honestly didn’t know what to do with him, had he been awake. Shizuo just wanted to postpone any kind of interaction, and furthermore, the man needed to get some sleep, after what he’d been through that day. He might have pissed Shizuo off big deal, but as used as he was to his battalion’s brutality, a small part of him still felt sorry for that guy.

He slipped a pillow under the other man’s head, and dragged some sheets over him, trying to make him more comfortable. Then he stayed a bit over him, watching his face. He knew how intensely this man was watching him and examining him before, so now it was only fair, Shizuo thought. Without the smirk, and the full of malice eyes, he was just a pretty face. Shizuo couldn’t deny that he was pretty, and he wasn’t the type to deny that for someone else either way, because he couldn’t understand such kind of jealousy. Something still bugged him, and it must have been instinct, because he still couldn’t stop comparing they guy with a snake, or an insect. Yes, an insect was better, he thought, as he carefully brushed away with his hand some black strands falling on the other’s forehead. Insect or not, it was the first mission Tom had given him. At least, he wanted to carry it out till the end. Maybe it would make him fell like he’d have accomplished something, that he was actually useful for something besides killing and destroying and causing violence, which he so much despised.

It would have been a lie if he claimed that raping him hadn’t crossed his mind when he slammed him down on the ground. Everyone else around him was always having fun, why should he not? The winners take it all. It was his right, which he had acquired when they conquered that village. And this guy was a man, it wasn’t a defenseless woman. It would just be a battle of superiority. He had pissed him off. He could have blown some steam without killing him, and have some fun in the process. How long had it been since he’d been with a woman? He didn’t even remember.

And then he imagined him struggling and crying and hurting underneath him and he got disgusted with himself. Doing something like that when the other didn’t want it, didn’t enjoy it as well… It was so pathetic, so low, so utterly detestable. The black haired guy had already gotten limp in his hands, and Shizuo knew very well what he was expecting. He didn’t like it. Shizuo didn’t like it at all. That was when he decided that his anger would have to wait for another day. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He had said, as he let him go. The other of course didn’t understand. When he grabbed him some boxers to wear and asked him to give him his leg he didn’t understand him either. So he had just treated him and dressed him up with as few words as possible.

Shizuo stepped outside of the tent and sat down just in front of it, lighting up a cigarette and looking up at the sky, which had started to grow dark. The screams were hitting his ears painfully, though not as painfully as nine years ago. Those pills of course wouldn’t work on him. Even if they would, Shizuo would not have taken them. He wasn’t planning on sleeping that night anyway. He had to hear those screams and remind himself of who he was.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

When Izaya woke up, his whole body felt stiff and even though his eyes fluttered open, he closed them again quickly and turned over, clutching the sheets more tightly around him. He could constantly hear voices and noise around him, and his futon felt harder than ever. Where was Namie? He needed to ask her just what was that fuss all about…   
And then in his mind, boomed the images of green creatures and black sticks and torn clothes. He shot himself up almost screaming, with eyes wide of terror and cold sweat running down his temples. He looked panicked around him and then, when he remembered Shizuo’s existence, he froze. 

He took some deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. He was inside a very weird tent, which barely had inside that makeshift bed he was lying on with the sheets on the ground, some strangely shaped bags, and a low and round barrel. What was leading to the outside world was a cut at the entrance of the tent, where one could see outside where the fabric was cut to create it. Izaya saw some smoke, and then the broad back and the blond hair. There was no way he could have restrained himself.

Shizuo heard the footsteps nearing behind him, so he turned only his head around, this way coming effectively face to face with the black haired man. “Good morning.” He told him, as Izaya held the fabric of the tent’s entrance with his left hand, standing right behind him but without making that one step to leave the tent’s inside. 

Shizuo could see Izaya watching him like a hawk, trying to see through him. That made him uncomfortable and irritated him, but it wasn’t something he could complain about out loud. There are some things you just don’t like in another person when you meet them. Shizuo had already declared his dislike so there was nothing more he could do at the moment, except for cursing the turn of events that brought him at the current position. And even if he did, the other man had no way to understand him. 

He opened his mouth to at least say something, but another voice cut him short. 

“Hey, Shizuo! Is the hell over already?” Kadota waved and approached Shizuo, followed by the rest of his party, Yumasaki and Togusa. He looked worn out and possibly a bit relieved. “We just saw them disposing of dead bodies at-“ Then he spotted Izaya and froze at his tracks, his other two friends almost bumping at him. 

“Damn it Kadota, that hu-“ Togusa began to complain but Yumasaki poked him and showed him the man inside Shizuo’s tent, making him shut up as his jaw almost touched the ground.

Izaya noticed that the reaction of the other men was directed towards him and he took a step behind, hiding further inside the tent, but still without letting the fabric of the entrance go. Shizuo noticed it as well, albeit a bit late. 

“Wha- No, no, it’s not what you think, no!” He hurried, pissed off again, as he stood up in a flash. “Don’t you dare misunderstand it!” 

“Then just what…” Kadota tried to ask for explanations. He was still dumbfounded about his recent discovery but he couldn’t believe that Shizuo would do what many other bastards of their battalion did. 

“Ah, for fuck’s sake!” Shizuo messed his hair in his frustration. “Commander Tom just thought that this one was smart so he made me watch over him until he could learn our language and act as an interpreter. I’m not fucking him, for God’s sake!” 

“Ooh, is that right?” Yumasaki wondered out loud. “An interpreter! Have I read something like this before, I don’t think so… But maybe Erika…” 

“So, Kadota, can you get some clothes for him?” Shizuo asked Kadota as said man was approaching Izaya in his curiosity. “His were already torn and he can’t go on wearing my underwear… Didn’t you guys pick up everything from that village?”

“We did, we stayed there all night.” Togusa informed him. “It was depressing, but it would have been more depressing to come back here.” 

Kadota stood in front of Izaya, expecting to find a trembling and scared animal, and not a composed and calculating man. His eyes were sharp and Kadota could tell that he was definitely more cunning than an average man. His form was still rigid though and it was obvious that he had put himself on defense. “Hi, I’m Kadota.” He said, and extended his arm for a handshake. 

Izaya just looked at it. The man in front of him seemed like a decent guy but he couldn’t understand the meaning behind his words or his extended hand. 

“Don’t bother Kadota he can’t understand you.” Shizuo interrupted them. 

“Eh… Shizuo…” Yumasaki raised his hand hesitantly. “I didn’t think it was possible but you won’t be the one to teach him, will you?”

“HUH? Of course I will be!” Shizuo glared at him. “Do you have any problems with that?”

“No! No, absolutely no, not at all!” Yumasaki denied like his life depended on it.

Kadota just resorted to a tilt of his head and a small smile for a greeting, and then he turned and joined his friends once again. “Don’t worry Shizuo, I’ll bring you the clothes by tonight. Also…” He glanced momentarily behind and saw that Izaya was still watching him. “Nah, forget it.” 

“Well then, I’ll be depending on you.” Shizuo nonchalantly commented, as the three of them said their goodbyes and left him alone with Izaya again. It might have been about time, He thought, as he headed towards the tent.

Izaya let go of the fabric he was holding and stepped behind, allowing Shizuo to step inside the tent as well. He was taller so his head was touching the top, plus it felt a bit constricting with two people inside. Izaya backed away slowly, but only a couple of steps, as much as the small place would allow him to. Every fiber of his being was screaming danger but he couldn’t allow to himself to look weak or scared in front of the other man. 

Shizuo noticed that he was being cautious, and he really couldn’t blame him. But the conversation with Kadota had reminded him of something that he should have probably wondered sooner. “You…” He said, and pointed his finger at Izaya. “What’s your name?”

Izaya fumed inwardly. There he went that guy again, asking him questions he had no way of answering. But of course he didn’t show it and he just took the last word he thought he heard. “Name?” He repeated. 

Shizuo sighed again, that exasperated sigh. Talking and trying to make anything akin to a conversation when the other person wasn’t able to understand him at all, would be a tremendous trial for his patience. “Shizuo.” He said, pointing at himself. Then he pointed at Izaya, waiting. 

And of course, this time he was understood. “Izaya.” Izaya said without mentioning his last name. Shizuo, if he had one, hadn’t mentioned it as well. 

“Izaya.” Shizuo repeated. That was a weird name. All right, now they both knew each other’s name. That was progress… Well no, the hell it was! “So, Izaya!” He started.   
Izaya continued watching him, expecting what he would say.

“I don’t like you!”

The full of disdain look Izaya gave him after that made Shizuo want to punch him to the next dimension and he would never be able to explain how he restrained himself. The ‘I can’t understand you, you dumbass, and you know it very well, so what the hell are you spouting’ kind of look must have been the most irritating look he had experienced so far. 

“Well, I bet you don’t like me either…!” He growled through his teeth as a vein popped dangerously on his forehead. “Well it doesn’t matter you little shit because you’re going to do exactly as I tell you, and there won’t be any ‘I don’t understand’ excuses! You got me?” He said, this time pointing his hand warningly at Izaya.

Izaya ignored all of the rambling he couldn’t understand, and he moved forward, taking in his own hands Shizuo’s one. “Hand.” He said, examining it, and then looking at Shizuo’s stunned face. 

“Y-Yeah…” Shizuo nodded. He understood that nothing could start if he didn’t take into consideration the words Izaya already knew. Which were limited about to: no, stop, Shizuo, hand, leg. 

“Yeah…” Izaya repeated.

“No… yes.” Shizuo corrected him. Izaya looked at him perplexed. “No.” Shizuo moved his head slightly left and right. “Yes.” Then he moved it slowly up and down. “Understand?”

“Understand. Yes.” Izaya nodded as well. “Leg.” He said then, showing Shizuo’s leg.

“Yes…” Shizuo raised his eyebrow. Then Izaya looked at him in the eye again and then he made some movements with his hands, bringing both of them forward and unfolding them, like urging him to continue. 

Well, it might be a good idea. After all, it was better than nothing.

“Nose.” He said, and he pinched Izaya’s nose, watching him in amusement yelping and taking a step back, covering his nose, as he was taken by surprise. We wondered if he had used too much strength but Izaya just seemed a bit pissed off. “Ear.” He continued and grabbed Izaya’s right ear, grinning at the annoyed man. 

“Stop!” Izaya protested and shook Shizuo’s hand away, boiling from rage. He knew that he had to put up with this in order to learn some words and understand what they wanted to use him for, since they didn’t kill him or abuse him right away. But still, there was a limit to how much his pride could take. He was almost this close to tell him not to touch him in his language, and though he stopped on time, because Shizuo wouldn’t understand him but he wouldn’t miss his tone either, he couldn’t contain the malicious glare he shot at the other guy. 

Of course, Shizuo noticed it and the light atmosphere changed at the spot. He grabbed Izaya from the front of his shirt and brought him right up to his face. “You bastard… You’d better fix that look of yours. You know, my patience isn’t limitless!”

Izaya understood very well the concept of his words, as well as the fact that there was no way they could get along, if all it took to irritate this guy with the monstrous strength was a simple wrong way of eyeing him. He’d have to mask his intentions even better than usually. He thought that he was already a master at this but apparently it didn’t work on Shizuo. And something was tugging at him, making him wonder if it ever would. It was also important the fact that despite his position, Izaya didn’t want to mask anything for Shizuo. He despised him, he despised everything about this hellish camp and he wanted to make sure that Shizuo knew it very well. 

“Understand.” He said eventually, loosening the tension of his shoulders and lowering his head a bit, taking a composed expression. Then he carefully placed his hands on Shizuo’s chest, pushing himself lightly backwards, away from the other man. ‘Now let me go’, he wanted to get across. 

He wasn’t even half surprised when he was tossed on the sheets once again. Shizuo quickly loomed over him and he instinctively guarded his face with both of his arms, expecting a destructive punch to come his way. 

Though Shizuo had raised his arm, the punch never came. “Ah, alright, fine!” Shizuo finally shouted out and just sat next to Izaya, who as soon as he realized that he wasn’t going to get beaten, he sat up as well. “You know, I really am going out of my way for a bastard like you. Normally, I would have just beaten you to the ground.” He had his back turned at Izaya so he just kept going on about whatever came to his mind, without minding that the other couldn’t understand him. “Though I guess… You saw and went through some pretty bad stuff since yesterday…” Shizuo’s face softened a bit as he remembered. “Even though you do have the eyes of someone who has done bad stuff as well… I know, I can tell. I’ve seen many like you, and I don’t think I’m mistaken. So, even if you don’t try making me angry, I’ll probably get anyways, but it’s my job to keep you at least alive for a while so… Now what the fuck are you doing!” He barked out, realizing that Izaya was completely ignoring him and playing with the blond strands of his hair instead, without being at all shaken from the previous attack on his person. 

“Kireina kami…” Shizuo heard him whisper and even if he couldn’t understand, he deduced it had something to do with his hair. And he was right, since Izaya was indeed admiring the color of the other man’s hair; that striking gold one he noticed even inside that ferocious nightmare. But it didn’t feel soft at all through his fingers, instead it felt rough, and he noticed that the roots on the top of the other’s head had a darker color. It was only a bit at the start of them, but he could tell, due to the small distance. 

“It’s hair.” Shizuo just informed him. Then he held a few of his own strands with one hand and a few of Izaya’s with the other. “Hair.” He repeated. Izaya’s felt very silky, just like yesterday. 

Izaya had never before tried to seduce a guy. Even when he was always willing to play any trick in the book to get what he wanted, there were limits his pride was indicating him. He would never stoop as low as trying to charm his way with another guy. Then again, he had never before found himself in such a desperate situation that he would even need to consider it. Now the sudden thought was making his insides burn, his heart racing and his mouth dry, the need to conquer that man in front of him as tremendous as it was sudden. He was all alone, surrounded by people that brought the ultimate doom to his country, he didn’t have a clue about what was going to happen to him, and even so, for a split second, all that became insignificant, just by being with another person. 

But that second passed and Shizuo broke free from Izaya’s intense gaze and removed his hand from his hair, like it was nothing for him. And it probably was. Izaya’s heart sank as he deduced that the only reason he was being kept like this was because he would probably be fed to someone important as an untouched prostitute, and Shizuo was only there to guard him until that happened. He couldn’t think of any other reason. If that was so, he needed to escape soon, but first he needed to make sure. After all, the need he had just felt was not the need to belong to Shizuo, Gods forbid. It was the need to make Shizuo belong to him. 

So, when Shizuo tried to stand up, he grabbed him from the arm and held him down, making him look at him again. “Hair.” He repeated. “Understand. Understand… dakara…” He still wouldn’t let go of Shizuo’s arm. “Motto… oshiete!” 

Shizuo groaned and messed his hair once again, but he didn’t get irritated this time. Izaya made it easy to understand him and that helped considerably. “Okay.” He nodded. “Let’s just start from the basics, alright? I. Am. Shizuo.” He pointed at himself. Then at Izaya, waiting.

“I am Izaya.” He responded quickly and impatiently. The most needed skill for manipulation was the eloquence of speech and his greatest weapon had turned out to be his most severe flaw. There was no time to lose. 

“Okay.” Shizuo nodded. “I am Shizuo. You are Izaya.”

“I am Izaya. You are Shizuo.” Izaya didn’t miss a step and replied almost instantly.

Shizuo frowned. “Right…” That was almost too quick. “Now…” He grabbed a cup and held it. “Cup.” He pointed at it. “Mine.” He said, as he held it tightly. Then he gave it to Izaya. “Yours.”

Izaya held it as well. “Cup… Mine? Mine.” He understood that it meant that the object belonged to him. He gave it back to Shizuo as well. “Yours.” 

They passed many hours with Shizuo trying to explain parts of the body and what they did, gathering up the most common and easy words he could think of. Izaya would pick them up instantly and there was no need for him to repeat or explain again the same word. Even so, it was near impossible to make themselves able to converse with each other that quickly. After some time, Izaya tried something. “Shizuo…”

“What?”

“You… me…” In his need to explain Izaya was making too many movements with his hands and it even irritated himself, so he took a deep breath and tried to settle. “Give to men?” 

“Eh? What do you mean?” Shizuo raised his eyebrow, but Izaya didn’t have a chance to rephrase it, as Kadota’s voice was heard from outside:

“Shizuo! I brought you the clothes you asked of me!” 

Both of them shot up and quickly stepped outside the tent, with Shizuo murmuring how quick that was. Kadota was there, holding a black piece of fabric with gray patterns, which Izaya recognized as a yukata, much like the one he was wearing the day before. Kadota smiled a bit and held it towards Izaya. “Here, for you.” 

“Thank you.” Izaya said and took it, bowing a bit to show his gratitude the way he knew. 

Kadota, on the other hand, was astonished. “Eh? It was nothing…” He then turned at Shizuo. “Seriously? That soon?” 

“That wasn’t anything difficult and besides, my method is perfect.” Shizuo bragged. “What? Did you have any doubts?” 

“Ah, look at how much the time has passed!” Kadota checked his watch and Izaya immediately spotted that weird device. “Sorry Shizuo! Duty is calling!” He turned on his heels and   
left without a care in the world. 

“Kadota, you bastard! You purposely did not answer just now, didn’t you?” Shizuo was ready to start swearing more, but Izaya surprisingly cut him off. 

“Kadota!” He called, and the other man turned and looked at him. Izaya gave him a small smile. “Hi, I am Izaya.” He wanted to add something akin to ‘pleased to meet you’ but he had no words for it. Kadota was an interesting individual. Izaya would like to think that he was not a bad one but he was definitely more shady and suspicious than Shizuo who showed who he was as brightly as the sun. Kadota would have a reason to come and be a part of this battalion, as well. But there is no point in playing to win if you don’t get to know your pieces. 

“Hi Izaya.” Kadota replied. “I’ll see you around.” He added and then simply walked away.

Shizuo and Izaya looked at each other. Then Izaya made the same movement that Kadota had done when he looked at his watch, tapping the top of his wrist. “What is?” He asked. 

“Oh, come on!” Shizuo rolled his eyes and dragged Izaya inside the tent again. Right then, that was too difficult to explain. Additionally, he needed to get him dressed.   
Black turned out to be a very fitting color for Izaya. This robe he was wearing also had a waistband of black and dark green color. Shizuo thought that he needed to teach him of the colors as well. He had let him keep the boxers underneath and he lent him his sandals, as he miserably realized that he had forgotten to ask Kadota for some shoes. 

“It looks good on you.” He said, averting his eyes. 

“Heeeh…” Izaya smirked. “What, Shizuo?” He asked, even though he fully knew what the other man had meant. He wished so badly that he knew the words to tease him more, but maybe it was better for his well being that he didn’t. 

Shizuo placed his hands on his waist and looked Izaya in the eye. “It’s good!” He openly declared. “Understand? God damn it!” 

Izaya was almost left gaping; he would if he wasn’t so used to maintaining a poker face. He was sure Shizuo would throw a fit and deny everything. Well, perhaps it was a bit early to read him after all. “Understand, understand.” 

“Well then, let’s go! We’ve got to eat!”

Izaya was already growing tired of Shizuo grabbing and dragging him anywhere he wanted from his upper arm, he was sure that he had gotten some new bruises, but Shizuo didn’t seem to drop the habit, as he grabbed him once again and guided him outside the tent. 

Being able to observe the camp and given the opportunity to stroll through it truly thrilled Izaya. It was a new world, perhaps, no, definitely, more technologically advanced than his, with new objects, new ways of human behavior and an entire different set of boundaries. Izaya smiled bitterly as the scent of fresh blood hit his nostrils, the only thing that had remained to remind of him of what happened the day before, and that those humans were more like animals when it counted. Many sets of eyes had turned and gotten glued at them as they were passing by, but that was only natural after all. Izaya was busy watching them and whatever they had in their hands, like many variations of the black sticks, culinary, utensils… He was also too busy watching them and hearing them speak as well. 

Shizuo let go of Izaya’s arm after a while and he just simply walked close enough by his side, watching him from the corner of his eye. That guy was bad news and he could tell by the way he was looking and analyzing everything around him. Normally, most people would be too afraid to even move after what happened to them, but he hardly seemed affected. Instead, if there was a word for it, he seemed excited. Well, he wasn’t normal. Neither was Shizuo, but… That guy hadn’t done anything and he was still rubbing Shizuo the wrong way. And that thought didn’t seem to leave his head. 

As he was wondering what they would eat today, trying to change his mindset, he heard the voice he despised the most. “Heeeey, Heiwajima, DARLING!” The mocking tone hit his ears like the last brand new missile. “What’s up with you? Finally decided to join our kind of men?” 

“Shaaaaazeeeeesh…” Shizuo growled, slowly turning around to face the man behind him. Izaya turned as well, and his blood froze for a moment, because he recognized the guy standing behind them, accompanied with half a dozen of his kind. He was the one who was raping and murdering in the most brutal way all the young girls from the cages the night before. It was an intimidating man, not very tall but not short by any means, pretty buffed up, with black hair till his jaw line and black, short cut beard. Izaya kept his ground next to Shizuo though and he didn’t step back to hide behind him. 

“Oh, come on Shizuo, we’re all in the same boat here aren’t we? But you know… he’s cute, but… a man? In his mid twenties, as well? Heck, Heiwajima, if you had wanted this kind of fuck, you could have gotten it on board! Now talk about some waste of time I mean!” 

Shazesh was the kind of man Shizuo was deliberately avoiding because otherwise he would have long ago killed him and that would be a major inconvenience for Tom. Now that it had come to this though, he was almost happy to get the chance to send him to the next dimension and even further if that was possible. But before that, he needed to establish something. 

“Waste of time, huh?” He said, as he took a couple of steps forward, cracking his knuckles and wearing his most sadistic grin. “You might be right, you know. He’s still mine, though. You know what that means? Eeh? Shaaaaazeeesh?”

“Stop, stop, now, let’s not get into a fight, you know?” The other guy put his hands up, in a stand of surrender, but he was still smirking. “Let’s talk about this like adults, okay?”  
“Adults? The fuck do you mean?” Shizuo spat out.

“You keep the ownership rights…” Shazesh shrugged. “And we will be just lending him from time to time! You know, just to see what’s so great about him that he moved even your dick!” 

Shizuo turned around like lightning, but one of Shazeshe’s men had already sneaked up behind Izaya and had grabbed him by the neck and twisting his left arm behind his back, rendering him unable to move. Normally, Izaya would have evaded the small fry like it was nothing, but he was sure of how he was supposed to react, plus he was wondering if it would be a bad timing for him to beat one of them into the ground. 

“Shazesh, he does smell good, you know!” The guy that caught Izaya said in a disgustingly nasal voice. Then, he turned and licked Izaya’s cheek, making his face contort in utter revulsion. “I can’t wait to jam it right into your sweet ass!” He said and thrust his hips, hitting with his waist Izaya’s backside, and making him feel his erection. 

Izaya was ready to teach him some really bitter lesson, and in no way ready to witness what he did. The transformation from a human to a beast, the moment what a person loses all logical thought and pure animal instincts take over, he thought that he saw it all the day before but the craziness caused by pure rage could not be compared with the craziness of lust. Maybe the results were the same but the power of the rage was so much fiercer, so much more undeniable, so much more purely absolute. It was even worse that yesterday. It was. 

Shizuo had come right in front of them in a flash of light. The speed with which he punched the other man, straight in the face, making him let go of Izaya instantly, was unparalleled. But he didn’t let him fly like the one yesterday. This time, the force nailed the man on the ground, and Shizuo jammed his foot right onto his stomach, pinning him down and making him cough up even more blood than he already was. His face had turned into a mash of broken bones, teeth were flying in every direction, his nose was destroyed beyond any repair and he was just sobbing there, unable to do anything else from the shock. And Shizuo didn’t stop there. 

“HE. IS. MINE!” He roared, now striking with his foot the other man’s shin, making it break with a sickening crack. “DID YOU HEAR ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS? HE’S MINE, MINE, MINE!” He continued roaring, breaking more bones with each ‘mine’. “AND WHOEVER TOUCHES HIM, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU! I’LL KILL YOU, I’LL KILL YOU, I’LL KILL YOU!” And he mercilessly kept striking down, each time harder than the last. 

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SOMEBODY STOP HIM!” A random voice was heard from around, and everything started moving again in a distinctive frenzy. Izaya watched like he was hypnotized Kadota and his friends, and even Shazesh, the only men brave enough, throwing themselves on Shizuo and trying to control him, as his victim quietly sobbed until he passed out from the pain. Judging from the state of his legs, even if he did survive the assault, he would never walk again. 

Control him? Seduce him? Whom, this beast? Izaya still remained bewitched at Shizuo’s sight, at that display of fury and strength, as even four men could not restrain him. Then he realized. 

Shizuo was not a human. He could not be categorized as any of Izaya’s beloved humans. He was a monster, more than anyone around there. He was a beast. 

HE’S MINE, MINE, MINE!

As screams were being heard all around and probably most of them were to call for the Commander, Izaya couldn’t contain his most wolfish grin ever, akin to baring one’s fangs. 

One that Shizuo never saw because he was too far lost in his wrath.


	5. Chapter 5

“WHY THE HELL DID YOU SNAP?”

Tom had spent the past half an hour going up and down inside his tent, scolding Shizuo ceaselessly. Izaya noticed that his tent was much bigger than the rest of theirs, thing that probably meant that he was the most important person there. He didn’t seem so, though, for he wasn’t imposing or severe at all. The only amazing thing about him was that when he talked, Shizuo listened. Izaya hadn’t forgotten how this person was actually the one who saved him, so he was definitely intrigued to observe him further. As time was passing, Tom was continuing the lecture and Shizuo was quietly listening to him, Izaya concluded that he might be the top in this camp, but he definitely was a very small part in the entire military structure. 

When Tom stopped to catch his breath, Shizuo started quietly: “He was trying to hurt him…” He slowly pointed at Izaya. 

“Yesterday you were about to throw a rock in the size of a building on him, did you forget that?” Tom turned and looked at him incredulously. “For God’s sake Shizuo, I only asked of you to keep him alive! Don’t do that at the expense of our own men!” 

“Well if I didn’t do that, they wouldn’t get it…” Shizuo murmured and looked away. “It’s not like he died, anyway…”

“He might not walk again, Shizuo! I’ll have to send him back!” Tom replied without missing a bit. “You cost us a soldier! What would you do if he had died? How should I have dealt with you then?”

“Well, humanity wouldn’t exactly lose anything valuable!” Shizuo snapped back, a sign that he was starting to lose his patience, even with Tom. “As long as I’m in charge of him, I’m not going to let them roam their hands or their dicks on him freely, and that’s because you, Commander, ordered me so!” Do you wish to take your order back? Was what was insinuated, when they both stopped talking and just stared at each other face to face. 

Tom sighed, defeated. Even if he did take his order back, he doubted that Shizuo would quietly obey, because that would mean that he had failed at his task. “I can’t let you just get away with this.” He finally said. “I’m going to write you up for an extended time of military service as a penalty for excessive display of self-defense during duty conduct.” Shizuo simply shrugged at the news. Like he cared about something like that. “And if you do it again, I’m going to have to send you back, where you’ll definitely be court-martialed and thrown to jail. You know that.” 

Now those news stung quite a bit. Shizuo gritted his teeth and cursed inwardly. He had been in that dangerous position many times before, but then, he could control it because it was always about himself. Now it was about someone else. He turned and glared at Izaya, who instinctively took a step back. He wouldn’t dare to make Shizuo snap just yet. 

“Behave yourself, he didn’t do anything.” Tom reminded him. 

“Yes, and I’m more afraid of the time that he will.” Shizuo commented, grunting. 

“Can he learn our language? What do you say?” Tom asked as he neared Izaya out of curiosity. Then Izaya took a step near Shizuo again, knowing that it might not be his safest choice, but without being able to help it. 

“Ah, no problem about that. He’s so smart it gets on my nerves. Cunning little bastard.” Shizuo informed him. “He knows stuff. But he can’t understand as yet.” 

“Well, he couldn’t, possibly.” Tom smiled and raised his hands, trying to show Izaya that he wouldn’t attempt to hurt him or touch him. “You sure talk bad about someone you almost became a murderer for.”

“I already am a murderer.” Shizuo stated the obvious. “Big deal.” Then his stomach reminded him of what he had previously set off to do. “Come on, let’s go.” He said and grabbed Izaya by his arm again, guiding him outside Tom’s tent. “We’re going to grab something to eat. Once again, thank you for your patronage, Commander Tom.”

“Please try to make me worry a little less, Shizuo…” Tom complained in vain, as both of them disappeared at the next corner. “What did I expect…” 

If people were outwardly staring at them before, now they were even more obvious in their attempt of avoiding them just as intensely. Shizuo of course didn’t give a damn about it, but Izaya was really bothered by the fact that they were hiding whatever they were holding, and even more bothered that they were stopping talking. Trying to learn from Shizuo was like trying to learn from a monk. They would teach you only what they thought you needed to know, meaning the bare minimum. The rest, you had to figure out yourself.

They didn’t even have to wait in the line that was formed in order to get food, everyone else just stepped aside. Shizuo just took a middle sized package from the trembling poor man distributing them, threw it on Izaya’s arms and then they left the place. Izaya was ready to complain, but Shizuo had left his arm this way, so he closed his mouth. He soon opened it again in awe though, as they reached a place where a huge, metallic caldron was towering above them. Inside the cauldron, Izaya could see that there was water boiling, but he could not see the flames, at least not the flames he knew. There was no wood, but on top of the metallic stand the caldron was seated upon, blue waves of flames were embracing the bottom of it sweetly. 

Shizuo noticed how Izaya had glued his eyes on the gas and the way it was heating up the water, and an alarm started going off in his head like crazy. He said nothing though, and he simply requested four buckets of warm water instead of two as he usually did. The person responsible was well informed already and he dared not to make a comment about it, as Shizuo carried hot water for two people like it was nothing. 

When they arrived at the tent, Shizuo would have preferred to eat first but the water would get cold and that was something that irritated him incredibly. “Hey!” He called at Izaya, as he was putting down the package as well. “Bath.” He told him, and then showed him the buckets and then the low barrel he had in his tent and Izaya had noticed before.   
Izaya didn’t quite understand what Shizuo was telling him, though he did have a pretty good idea about it, seeing Shizuo emptying one bucket in the barrel, and then reaching out for a weird bottle. He understood completely when Shizuo started stripping in front of him. 

Normally, he wouldn’t have minded one bit, his people were always taking baths together after all, that was a tradition, but he had been through some… circumstances, since the day before, that made him freeze at his spot. The irrational fear that Shizuo would come attacking him almost took over, in spite of his effort to remain composed. There was nowhere he could run or back away also. Seeing Shizuo taking his shirt off and revealing his well toned upper body, the kind of one that has been through many constant battles, was strangely intimidating, when it shouldn’t have any effect, being both men. 

Shizuo noticed that Izaya’s eyes were trying to hide intense fear, as he was about to get rid of his pants and underwear as well. “I’m not going to hurt you.” He said again, and Izaya must have remembered that he had said something like that the day before, because it seemed like he loosened up a bit. “We’re just going to take a bath.” He said, and showed him the barrel again. “I’m going in first, and I’ll be quick, because your water will get cold.” He nonchalantly said, and then pulled his pants down, leaving himself completely naked. 

If Izaya had tensed up before, now he was left completely petrified. Even though he was never the type to measure somebody’s manliness by the size of his genitals, he thought that he himself was hung pretty well, above average yes, but definitely inside normal boundaries. Now, seeing Shizuo, he would have to rethink of that. Shizuo wasn’t simply huge, he was enormous, and Izaya found himself still looking for a part of him that wasn’t like a monster’s. He wondered if he looked so big now, what would he look like with an erection. If he got raped by that… 

His knees suddenly felt weak and he would have fallen down if it wasn’t for his pride. The thought of Shizuo’s dick going in and out inside of him was so terrifying that he couldn’t even comprehend it. First of all, it wouldn’t fit. And if it didn’t, Shizuo would get angry. And if he got angry, he would definitely try to force his way through, and if he did that… 

Izaya vowed to himself to never make Shizuo angry. It was just a momentary decision and of course it wouldn’t last past their first bathing time, but still, Izaya thought that if Shizuo ever decided to do that to him, Izaya wouldn’t dare to protest, and that he would do everything in his power to prevent him from going up his ass, or at the very least, be extremely obedient, thus making so that it wouldn’t hurt. Of course that would be next to impossible. 

Shizuo had remained absolutely oblivious to Izaya’s inner torture, paying no attention to him as he stepped inside the barrel and enjoyed thoroughly the warmth of the water, as he sat at the bottom of it. In the sitting position, the water was reaching only up to his waist but that was pretty satisfying as it was. He threw some more water from the other bucket on top of his head, making his upper body just as wet, and then he grabbed the shampoo bottle, squeezing some in his hand, and then bringing it up his hair and starting scrubbing, making the usual foam appear.

Izaya’s curiosity about the bottle and the foam made it easier for him to overcome his illogical fear and very slowly and carefully, he approached the barrel, and consequently, Shizuo. Shizuo saw him nearing and guessed what he was after, so he poured some more shampoo on his hand and then he gave him the bottle. “Shampoo.” He just said.   
Izaya took the bottle and observed it, held it upside down and tapped at it, giving Shizuo time to wash and scrub the rest of his body. Then he just used the water in his second bucket to rinse himself off the foam. As he stepped outside the barrel, he saw Izaya stealing glances at him but it didn’t bother him. He just bent and fished a towel from inside one of his bags and wiped the water off of his body with it, and the tied it around his waist. 

“Shizuo-san wa… ii otoko desu ne.” Izaya finally said, his eyes gleaming dangerously and perhaps a bit playfully, every sign of fear now gone. 

“Huh? I don’t understand shit about what you just said.” Shizuo just shrugged off Izaya’s comment. It might as well have been an insult; Shizuo didn’t know and didn’t care at this point. He probably wouldn’t care even if he knew for a fact that Izaya had just called him a handsome guy. As for Izaya, he would never admit out loud that such a simple act, as Shizuo giving him the bottle, had brought back everything at their usual pace and bathing had just returned to being a normal activity. Plus, a big dick didn’t seem to be this frightening after all. 

“Shizu-chan.”

“Haah? What was that supposed to be now?” Shizuo turned, annoyed. “My name?”

“Yes.” Izaya said, and walked up to Shizuo, so close that Shizuo’s bare chest and his were almost touching. “Shizu-chan.” He almost whispered in a deep, seductive voice, locking eyes with Shizuo, their faces so close that Shizuo could feel Izaya’s breath on his lips. Izaya’s eyes seemed so magnetizing and powerful, and absolutely beautiful, that for a moment, Shizuo thought that they gleamed red. 

That was the first time Izaya made him shiver right through his core. All Shizuo could think about was how dangerous that guy was, without being able to stop the tickling sensation in his abdomen. He didn’t know if this was a declaration of war or a seduction attempt, or maybe both, but whichever it was, it seemed perilous enough, because it was downright exciting. 

“Cut it out!” He finally said, pushing abruptly Izaya behind with his right arm, dissolving effectively the atmosphere. “And stop calling me that! I don’t fucking like it!” He barked. He really didn’t like the sound of the nickname but he was actually thankful for it, because if Izaya had used his actual name, he honestly didn’t know what he might have ended up doing. So he just turned and emptied the water he had used back at the buckets it had come from, using the two remaining ones, with clean water, for Izaya. 

Izaya, on the other hand, was then almost purely convinced that Shizuo wouldn’t be the type to stick his dick into him. Well, unless maybe he was provoked so. Izaya was curious to see at what extent he could pull his strings to have Shizuo make a move on him, but even he knew better than that. Setting the matter about dick sizes aside, Shizuo’s strength was far more intimidating. In addition, being so interested in Shizuo had started to become annoying even for himself. After all, one of Izaya’s principles was to never let himself depend completely on someone else, a principle that need made him step upon so many times these two days. 

He casually undid the belt of his yukata, and let it slide down his body, pooling down at his ankles. He then removed the underwear Shizuo had given him and he was left completely naked. That didn’t elicit the smallest reaction out of Shizuo. Well of course, he had seen him well enough yesterday, Izaya thought bitterly, as he stepped inside the barrel. He repeated all the moves he had seen Shizuo doing, as the latest one was dressing up with some clean clothes.

“I’m going to tell Kadota to get you another one so you can change when you need to.” Shizuo said when he finished dressing up, pointing at Izaya’s yukata, and then gathering up the underwear and placing new ones on top of it. From all these words, Izaya understood only ‘Kadota’ and ‘tell’, but that was enough. 

He would have played with the foam a bit longer, if the water hadn’t started to grow cold. He stepped outside the barrel the same moment Shizuo was done rubbing his hair with his towel, trying to dry it up. Shizuo saw him from the corner of his eye and just handed him another towel. By the time Izaya was all dressed up, dry and clean again, he noticed that there was lesser light around them and that meant that the sun had probably started to set. Then he realized how he had completely lost the sense of time. He had probably slept much longer than he used to, and now his stomach had started to growl. 

Shizuo was one step ahead of him, already undoing the package they had gotten. He took from inside a big piece of meat, and something else that looked like a big, brown, round shaped object, maybe some kind of …food? Izaya just assumed that it was food. There was no rice. 

“I bet they got plenty of vegetables yesterday and today, but they will probably start giving them away by tomorrow.” Shizuo said as he took his knife out of his pocket and started cutting the meat in pieces. “For now, try to bear with this.” He said, and then he proceeded cutting the bread as well. If he was on his own he would have eaten it as it was, he would have only gotten half of it after all. 

Izaya was just sitting there, eyeing the food and saying nothing. He remembered what he had thought when he first saw them attacking the village. That they were monsters and that they would eat them. The thought came back at him at full force, leaving him to wonder if that was human meat. As for the other kind of food, he had never seen it before. He was mostly fixated stealing glances at Shizuo’s knife and wondering if he could steal it at any given time. 

Shizuo noticed the other man’s hesitation. “Meat.” He said, touching it as well. “Bread.” He added, moving his hand upon it that time. “Eat. It’s good.” He said, and then grabbed a piece of the meat and took a big bite.

“Meat…” Izaya took a deep breath, watching Shizuo chewing it. “What meat?”

“What do you mean ‘what meat’?” Shizuo retorted, annoyed. “Ah, you mean what kind of meat? Hmm…” He was unsure of how to say it to him, but there was no other way around it. It was just smoked pork. “Oink, oink!” 

Izaya burst in an uncontrollable laughter and Shizuo instinctively swung a fist at him, which Izaya just as instinctively avoided at ease. “Okay, okay, understand!” Izaya raised his arms up, and tried to control his laughter. “Sorry. You are good, Shizu-chan.” 

“Cut it the fuck out with that fucking nickname and you’re not sorry at all!” Shizuo barked, but Izaya just ignored him and took a bite out of the meat. It was extremely delicious. The taste was indeed foreign, something he had never tried before, but it was so tasty that he quickly forgot all kinds of prejudice. He also tried that ‘bread’ and that was delicious too. He assumed that it was their version for rice; the taste was kind of similar. 

After they finished eating, Shizuo took the buckets and guided Izaya just outside the camp, emptying the water they had used for their bath there. It was common for all of the soldiers to use the surrounding area for when the nature was calling them too, thing that both of them practiced as well. 

Being almost outside the camp, Izaya couldn’t stop thinking what were the probabilities of making it out of there alive, if he stole Shizuo’s knife, cut his neck and then made a run for it, blindly into the woods. Next to zero, he finally decided, but that might change if he planned it more carefully from the next time. Furthermore, it would really be a waste if he left without learning what this new world had to teach him. An unforgivable waste. Even so, he wasn’t willing to chase after it if he had to pay for it with his life, or his pride. 

By the time he returned in the tent with Shizuo, he had decided that he would remain there a bit longer, but not without planning his escape route first. And for him to feel safer, he would need something.

He tapped Shizuo’s shoulder. “Huh? What?” He turned.

“Teach me.” Izaya requested of him. His weapons were his knives and his words. He would acquire the knife when Shizuo would fall asleep, but he needed the words now.

“I will, geez!” He nodded and sat down on the bed sheets. “Are you that impatient? Well…” He scanned Izaya’s serious face. “Of course you would be…” He vaguely thought that maybe a serious face didn’t fit Izaya that much. A mocking smile would be more charming, perhaps… and definitely more annoying! He gritted his teeth at the thought, but started explaining nonetheless. 

They stayed up until much later, having an unorthodox lesson. Shizuo didn’t have any problems touching Izaya if he needed to explain something, but Izaya had. That’s why when Shizuo was trying to explain to him the difference between the mouth and the lips, he gently took Shizuo’s hand and put it aside. “On you.” He said.

“Ah. Sorry.” Shizuo scratched his head. How could this damn monster appear cute, was beyond Izaya. But he did. Didn’t he understand that Izaya was his to do as he pleased? Even Izaya understood that much. He could do whatever he wanted; he didn’t have to take orders from Izaya about such strange things as personal space, something like that had long ago stopped existing between them. Yet Shizuo obeyed and looked apologetic when Izaya told him to remove his hand. How… weirdly naïve. Izaya offered him that sly smile again. Shizuo glared, but he continued anyway. 

The pace at which Izaya was learning was indeed tremendous and even Shizuo was stunned. It was almost out of his world, scary. When he was in school, Shizuo would get scolded and punished all the time because there were so many difficult meanings and things he couldn’t understand, and that irritated him. Once, he had thrown a desk out of the window. Okay, maybe twice. Okay, maybe thrice. But only once with the teacher sitting on it. 

Unlike him, the complete opposite, was Izaya, who was absorbing the new words in an amazing rhythm. When Shizuo decided to call it enough for the day, Izaya was able to synthesize sentences.

“Shizu-chan is…”

“ShizuO!” He corrected him, but Izaya downright ignored him. 

“…is tall… is strong… has blond hair… gets angry…”

“If you keep it up, I definitely will.” Shizuo warned him with a growl. 

“And…” Izaya’s eyes sparked dangerously, as he smiled evilly. “He doesn’t like me. That’s bad.” 

“Damn right I don’t!” Shizuo confirmed. He had lit up a cigarette in the meanwhile, and he exhaled the smoke gaudily after that last sentence. “I only put up with you and don’t bash your head into the ground because I was ordered to keep your measly life safe. But if you try anything funny, I’ll break you on the spot.”

“Shizu-chan… will break me?” Izaya repeated. It was actually the only part of what Shizuo said that he had understood. “How?” He asked, leaning playfully his head over his left shoulder. 

Instead of talking, Shizuo took a straight, long and thin object like a stick from inside his bag, grabbed it from the edges and snapped it in half. 

“Understand. Understand very well.” Izaya replied, making a dark face and dropping the seductive act. Teasing Shizuo always seemed to backfire. That was making him hate him all the more. “I do not make Shizu-chan angry. Okay?” 

“No, that’s impossible.” Shizuo shot that down, making a deadpan expression. “I get angry just by looking at your face.” 

Izaya sighed. He still couldn’t get anywhere with him. There were plenty of reasons why Shizuo didn’t like him, and there were even more reasons why Izaya hated him, more than he could actually count. That’s why he was completely taken aback when Shizuo leaned closer, wrapped his arm around his waist, and took him down with him, lying on the bed sheets, Izaya on his back and Shizuo face down above him. 

“What… no, NO!” Izaya yelled out, panic clouding his mind, making desperate attempts at pushing the other man away, but to no avail. “No, Shizuo, no!”

“Now I’m Shizuo again, huh? Be quiet you dumbass!” Shizuo chastised him. “We’re just going to sleep! Sleep!” 

Izaya halted his hasty movements. “S…leep?” He uttered. 

“Yes, damn it, sleep! Damn you…” Shizuo grumbled, leaning towards Izaya’s left side and letting himself lie there next to him, without removing the hand from the other’s waist though. Then he used his other hand to grab the sheets and use them to cover both of their bodies. 

Even though they were so close, the sheets were barely covering them. “Those…” Shizuo pointed at the sheets. “Were for one person. Now we are two. We must be close, or it will be cold.” He explained in the simplest words he could use. “Understand?” Of course, that wasn’t the only reason he had grabbed him like that. He wanted to make sure that Izaya wouldn’t try to escape at night, and he didn’t want to bother tying him up. If he really was as smart as he seemed, he wouldn’t attempt something like that, but just to be sure, he was holding him tightly from his waist. That way, Izaya couldn’t go anywhere without waking him up. 

He felt Izaya relaxing in his hands and he deduced that Izaya had, once again, understood. He made himself comfortable next to the other guy, and soon enough, sleep came over him. 

Izaya remained awake for a long time after Shizuo had fallen asleep, thinking of many things, but mostly about how violently Shizuo had beaten up that guy from before. He was locked in those very arms right then, in a downright deadly embrace and there was no escape from it. 

Well unless he worked his way from inside out. That wouldn’t work on Shizuo, but it would definitely work on someone else.

Anybody would do.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

There are a lot of things someone can learn during the course of one month. A tenfold of valuable life lessons he could experience. And Izaya had indeed learned some of these. He was proud for some of them, but not so proud for some others. 

Lesson number one: Don’t anger Shizuo. Never, ever, ever anger Shizuo, under any circumstances. One small tent’s width wasn’t enough to keep avoiding Shizuo’s bat-like punches. Even if he did manage to avoid the first one, that would only serve to anger Shizuo more, and the next one would be even more ferocious. There was a couple of times he thought his arm had been broken, and once, when he slipped and fell down, Shizuo missed and opened a small crater next to Izaya’s head, from the force of his punch’s strike. Izaya had been so scared that it actually showed on his face and Shizuo had bitterly regretted it, thing that pissed him off even more. And the things they fought about were only trivial, nothing even Izaya could easily predict. He had learned to swallow his pride many times, and each time had a worse taste than the one before. 

Lesson number two: The surprises are endless. This new world was so full of unpredictable things, that the moment he would discover something new, his curiosity would blind him so much, making him look like an ignorant child. He learned how guns worked, he learned how the food was cooked and how the water could get so warm, he learned why their clothes were the way they were. He learned that even the smallest things can hold tremendous power. He knew that from before, but now it was taken up on a whole new level.

Lesson number three: Being an outcast. He never was one before, he always knew how to accommodate and blend with his surroundings, but now, with his looks and clothes, he was sticking out like a sore thumb. However, that seemed to prove in itself a valuable experience, because now he could differentiate between more and less cruel people from a totally alternate point of view. There were a total of almost 500 people in the camp, and Izaya wished to examine each and every one, and he did start practicing so, as silently as he possibly could. Many of them were plenty interesting.

But no one was like Shizuo.

First of all, nobody else had his immense and inhuman strength. As Izaya thought, Shizuo was probably the only one in the world with that destructive power. But he was more different than the rest than in just that. He was straightforward, he never lied, he got angry easily and though he wasn’t the sharpest flower of the bunch, his eyes could see right through the person in front of him, almost like instinct. His other senses were also heightened, especially his smell. Every time he would take Izaya in his arms at night and bury his face in his hair, he would grudgingly complain that he stunk, even though most of the times they would have had just previously bathed. Izaya deduced that Shizuo just hated the smell of his body, and every step along the way was reminding him more and more of a beast. 

Izaya had come to know a lot of people, but he was closer to Commander Tom and Kadota and his gang than anyone else. Besides them, he would rarely speak to someone else, and if he did, he would use very few and simple words. When he finally learned the purpose of why he was being held and not killed there, by Tom, he was more than glad. So Shizuo was truly his guard dog, but for a different reason than what he had imagined at first. Still, he understood very well that Shizuo had the most power to do as he pleased with him than anyone. 

As for Kadota, he was a good person at heart, even through his unscrupulous tactics, and about them, so far Izaya only knew that Yumasaki had a girlfriend in his home country, a girl named Erika. Sometimes Kadota would stay and speak with Izaya, but never for too long. Maybe he was sharper than anyone in there. 

Everybody was pretty much organized in cliques, but most of them were more mal natured than the others. Shazesh and his gang weren’t the only demons waltzing around. The majority of the troop was just like them, making it needlessly difficult for Izaya to explore them in depth, if he was to sum them up. He could almost feel their eyes on him every time he dared to step out of the tent, but not even a fly dared to touch him, after having witnessed Shizuo’s wrath. Even those who weren’t in front of the scene had seen the battered body of that soldier Shizuo had beaten up, which was hanging onto life by a miserable single thread. Izaya knew that this had probably earned Shizuo many enemies, but Shizuo himself didn’t seem to bother.

Those were his thoughts as he was crossing the camp alone, in order to take a newly grinded battle knife to Shizuo, as he was asked to do. He had walked around the camp many times by his own, and even though he didn’t like the eyes staring at his every movement, it wasn’t something he would be fazed about. 

“You need to worry.” He told Shizuo, as soon as he stepped inside the tent. He had just caught the other changing shirts.

“Why? You gonna kill me?” Shizuo scoffed, and chuckled ironically. Izaya had to bite his lip so hard to hold back the retort that he almost tore at it. His hands, holding the knife, were literally itching at him as he clutched at it unbelievably tightly. 

“Me, no. Your partners, yes.” He said, as he handed the knife over, albeit reluctantly. “Their eyes are strong.”

“I’m going to cough them out for them then.” Shizuo growled and snatched the knife with a swift movement. “Cut their hands and their dicks as well while I’m at it.” 

“All that about me? I’m so happy.” Izaya’s voice was dripping with heavy sarcasm, just like his smile of a hyena. “Shizu-chan wants to protect me so much… It’s so…” 

“Fuck you.” Shizuo glared at him, as he shoved the knife into one of his leather bundles and threw it over his shoulder.

“You never do.” Izaya replied, folding his arms around his chest and tilting his head slightly at the side.

Shizuo glared at him for some more moments but he didn’t respond, because he didn’t feel like taking Izaya’s provocation anymore. “I’m going out on an expedition today. Don’t leave the tent.”

“Oh… I see.” Izaya lowered his eyes. “I see…” He just repeated, having focused his stare somewhere down on the ground. Shizuo just passed him by, ready to step outside. Then he stopped for some moments, making them stand almost back to back.

“You’ll be fine of you don’t leave the tent.” 

“Uh-huh… yeah…” Izaya simply replied. 

“I’ll be back.” Shizuo just said and stepped out, leaving Izaya alone. 

It would be a lie if he said that he wasn’t worried. It was the first time he would leave Izaya all alone, and he didn’t even know for how much time. Thus, making it the first time he couldn’t wait for the moment that another ridiculous massacre would be over so he could rush right back in the camp. Although he was positive that no one would dare to touch Izaya and that they would have many other things to keep them occupied, he still wasn’t one hundred per cent sure. And there was also… the psychological effect…

He tried to light up a cigarette in order to calm his nerves down, but the lighter, much to his dismay, was already out of gas. He had the small suspicion that meeting Izaya made him want to smoke much more often than before. Outside the tent. Izaya couldn’t stand the smell inside the tent. 

A couple of passerby soldiers watched in horror as Shizuo crashed the cigarette with his right hand and then stomped the lighter down with his left foot. The battle hadn’t even started and Shizuo was already in a foul mood. That was never a good sign… for either side. 

Izaya planned to do exactly as Shizuo instructed him, but he knew much better than Shizuo how things worked in every human society, small or big. He had also noticed that every time the soldiers were going on an expedition, a quarter of them stayed behind. Shizuo had stayed behind a couple of times since the month before, in order to stay with Izaya, but Izaya guessed that he was unable to postpone it anymore. And even the screams at night every time after an expedition didn’t mean much if Shizuo was by his side. Only that those were the only nights Izaya would turn around and return Shizuo’s hug until they would fall asleep. 

But now Shizuo wasn’t around and Izaya was left without his last resort. Well… the next to last resort. Because he had already noticed and counted who stayed behind and who left each time. 

So what happened about an hour after the main part of the platoon left wasn’t something he was actually surprised about. 

“Heeeey…! Shizuo’s exclusive sweetie pie…!” 

Izaya turned around to see the person he already expected. He was sure that Shazesh would purposely stay behind this time. And he was of course right, as he came face to face with the intimidating black haired man, who had just shamelessly stepped foot inside Shizuo’s tent. Behind him he could see other figures of men and he could also hear their chuckling. He sighed. 

“Could I help you with something?” He said, absolutely perfectly in their language, both in his grammar and accent. 

Shazesh froze on his tracks, his lewd smile turning into an ugly grimace for some moments. But he quickly got over the shock. “Yeah, you see… I have a really… hard problem that I need you to take care of!” Laughter erupted from all those thugs behind him. 

“Seriously? That’s your line?” Izaya chuckled on his own, as he folded his arms across his chest. “Oh come on. You could do better than that!” 

He heard murmuring outside the tent, and he was certain that they were commenting how good he was at speaking their language. He never spoke much exactly because he wanted to keep the element of surprise as his weapon, and it was slowly working. He never even spoke in a complicated way even in front of Shizuo, but he was sure Shizuo knew already. 

“Well, I don’t actually have to, you little shit, do I?” Shazesh maintained his smile but his face darkened considerably. 

Izaya would have liked to tease him some more but he had neither the time nor the space to deal with the consequences. “No… you don’t.” He said, seriously this time, unfolding his arms. “You see… all I want is to stay alive. If some suicidal bastards come on to me I have no intent to stop them at the cost of my own life.” 

“You’ll lose your life anyway, you arrogant piece of fuck!” Shazesh’s smile had now completely turned into a snarl, as he stepped over and came within a breath’s distance away from Izaya. “I’m going to crush your neck after I’m finished with you, and then I’m going to drop you right on that bastard Heiwajima’s feet, so that he would know, after I break his valuable possession, that he ain’t going around fucking messing with my fucking men! GOT IT?” 

It wasn’t the first time that Izaya was hearing Shizuo’s last name, but it always surprised him, about the meaning it held in his own language. Quiet man on a peaceful island. What an irony. “Well then, that makes us, future dead men, at least two now, doesn’t it? And more. Let me see.” He said casually, as he walked slowly around Shazesh and pretended to count how many men were outside. “One, two, three…”

“YOU FUCKING-“ Shazesh shot his hand to catch Izaya from the front side of his robes, but Izaya easily jumped on the side and avoided it.

“Shizuo isn’t going to forgive you. Not because he likes me, mind you.” Izaya kept on talking. “Because he really, really hates it when other people steal away his things, or mess with his stuff.” He reminded him. “What would be left of you to do then?”

“Of course we’re going to teach him a lesson!” Shazesh said, starting to regain his composure. This was weird, he didn’t usually lose it. 

“Oh? Is that so?” It could be amazing just how much fear Shizuo’s existence could inspire. “So, you’re telling me that you’re going to try and teach Shizuo Heiwajima a lesson, a Shizuo coming out of the battlefield, pissed off to the outmost extent, with weapons and comrades near him, and then you’re going to piss him off some more by destroying something of his. Is that what you’re saying?” 

Shazesh laughed a bit. “When the fuck did you learn to speak like that…” He shook his head in amusement. “But no matter what you say, cutie, I’m going to stick it into you today. Because I feel like it.” He said, looking at Izaya straight in the eyes again. 

“That’s weird. I always knew that in battles, you first kill the enemy, and then you enjoy the trophy.” Izaya pointed out. “Doing it backwards, I didn’t know that I, a guy in his mid twenties, was so irresistible…!” 

“What do you want to say?” Shazesh suddenly got all serious. He had caught up to what Izaya had implied. 

“That this lose-lose situation doesn’t benefit either of us.” Izaya’s eyes shone. “How would you like to turn this around?” 

“…What do you mean?” Shazesh was intrigued and he didn’t know when something started burning inside of him. Looking at Izaya’s full of fire eyes just gave him that feeling. Something like that he now had some hope he didn’t have before. Another way nobody had thought about, something that no one else could make it reality. 

“I told you already my motive. I want to live. And I know your motive. You want to get revenge on Heiwajima Shizuo. If you kill me or violate me now, we both die. But…” He paused, making sure Shazesh was clinging on what he had to say for dear life. “…if you bring me Shizuo’s head in a silver platter, then you’ll have earned everything you wanted! Revenge for your comrade, satisfaction for yourself, and even me if you’d still like to do so!” Izaya started walking up and down, hands in the air, with a thrilling aura surrounding him. “Imagine that! ‘The Man who Beat the Monster’! Who’s going to deny that Shazesh is the Boss then?”

“Killing Heiwajima Shizuo…” Shazesh repeated. It would be a lie if he said that he had never thought about that, but he had always quickly dismissed the thought because it sounded too dangerous, for him and for his men. But now, with the way Izaya was talking, it made him think that it was actually possible. He did want it after all, didn’t he? “But… that’s difficult…”

“If it was easy, somebody might have already done it so far!” Izaya reminded him. “And that’s what’s going to make you, all the more important. Someone who killed the guy nobody else could. Someone special. A charismatic, absolute leader!”

“Yeah, but…” Shazesh still had his doubts, but Izaya’s words were really starting to get to him. “What’s up for you if I really were to do that?” 

“What’s up for me? Don’t be ridiculous. Everything.” Izaya stopped walking up and down and lowered his arms, his back turned at Shazesh. “I want to live, and I don’t think I’ll last for too long if I keep being near Shizuo.” He then turned and looked at the other man, with an unreadable expression on his face. “Think about it. How much does it take for Shizuo to lose it? How quickly or hard does he strike if he does? Do you now have any idea how closely I have avoided death so far?” 

“I bet he’s pretty rough on you in bed too.” That lewd smile made an appearance again on Shazesh’s face, this time from ear to ear. “Not that I wouldn’t like to do that too…!” 

Izaya smirked. “He hasn’t touched me yet.” He said, enjoying the other man’s disbelieving expression. “I think he’s waiting for something.” That was a borderline lie of course, but it always worked. Izaya loved these. “If you hurry up and kill him quickly, you can even get me as a virgin… well, if you will still be interested in someone like me, of course.”

“You say that you have better chances surviving in my lair than in Shizuo’s?” Shazesh’s smile was growing even wider if that was possible. “You know, I’m a generous guy. I’m not like Shizuo… I like to… you know, share!” He tilted his head and showed Izaya outside, and the men waiting there. 

“So, you’re saying that I don’t?” 

“Nah, don’t worry.” Shazesh threw his hand down, like dismissing the thought. “We’re not like Heiwajima. We’re civilized! Even if we… you know, share a bit, we won’t kill you. You have my word about that!”

Izaya wanted to ask Shazesh if he had forgotten where exactly Izaya had come from and what he had exactly seen that night in the cages, including Shazesh and his men murdering with the worst ways possible poor teenage girls, but now wasn’t the time for it. He had one last push to make. “Do whatever you like, but please don’t go attacking Shizuo head to head like barbarians. That would definitely lower my chances of survival.” 

“Don’t worry honey.” Much to Izaya’s displeasure, Shazesh had started again calling him sweet names, but that was a sign he was in a good mood again. “We’re going to make all the necessary preparations before we strike. And you…” He finally got close to Izaya, as he had wanted to do so from the start. “…you’re going to help us. Are you not?” He said, and then cupped Izaya’s cheek with his right hand. 

It was extremely difficult for Izaya to hide his disgust and repulsion, but he somehow managed, by swallowing hard the lump that had formed in his throat. “That goes without saying. Any kind of information you may require.” 

“That’s my boy.”Shazesh bent to kiss Izaya’s cheek but Izaya stepped behind, putting his index finger upon the other guy’s lips. 

“The reward is for after you kill the Monster.” He whispered, in a kind of sensual way. That made Shazesh’s pants tightened up immediately, and he offered Izaya a half smile before turning around quickly and stepping outside of the tent, because otherwise he would have felt the need to bang the bastard right there, and their great plan would be ruined. Izaya could hear him talking with his men, and their half-hearted protests as their footsteps started fading away. 

He waited for a good whole minute after the footsteps had slowly disappeared, and then he slowly sprawled himself on the sheets of his and Shizuo’s makeshift bed. He was trembling slightly, just like the first night Shizuo had taken him in. But the fact that the sheets were full of Shizuo’s smell calmed him down quite quickly. Soon, he had regained his usual calmness.

“Wow. Somehow, I was saved…!” He said loudly but in his own language. “Sorry, Shizu-chan!” He giggled, thing that indicated that he wasn’t sorry at all. “You won’t die that easily after all, right?” He took a good sniff out of the sheets for one more time. “But…” He said, slowly putting the sheet down. “Maybe it would be better if you actually did die, you know…” 

It was amazing, he thought, once again. No matter how much everyone hated, feared and despised Shizuo, nobody had actually thought seriously of killing him, even though it could be as simple as a bullet in the head, or a slash in the neck… well, could it? Maybe they were thinking that Shizuo’s head was so hard that the bullet would bounce off, or that the knife would break on his neck. Humans do have the tendency to exaggerate, after all, especially when they see something out of the ordinary, but Izaya knew exactly how tender Shizuo’s neck was. And he would have buried his knife into it long ago if it wasn’t for Shazesh and bastards of his kind surrounding him. Not that he could avoid them for long, after today.

No matter how badly they would fight with Shizuo, he had never outwardly humiliated him, or even tried to. He might have grabbed his hair a couple of times, but only when Izaya would deliberately provoke him, to see how far he would go. He had never forced him to kneel, he had never slapped him, and he had never pulled at his clothes. So far, that was, but Izaya was sure that this just wasn’t Shizuo’s style. If Shizuo got angry, he would just punch his opponent. Tactics like humiliating the other to prove his own superiority, Shizuo simply wouldn’t practice. 

For a reason, that made Izaya hate him even more. 

As for Shizuo himself, so far he was forced to deal with many unpleasant things all at once. Seeing a village burning and innocent people killed in front of his eyes was never his favorite part of the day, but now there was something inside him that made him feel restless and anxious and it just wouldn’t go away. In every step he thought he was seeing Izaya getting killed, when he knew very well that he was still in the camp. 

“SHIT!” He finally roared and started destroying everything in his path. Why did he have to worry about that fucking insect, whose only purpose in life seemed to be to irritate and make fun out of him? It was so annoying, annoying, ANNOYING! He inwardly screamed, as he was punching through some walls. 

When he got back in the end, he was a wreck. When Izaya saw him stepping inside the tent, he couldn’t help but wonder if Shazesh would have had actually stood a chance against him. Shizuo had his clothes almost tattered, and he was from head to toes covered with mud, dust and what Izaya guessed would be human blood. And also…

“Why are you covered in black dust?” He asked him. 

Shizuo just stayed there for some seconds, staring at Izaya, analyzing if something, even a single hair from his head, was out of place. When he deduced that it was not, he sighed and replied: “Um… I might have accidently… stepped inside a fire or something...”

“Are you an idiot?” Izaya said, exasperated, holding his head with the palm of his hand. 

“Would you like this idiot to kill you now?” Shizuo growled. 

“No, please spare me if you could.” Izaya said indifferently. “This poor housewife of yours was even looking ahead for you and went and took some water earlier…” He said, pointing at two buckets near the barrel. “…if of course, your Excellency would compromise with a cold bath.” When Shizuo was ready to open his mouth and swear at him, Izaya cut him short: “Which I’d strongly advise that you should.” 

“You are no housewife.” Shizuo mumbled in irritation but started taking his clothes of nonetheless. He knew exactly why the water was cold. 

“Of course not. You fuck that.” 

“Would you fucking stop that?” Shizuo barked at him, while stepping inside the barrel, and flinching at the cold water. “Why do you keep saying that? Do you want me to fuck you that badly?” 

“Who knows!” Izaya chirped and dumped more cold water on Shizuo, wetting his hair, and enjoying the shiver that it caused the other man, so strong that it was visible. Then he proceeded to take some shampoo in his hand, kneel behind the other man and then apply it on his hair, massaging his head to make the foam. “If I said I did, what would you do?”

“I’d say you lied.” Shizuo pointed out, making Izaya laugh a bit. “What’s wrong?” 

Izaya froze for some seconds, but then he continued like before. “What do you mean?” 

“You’ve never before washed my head…”

“You’re tired, you came for battle. I just want to make sure you’re spotless before you come to sleep next to me.” 

“Are you saying that I can’t even wash myself, you bastard?” Something inside Shizuo snapped. He would lash out at the next given chance. 

“All I’m saying is you’re tired.” Izaya said so softly, that Shizuo’s anger swiftly evaporated. “That’s all. That’s all I’m saying…” 

Shizuo turned to face him. “What’s wrong Izaya?” 

“Nothing is wrong.” Izaya gave him a little reassuring smile, and after some moments, Shizuo turned again to face forward, like before. 

They spent a couple of minutes in silence, before Shizuo spoke again. “Did anything happen while I was gone?” 

“Nope. Not a thing.” Izaya chirped again. 

Shizuo was ready to tell him in his face that he didn’t believe him, but even he had some sense of tact left. Izaya looked just like he did when he left him, and he smelled just like it as well. Shizuo was certain that nobody had touched him but still, the uneasiness wouldn’t go away. 

He still wouldn’t let go of the feeling that something was wrong, even when they went to bed and Izaya buried himself inside of Shizuo’s arms, without complaints. The screams from outside could be clearly heard by now, even though they were far away this time. Shizuo knew that this change he was feeling had something to do with that night being what it was, but something, telling him that this wasn’t all, still bugged him. 

In the end, they fell asleep like this, just like in any other usual night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, so many comments and kudos and I'm so absolutely happy!! I started this story on a whim and now I'm really grateful and thrilled that there has been such a wonderful response for it! To answer one of my lovely reviewer's question, there are currently no other stories I have worked on, but I hope there will be in the future. Even though I have no idea how many chapters this story will turn out to be, I can definitely say that we're only just starting. I wish you would continue to support me with your wonderful comments and I hope I will be able to provide you with a nice reading experience about our favorite characters! Love you all!

“HEY!” Shizuo yelled, already irritated, going through his stuff. “Shit! We’re out of drinkable water!”

“Well then, go and get some.” Izaya simply retorted, as he was sitting down unpacking their usual food portion, coming face to face with meat yet again for a hundredth time. Shizuo’s people surely loved meat… and had lots of it.

“Oh, fuck it! It’s too much trouble!” Shizuo exclaimed, as he settled himself noisily down next to Izaya, ready to have his lunch. 

Izaya just kept watching him. “You know we’ll get thirsty later, right?”

Shizuo shrugged. “You go. I spent the entire day cutting down trees…”

“…ripping trees right off their roots you mean…” Izaya corrected him.

“Same result.”

“Oh, right.” 

“Anyways!” Shizuo decided to ignore Izaya’s usual sarcasm, although it was at a lower level than before. “It was boring and troublesome and now I don’t feel like moving! So come on, go and get some water!” 

“No. I don’t want to get out there.” Izaya stated, in a serious and disarming tone. 

Shizuo didn’t say anything for some moments. “…they have cleaned everything up by now.”

“It still reeks of blood.”

Well, that was indeed the truth. But it just got on Shizuo’s nerves every time he was talking back at him. “Wow! I didn’t know you were this sensitive!”

“Heeeh? Well, isn’t this world just full of surprises!” Izaya shot him the most dangerous smile he had shot him so far. “Don’t worry Shizu-chan, I’ll bet you’ll have plenty of opportunities to gaze upon the shattered fragments of my fragile soul!” 

Shizuo wasted no time grabbing him by the neck and slamming him down. Izaya hissed as the back of his head hit the hard surface but didn’t react in any other way. He just kept passively looking at Shizuo, who was also looking down as he stood on top of him. 

“You’ve also gotten quite talkative. What was that just now, a line from a poem or something?” Shizuo glared at him with all of his might. “I didn’t know you knew such elaborate and difficult speech…” 

“There are plenty of things you don’t know about me…” Izaya almost whispered as he raised his leg and rubbed it against Shizuo’s thigh, but that earned him and even tighter grip on his neck, making it difficult to breathe, so he stopped. “Seriously, Shizu-chan, you’d be surprised if you realized how quickly you can learn a language if your life depends on it!” His voice came out strangled, of course. 

Shizuo eased his grip, but still didn’t let him go. “I don’t speak like this. Where did you learn it from?”

Izaya rolled his eyes. “Yumasaki had some books and he taught me some more words… I can’t read them though.” The truth was, he had learned over his half vocabulary by Kadota’s group. 

Shizuo left his neck almost instantly. Well, that explained everything as far as he was concerned. But still, he couldn’t get over the suspicion he was left with since the day before. But when he turned around and the smell of the meat hit his nostrils, he remembered that he had other, more pressing matters to think of right then. 

He waited for Izaya to sat up as well, as he did, rubbing his freshly attacked neck. “If I go for water, will you come with me?” Shizuo seemed finally ready to compromise.   
Izaya sighed. “What am I necessary for?” 

“Nothing really…”

Izaya just looked Shizuo in the eyes. “Aw, does Shizu-chan enjoy my company so much he doesn’t want me to leave his side, ever?”

A vein popped dangerously over Shizuo’s forehead. It was just so undeniably tempting to break Izaya’s face, every time he would open his damn mouth. “That isn’t going to get you out of it! Get up! …And it was better when you didn’t speak!”

“Then you shouldn’t have kept me.” 

Suddenly, the air around them weighed a tone, even if it was just for a few seconds. 

“I didn’t keep you for your chatting company!” Shizuo spat out. “You know very well why you have been kept here!”

Izaya narrowed his eyes. “Of course I do. Do you?”

One of the reasons Izaya didn’t exactly feel like he belonged in the human world, that he was something far out of it and above it, thus being allowed to love its subjects, was that he never let his emotions get the better of him. That he was never swept away. Watching humans was about as fascinating as watching living beings get swept by a powerful torrent, the amusing part being when he could observe the way they would react to regain control of themselves and their lives. Watching them was fun. And he always thought he wanted to be one of them. That it would be fun for a powerful emotion to consume him and completely control him. But now, an emotion was spilling out and he tried his best to contain it. He didn’t like this feeling. He didn’t like any of the feelings Shizuo was stirring up in him, and definitely not this one of pure rage. 

But, being Izaya, he was able to regain his composure in a few moments. He raised his hands up, just when Shizuo had opened his mouth to obviously roar an answer back at him. “Okay. You are right. We both know why I’m here. I’m sorry for angering you.” Shizuo halted his attack. Then Izaya raised his head and looked at him in the eye, with a resigned expression on his face. “I’m sorry. I’ll do anything you want.”

Shizuo felt his heart twitching at those words. He knew that this ‘anything’ hadn’t just one meaning. Izaya was a captive of war. They couldn’t go around forgetting their positions and acting like equals. Even though Shizuo had never felt superior to Izaya in any way. Not inferior of course either. 

“Che, do you think that all it takes is an apology? You think that’s all it takes to stop me from being angry?” Best defense was attack, but he couldn’t understand why he felt the need to defend himself. And that pissed him off even more. 

“What more do you want from me?”

This time, the twitching was even more intense, but Shizuo wouldn’t recognize it as guilt, not damn fucking ever! “To shut up and do as I’m telling you! Listen, you…” Shizuo just sighed, and ruffled his own hair. “This is war. You should be glad you still have your life. What more do I want from you… nothing. I just… don’t piss me off.” 

“Shizu-chan, you’re not exactly the most difficult person to piss off…” Izaya shrugged, even though he was surprised by Shizuo’s answer. “What could I do in front of you?” He shook his head left and right like he couldn’t help it. 

“Damn you, you bastard!” Shizuo barked, his anger coming back at full force and overstepping easily the guilt, as he took a step towards Izaya. “You know VERY well what makes another person lose it! That’s why I don’t fucking like you! I hate violence and you’re the fucking trigger!”

“Oh? So it’s my fault if you hit me?” Izaya let out in a low voice, almost menacing. 

“Very damn right it is! Every single time, you cause…” 

“So it’s my fault if I get raped? It’s my fault if I get killed?” This was the first time Shizuo was hearing Izaya raising his voice. “It’s my fault if my hometown is destroyed? It’s my fault that you just waltzed into my country, killing people like me? Don’t you dare to think that!” Izaya’s voice was dripping venom. “Don’t you dare, to think that I’m the one starting up the violence here. I won’t take any lectures from murderers.” 

That would have hit Shizuo hard, had it been said some years before. But now, it was just old news. “Well, you should.” Shizuo’s voice was cold. “Because each person is responsible for whatever happens to them.” 

“So all those people, killed and tortured at your kind’s hands, were responsible for it?” Izaya’s lips formed a disbelieving smile. “You really are a monster.” 

This was the first time Izaya was calling Shizuo a monster at his face. He had been called that many times before, but hearing it from Izaya was somehow much worse. So much worse. “Well, if you don’t like being with that monster, I can arrange you go and live under the protection of some other monster. I bet there will be plenty others who would be happy to take you.” 

And the conversation was over, just like that. Suddenly, Izaya felt that the blood inside his veins was running cold. He looked down and he hugged his own arms, trying to subjugate the shivers running through his body. He desperately tried not to show it but there was no way the motion would escape Shizuo. 

The need to resort to the previous comment, combined with Izaya’s reaction, made Shizuo’s self-loathing reach an entire new level. He immediately regretted everything he said, he regretted getting angry over something that trivial as for who was going to get water… he just regretted everything so much he thought his chest was going to burst. Though, looking at Izaya again, he was convinced that it wasn’t his fault entirely, but that didn’t make it any better at all. 

This was bad. They needed to clear their heads a bit. Shizuo decided it would be better if they just got out and walked. Without saying anything he just took some more steps forward and grabbed Izaya by his arm, trying to get him out of the tent. 

“NO!”

It was almost a scream. Shizuo was stunned to turn and see Izaya almost exactly like he had seen him when he had first taken him to his tent. Like a frightened animal. “I-Izaya…”

“No, no, no, no!” The other man shook his head violently, always facing the ground, never Shizuo, clutching the hand that was grabbing at him for dear life. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ m sorry! I’ll do anything, Shizuo! Please don’t… please, please, I’ll… “

“What? No, we’re just going to get some water!” The trembling, the frantic movements… Shizuo didn’t know what to think. 

“No, you’ll give me away…” His knees had even gotten weak. 

“I’m not giving you anywhere! Stop acting like a child! Look at me!” Shizuo grabbed Izaya by the chin and made him look upwards, straight in his eyes. Izaya’s were wide and terrified, but Shizuo’s were stern and honest. “I’m not giving you up! Got it?” 

Like a magic spell had been used, Izaya’s breathing steadily became even and he was back at his usual self in a couple of minutes. Though he knew, that he would have to carry the shame of losing it and begging Shizuo for the rest of his life. The fire inside him burned viciously, his hatred for Shizuo being flamed anew. He especially hated how the words ‘I’m not giving you up’ could have such an effect on him. 

As for Shizuo, he let Izaya go and did consider apologizing, but concluding that Izaya wouldn’t want that, he decided otherwise. “Come on, let’s go.” He halted a bit. “Do you want to come?” 

Izaya nodded. “Yeah, I’ll come.” He said and he followed Shizuo out of the tent. It would be best if either of them never again mentioned what had just happened, but one could never be sure how Shizuo would react. He was still a closed book for Izaya, while for everyone else he seemed so open. Maybe Izaya was used to always search for something more other than the surface. Shizuo wasn’t shallow, far from it. Whatever it was, they both needed to get their minds on a fresh page, and quickly. 

As for Shizuo, he knew very well where Izaya was coming from. Although he didn’t believe that Izaya was entirely right, there were no words he could offer in his own defense about what he and everyone else around him was doing. It was a war of conquest, people were getting killed, atrocities were committed, like it was the normal and usual thing to happen every day. People like Izaya, were losing everything, home, families, loved ones, and of course the ones responsible were soldiers like Shizuo. But that would happen even if Shizuo wasn’t there. And there was simply no place else a person like him could belong to, aside from the battlefield. For Shizuo, it was a job. A job for monsters. 

He glanced at the man walking beside him. He had thought that protecting someone at least would have made him hate himself less, but obviously Izaya was a wrong choice. Not only he had a special way of making Shizuo hate himself even more than he was ever able to imagine, with every single one of his poisonous comments, there definitely had to be better people out there who deserved someone’s protection. He was sure that even Izaya would agree on that. And yet, and even so, he couldn’t imagine himself walking beside anybody else. Well, he could, but it wouldn’t be… it wouldn’t be as… 

Complicating thoughts were never Shizuo’s forte. Just at the time he was ready to get pissed off again, he saw a familiar white coat passing through in front of him. 

“Doctor Lynch!” He called at him. The man briefly turned around, glanced at them, swiftly waved towards Shizuo, in an attempt of greeting him, and then he quickly resumed his way. 

For a doctor, Izaya noticed that he wasn’t looking all that healthy. He was tall, very skinny, with a face almost yellow, sunken cheeks, high cheekbones and gleaming, gray eyes. The few strands of hair that had remained on his head were also gray. He was almost scary. “Who was that?”

“You know him. He was the one that looked at your arm the first time I hit you.” 

Izaya was ready to say that he was so sorry to have forgotten such a fun memory, but he was still shaken up from before. “Hooh… He sure doesn’t seem so healthy for a doctor.” He remembered the doctor he knew. He was sure that Shinra lived somewhere, oblivious to the catastrophe, having a sweet lucky married time with his wife. He envied that man like nobody else in the entire world. 

“Some people just can’t deal with the pressure.” Shizuo shrugged. “He is a good man. That’s what got to him in the first place. I think he operated on a poor kid rather than a wealthy man and now he’s here. What he sees every day must have really gotten to him.” That alarm in his head started ringing again, reminding him that feeding Izaya with information about other people was probably a bad idea, but he chose to ignore it this time. 

Izaya froze in his tracks. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t remember details, but I think that in the hospital…”

“No, not that!” Izaya cut him off. “I mean, that too, but… what do you mean got to him? He didn’t come here voluntarily?” 

Shizuo offered him a bitter smile. “Almost no one is here voluntarily. Think about it, who would you want to send somewhere they might never get back from?”

“The criminals. Society’s misfits.” It was something that Izaya had already suspected, but didn’t have anything that could prove it to him. Except for those words. Of course, someone like Shizuo, with his temper and his strength, had no place there. They were all ostracized, and Izaya’s country was paying the price. “That’s what happened with you.” 

“That’s what happened with me.”

Izaya bit back every kind of comment that came into his mind, because Shizuo’s words about giving him to someone else, were still too fresh in his mind. It was so vexing. Now would have been the perfect chance to stomp on Shizuo’s feelings mercilessly and perhaps to never allow him get back at his feet emotionally ever again. Hm, maybe he would need some more time for that… 

“I know what you’re thinking.” Shizuo casually said, leaving Izaya speechless once again. “That it was natural, since a monster can’t live in a society of humans, right?”

Izaya didn’t say anything, yet again. 

“Cat got your tongue?” Shizuo taunted him. “Say something. I’d prefer you mostly silent though.”

“Do you have a family, Shizu-chan?” 

Now, that was truly the last kind of information Shizuo wanted to feed Izaya. “Well, I didn’t sprout off of the ground, did I?”

“You could be an orphan. Do you have someone waiting back in your home? Parents, siblings, a girlfriend or two maybe?” 

“That’s none of your fucking business!”Shizuo just snapped back at him. Izaya could easily see that he was now once again enraged, but now it was absolutely fun! So, family was a touchy issue for Shizuo… Thinking about it was like popping a candy in his mouth. 

“I have two sisters. Twins.” Izaya said, purposely not mentioning his parents (there wasn’t something interesting about them, anyway), or his wife. “Fourteen year olds. I hope I still have them, seeing what your group does to fourteen year old girls and boys.” 

Shizuo didn’t comment on it. “I didn’t ask you.”

“Well, I just told you.” 

When they finally got back at their tent and resumed eating and drinking that god damn water that had stirred so much trouble, Izaya was in an undeniably good mood, while Shizuo was feeling like he had just eaten bricks. He couldn’t deal with this guy. He just had a talent to bring out the worst in him. 

So he just lied down at the sheets, making a pillow with his hands behind his head, and observed him, as he was going through lots of new to him stuff yet again. Now Shizuo remembered as well; the first time he had hit him was because Izaya had accidentally turned on the flashlight, and then got so startled by the light, that he threw it away and it found Shizuo on the forehead. The second time, he had found Shizuo’s lighter and set fire to the tent, not on purpose of course but they had started fights for infinitely less… thank God he wasn’t an idiot enough to start fiddling with a gun. 

Now he was playing with a toothbrush, like the one Shizuo had snapped at one of their first meetings, to describe him how he would break him. What for, he already knew how to use this one… Shizuo took his eyes off of the object and started observing Izaya’s body, and his movements as well. How could he move in those robes? Weren’t they impractical? 

That was about how long he could prevent his thoughts from delving into a darker issue: Should he try to fuck him or not. He already knew what Izaya’s body was like. And he knew very well that soon, many others in the camp would start keeping whoever they wanted, in order to be able to have regular sex, besides just that one night in the expedition. He had never done that before, but now that it just happened to keep someone in his tent, why shouldn’t he?

Many reasons. The main one being that it would be a very, very bad idea. Izaya would never want it, and even if he didn’t resist, it was sure that something like that would make their daily life absolutely unbearable. Being already this close to Izaya was bad enough, sticking it into him seemed more dangerous than anything else. Although… maybe… maybe he would become more obedient? Maybe they could find a common ground? 

“Izaya.”

“Hmm? What is it?” He replied, leaving the toothbrush in its place and then searching for something else. 

“Wanna have sex?” 

Izaya halted his movements, but his lips formed a small smile. “Are you sure you want to do it with someone like me?” 

“No, I just asked.” Shizuo simply answered. “Are you sure you want to do it with someone like me?” 

“Well, it doesn’t matter what I want, does it?” That conversation reminded him of something. 

“If it didn’t, I wouldn’t ask you.” 

“Really now.” Izaya turned and offered Shizuo one of his rarest, sincere smiles, just a line across his lips. Shizuo even thought that he looked beautiful. “Shizu-chan really is kind.” He then put his hands on his knees and propped himself up. “Sure then. Why not.” 

Shizuo just stared at him for a couple of moments, without moving an inch from his lying position. “Nah, forget it.” He finally stated, turning his body on the other side from the one Izaya was standing.

“Oh, come one Shizu-chan!” Izaya laughed a bit, his smile now crooked. “I thought he could finally have some fun together!” 

“Just how much fun can a person that was trembling like a fish out of the water right now have, just in the mere possibility of it?” Shizuo shot him down more than effectively. “End of conversation.” 

Izaya’s hands formed so tight fists that the nails could break his skin any moment now. Of course he would bring it up. Of course! But he wasn’t done yet, and the smirk hadn’t left his lips. “Oh, Shizu-chan, you know that was because it would have been with some other guy… not with you!” He strolled across the space between them and finally kneeled just next to Shizuo’s turned back. “You know…” He mustered his most seductive voice, and leaned close to Shizuo’s ear. “It’s fine if it’s you…” He tried to reach and touch Shizuo’s shoulder, but Shizuo’s hand was quicker, as it darted and caught Izaya’s wrist without any hesitation.

“I can’t even describe to you how much I hate your rotten lies!” Shizuo spat out, and finally turned to face Izaya, who had come a bit too close for comfort. “Why are you playing with me like this, huh? Is it so much fun?” 

Izaya couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “Of course it’s fun, Shizu-chan, of course it’s fun!” He kept on laughing so hard that tears started to form in the corners of his eyes.

“You’re deranged.” Shizuo’s expression could easily be considered worried, as he kept staring at Izaya who just kept laughing. He was right; He shouldn’t have even mentioned anything. He didn’t even have any serious intention of doing something like it and now Izaya would be even more wary of him than before. It was so stupid! 

Izaya’s laughter halted abruptly. “And you are a monster; I guess that makes us even.” It was satisfying seeing Shizuo narrowing his eyes, clearly indicating that he had struck a nerve. “But I wish you would play with me a bit more.”

Before Shizuo could realize it, Izaya threw the hand Shizuo was holding on the ground and used it as leverage to swiftly climb on top of him, his legs at either side of Shizuo’s thighs. Now suddenly, Izaya was looking down at him with his usual smug expression. 

“Move it.” Shizuo just said, but he didn’t make any motion to throw him off of him. He just stayed there, looking up at the face that was causing him so much grief. 

“No, Shizu-chan looks so cute from this angle.” Izaya said and used his free hand to trace Shizuo’s lips. Generally it would be a bad idea, giving that he had some day seen Shizuo breaking iron with those teeth, but he never resisted bad ideas anyways. And when he felt Shizuo’s hand cupping and roaming up and down his thigh, he couldn’t help but widen his devilish smile. It felt good. It felt more than good. Shizuo was acting like predicted. The thought was enough to make Izaya melt and it showed in his gleaming eyes. “Shizu-“

And then, the hand caressing his thigh suddenly tightened on it, and with a violent tackle, Izaya suddenly found himself with his back on the ground, hitting it with force, and with Shizuo on top of him, his knees between Izaya’s legs. It was rough but it was exactly what Izaya had wanted, so the wolfish grin decorating his face wouldn’t go away. As he looked up and came face to face with Shizuo’s own devilish grin, he vaguely remembered how big Shizuo was and he shuddered, but there was no turning back from there now…

“Don’t underestimate me, you little bastard.” Shizuo stated, every ounce of uncertainty he had before now gone. He now knew what needed to be done, what Izaya truly wanted. He didn’t know how, but it suddenly all made sense in his head. “I might be a monster that nobody loves because of this accursed strength, but I’m never going to become the kind of monster you would want me to be. You cursed little insect!” 

And with those words, he got up, leaving Izaya’s smile to freeze on his lips. He turned around and left the tent, leaving Izaya alone, barely sitting up and looking at his retreating form. 

“Really, Shizu-chan.” He finally whispered after some moments. “I hate you. I hate you so much!” 

I hate you so much, if only could you just die!


	8. Chapter 8

“So, Shizuo, how are things going with our interpreter?”

That must have been the first time Tom was actually afraid of the look Shizuo shot at him. He had seen him angry lots of times before, but after Izaya’s entrance there was a special kind of menacing black aura surrounding him. Tom had even started regretting that he entrusted Shizuo with that responsibility, even though he knew very well that there was no other way they could acquire and use an interpreter. But now, given the current situation, he wasn’t even sure they needed one.

“Fine…” Shizuo growled. 

“Ah… I see… well…” Tom honestly wanted to change the subject, but, being connected to what he needed to tell Shizuo, that was impossible. “I’m not sure he’s going to be needed, the way things are progressing…”

Tom saw Shizuo freezing up, as his eyes widened in an indescribable surprise. “…What?” He finally managed to utter. 

“As you know, our platoon is the first one to step on land, and it consists only of five hundred men. Even with such a small number, we have managed to keep our losses at the minimum and the conquest is progressing without any problems…”

“Yes, because we’ve never crossed paths with an organized army! All we do is burn up villages and…” Shizuo pursed his lips like he had just tasted something bitter. 

“Exactly, and that’s because we never gave them the chance to do it.” Tom put his elbows on his private and only desk and intertwined his fingers. “We’re progressing way too quickly. Their means of resistance are far too outdated. Soon, we will need to move the entire camp further inside the land. And now, we just got transmissions from other platoons of the battalion, explaining how they have also landed and already launched attacks and advanced further.” Tom narrowed his eyes. “This is unprecedented. It’s too quick and too violent. I think that there may not even be a need for any kinds of negotiations. Do you understand me?”

Shizuo gritted his teeth, grinding the cigarette between his lips in the process. “This is way too fucked up, Commander Tom. Way too ugly…” 

“I know.” Tom sighed. “Look at the bright side of it. It will end way more quickly than we had calculated.” He took his hands off the table and leaned back at his chair. “But if that happens, we won’t be needing an interpreter.”

Shizuo’s breath was caught up at his throat, for reasons unknown, as he insisted to tell himself. “What… do you want me to do with him, then?” 

“For now, we still keep him. I just wanted to warn you about that possibility beforehand and soon.” Tom looked at Shizuo, worried. “What do you suggest we should do with him?”

“I don’t know and I don’t care!” Shizuo spat out, looking at the ground. 

Tom raised his eyebrow. Since Izaya had come in the picture, Shizuo’s actions used to contradict his words even more than before. Tom had hesitated upon whether he should order Shizuo to kill Izaya before he got too attached to him, but he had also hesitated way too long whether they would use him or not, and now he had missed the right timing. Izaya himself wasn’t the problem; the problem would be Shizuo’s reaction. After all, Tom knew that many men needed to do something to atone about their sins committed in the course of war and bloodshed. 

“Okay. Let’s leave that aside for now.” He decided. “I need to talk to you about the next expedition. It’s far away, so you’ll leave the morning and return at night. It’s programmed in about a week…”

In the other side of the camp, Izaya was happily chatting with Kadota, strolling next to him through the camp. Well, the happy one seemed to be Izaya. Kadota looked kind of uncomfortable, just like every time he had to talk to Izaya. He had warned Togusa and Yumasaki not to disclose too much information to him, ever. That must have started since Izaya began calling him Dota-chin and both of them started repeating it after him. 

“Izaya, don’t anger Shizuo way too much, you know.” He couldn’t help but advise him though, every time he saw them, for everyone’s better interest. “Someday you’re going to regret it if you keep it up.”

“Eh? Is that so?” Izaya chirped in high spirits. He still hadn’t forgiven Shizuo for his actions that night some days ago, but forgiveness wasn’t really one of his strong points. In fact, he had never practiced it so far. Even though he was relieved that he didn’t get fucked by another man, he couldn’t deny that. “If Dota-chin is worried, then why isn’t he taking me   
under his lovely wings?” 

“No thanks.” Kadota shot him down immediately. “You know how to take care of yourself.” Izaya laughed because he expected nothing less from him. He knew very well that Kadota didn’t want to have much to do with him, but that didn’t prevent him from casually starting up some talk. After all, Kadota was kind enough to help him be able to communicate. “But this is what I mean, Izaya. Stop teasing him. Shizuo doesn’t have much patience.” 

“I know very well what Shizu-chan has and what he has not.” Izaya informed him. “I know him well enough.”

“You only know him for about a month and a half. How can you say that?” Kadota stopped walking and Izaya turned and faced him. 

“Oh? So, Dota-chin knows him better than I do?” 

Kadota said nothing, and he just resumed walking, and Izaya imitated him, still looking at him and expecting his answer. “I cannot claim something like that.” Kadota finally replied. “But I do know that Shizuo is dangerous when he loses it, and that he hates that. Shizuo has protected you up until now; don’t push him to his limits.”

“He doesn’t protect me out of the goodness of his heart, and neither do you, Dota-chin.” Izaya nonchalantly said. “Or will you try to tell me that both of you are kind people? After all, your society rejected you and now you’re here.” He looked at Kadota from the corner of his eye but the other man didn’t seem fazed at all at the comment. “Shizu-chan didn’t even want to talk about his family. I bet they long ago shunned their little monster, and he returned the favor. ”

“No talking doesn’t mean no loving.” Kadota corrected him. “Shizuo loves his little brother very much. Too much I would even say. His family is a nice and loving family. He’s no monster.” Kadota narrowed his eyes. His patience was also reaching its limits. 

“I’ll talk however I want about the man I saw destroying homes and killing people like flies.” Izaya snapped back, but his tone was rather casual. So, Shizu-chan had a little brother. Whom he loved a lot. Now that was just… incredibly marvelous. His evil smile had just started to resurface. “Dota-chin, I think it’s time I should go. I have some chores to do. Next time we meet, let’s talk about something more pleasant than Shizu-chan, okay?” He turned right and left Kadota alone, more worried than he ever had been before. 

“This isn’t going to go well…” He sighed at himself. Izaya’s behavior was definitely looking for trouble, but he couldn’t exactly blame him either. They were the intruders. They had no right to say anything good about themselves. Thinking that, he also left to search for his comrades. 

Izaya, on the other hand, was now truly in high spirits, without having to pretend it. After Shizuo rejected him like that the other day, he felt both unbelievably relieved and unbelievably angry at the same time. Doing it with Shizuo would be so painful that he might even die. But on the other hand, had he survived, he would have had a way, possibly the only way, to lead someday Shizuo exactly where he wanted him too. Maybe even making him fall in love with him and manipulate him just as he wished. For someone as straightforward and as plain as him that would have been the best approach. But that had failed, and now Izaya needed to consider using the mention of his little brother. Maybe that could get him going… without Izaya having to sell his ass to him. Yes, that did sound better. 

Speaking about selling his ass… Izaya noticed, far at the inside of where he was an also very familiar silhouette. Shazesh with his men were hanging out, gulping alcohol like it was water, making dirty jokes and laughing loudly and idiotically. Shazesh himself was sitting on an uprooted tree log with another guy while the rest of them were acting silly. Izaya approached them without standing out too much, and when they started singing and dancing and the guy sitting with Shazesh left and joined the rest, he snuck up on the other guy. 

“I see you’re having fun here.” He mentioned, and watched in amusement as Shazesh almost drowned in his bottle of whiskey. The vile man turned around, coughing, making sure his eyes weren’t deceiving him. 

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Heiwajima’s pretty toy!” He finally exclaimed, making Izaya’s face slightly contort at the thought. “How come? You came to see us by your own?” 

“I was just passing by.” Izaya said, as he stepped over the log and sat next to Shazesh, like they were old friends. Some of Shazesh’s men had noticed him and kept glancing, talking among them, but no one stepped towards both of them eventually. “I saw you and I thought I’d come and say hi. Didn’t I do well?”

Shazesh laughed out loud, the kind of laughter that comes from your heart. “Of course, of course you did well!” He insisted. “Here, do you want a drink?” He offered him the whiskey bottle. 

“Ah. No thanks. I’d love to, but Shizu-chan will know I was drinking.” Izaya refused with a smile. 

“Huh, he will now, won’t he?” Shazesh brought the bottle on his lips gaudily. “Has he fucked you yet?” 

“Who knows. Maybe.” Izaya smirked, and didn’t miss the bulge forming inside the other’s pants. 

“Ah, I’ll have to test it out then. Quickly.” Shazesh’s lewd smile reached his ears, locking eyes with Izaya. “If he has, I’ll bang you so badly I’ll make you forget about that dick and worship only mine. And if he has not, I’m going to bang you so much and so hard that I’ll shape your asshole into my dick’s form!” His torso kept leaning over Izaya’s side, as he kept talking, never breaking eye contact. Not fucking Izaya some days ago had actually made him unable to stop thinking about what he had delayed acquiring, making even more seductive than before. He had jerked off to Izaya’s image almost every night since then. He just had to have him; he could barely restrain himself from grabbing Izaya and shoving his legs wide open right there, right then. 

Izaya chuckled. “Let me guess; you were always this romantic?” 

“Only with the right cunts.” Shazesh replied, and laughed out loud again, leaning back in his place, away from Izaya. “It’s too bad you’re no chick though.” He took another sip from his bottle. “I usually go for young chicks. When they’re young, you know, about fifteen to twenty, they have grown meat in the right places, but the skin is still soft… and when you’re the first you know it, from the blood. It’s a marvelous sight!” 

Izaya was stuck between admiring the complexity and difference in thinking in one of his humans, and pure and outmost disgust at what he was hearing. Though he had no intention of kidding himself; he knew important people of his own compatriots who were a lot worse. “Oh? Is that so? You must have been with many.”

“Aye. But don’t worry sweetheart!” Shazesh winked at him. “Something tells me you’re going to be something really special!” 

“Wow. Tell that something I’m flattered.” Izaya commented. 

Shazesh laughed a bit, and then just stopped and looked at Izaya. “You’re a smart one, aren’t you?”

“Now, I’m flattered even more.” Izaya’s smirk never left his face. 

Shazesh burst in laughter. “Ah, you’re a good one!” He stated. “Izaya, wasn’t it? You’re a really good one… I’m going to enjoy shoving my dick into your clever little mouth. Make sure you suck it well!” 

“I must confess that it’s not my area of expertise, but I’ll do what I can.” Izaya shrugged. Shazesh was way too easy to read. It was way too easy for Izaya to entertain him, if he just assured him that he’d open his legs for him. “If, of course, you can take care of a single hindrance, as we said.” 

Shazesh shot him a cunning look. “You, you came to ask about when and how, didn’t you?” As Izaya said nothing, he continued: “Fine. I’ll let you on our little secret. After all, we’re going to me marvelous partners in this crime!”He said, as he took a metallic ball at the size of his palm out of his jacket’s pocket. “You see this?” He showed Izaya. “The latest and most effective weapon in guerilla wars. This little guy here contains a powerful narcotic that can immobilize even an elephant. One of my boys sneaked in and stole it from the ship’s most expensive cargo.” He kept on bragging. Izaya wanted to ask about that ship, since he had never seen it, and couldn’t even imagine it, but now he had more important things to learn. “Throw this at Heiwajima’s feet; it releases gas that renders him unable to move a single muscle. The rest, is a piece of cake.” Shazesh smiled and kept admiring the treasure in his hands, lost in thoughts about what he would do to Shizuo when he would catch him, how he would kick him, and stab him slowly in all the right places. “Heiwajima Shizuo in my mercy… maybe I’ll fuck him, right there, too. Strength aside, he’s a really good catch!” 

Izaya had thought many times that he’d puke, since he arrived at that camp, but he had never before felt it so intensely. Shizuo? In this guy’s hands? Shizuo? HIS Shizuo? “Shizuo Heiwajima is someone that must be dealt him as quickly as possible.” He blurted out, unable to restrain himself. “If you feel it’s safe, play with him. But I’d suggest you get it done soon. After all, beasts can be unpredictable.”

“Aw, you’re so cute when you worry!” Shazesh exclaimed and threw his arm around Izaya’s shoulders, sticking too close for comfort to him. “But you don’t need to. The next expedition is in one week. All you need to do is tell us where exactly we can find him all alone and defenseless when he returns… and toy with his weapons a bit… if you know what I mean!”

“Shizuo doesn’t need weapons. It’s his temper you need to be wary of.” Izaya smirked. “I’ll tell you exactly the ideal time and the place to find him. The rest is up to you.”

“Hehe, and then we will have some fun, won’t we?” He said, as he grabbed Izaya’s thigh, a move he was set up on doing for some time by then. 

“Shazesh.” Izaya’s serious tone made him halt his impulsive and cheerful behavior. He looked up at him. “What’s the most fun you’re having here?” 

Shazesh just kept looking Izaya in the eyes for some moments, until he slowly backed away and removed his hand from the other’s thigh. “When the light goes off of their eyes the moment I finish inside of them. It’s the most exciting look anyone can witness. When they die as they get fucked.”

Izaya felt all of the hairs on his body standing up, after hearing that statement. “That’s my fate too, Shazesh?” He sincerely asked of him. 

“Ah, no.” He answered, hurryingly. “That’s what I love to do to women. Men, I don’t care. Some are good fucks. But I don’t really care about them.”

“How come?” That instantly picked Izaya’s interest. “Did you stumble over some bad women back home?” 

“Aye. And I showed her good!” Usually, Shazesh was emitting an aura of sadism, but now, Izaya didn’t miss the thick vale of hatred that befell on his eyes as he uttered those words, obviously recalling memories. 

“Well, women are indeed mysterious creatures, that’s for sure.” Izaya said, as he stood up, ready to leave. “They might have come into this world to make the lives of men miserable.” 

“No.” Shazesh corrected him, staying where he was. “They came into this world to make men happy. As did cows, chickens, and pigs. Their meat makes men happy.” He said, offering his signature lewd smile once again. 

“That’s an interesting opinion.” Izaya nodded. “Next time, I’ll come with the information you need. I hope we work things out nicely.” 

“See you around, cutie.” Shazesh nodded back and took another sip from his bottle as Izaya turned and left him and his group. 

Izaya maintained his usual pacing for as far as they could see him, but, as soon as he lost sight of them, he started walking away as more quickly as he could. It had already started to grow dark as the sun had already set, and he didn’t want to be left alone in the camp at night, plus, Shizuo would start questioning him about where he had been if he arrived later than him in the tent. And that was something he’d prefer to avoid.

He arrived right outside their time at the same time Shizuo did. They looked at each other for a couple of moments.

“Where have you been?” Shizuo asked.

“Here and there.” Izaya shrugged and walked inside the tent, in front of Shizuo. As it seemed, he wouldn’t be able to avoid it after all.

“Where here and where there!” Shizuo demanded to know. “You sure know how to walk around like you own the place now! You’re not one of us, you know! What will you do if someone attacks you?” 

“I’ll call your name, my prince!” Izaya mocked him, as he sat down on the ground. “Then you’ll surely rush to my rescue!”

“Don’t bet on it…” Shizuo said and the fact that his tone wasn’t irritated but deadpan, didn’t escape Izaya’s attention. 

“What is it, Shizu-chan? You really won’t come?” He said, half jokingly, half seriously. 

“Not if you’re the one starting up the trouble.”

“Now you’re hurting me!” Izaya gasped pretentiously, already getting on Shizuo’s nerves. “You know I would never do that!”

“I know shit!” Shizuo replied angrily. But then he remembered what Tom had given him as an extra and his anger faded away. “Come on, I have something to give you.” He said, as he sat in front of Izaya, squatting, taking the pouch he was usually carrying off of his shoulders and bringing it in front of them both.

Izaya’s eyes widened, in honest surprise. “Give? To… me?” 

“Yes, to you.” Shizuo casually said, as he took a metallic bottle, the one Izaya knew as the one they used to keep liquids warm. “Pass me your cup.” 

Izaya did as instructed, and he silently watched as Shizuo poured a dark, brown drink from the bottle in it. What could that be? He had never seen it before. Everyone was always drinking from canteens so one could never be sure what the other was drinking. 

“Here.” Shizuo gave it to him, the cup filled with it. “It’s coffee. It’s a drink. It’s bitter and I don’t like it, so I never drink it, but Commander Tom had just gotten some ready and I thought you’d like to try it…” 

Izaya was left speechless. He slowly took the cup, and then, at the same pace, tried a sip. And the taste that hit him was simply, purely amazing. 

“This…” He said. “This is delicious! This is good, Shizu-chan!” He exclaimed, as he tried it again, more enthusiastically than before. He almost looked like a kid in Shizuo’s eyes for a second. 

“Hey, don’t drink it like it’s water!” Shizuo chastised him, but he seemed a bit amused, as he lit up a cigarette that hanged by his mouth. “It has a substance that won’t allow you to sleep if you drink too much of it!” 

“That’s fine; I’ll just stare at Shizu-chan’s handsome face all night.” He retorted, and drank some again. 

“Don’t say such creepy things.” Shizuo’s right eyebrow twitched. 

“You’re the one holding me tightly in your arms at night… every night.” Izaya reminded him. 

“Only because I can’t let you run away!”

“See? You’re admitting it yourself!” Izaya happily announced. As Shizuo opened his mouth to throw an answer at him, Izaya cut him short: “Don’t worry Shizu-chan. I’m not going to run away. I’m not stupid.” He said, drinking from his cup again. “Even if you were to throw me out, I’d return right here again. You are the future. Anyone can see that.” 

“Don’t you feel anything about your country crumbling to bits?” Shizuo asked him. 

For Izaya, it wasn’t just a country. It was his entire world. “This and that are irrelevant.” He said, looking down at the brown liquid, which was staring right back at him. “Really, Shizu-chan, I meant to ask you…” 

“Huh? What?” Shizuo puffed out some smoke.

“What do you think about women?”

Now, talk about something beside the mark. “What? Where did that come from? No, what do you even mean?” Shizuo even wondered it out loud. 

“Like… do you think that women came into this world to make men miserable? Or to make them happy?” He looked up at Shizuo and expected his answer. 

“…why would you think that women came in this world for the sake of men in the first place. That’s what you actually think? I don’t believe so.” What the hell was he asking, Shizuo thought, and still couldn’t figure it out. 

“I just want to know what you think.” 

“What I think… What is there to think? We’re all humans.” He simply stated. “Even if some things are different, we all have the same hearts and the same brains.” He concluded. “I can’t understand why you would ask this kind of question.”

“‘The same hearts and the same brains’… wasn’t it?” Izaya smiled a bit. “Shizu-chan’s definition is definitely interesting…” He chuckled a bit. 

It was weird. Even though Shizuo and he were polar opposites, making conflict unavoidable, they just happened to agree at the most important stuff. Izaya had observed humans long enough to be able to tell that women were equally interesting and variable as men were. Their general pattern of behavior might differ than the one of men due to their distance in the social scale, but they were just as much of human beings as their male counterparts. And thus, it was twice as amusing to see them struggle under the men’s feet. Not literally though. As Izaya had recently discovered, it wasn’t fun when it happened literally at all. He remembered his sisters and Namie and unconsciously, gripped the cup more tightly.

“Don’t worry about your sisters…”Shizuo said, and Izaya jerked up, almost offended that Shizuo seemed to have read his thoughts. “If they are half as smart as you are, they’ll be okay.” 

“Wow, Shizu-chan actually complimented me! Hooray!” Izaya’s sarcasm was dripping. “Yet, look where I am, Shizu-chan, here with you.” 

“You could have been with someone worse.” Shizuo actually smiled a bit. 

“That… might be true.” Izaya agreed, and took a sip from his coffee, which had started to grow cold and wasn’t as tasty as before. “That might be true.” 

“I don’t have the right to be sorry for what you had to endure.” Shizuo confessed to him, leaving Izaya once again speechless. “We have our respective roles to play in this shitty world. We must act accordingly.”

“We both chose those roles, didn’t we?” Izaya commented, as he shrugged. 

“Yes we did.” Shizuo agreed. “And we have to see them through the end.” 

Izaya chuckled bitterly. “But my end seems so much closer than Shizu-chan’s, it’s so unfair…” He said, his gaze dropping at the ground, filled with many grim thoughts. “Whatever. In the end we’re all alone either way. No matter when it comes.” 

“Ah… I don’t like thinking like that.” Shizuo said, lighting up another cigarette, as his previous one had just finished. “And I don’t even believe that this is true for everyone. You’ll never alone as long as you have people who love you.” 

“Like your little brother, Shizu-chan?”

Izaya momentarily thought that it would have been better if he had stepped on a landmine. Shizuo’s entire form went from relaxed to rigid in mere milliseconds, and the look in his eyes alone was enough to kill a horde of wolves. “Never.” He said through gritted teeth that would barely move away from each other, cutting the freshly lit up cigarette and letting it drop on the ground, barely allowing the voice to come out. “Never. Again. Will I hear you. Mentioning my little brother with that mouth of yours. You heard me? EVER!” His voice was so downright menacing that Izaya got a bit scared, he had to confess. “If you ever do it again, I’ll rip your tongue right off your mouth and break it into tiny pieces! Understand?” 

Izaya nodded numbly, the knuckles around the cup with the coffee turning white. That right now, had been a mistake, under the current circumstances. He felt the need to say something to defend himself, but Shizuo’s killer look instructed him otherwise. “Understand.” He just said, just like before, when that was one of the less than a few words he knew. “Understand.” 

Now all that was left to be moved was a single, last piece. 

As Shizuo was turning around and lighting up a third cigarette, in order to calm himself down, Izaya reminded himself that he had to go and see a very particular doctor some time soon. 

It would be an optional piece, but it would make the game more interesting, letting it last longer.


	9. Chapter 9

As the week passed by, the camp was going through a very hectic phase. It was time for them to move further inside the land, as their respective teams, that arrived a little bit later than them, had already made significant progress. Izaya didn’t know exactly how many they were, but he guessed that there were enough to cover the most south part of Sekai, hugging the coastline, and then move upwards to complete the conquest. They were divided in camps of five hundred people so Izaya could easily do a rough estimation of how many they were in total, which probably amounted to a sum of ten to fifteen thousand people. Ten thousand people setting off to conquer millions did seem like a ridiculously impossible task, even with their superior technology, but Izaya doubted that they would remain only ten thousand for much longer. He had never seen anyone from other platoons, but he knew that they were communicating through devices that allowed their voices to travel to distant places. And that was the way they learned about each other’s course. 

Also, Izaya had correctly assumed that they already knew the basic topography of all of the land through equally convenient and suitable devices. Meaning, that after the upcoming expedition, they would already be able to move safely further inside the mainland. They had already stayed in one place longer than necessary. The other platoons could leave them behind and that could end up being a serious drawback. So, everyone was running up and down in frenzy, trying to prepare for the expedition and the movement in the same time. 

That gave Izaya more than enough time to explore further some things he wanted, and also meet with Shazesh in secret when he needed. He told him everything about the route Shizuo was going to take, and even informed him that the mention of Shizuo’s little brother was a perfect bait. Those meetings would have been less stressful if Shazesh hadn’t tried to grab his ass each time. 

As he stepped inside the tent they were using as infirmary, he couldn’t help but notice that not a single soldier had ever been injured, aside the one Shizuo had beaten into a pulp. Izaya stole some glances at the battered up body of the unfortunate man, who was now in a deep slumber, due to the medication he was taking. But it was another man he was looking for.

“Do you need something?”

Izaya turned around to meet Dr Lynch’s grim face. He had seen faces like his many times before. It was the face of a man who has nothing left to lose so he is willing to cling even from the most slender string that appears before him. It was one of Izaya’s favorite faces. 

“Ah. Pardon my intrusion!” Izaya smiled, and took a small step behind. “It’s just so hectic out there… Shizu-chan shooed me away, he said he had to do things and my existence bothered him! But I guess that applies to all of you and your general goal here, doesn’t it?”

“Go home… I mean, get back.” The doctor muttered, as he strolled past Izaya, shaking his head, with his eyes fixed on the ground. 

“Why, doctor? I thought I wanted to speak a bit with you.” Izaya casually mentioned. “Am I a bother to you too?” 

Lynch didn’t reply for a few seconds, instead he sat down, in a small ottoman chair in the corner. It left a grand impression on Izaya that he wouldn’t dare to lift his gaze from the ground. “Get back…” He finally said when he opened his mouth. “If you don’t, he might hurt you.” 

“Oh? Can he do more to me than he already has?” Izaya let out a deep and sensual voice, watching in amusement as the other man instantly covered his ears and started trembling. He was an emotionally weak man. And more than that, he must have been kind. “Do you feel sorry for me, Doctor?” He asked, as he started walking forward, towards him. 

“Get back, please…!” Lynch begged him, clutching onto the sides of his head for dear life. “Get back, I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do for you, or for anyone like you! I can’t help you, I can’t save you, so please, don’t… don’t…”

“Stand in front of you? Remind you that I exist?” Izaya’s tone was far more mellow that the severity including in his words, as he came and stood right in front of Lynch, essentially looking down at the sitting wreck of a man. “Lift your head up, Doctor. Lift it up and look at me.” 

Lynch shook his head again, like a stubborn child. He tried to say something but only a choked sound came out. Izaya didn’t give up though.

“Lift your head up and look at me in the eyes, Doctor.” He repeated, in a more severe tone this time. Lynch obeyed this time, looking at Izaya with eyes full of regret, depression, sadness and pain. A conscientious doctor. What hell must it have been for him to be there. “You can save me, doctor.” He told him, and stared at those gray eyes and puffed red from all the guilt, as they widened in unexpected hope. “You can save me, just with a few words.” 

A bit later, at the other side of the camp, Shizuo had really started regretting kicking Izaya out, even if it was just temporary. Aside from the fact that he worried about what Izaya was doing and mostly with whom, it was really irritating and troublesome to start gathering up all the necessary things in the necessary order in the necessary way in the necessary- fuck everything. He wasn’t using Izaya for sex, at least he could use him as a maid, butler, whatever. The reason he didn’t was because he absolutely despised other people touching his stuff. Like that point hadn’t already come across, he thought, as he just stared in front of his tent.

“Hey, Shizuo.” Kadota’s voice shook him off of his thoughts, and made him turn around to face the other guy. “Getting ready for departure?” He asked, as he pointed at the tent.

“Kind of… Pisses me the hell off.” Shizuo ruffled his hair. “Are you guys done?”

“Togusa and Yumasaki were working on it all day so any moment now.” 

“Hmm? And what’s Izaya doing, watching you, bubbling next to your ears and annoying you? How do you put up with him.” Shizuo couldn’t resist commenting.

“Eh?” Kadota asked, with an expression of genuine wonder, not sure what Shizuo meant. “He’s passing by from time to time, he’s not that unpleasant… I sincerely wished he’d stopped calling me Dota-chin, though. The others have caught up on it and I just can’t find peace…”

“Yeah, he pulls shit like that.” Shizuo’s anger was starting to steadily resurface. Something tugged at his chest. He couldn’t understand the reason though. “That fucking bastard!” Shizuo said as he kneeled down to grab one of his large rifles.

“So? Where is he now?” Kadota casually asked. 

Shizuo froze. “What do you mean? Wasn’t he with you guys just now?”

“What? With us?” Kadota was taken aback. “No, today he didn’t come by our place at all.” 

As Shizuo was standing up, holding the rifle, he did a violent and sudden movement and snapped it in two, crashing it upon his knee. Kadota vaguely thought that this would count as a severe damage in equipment, before considering running for his dear life. “Then where is heeeeeee?” He growled like a lion, as he turned and darted his eyes on Kadota, who, no matter how brave he was, he was unprotected in front of Shizuo’s bare rage. “WHERE IS HE?”He roared, like it was Kadota’s responsibility to know that. Kadota didn’t even know where to start from to calm him down. 

“S-Shizu-chan?” 

Izaya couldn’t help but stutter, despite himself. He had just reached the place, and he knew very well that this kind of anger was directed towards him and not Kadota. As soon as Shizuo’s eyes caught him, they gleamed, and Shizuo instantly started taking large steps towards where Izaya was standing.

Another feeling Izaya was experiencing for the first time in that camp, was not only the feeling of helplessness, it was the entrapment. You wanted to run for your life but there simply wasn’t any place you could go. His legs were ordering him to run, run the hell out of there, his life was depending on it, but his brain knew very well that if he did that, the consequences would be even worse. Far worse. But as he saw Shizuo stomping towards him, like he was out for blood, coming onto him like a frenzied beast, he couldn’t help it. He took two steps backwards.

He knew it was a mistake the moment he did it. He didn’t need to hear Shizuo roar: “DON’T YOU DARE TO RUN AWAY FROM ME!” As he finally lashed at him. Izaya barely managed to shield his face with both of his arms, to be later quite surprised by the fact that Shizuo just grabbed them instead of trying to punch through them.

“I-I wasn’t trying to…”

“SHUT UP!” Shizuo violently shook him, shoving Izaya’s arms away from his face. Kadota wanted to stop Shizuo but he wouldn’t dare to interfere. “Shut up, don’t you fucking talk back to me!”

“Please calm down, what did I do?” Izaya’s tone was just the tiniest bit desperate. He knew that he was in for a lot of pain, and if Shizuo had happened to come to know certain things, he was in for a very violent and ugly death. “What did I do?” He had to know what he was being accused of.

That made Shizuo pause for some moments, suddenly realizing that Izaya hadn’t done something he hadn’t done before. He also realized that he was always assuming, when Izaya was leaving, that he was with Kadota, namely with someone Shizuo trusted. But there was no guarantee for that. “Where have you been?” He asked, seemingly calmer than before.

“I was just walking around. Why? What happened?” As Shizuo remained silent, Izaya turned to Kadota. “Dota-chin? Did something happen?” 

Suddenly, the hand around his tightened so much it brought forth almost unbearable pain. He cried out, as Shizuo, dragged him towards their tent. They would have gotten in, if Kadota hadn’t stepped forward. 

Shizuo looked at him, this close to snap. “Move it, Kadota.”

Kadota shot him one of those looks of his, the one that was both disappointed and condescending at the same time. “You’re too violent, Shizuo. Especially with him.” He motioned towards Izaya. “He didn’t do anything. Let him go.” 

“Are you fucking ordering me around?” Shizuo snarled. “Move before I remove you!”

“I know how much you hate violence, Shizuo!” Kadota bravely stood his ground. After all, he wasn’t doing any of this because he wanted to help Izaya. Sure, him too, but the first one he wanted to help, was Shizuo. “What the hell happened?”

That was a question Shizuo didn’t know how to answer. He didn’t know what had happened. Izaya’s face, voice, manners, his insults, his seductiveness, and even his absence, all of them were playing with Shizuo’s nerves, pushing him to his limits. Just about everything in him were lighting up a fire that refused to burn out. 

At the same moment that he loosened up his hold on Izaya, he heard him speak: “Ah, Dota-chin, it’s really kind of you to worry about us, but really, there is no reason for it.” He said as he stepped forward, with Shizuo still grabbing him above the wrist. “If there’s a problem, we’ll solve it ourselves. And Shizu-chan is not as violent as you would think. That, I can assure you.” 

“Shut up you.” Shizuo murmured and finally shoved Izaya inside the tent, as Kadota was left with no other choice than to step aside. He then just looked at Kadota, who returned the look, and without saying anything, he stepped inside as well. He could barely hear Kadota sigh and then quietly walking away.

“Seriously, Shizu-chan, what is it? If you’re being this possessive, you won’t be popular with the girls.” Izaya commented, and then casually stepped aside and avoided the punch coming at him. “I mean,” he continued, “everyone digs a little bit of jealousy from time to time, but in your case it has a heavy cost!” 

“Do you think I want to care about where you are and what you’re doing with whom?” Shizuo spat out. “You are my fucking responsibility until God damn knows when! I won’t have you running around anymore!”

“Shizu-chan, you kept me to speak your language and if I had stayed here with you all day, honestly, all I’d know by now would still be ‘understand’.” 

“And it would have been perfect!”

“Well, then, do it!” Izaya finally snapped, stomping towards Shizuo like Shizuo had previously did to him, locking eyes with him, his suddenly filled with malice. “Do it, get it over with! Rape me, kill me, get this fucking farce over with! Negotiations? Do you monsters really need negotiations? I’m not needed anyway, so you might as well get it over with me, since I annoy you so much, like the fucking beast you are!”

With every single one of Izaya’s words, Shizuo felt himself slipping further into the darkness. The walls of the tent were shrinking around him, drowning him, making it hard for him to breathe. All he felt was an irresistible urge to destroy everything that surrounded him, Izaya included. He hated himself for as long as he could remember, and taking Izaya in had only served to make things worse. And the worst part was that he knew and yet, he couldn’t restrain himself. If he did as told, Izaya would win, but Shizuo had no way to prevent himself for succumbing to violence. No, it looked like they would both lose. And this was probably the way it would end for both of them.

Izaya noticed the way Shizuo’s eyes were filled with void and he immediately regretted his words. The moment Shizuo lifted his hand up to strike, he delved his hand into the sleeve of his yukata, grabbing tightly his well hidden knife, but without taking it out.

Maybe God felt sorry for them and he decided to interfere at that moment.

“Shizuo! What are you doing? We need you to organize the first line!” A slightly annoyed Tom said, as he walked inside the tent. He noticed how both of them were standing, but their fights never were something new for anyone. “Come on, we’re going to leave as soon as the night falls, we’re already back on schedule!” 

Those simple words instantly brought Shizuo back in his senses. He realized in terror that he was about to destroy the person in front of him, provoked only by words they used to throw at each other daily. “I’ll be right there, Commander Tom.” He said, as he lowered his hand. “Just give me a couple of minutes; I’ll be right behind you.” 

“Okay, I’ll be waiting, but try to make it short.” With those words, Tom left as quickly as he had come. Shizuo thanked him from the bottom of his heart, for the mere reason that this person existed. 

Shizuo looked at Izaya again, this time completely composed. “I’m going to leave now.” He announced. “I don’t know when I’ll be back. Probably near dawn. Don’t leave the tent…   
and keep the knife.” 

Izaya was taken aback. Shizuo had noticed and yet he hadn’t said anything until then. He wasn’t even angry. “How do you know it’s a knife? It could be small gun.”

“I just thought a knife would suit you better… whatever.” Shizuo said, as he turned to leave. “Just hold on to it, in any case.” 

“Shizuo.”

Shizuo turned back again to look at him. When Izaya was calling him by his normal name, it meant that he had something important to say. “What?” 

“You don’t need me, but I need you.” 

If there was something Shizuo could say for certain, it was that he knew Izaya’s eyes. When he was teasing, when he hid something, when he was serious. “I know.” He just said, and then finally left. 

His head was a mess. 

He didn’t know what Izaya was thinking. He didn’t know what he wanted to do with him. He didn’t know how he felt about him. The only definite thing was that he was psychologically wearing him out all day, and then soothing him when they slept next to each other at night, just by being there. That was the only time they were never arguing, they were both just shutting up, as they felt natural and comfortable. 

Shizuo’s was still contemplating Izaya’s last words, as he lit up another one of his cigarettes, not paying much attention to the people running up and down in preparations for the upcoming battle. When they finally marched forward, it was already evening. All this time, Shizuo just wondered if those words were Izaya’s way to tell him to take care, but he still doubted it. Firstly, there was next to zero possibility of anything seriously harm to befall him. Secondly, Izaya hated his guts. Thirdly, he had just tried to kill him. 

He didn’t know what bugged him so much. Something had stricken a nerve even before Izaya showed up, but he couldn’t exactly place what it was. And even without taking that into account, his gut was just giving out a very bad premonition. Something would happen, but he didn’t know when or where. 

When they attacked the last village in their agenda, Shizuo stayed behind, deciding not to interfere until the right time, to give the final blow. That was what he always did, a usual tactic Tom used, but always, someone would appear that would make Shizuo lose his nerve much more quickly and go on that destructive spree he despised so much. He was certain that it would happen again, but he wanted to contain it for as long as it was possible. He had almost already done it just a few hours ago, and he was this close to find himself without someone waiting for him back home.

Then it dawned on him. He had someone waiting for him to come back. He had someone that was asking for him. He had someone that needed him. Even if everything was forced upon them, that fact remained. He had someone he had to protect, no matter how much they might despise each other. Wasn’t that… wasn’t that something that no one else had, in this fucked up world of theirs? Wasn’t it something good? Because it felt good. Every time he would come back and Izaya was waiting for him, seeing him always felt good. No matter the fights, the insults, or… 

An arrow ripped the air and was darted right beside his head, piercing the bole of a nearby tree. Patience time was officially over for Shizuo, as he roared and threw himself into battle, earlier than expected as always.

When everything was over and they started getting back, he was twice as tired as he usually was. By then, the natives had already realized the danger those green people were posing, and they were often finding many abandoned villages, to see those people later on, gathered together, barricaded and trying to put up a fight, always in vain as it seemed. But as a result, the fights were much longer than before, and twice as tiring. Shizuo had also lost sight of Tom and Kadota. He didn’t worry about their safety, but he didn’t quite fancy getting back on his own. It felt lonelier than it should. 

Most of the soldiers had already caught women like they always did, but now they would start to keep some, so everybody had gone in different places and Shizuo was essentially literally left all alone, just outside the camp. He always had to walk alone at that area anyway, because no one would ever go straight to the tents, especially at the outer side of the camp, but now it seemed even emptier. 

He was only fifty steps away from the first tents when he noticed something getting dropped at his feet. He frowned, as he looked down, perplexed and annoyed. His eyes widened as he realized what it was, but he didn’t have the time to do much else. The grenade popped open, releasing a thick gas of a deep purple color, which hit Shizuo straight in the face. In his surprise, he inhaled, getting a good dose out of it. Immediately, his limbs were suddenly weighing seven tones each, and he crashed face down onto the ground, unable to move even his little finger.

Shizuo just stayed where he fell for a couple of minutes, not as much in shock as trying to discern what has just happened. When he found himself unable to move, he let out a pained growl, as he was trying so hard but failing to gain control of his body. He could clearly hear and see though, and he didn’t miss the snickers coming from all around him.  
His field of vision was limited from his fell down position, but he did see some of his fellow soldiers gathering up all around him, wearing their green military clothes and protective masks around their heads. 

“Take them off now; the air has cleared up.” Their leader said, as he took off his own mask, revealing his face, upon which was plastered a dirty grin. 

Shizuo’s eyes widened in realization, and then narrowed in absolute wrath. “Shaaaaaaazeeeesh…!” He needed to muster all of his strength just to utter the other’s name. “What… doing… bastard…” 

“Hey, guys, look at him!” Shazesh’s voice undoubtedly had a triumphant tone, as his lackeys started laughing out loud now. “Look at him! The great Heiwajima Shizuo! All it took to defeat him was just some paralyzing gas! Who’s laughing NOW?” He spat onto the ground, and walked without hesitation right in front of Shizuo’s head. “Who’s laughing now, hmm?” 

“Fucking… bastard!” Shizuo struggled to say, and he didn’t cry out when Shazesh kneeled down, grabbed him by the hair and lifted his head up, close to his. His teeth were clenched and his eyes were shut, but no voice escaped his mouth. 

“You messed with one of my bros, and this is what you got for it!” Shazesh’s voice sounded more than venomous and dangerous, as Shizuo shot him an enraged look. “Well, this and… I never really liked you, you know?” More laughter escaped his followers, as Shazesh’s face twisted in a sadistic expression. “You should be grateful, Heiwajima. I never liked you, and yet, I’m going to take such good care of you!” He said, as he took a knife out of its sheath and licked it, so close to Shizuo’s face that he could see his facial muscles churning in disgust. “Grab him, boys!” 

Getting more than enough reassured for what had just transpired, Shazesh’s men didn’t waste any time. One grabbed him by the leg, another from the arm, and others followed to assist them. Shizuo suddenly found himself in a nightmarish swirl of hands pulling at his clothes and grabbing his body, thing that only served to get him more furious than he already was. With his wrath blinding him, his body moved without too much thought of how impossible it was. He kicked someone away, shoved away someone else, fought as hard as he could without stopping to spare a second thought of how bad the situation was. 

“Shazesh! Shazesh, he can move!” One of his men screamed, terrified, reminded of what had happened to their friend back then.

“Don’t panic! He got a good dose; he can’t move that much. Stab him!” Their leader said and he lowered the knife with force, digging it right into Shizuo’s right shoulder. Shizuo cried out in agony, giving Shazesh an even more beastly look than before. “Stab him! Nowhere vital yet, but stab him!” Shazesh repeated his order, and his men didn’t hesitate for a second time to follow it. 

Shizuo didn’t normally feel much pain. All he felt was his body growing heavier by the second. When he realized that half a dozen of people had started burying their knives maniacally inside the flesh of his arms and legs, and when the ground around him was painted red, it was the first time that a pang of fear shot through him. He might actually die there. As he stopped resisting, and his vision started getting clouded, he vaguely remembered Izaya. Had the same thing happened to him? Would it? Would he be unable to protect him? The thought of death was scary, it was scarier than he had thought... 

“Stop, enough.” Shazesh ordered, sweat running down his temples from the intense exercise. “Turn him around. It’s time for the main event, and I need a clear look of his face for that.” 

As Shizuo felt hands rolling him on his back, he did a last desperate try to get his eyes to focus somewhere. He felt some hands holding him down, while others were pulling his legs apart, and suddenly, he saw Shazesh hovering over him. The realization struck him and made it easier for him to regain his senses, as his mind cleared up in a terrifying speed. “Get… off…” He managed, anger boiling inside him once again. 

“No darling, I’m not getting off. I said I’m going to take good care of you, didn’t I?” Shazesh shook gaudily the knife he was holding. “Lay back, my dear Shizuo. Uncle Shazesh is going to make you feel reeeeeeal good right now!” He said, as he licked his lips, and lowered slowly the knife, delving it beneath Shizuo’s leather waistband and ripping it apart viciously with a swift movement. 

Shizuo couldn’t help but let out a desperate, furious scream, when he felt hands working on the zipper of his pants. His whole body was rejecting the hands that caught him but there they were, still violating his wishes. No matter how much it shook to throw them off, it was futile. 

“Yes, scream! Come on, scream some more! Scream!” Shazesh’s entire body was trembling too, but in excitement, as he was currently experiencing the most intense hard on he ever had. “Fight more! Come on! Resist, you bitch! Fight me! You can’t!” He said, as he lifted up his knife once again, ready to tear Shizuo’s clothes completely. “You CA-“

“STOP IT RIGHT THERE!” 

Everything froze. Shazesh remained unmoving for some seconds, until he finally lifted his head up, to see Kadota, only some feet away, aiming at him with a rifle. 

In sheer disbelief, he looked around. Togusa, Yumasaki, and many others, were pointing guns at them, too close to miss. He looked in front again, and he saw their Commander, Tom, slowly walking towards them, wearing an unforgiving expression of sheer disappointment.

“It’s over.” Tom said, so coldly that the temperature might have actually dropped. “Put your knives down and stand up. Get away from him. I won’t repeat myself.”

Shazesh was just left there, looking at him, without moving a muscle.

It was over?

No.

It was FAR from over!


	10. Chapter 10

“I told you I won’t repeat myself!” Tom’s voice was turning even more menacing by the second. “What are you waiting for?”

Shazesh’s men were so petrified that they barely managed to move their heads towards their leader, expecting the crucial reaction out of him. All of them could easily understand how extremely bad their position was, and talking their way out of it didn’t seem like a possible choice. So they hung onto their leader for dear life, as they didn’t have any clue which way they should react in order not to worsen their already catastrophic position. One of them tried talking: “Sha-“

“DON’T YOU FUCKING MOVE!” Shazesh himself roared, as he grabbed Shizuo by the hair and stuck the knife close to the skin of his neck, so close that he slightly cut him and blood ran out. “NOBODY MOVES, OR I’LL FUCKING CUT HIM LIKE A PIG! GOT IT?”

Nobody moved or said anything indeed, but it was clear inside Tom’s narrowed eyes that his patience was running thin. 

“Sha-Shazesh, maybe we should just… I mean, what do you hope to gain from this? What are we supposed to do?” One of his men stuttered, trying to interfere. 

“SHUT UP! Put your tiny, nonexistent brains to work for once, just for once, you goddamn, fucking, stupid idiots!” Shazesh spat at them, his composure already gone. “What do you think is going to happen if we give ourselves up, huh? Undergo a fucking trial? Here? Do you even know where you are?” The desperation in his voice was well masked under his infuriation. “They’ll shoot us in cold blood! That’s what they are going to do!” 

“Then we would just have shot you without warning you to stop.” Tom informed him, as coldly as before. “Don’t make me regret that decision now. I’m going to tell you for the last time-“

“Aye, Commander, sure. You’ve got your position to think about. But to us, those fake politics don’t mean shit!” Shazesh said, as he grabbed Shizuo by the collar and lifted him up, as much as he could, because Shizuo had apparently lost too much blood to be able to stand on his own feet. Then, without ever removing the knife from his neck, he used his left arm and his left leg to support Shizuo’s weight. It was like an absurd and horrid hug.

Tom’s heart tightened as he watched his friend’s body soaked in its own blood, barely containing his consciousness. His limbs in particular were wounded terribly. Seeing Shizuo like this, with someone else’s knife on his neck, reminded him that Shizuo was indeed a human being. Strangely, Tom didn’t like that. He didn’t like seeing Shizuo weak. 

Before he could say anything, Shazesh got to him: “So? My dear Commander? Do you want to know if your bullets are faster than my knife on his neck? You’re welcome to try, but you know, my body MIGHT make an abrupt movement, you never know! Well?”

As Tom didn’t do or say anything, Shazesh was frantically trying to look for some way to escape. Tom wouldn’t listen to an order of lowering their guns. He couldn’t due to his position as Commander. And it would be way too risky to order his men to pull their own guns out. On top of all that, more people had started gathering around, curious and then scandalized about the crisis that had occurred, forgetting even their women. He had to stall some more time, though he didn’t know what to wait for.

“So, you won’t move huh?” Shazesh finally decided to lay all of his cards down. “Of course you wouldn’t! You wouldn’t risk for that dear friend of yours! So dear, that you even covered for him when he beat up OUR pal! But you’d be willing to point your guns us, who are only serving justice!”

“Shizuo was acting in the line of his duty when he attacked your ‘pal’!” Tom raised his voice, enraged but still maintaining his composure. “I ordered him to protect a certain man; your ‘pal’, and all of you, were about to harm the object of that order, so he acted! Enlighten me, how is this, the same as premeditated rape and murder, as well as theft of vital supplies?”

Then it dawned on Shazesh. There was also someone else in this game. “Well, then, you could always bring me that object, and everything would be peaceful and even again!” His face gleamed. “Go on! Bring him!” As Tom wasn’t moving, he changed the tone: “BRING HIM, I said!” He roared, burying the knife deeper into Shizuo’s neck and drawing out more blood. “Bring me that whore of his you so generously gave him! Bring me Izaya!” 

Before Tom could harshly reply, he felt a hand grabbing momentarily his arm, softly and reassuringly. 

“And I thought I heard my name.”

Tom simply watched as the black haired man, clothed in those black robes, walked past him and headed slowly but confidently forward. He couldn’t exactly place what he was reminding him of, not right at that moment. 

“Good thing you said the name Izaya of course, but I had a feeling it was about me since the ‘whore’ pronunciation, to be frank.” Izaya nonchalantly commented. “So?” He turned at Shazesh. 

He didn’t have to talk loudly for Shazesh to understand what he wanted to say. Shazesh was certain that Izaya was blaming him for the failure, and looking like a failure to Izaya’s eyes, was more depressing and humiliating than he had ever thought. “You’re coming with us!”

“Really?” Izaya chuckled. “And where exactly do you plan on going?” He said, as he folded his arms across his chest. 

“Somewhere that I can drop you on all fours, and fuck you like a bitch, dreaming that I’m fucking his cute little brother!” He said, as his grip on Shizuo tightened even more. 

It didn’t need much more.

Suddenly, Shazesh felt the hand that was holding the knife to Shizuo’s neck being seized, effectively immobilized. He could only watch in a few moments of terror, as Shizuo opened his eyes and glared bloody death at him, literally also baring his fangs. In the next moments, Shizuo’s legs had a firm hold of the ground, as he got up and with one swift movement, threw Shazesh’s body on top of some of his men, like it belonged to a ragdoll. 

The image of the bloody, tortured and drugged Shizuo, managing to stand up and displaying such an overwhelming form of violence, like a beast that had climbed its way straight from the depths of hell, would forever be engraved in the memories of everyone who saw him that day. Izaya felt again that shiver running through his spine, as he couldn’t take his eyes off of Shizuo, yet again. He was admiring how much non-human his reactions, no, his entire nature was. Shazesh’s reactions were much more humane. But Shizuo was way out of everybody else’s league, thing that Izaya already knew and hated from the bottom of his heart. 

Humans are interesting. Humans are loveable.

Animals are not. And they can’t be this beautiful. 

Monsters can’t be this beautiful. 

The moment, however, was short lived, as that very image was a step more terrifying than anything even soldiers like them ever had to face. Seeing their boss thrown in the air, two of his men couldn’t restrain themselves. They screamed in utter terror and desperation, as they pulled out their guns and pointed them at Shizuo.

“MORONS!” Shazesh managed to shoot himself up from his landing position in a matter of milliseconds, when he saw what they had just done, and tried to start running towards them. “STO-“ 

“FIRE!”

Tom didn’t have to repeat this order. The same moment it rained bullets mercilessly on that half dozen of men, without any of them managing to pull the trigger at Shizuo, needless to say about defending themselves. Shazesh’s body took the most damage and it shook violently before finally falling face down unceremoniously, having sustained injuries from so many bullets that he was beyond any hope of salvation.

When every single one of them fell, everything suddenly got quiet. For some moments, nobody dared to move, until Shizuo, barely registering that the immediate danger was over, let his body give itself up in exhaustion and fell down as well. 

“Shizuo!” Kadota yelled and ran towards him, with many others following his example. Izaya observed them with a slight interest but casually walked past them. He had something a bit more interesting to see. 

Most of Shazesh’s men were already dead. Some soldiers had started giving them the final headshots, in order to either ensure they were dead, or spare them the torture of a slow death. But Izaya was interested in only one. 

And as expected, the worst dogs always die last. 

Shazesh was barely clinging to life when Izaya came and stood in front of him, his feet only a step away from the other guy’s face. Shazesh understood and tried to look up, struggling while coughing blood and convulsing. The pain was so intense that it just didn’t feel real at the moment.

So close. He was so close! 

That was the only thing he could think of as his eyes traveled up to Izaya’s body, finally reaching his unreadable face. He was so close of achieving undeniable recognition! He was so close of standing on top of everyone! He was so close of obtaining everything! He was so close of taking Izaya and making him his! 

Where? Where had it gone wrong?

And suddenly, Izaya’s lips twisted it up in a wide, wolfish grin, as his eyes narrowed in pure malice. In the next two seconds Shazesh had left to live, he understood everything, but he didn’t even have the time to get angry. As he watched in terror the devil smiling down at him, with eyes that gleamed red, he passed away drown in feelings of betrayal and self-loathing, and the image of his older sister, with a cigarette in her hands, telling him she would reward his pure love if he just got her those dreamy blue pills that take you up away in the sky. 

When Izaya watched the light extinguishing from the other man’s eyes, he had the irresistible urge to laugh like there was no tomorrow. It was extremely hard to restrain himself. It was even harder to stop himself from starting stomping on Shazesh’s head and bashing it into the ground. He had hoped for an infuriated reaction instead of an awed one, but the man hadn’t had that much time to live, as it seemed. 

Well, whatever. He could go and apologize to all that ‘meat’, as he had said, in the depths of hell, if it existed. Izaya had now other, more important things to occupy himself with, as he glanced towards Shizuo’s side. 

It would be one day later that Shizuo would open his eyes. Of course, he couldn’t know how much time had passed. He just opened his eyes and found himself looking at the ceiling of the tent. He tried to stand up in a sitting position but his body felt uncharacteristically heavy as he rose. He looked down and found himself covered all over in bandages.

“Uh-uh, Shizu-chan, you shouldn’t get up yet!” A very familiar voice chirped next to him.

“Huuuh? I told you to not call me by that name, you fucking bastard!” Shizuo turned right and came face to face with the object of his eternal, as it seemed, irritation, which was sitting next to him and smiling like Christmas had arrived six months earlier… not that he knew what Christmas was. “What the hell happened? Why do I look like the fucking mummy?” 

“Whose mom?” Izaya was momentarily taken aback. 

“Not THAT mommy! Mummy! It… forget it!” Shizuo could easily forget that Izaya still didn’t know everything about his world. As he shook his head, he realized that he had bandages wrapped even around his neck. Then he remembered the feeling of the knife on his throat, and everything slowly started falling back into place. “Shit…” He whispered, as he closed his eyes, reminiscing of those appalling memories. “Shit… Those bastards…”

“I see your vocabulary is as rich as always.”

“Do you want to die, HUH?” Shizuo reacted automatically at the usual sarcasm, but when he tried to raise his hand to threaten that insect with a punch, it felt like it weighted tones. “What the FUCK! I can’t even-“ 

“No, Shizu-chan was injured quite heavily in this incident.” Izaya said, unable to refrain from smiling and not willing to hide it either. “That being said, I’m under the pleasant position to take care of you until you recover! Shizu-chan might be a monster so he doesn’t feel any pain, but the doctor said that your condition is actually pretty bad, so you need to let yourself in my hands for now! Amazing, isn’t it?”

“Please, hide your tears. Your concern about my wellbeing is so heart breaking, I don’t know if I can handle it!” Shizuo replied, with a vein popping dangerously on his forehead. 

“You bastard! Is it so pleasant for you that I ended up in this mess, huh?” 

“Now you’re offending me!” Izaya said as he got up, and dusted himself off a bit, still smiling. “I told you that I need you, Shizu-chan. Why would I enjoy it if something bad happened to you?” He said as he turned around, and headed towards where they kept their supplies. “Although I admit,” he cut Shizuo off the moment he opened his mouth to retort, “that it was nice to see you in my place for a change. Well… not exactly… nice… but you know what I mean.” He concluded, the smile barely remaining on his lips, as he looked through the food they had. 

Shizuo huffed. “And just what’s telling you that I hadn’t already been in that place.” 

He watched Izaya’s back as the black haired man completely froze. “What do you mean?” His merry tone was suddenly gone.

“Get real! I came in this place when I was sixteen!” Shizuo shot at him, while suddenly wishing for a cigarette. “I’ve lost count of the times scums have tried to get me! When I first came here, that must have been the time when I was most scolded. I kept beating them next to death. Most of them gave up when I grew up a little, but from time to time there are idiots like that… where did you put my cigarettes?” 

“Did anyone succeed?” Izaya’s voice was unusually serious. 

“What? Do you know me? Of course not!” Shizuo exclaimed. “ …But I have to confess that this last one was a closer call than anything ever before.” He involuntarily shuddered at the thought, but he was capable of hiding it. Izaya had his back turned at him anyway. “That damn Shazesh… stealing that grenade… this was far more serious for the army than doing me or getting me out of the way. I can’t tell if he was being brave or plain stupid!” 

“Why is a grenade more serious?” Izaya asked, as he returned next to Shizuo, holding a canteen. “In your world, objects are weighing more than human lives?” He asked as he sat beside him again. 

Shizuo looked at him like he knew that Izaya was mocking him, thing that he ninety-nine per cent did. “Why? In your world it was different?” 

Izaya looked at him. “Shizu-chan says some good stuff from time to time.” He said, as he untapped the canteen. 

“What the hell was good from what you heard.” Shizuo commented but without any irritation in his voice. “To make things short; my life wouldn’t cost one tenth of what one of those grenades would.”

“Then Shizu-chan is lucky to have such good friends that rushed to his rescue. Even with the grenade used… right?”

Shizuo didn’t say anything. He didn’t like Izaya’s tone, and more, he absolutely hated his roundabout ways. He kept looking at him with narrowed eyes, until Izaya opened his mouth to speak again, swiftly beating him to it. “When you said you needed me… before I left…” He questioned. “What did you mean by that?” 

“I don’t know. What could I have possibly meant?” 

“Answer me.”

“I’m not answering things you already know.” Izaya maintained his smile, but his eyes hardened imperceptibly. “If you cease to be here, I’ll become a fuck toy of nearly five hundred men. Or if you simply decide to give me away. I need you. I can’t save myself in any other way. You are not fucking me, though, and that means you don’t actually need me, in any way, so I’m left depending on the good will of a monster. That’s what I meant.”

“I’ll never be a human being for you, will I? Not that I care.” Shizuo shrugged. “It’s fine. I’m not asking you to change your opinion, in fact, that would be weird.” In absolute fact, his own words were weird to Shizuo’s ears, since it wasn’t even his opinion. “Where did you put my cigarettes?” He asked again. 

Izaya was left speechless for some seconds, but then decided to lessen the tension a bit. “I’ll give them to you later. Now you’ve got to eat something.” He handed him the canteen. “Drink, it’s soup. You’ve been out cold for an entire day, they said it’s better if you drink that first.”

Shizuo silently took the canteen and started drinking, first quietly and then, unbelievably hungrily. He had forgotten how much hungry he actually was, he hadn’t even eaten anything after the battle. As he drunk, he couldn’t help but think that he was extremely lucky to be able to taste this soup. He might have died back then. He was a soldier and yet he hadn’t learned that every day could be his last, as it seemed. And he had never before thought about it. Due to his strength, he found himself under the illusion of safety, and that proved to be very wrong. He didn’t have anything particular to do with his life, but still, he wanted to live another day. He felt like he had things he wanted to do, even if he didn’t know them exactly yet. 

When he finished, he gave the canteen at Izaya, and turned his attention back at him. They might not be alive to see the next day, either one of them. And then… what?

When Izaya tried to get up and put the object in his hands back in his place, Shizuo grabbed him by the hand, right above the wrist. “What?” Izaya asked, a bit bewildered. “Oh!”   
He realized. “I’ll get your cigarettes, don’t worry.” 

“I don’t want any cigarettes.”

Izaya lifted up his eyebrow. “Really? Since when?”

“Okay, I DO, but that’s not what I meant!” Damn him and his games with words. “Izaya…” 

“What do you want, Shizu-chan?” Izaya sighed, exasperated. From time to time, Shizuo acted like a child. 

“I have been wondering… what do you like the most?” 

“Humans and fatty tuna, and you’re neither.” Izaya gave a deadpan reply, as he shook his hand away from Shizuo’s grasp with a swift movement. Of course that would have been impossible if Shizuo hadn’t let go of his own. “What does Shizu-chan like the most though? Not that I really care.” He asked as he got up to finally put the canteen back. 

Shizuo mumbled something that Izaya didn’t hear, and since he was convinced that it was curses towards his person, he didn’t even ask again. He simply returned, handed Shizuo his cigarettes, and then casually tried to get into the sheets and lie next to him. “What are you doing?” Shizuo asked, a bit surprised.

“Since someone was in bad condition for so many hours, I actually haven’t had enough sleep since then.” Izaya informed him. “Smoke in here if you want, I’m used to it anyway. Just let me sleep for some time, okay?”

“Okay. I will.” Shizuo nodded. “If you answer me two questions.” 

“What.” Izaya said through gritted teeth. He really hadn’t slept at all. He had spent all those hours next to Shizuo, hoping that no one who would be suddenly feeling sympathetic towards Shazesh would come to deal with them both. It was an absurd thought, but not one he could suppress with logic, even if he was willing to take the risk from the start. And now, for a reason, he suddenly felt extremely tired, even though he was so hyper when Shizuo finally woke up. 

“What happened to Shazesh and his gang?”

“They all died. Commander Tom ordered to shoot them the moment they pointed their guns at you. Nobody survived.”

“I see.” Shizuo simply said. “And one last thing.” Izaya kept silent so he continued: “What job did you do before we came here? What did you work as?”

Izaya turned and looked up at him from his lying down position, genuinely surprised. “What good would it do for you to know that?” 

“I just want to know. Is it that bad?”

“You know, it is, since you pretty much came and destroyed everything!”

“Don’t start acting all sentimental on me! Like you cared!” 

“Hmm? So Shizu-chan has such a bad opinion of me that he thinks I’m fine even if you barge into my world, kill and rape everyone around me, taking away my freedom and preventing me from seeing everyone I ever knew ever again. Is that right?” Beneath Izaya’s calm façade, his boiling anger was slowly emerging. He knew that he shouldn’t keep up with it, because otherwise, even if Shizuo was injured, he could easily end up with his head bashed into the ground. 

“Not fine, but…” This was one of the rarest times Shizuo didn’t want to start a fight. “Whatever, just go to sleep.” He eventually gave up, lighting up his cigarette and trying to exhale the smoke away from Izaya. He was too wounded to get up and get out, that he could understand, but he also just had too much sleep to lie down again. Plus, the sun was up and it bothered him to no end. So he just decided he would stay sitting next to Izaya for the time being. 

“Shizu-chan.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Are you TRYING to make me hit you?” Shizuo finally snapped. “Okay! Alright! Enough! I get it! I’m not asking you anything ever again! Happy? Now, are you happy?” 

When Izaya started laughing, it baffled Shizuo to no end. Like many things Izaya did, but Shizuo had the vague feeling that if he always assumed the worst, it would be the right guess. And now the worst guess was that Izaya was just messing with him, like always, as he kept laughing on and on and on. “Really, Shizu-chan, you’re so cute sometimes!” 

“Fuck you!”

“Yeah, yeah, okay!” Izaya managed to say between giggles, wiping slightly the corners of his eyes were tears from the intense laughter had gathered, while Shizuo was doing an internal countdown until the punch would escape him. “Anyway. I wasn’t doing anything flashy, or grandiose like your kind. I was just… let’s say… running some errands for some people slightly more important than me? It’s not that much different than what I’m… trying to do now.”

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. “You know the word ‘grandiose’ after two months and then you’re trying to make me believe that you weren’t doing something important?” 

“Ah, I told you Shizu-chan. We’re not the same as you. The fact that I wasn’t working in the fields to grow a grain of rice or wrestle with the waves to catch a tiny fish all year long, in order to have something to eat, is saying something. Plus, I thought I told you; Fear is one of the greatest teachers.”

“You didn’t have to be afraid. I told you I would protect you!” Shizuo protested. Okay they fought a lot but Tom had given him a certain order. 

Izaya buried his face in the pillow in pure exasperation. “Yes, Shizu-chan. You’re so reliable! I think we still have that one crater you opened in the ground next to my ear last time.”

“You can dodge. It’s fine.”

“Yeah, yeah…” 

“And you’re asking for it.”

“We’ve had this conversation before and it didn’t end well. Let me sleep.”

“IIIIIIIZAAAAAAYAAA YOU BASTARD, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO-“ 

As Kadota happened to walk near the tent, the voices reached his ears once again. One day break was over, now things would start to get livelier once again. God help them.


	11. Chapter 11

It proved to be quite difficult for Tom to clean up the mess Shazesh and his men had caused. His troops had already fallen way behind of schedule and they urgently needed to move on, they didn’t have any time to spare dealing with explanations, speeches about discipline, burying dead bodies or tending to the injured. Well, the last part seemed to work itself out quite easily, granted that Shizuo was up and kicking (and punching and screaming and fighting and whatever consisted of Shizuo) just in the next day. Well, Shizuo was a miraculous being in various ways, since always, but now his fellow soldiers were even more fearful of him than they ever were before. Somehow, somebody spread the rumor that Shizuo was immortal; it started circulating like fire in an oil factory and now, many were barely restraining themselves from groveling into the ground every time he passed them by. And that of course pissed him off. 

With a heavier burden than usual on his shoulders, postponing any speeches and explanations and throwing the dead bodies off a nearby cliff, Tom had ordered his battalion to march forward. There was a small problem trying to persuade Shizuo to give his stuff to others to carry because of his injuries, but Izaya managed to talk him into it… although usually Izaya was the last person Shizuo would listen to. 

They had ended up becoming a huge problem, Tom was thinking, but now the damage was already done. Shizuo was always a source of conflict inside the army and now this conflict had escalated to the point of getting six people killed. Tom just hoped that this would be the last time violence would break out inside the troops because of him. Now all that hung in the air was an uncomfortable aura of terror and idolization but at least nobody would dare to go out of their way to attack Shizuo… or anything that would be considered his. 

Izaya baffled Tom quite a bit. The third day after they moved he called to meet him, asking if he knew where they were heading and better ways to go there. Izaya proved to be very reasonable, cooperative and pleasant. He was without a doubt a clever man and something about him made Tom feel that he should be very cautious, because there wasn’t even the slightest speck of doubt that Izaya had a very solid reason to hate them all. His black clothed form reminded Tom of a Death Reaper, but when he talked to him there was also no doubt that the knowledge he possessed was too valuable to lose at the present time. But maybe soon it wouldn’t be. What would he do then, leave him at Shizuo’s discretion? The more familiar they got with each other, the more they seemed to fight. But even if Shizuo was the one who’d easily break his own toys, he wasn’t someone fond of giving them to anyone else in any case. In a way, Izaya was a good match for him, because he didn’t seem the one to break so easily.

With a head full of those and even more worrisome thoughts, Tom ordered them to settle down in an open meadow area, near a forest, at the fifth day of the march. It was time for everyone to find their usual rhythm once again and rest. There still were problems, especially with those who had gotten women at the last raid, but they would have to wait to be dealt with. As he was ready to enter his own tent and retire for the day, he noticed from the corner of his eye, Kadota and Shizuo walking around and talking. Thank God there was someone else aside himself that Shizuo could have a decent conversation with, he thought, as he got in, ready to take a much needed nap. 

“Seriously, Shizuo, your regenerating abilities are something else.” Kadota commented as they walked together. “You were so beat up and it’s like nothing happened, not even a week afterwards! No wonder everyone is treating you like a deity. So you don’t have to be so pissed-“

“I’d be fucking damned if I stayed one more minute in bed with that fucking insect smiling above me!” Shizuo snapped, leaving Kadota with no more room for negotiations. 

“Ah. So that was the reason…”

“Besides,” Shizuo continued, less irritated, “it’s not like I couldn’t move. I just felt a little heavy, that’s all.” 

“That’s what I mean, you’re something else.” Kadota kept at it. “Though if we had been there a bit later, I don’t know what would have happened…”

“Yeah… I need to thank you about that…” Shizuo nodded, suddenly feeling humble. “But… how did you know?”

“Doctor Lynch told us. Seems like one of them went and told everything to their comrade, the one you beat up then. The doctor overheard and told us… at least that’s what he said.”

“I see… Makes sense.” 

“Yeah…”

They both decided to ignore the tugging feeling in the back of their minds, since they didn’t know what exactly bothered them. In Kadota’s case, whatever might have happened it helped him save Shizuo. In Shizuo’s case, he didn’t like thinking much. 

“Kadota.” Shizuo suddenly said, taking his usual cigarette off his lips. “Life is pretty short, isn’t it?” 

“I don’t know about your case, but generally yeah, it is.” Kadota teased him a bit with a sad smile. “It’s a shame not to be able to at least chase after what you desire.” 

Izaya’s image pierced through Shizuo’s brain like a poisonous arrow. “AAAAAAAARGH!” He screamed, seemingly out of the blue, and punched the ground, creating an even bigger crater than usual, essentially forcing all the others around to make themselves scarce. 

“Shi-Shizuo?” Kadota barely managed to utter. 

“Listen up, Kadota.” Shizuo started saying, menacingly. “Life is too fucking short indeed. And exactly because it is too god damn short, you can only make so many mistakes! Did you hear me? You just can’t!” 

Kadota was too stunned to answer, but he was either way certain that those words weren’t directed at him. He just watched as Shizuo stomped away, too muddled in his own thoughts. 

At the other side of the camp, Izaya was casually hanging out with Doctor Lynch, namely he was just sitting at the nursery next to the other man and constantly talking to him, waiting for the right reaction. 

“See Doctor? Only some words. I am truly grateful to you. You saved me, the one who had no other allies or any means possible to survive. Now I breathe thanks to you. Isn’t it wonderful?” He said, playing with an apple in the palm of his hand. 

“Six people died!” Lynch turned around and said, in a desperate and soulless voice. He was even paler and thinner than those five days ago. “Six people died, because I followed your advice!”

“They would have lived, had they been smarter.” Izaya shrugged and tossed the apple up in the air. “We can’t go against the Commander’s orders, can we?” He said as it fell in his palm again.

“You knew it! You knew they would die!” Lynch pointed at him, his entire body trembling. “You knew that the Commander wouldn’t let them live, and yet, you made me…!” 

“But that goes for you too, Doctor.” Izaya looked at the other man in the eyes, smirking. “You could easily guess what their punishment would be, and yet, you chose to save me.” He said and he finally stood up. “I didn’t force you to do anything. You chose to save me by your own. Are you saying you shouldn’t have?”

“I didn’t save you from anything.” Lynch turned around, unable to keep facing Izaya anymore. “I didn’t save you from anything, did I? You’re still with him…” 

“So?” Izaya inquired. “Are you afraid of Shizu-chan, Doctor Lynch? But he greeted you so nicely just the other day.”

“What do you want? I can’t understand!” Lynch sighed, purely tired. “Do you want to kill him? Do you want him to die, or do you want him to live?”

“There is the right timing for everything.” Izaya’s smile left his face. “Right now, you should be the one to ponder exactly whom you want alive and whom dead. Your fellow soldiers caught women, you know that.” He reminded him, the smile slowly returning to his lips. “I think some caught boys too. So, when and if you grow tired of stitching up torn vaginas, mouths and assholes, performing abortions and mending broken bones, feel free to share your thoughts with me. I’ll lend you an ear. At least, I owe you that much, don’t I? Have a wonderful day!” He waved, and he left the doctor’s tent, leaving him terrified and dumbfounded behind. Izaya took a bite from the apple in his hands, wondering how the hell had that man survived in this environment for so long. Well, he seemed easy enough to use. 

Izaya strolled down the camp feeling next to zero fear. Now no one would dare to raise their hand on him, at least for a while. It was indeed a heavy pain off of his chest, but it was only replaced with an unpleasant uneasiness, as they were walking straight towards his town. The town where his sisters and his wife lived into. He didn’t exactly like any of the three, but his weird sisters were, annoyingly, family. As for Namie, she was a bad habit that he perhaps had gotten a little bit used to. After all, only a few things beat teasing her and making her do chores he was responsible for. He had to admit that he had missed her a bit… well, he missed a lot of things from his previous life. The tea she was making, the food she was cooking, the condescending tone of her voice, the sight of her big boobs maybe… 

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAAAAYAAAAA!”

Oh yeah. He missed freedom more than Namie, that was for sure. 

“What is it, Shizu-chan?” He turned with a wide smile, as Shizuo was running towards him like a bull storming at a red sheet. “Are you in pain today as well? Yes? Good.” 

“YOU BASTARD, LET ME PUNCH YOU!” Shizuo threw the punch anyway as soon as he neared Izaya, but of course the other guy dodged it like it was a breeze. 

“Hey, even if you asked me, there’s no way I would just let you do that, you know?” Izaya noted, as he stepped away to avoid the second punch coming his way. “What is it now, I don’t remember doing anything to deserve your wrath today. Why do you want to punch me that badly?”

“You’re a MISTAKE! THAT’S WHY!” Shizuo roared and kept going at it, but it was like Izaya could read his mind, his fists just wouldn’t connect to target. Of course, Izaya was always like that. 

“Wow.” Izaya’s eyes slightly widened. “That was a pretty cruel thing even for you to say right out of the blue. I might get depressed, you know.”

“SHUT. UP!” Shizuo threw at him without missing a beat, and the chase began. Shizuo grabbed just about anything he could find on the ground and tossed them at Izaya, who of course dodged them easily. Everybody saw them running around, but nobody dared to interfere. As usual, when Shizuo went berserk, it was every man for himself. Quite an iron rule. 

“Seems like Shizu-chan today is especially ticked off.” Izaya commented as he barely dodged a wooden bucket. “I have an idea. Follow me!” He motioned at Shizuo, and he took off towards the forest, careful as to maintain a safe distance between him and Shizuo, but without letting Shizuo lose sight of him. He vaguely wondered if he could just escape like this, but he quickly dismissed the thought. Even if he could, there was no future ahead of it. 

On the other hand, Shizuo was purely enraged. He had lashed at Izaya because he was annoyed at first, but now, seeing him sliding between the trees, so close but yet so far out of his reach, was enough to make him boil inside out. “Y-You BASTARD! STOP IT RIGHT THE-“ 

And suddenly, Izaya stopped and moved to the side, leaving the way up ahead open for Shizuo. He didn’t even have the time to think ‘shit’ as he felt himself stepping over a large stone, diving into white steam and the next second, splashing hard into the water with force. As the liquid engulfed him, he didn’t even register the temperature, as he kicked his legs violently in order to resurface and breathe again. The next moment he finally did it, as he broke the water’s surface and gasped for air, his heart beating wildly at his ears, combined with Izaya’s merry laughter that echoed through the place. 

“Really, Shizu-chan, I stopped, but you were a second too late!” Izaya was holding his stomach from the laughter, as Shizuo was glaring at him with the power of a thousand swords. “Next time, don’t get too careless at unknown terrain, it’ll stop being fun… nah, it won’t!” 

“You bastard, I’m going to fucking murder you!” Shizuo growled. That right now could have easily been a cliff if the insect had intended so. “I’m seriously going to tear you up and kill-”

The words died at his throat as he watched Izaya undoing the belt of his robes, slowly stopping the giggling. He did it so casually, Shizuo simply froze. 

“W-What are you doing?” He asked, in pure disbelief. 

“What do you mean ‘what am I doing’. I’m coming in for a swim.” Izaya replied, and let the black fabric slide down from his shoulders, leaving him only with the underwear. 

“Shizu-chan, you’re in for almost half a minute, haven’t you noticed anything? You’re not cold, isn’t that right?” 

Now that he’s mentioning it, Shizuo thought, no he wasn’t cold. He moved his arms a bit inside the water. It was so pleasantly warm… It wasn’t scorching hot or lukewarm, the more he thought about it and stayed into, the more amazing it felt. He had heard about hot springs, but he had never been into one. And now…

“We call it ‘onsen’.” Izaya said, as he got rid of the underwear and started climbing down a couple of rocks to reach into the water. “I don’t know how you call it. But my people love this, it’s very popular.” He said, as he finally stepped into the warm water and shivered at the contact. “We generally love hot baths… oh my god this is amazing…” He let out, as he sank slowly up until the neck into the water. “Gokuraku, gokuraku…” He whispered in his own language, as he closed his eyes. 

Shizuo was just left there, staring at him. They were chasing each other to death as it seemed just moments ago and now he had just taken his clothes off like it was nothing and bathed in a hot spring? Not that he wasn’t seeing him naked and bathing every other day back in the camp. But somehow that was different. Somehow…

Speaking of naked, Shizuo was still wearing his clothes and was soaking wet. Izaya finally opened his eyes and glanced at him. “Come on Shizu-chan. Let’s have a truce. My people use onsen to relax from time to time. Take your clothes off, they won’t dry in any other way.” 

“Huh? And just who told you I wanted to take a bath in here in the first place! You bastard are the one who-“

“You’re in anyways, so why not enjoy it for a bit?” Izaya argued. “It’s nice, isn’t it?” 

“That’s not the point…” Shizuo mumbled, but the hot water had indeed served quite nicely to calm his nerves. It was something new and he felt curious, even if he was downright furious with the way Izaya had played him. “Okay, whatever.” He finally said, taking off his own shirt. “But you bastard, you’re going to pay for this later! You hear me?”

“Yes, yes…” Izaya dismissed the words, as Shizuo was taking off the rest of his clothes. Izaya observed him. He was indeed the living picture of one of Izaya’s people’s sayings: Even dripping with water, still a handsome man. The lean muscles, the nicely formed abs, the strong jaw line, the big hands… Izaya felt his stomach burning from hatred, as he fantasized about Shizuo taking him, thought that gave his cock a small twitch. Disgusted with himself, he reassured him that it was just the long time he had to masturbate, since he wasn’t in such a mood for a long time now, combined with the thought of having a way to control Shizuo… which was definitely exciting, so it was only natural, wasn’t it? After all, in all of his twenty five years of living, Izaya had never felt attraction towards another man. With Shizuo, it was just… the circumstances. 

“What?” Shizuo narrowed his eyes. “You haven’t seen me before?” 

That comment snapped Izaya out of his thoughts, he hadn’t notice that he was still staring. “Well… I haven’t seen you in my natural habitat before. It’s somehow eerie.” 

“Your god damn vocabulary…” Shizuo grumbled. “I’m sure it’s richer than mine.” 

“That wouldn’t mean much as an achievement…” 

“YOU FUCKI-“ 

“Okay, okay!” Izaya cut him off, putting his hands up like he was surrendering to something. “Come on, Shizu-chan, let’s relax for now. It would be good for both of us!” 

“You’re the one that always, always starts up the fucking fight and then act like it’s entirely my fucking fault!” Shizuo spat out and started walking towards Izaya, who tensed up in defense instinctively. “For how long do you intend to keep doing that huh? Do you want me to seriously end up killing you?” Shizuo said, as he slammed both of his hands at the rock behind Izaya, trapping him effectively between them. Izaya had to glue his back to that rock in order to prevent their bodies from touching, Shizuo was that close. 

“Excuse me, Shizu-chan, but I was not the one attacking you out of nowhere and screaming to let me punch you for some reason that I cannot even fathom.” Now it was Izaya’s turn to narrow his own eyes in accusation. “It didn’t seem like talking would get through you, so I just lead you here instead. Now, if you’re not planning to fuck me, could you please get away from my personal space. You’re being a bother.” 

Shizuo seriously thought about grabbing Izaya’s legs, holding him against the rock and fucking him right here and there. His dick turned rock hard at the mere thought and drunk from the fantasy and persuaded that Izaya deserved to be taught a rough lesson, he actually reached his left hand to catch Izaya’s right leg from behind the knee. He would have grabbed him if Izaya hadn’t bumped his forehead into his, not forcefully enough to hurt either of them but strongly enough to divert Shizuo’s gaze, from Izaya’s body right into his eyes. 

“Don’t you seem energetic enough.” Izaya commented, with a voice dripping poison. “Poor Shazesh. Seems like he died from nothing, after all.”

“Would you have preferred to be with him?” Shizuo gave his usual grin, the one that seemed like he was baring his fangs. “And all of his group? It’s such a shame they didn’t manage to get rid of me then, isn’t it?” Seeing that Izaya wasn’t saying anything, he continued: “Don’t worry, there are still plenty just like him walking around!” 

“Don’t say that. You know the only one I have eyes for is you.” 

“Ah, really?” Shizuo replied, the urge to drive himself into the dark haired man in front of him was almost unbearable, not out of lust or seeking pleasure but with the sole purpose of hurting him and having him scream in his hands. “Then you shouldn’t stop me you know. Let me love you, Iiiiiizaaaaayaaaa!” 

“Ah, Shizu-chan, you know, your love seems to be a bit too much on the tough side, I wonder if it’ll be good for me!” Izaya’s serene and cheery expression was in total contrast with his inner anger and turmoil. The way things were progressing, even if they did fuck, he wouldn’t have the upper hand. “So, maybe another time?” 

“Quit screwing around!” Shizuo finally grabbed both of Izaya’s wrists and immobilized him. Even if Izaya was struggling against it, it was less than trivial resistance for Shizuo’s strength. “Another time? What time? Tomorrow I might die at the expedition. Later you might trip over a rock and break your skull open. We don’t have TIME! We don’t have that…” He finally concluded, and his anger slowly melted away. 

Izaya’s eyes widened. “I see… That’s what had been bothering you?” Shizuo was still holding his wrists, but Izaya stopped fighting against it. “Well, it’s true. We’re human beings and we don’t know when we might meet our end. But we can take some measures for precaution, can’t we? Beyond that, it might just be simply luck, what can we do?” He shrugged, never taking his eyes away from Shizuo’s troubled face. “Whatever the case… I’m yours. You don’t have to ask me to let you do anything. How many times have we had this conversation already? Shizu-chan, if you want me, you should just take me. What are you worrying over?” 

“I don’t want you, you insect.” Shizuo finally said, his bangs covering his eyes, and let violently go of Izaya’s wrists, shoving him behind. If his back hadn’t already been against the rock, Izaya would have fallen down. “You just make me want to hit you. That’s all.” 

Izaya didn’t have an answer to that. Mostly because he understood exactly where Shizuo was coming from and what he meant. He too, had some moments, when the only thing he wanted was to cause Shizuo unbearable pain. When he had seen him a wreck into Shazesh’s arms, he had felt wild joy, but also, unparalleled envy and possessiveness. The thought of someone getting their hands on Shizuo was downright appalling, but the thought of him suffering was the most delightful of all. He knew what Shizuo meant. 

“Anyway. Can we just relax for now? I think I’m getting a headache.” Izaya finally said. “It’s been such a long time since I’ve been in an onsen… Can’t we just enjoy the time we have now?” 

“Humph, whatever.” Shizuo finally took some steps back and left Izaya space to breathe. He sat at a rock across the other man, but without really looking at him. 

After some more minutes, both of them allowed themselves to relax for real. Shizuo stopped thinking about anything and everything, he just lied back and allowed the warm water to soothe his nerves. Warm water for as long as he could sit into… nature sure was amazing, he could only think. On the other hand, Izaya had the opportunity to gather his thoughts and ponder about his next move. The plan about getting rid of Shazesh and securing his position in the camp turned out to be a huge success. He would have loved to be the one who killed Shazesh, so that Shizuo would owe him a favor – even though he still wasn’t exactly sure what Shizuo thought about social obligations, he’d might as well brush it off like it was nothing – but in the end he had decided not to risk it. War criminals or not, nobody could guarantee his safety after killing people from the other side. Now he could just sit and watch what the doctor would do and when… Until that, what else could he do? He would have to think of something…

They decided it was time to get out half an hour later, due to the faintness caused by the steam. Without any more words, they got out and started getting dressed, Shizuo grumbling something about clothes that hadn’t dried up yet. 

“We’ll hang them on a rope out of the tent, they’ll dry.” Izaya informed him, as he was finishing tying up the belt around his yukata. He heard Shizuo’s footsteps nearing him, but he paid no attention. “Until then, you can look even more handsome than usual-“ 

What happened next, Izaya would always keep remembering like a dream. Shizuo cut him off by standing behind him, wrapping his right arm around his waist and holding with his left Izaya’s chin lightly, making him slightly turn around, so that he could finally lock his lips with his. 

It was the simplest kiss one could encounter. It was just lips on lips, putting pressure firmly but tenderly, and it lasted only some seconds. When Shizuo pulled away and looked at Izaya, he felt his own cheeks burning at the sight of Izaya’s usually calm face now stunned, with eyes seeming uncharacteristically wide and somehow innocent. 

“I… I just felt like it.” He muttered and hurried ahead, leaving Izaya petrified, staring at the air, for the first time in his life, having trouble comprehending what the hell had just happened.


	12. Chapter 12

SHIT I LET MY GUARD DOWN SHIT, SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

For probably the first time after they met, Shizuo’s and Izaya’s thoughts were in complete sync, as they made their way towards the camp, Shizuo dripping wet all over through his completely drenched clothes and Izaya walking behind him completely numb, just keeping up the pace mechanically. Neither talked until they reached their own tent, and neither dared to look the other in the face. 

They continued to find themselves in the same situation even after several hours, even after Shizuo dried himself and his clothes up, even after they ate. From Shizuo’s part, he had just acted on pure impulse, seeing Izaya acting so casually and hearing him talk like… like they had chores to do and take care of things when they would get back home. Like they were in a purely normal situation and they just… dealt with normal problems. And that had made him happy and he just… he just did it. Now, thinking back, it was a rather stupid move of his part. Probably the stupidest one he had committed so far. Just when he was so proud and full of himself for not giving into temptation, this meaning hurting Izaya and falling into his trap, he did something Izaya wouldn’t let him live down, no way he would. It seemed strange and ominous to Shizuo that he hadn’t said anything so far though. He kept stealing glances at the other man but Izaya always happened to have his back turned on him.

As far as Izaya himself was concerned, he felt emptier than usual. Well he was never the one to give into powerful emotions… he felt them, but he never acted according to them, at least not without careful thinking and planning. He prided himself in the fact that he was able to tame his own feelings and keep them under control. Of course, he had never before experienced so many feelings all at once that he wasn’t able to recognize which was which. So far. Until then. 

Consequently, he concluded that the best course of action in the current situation was to draw a blank and to stop thinking about anything. It was an option he abhorred, and he had never followed before, but all he was able to understand right then was that he needed first to calm down before he drew any conclusions. He certainly wouldn’t be able to act in the right way while he was drowning in a sea of hatred, humiliation, loathing, embarrassment and joy. At that time, he wasn’t in the right mind to analyze what Shizuo’s lips had meant on his, not when he could still feel them pressing against his own. The options ‘punch him’, ‘stab him’, ‘strangle him’, ‘put tongue inside and lead him to fucking’ were now dancing irritatingly before his eyes and it would have been fine, really, if it wasn’t for the existence of the last one. But now, it was too late for a reaction… and why exactly was the existence of the last one bad? If done under the right conditions it could…

Izaya shook his head vigorously. It was NOT the time to think about it, he reminded himself. He could always plan something later. Now they needed to forget about it… not that he wouldn’t remind Shizuo, come the right timing. But Shizuo had chosen to stay silent until then… Izaya suspected that Shizuo loved silence and it was one of the reasons he hated Izaya, because he would never shut up. But they couldn’t go on like this at the time being.

“Say, Shizu-chan…” He said, and it was a shame that he had his back turned at him, because he missed the chance to see him twitching as he tensed up. “About our current destina-“

Suddenly, the ground under them shook. Or at least, that’s how it felt to them, when they heard a loud boom coming from outside. Shizuo shot himself out, thinking that gas had exploded, but it turned out that someone far from them had just fired some heavy artillery. Izaya followed him out and he suddenly found himself in the middle of chaos. 

“ENEMY ATTACK! ENEMY ATTACK!” They started screaming all over and many almost threw Izaya down with the way they were bumping onto him as they were running in frenzy, trying to pick up their guns and head to the conflict point. 

“Get inside!” Shizuo yelled at him, but Izaya tried to reach him nonetheless.

“Who’s attacking? What’s going on?” Izaya finally got close to Shizuo but he was swiftly grabbed by him and shoved backwards, again into the tent, as the noise around them continued to grow in preparation from battle. 

“Didn’t I fucking tell you to get inside?” He yelled, already pissed off, as he was holding both of Izaya’s arms. “Now stay here and stay down!” 

“Stay?” Izaya said incredulously, no matter that Shizuo was pissed. “I don’t know what it seems to you that these tents are made of, but I doubt they will be able to hold off bullets or arrows for that matter, or even your panicked buddies. Sorry Shizu-chan but I do not intend to stay here and get trampled by your-“

Izaya’s sentence was cut short as Shizuo grabbed his face with both of his hands and brought it forward, covering Izaya’s mouth with his own. This time, the kiss was rough and forceful, but what Izaya didn’t want to recognize as passion definitely existed there. When Shizuo pulled away, this time he looked Izaya sternly in the eyes, instead of avoiding him. 

“Stay here. I’ll get back.” He told a petrified Izaya, and then he turned his back and disappeared outside. 

Izaya felt weak on the knees. He allowed himself to fall on them as he realized that he wasn’t any longer able to postpone his thinking process about this issue. Options started dancing in front of his eyes again, ‘You’d fucking better’, ‘good riddance and go die’, and ‘what the fuck do you think you’re doing’, but again, he had gloriously missed the chance to react. He knew it. Izaya was sure that this monster knew that he would freeze up again and he did it on purpose to shut him up and would probably do so in the future. 

Izaya Orihara loved to read through other people. In contrast, he absolutely hated being read. And even though Shizuo had no brains, no brains absolutely, he had the ability to do just that. He knew when Izaya was scared; he knew when he was angry; he knew when he was happy. Even though he was so good at composing himself, even though he was able to deceive thousands, that animal, that single animal didn’t even think about it, he just KNEW. 

“I find myself hating you even more by every passing second, my dear Shizu-chan.” Izaya said as he smiled, that preparation for war smile. Two could play at this game and Izaya was an expert in games, not ready to lose any time soon, especially from Shizuo. 

The noise he had blocked out for some time slowly came back, only that now it was toned down a lot. It seemed like the fighting was going on a good deal away from him. Izaya just stayed there, patiently waiting, thinking of more and more ways to deal with Shizuo once he would return home, but he wasn’t the one to step into the tent eventually. It was Togusa and Yumasaki.

“Hey, Izaya, get up!” Togusa ordered him. “The Commander called for you!”

“Eh? For me?” Izaya smiled as he was getting up as ordered, barely able to contain his excitement. “Is it finally time to offer my services? If so, what a delightful predicament! And   
here I thought I would grow old with Shizu-chan, fixing his destroyed clothing for all eternity!”

“I don’t know if you should be so happy…” Yumasaki tried to reason with him, as they had already started to make their way towards Tom’s tent. “The opponents attacked us out of nowhere, killed some of us who were taken by surprise, of course we quickly subdued them… but we happened to find their leader wounded and Commander Tom said that we should hold him captive… So he wants you to go speak with him now.”

“I see…” Izaya nodded in understanding and his eyes shone dangerously. Had Shizuo been there, he would have understood, but now the menace Izaya was generating went by unnoticed. And of course he had hidden it well until he reached the Commander’s tent. What he saw once he got there was a large cycle of people exactly in front of it, and in the center of that cycle, there lied a beaten up, dirty and tied up man in his fifties. He was wearing a brown yukata, and Izaya came just in time to see him spit out a broken tooth. A few steps in front of him was Tom, and behind Tom, stood Shizuo, as he always did when they had to deal with any kind of problem. The man on the ground was looking at them like he was trying to kill them with a glare. It was obvious to Izaya that Shizuo could barely restrain himself. 

When Tom spotted him, he motioned to him to come closer. Izaya obeyed, and so he came to stand right next to Tom. “Do you know him?” Tom asked him, showing him the tied up man. 

Knowing that half-baked answers and ambiguous meanings would definitely make him dig his own grave at this early point, Izaya decided to just be honest for a change… but not too much. “I do. He is a merchant from the town right ahead of us. He was a wealthy man, and used to move a lot of strings in order to gain all kinds of profits from others.” Before Tom could open his mouth, Izaya continued: “His name is Okumoto Nobuhiro. What do you want me to ask of him, Commander?”

Izaya sure was quick at picking up things, Tom thought. “I want you to ask him the reason why they chose to attack us today. And also, about the possibility of other future similar attacks in our troops.”

“I see.” Izaya sighed in agreement, and then took some more steps forward towards the captive man. “So…”

“Oh, and, Izaya?”

“Hm?” Izaya turned and looked at Tom’s severe face. “What?”

“I don’t think that I have to remind you of this, but don’t lie.” Behind Tom, Shizuo cracked his knuckles in preparation of a showdown. “And don’t say anything unnecessary either. Speak only what I tell you to speak.” 

“Oh my, Commander, do I really look suicidal to you?” Izaya gave out a small and bitter laugh. “It’s okay, don’t worry. I don’t consider myself a stupid man.” He said, as he turned to the guy in front of him again, who was looking at him from the time he came with a contorted face, full of pain and confusion. “Hello, Okumoto-san!” He applied the sweetest smile and happiest voice he could master, in total contrast of their environment, like they had just met in a merry reunion, as he spoke in his language for the first time after so many months. “How come I get to see you again after so much time? What a surprising coincidence!”

“Orihara?” The man let out, still in a disbelieving state. “Orihara Izaya? Is that you?”

“He is asking if it’s me.” Izaya informed Tom, changing his language again. 

“Continue.” Tom urged him. 

But Okumoto was ahead of them both. “It’s you, isn’t it? It’s you, you damn… you damn snake!” He growled and he tried to get up, but he could only stay at his knees with the way he was tied. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

After Izaya briefly translated to Tom, he answered. “As you can see, I’m here to pass your message across. I’m sure that’s why you came here. To give them one. Am I wrong?” 

The man gave him a sinister smile. “I expected nothing less from you. It’s just like you to sell yourself out and switch sides to save your sorry ass… Well, not that it makes any difference. But are you seriously asking what message we wanted to give them? Are you seriously asking that?” The tone of his voice grew larger and heavier after each passing second. “Do you realize that we lost our families? That we lost our homes? That we lost every means of surviving, all of our hard earned fortune? Those devils came and took everything! Of course we should strike them down, even if we died trying! My wife is no longer home to make me breakfast! My daughters were taken like dogs and my sons were killed like bugs crushed under some feet! Everyone’s were! And rest assured, clever informant, that your sisters are out there, either sucking dicks or rotting at the side of some road!”

Izaya clenched his fists at the mention of his sisters but was able to maintain his composure. “Well, Commander, he seems to be mad for pretty basic reasons…” He explained everything, except of course that last line. 

“I see. Ask him what they are planning; we have no time to waste for this.” Tom frowned, because he knew that no matter the other man’s answer, he had a crucial decision to make. Attack the town in front of them as quickly as he could, or wait to discuss plans with the other Commanders, after informing them of the situation? Since the day they had arrived, that was the first time they had suffered any casualties, all because of carelessness. They couldn’t go on underestimating the enemy any longer. 

“I see your point, Okumoto-san.” Izaya turned and started talking in his language again. “And I assure you; I’m not oblivious to the situation around us. We all do what we have to do if we want to survive though. Now, would you please tell me if there are any plans for such endeavors in the future?” 

The man spat at him, but since he couldn’t reach his face, the spit fell in front of Izaya’s feet. “Go fuck yourselves, you pieces of shit! Why would I tell you anything?”

“Do I need to translate?” Izaya chuckled, referring to Tom. 

“Try harder, and remind him of his position.” Tom sighed. Of course, he already knew they wouldn’t get much out of him. 

“These guys want me to remind you what they are capable of doing.” Izaya smiled at the older man, who had started sweating like a pig. “If you don’t want them to start practicing, you’d better tell them what you know.”

“Do you seriously think that I’m afraid of pain or death after this point?” The man snorted. “Tell them to do their worst!” 

“Okumoto-san.” Izaya suddenly adopted a very serious tone. “You’re underestimating them.”

“Ha? THEY are the ones underestimating US!” The man was just one step away from breaking into a crazed laughter. “Let me tell you one thing, you traitor, you pathetic little man! Our people will not stand for this! We will not stand for this! The Awakusu you betrayed are already on the move and they are going to do something that will erase you from the face of this world, permanently! For that, we are ready to give our lives!”

Izaya smirked, before he turned to Tom. “They are indeed up to something, but I don’t he will tell exactly what, even if you push him.” He thanked God the older man was so obvious to read, otherwise he might have had problems. “So, what will you do?” 

Before Tom could answer, the man beat him to it by biting his own tongue through and through. A chaos ensued afterwards when several others grabbed him and tried to stop him but he was already choking in his own blood and swollen flesh. 

“We should have seen it coming.” Tom sighed. “Anyway, we wouldn’t have gotten much. Those with little regard for their lives won’t amount to much in interrogations. Shizuo, we’re halting the attack.”

“Understand.” Shizuo nodded. 

Izaya knew why they had chosen to do so. That move, the sudden attack in the war of attrition, intended to guide them to make their own move rashly or stop them. It was a gamble either way, but Tom had decided to be careful and wait for the other Commanders to decide in unison. Izaya’s home town had just earned some time as things stood. And all Izaya had needed to know was if Awakusu’s top head and in many cases, his employer, Shiki, had started to move. He could have known more if Tom trusted him enough to let him talk in detail with that man but he knew that was impossible just yet. 

Of course, Izaya was never allowed to participate in meetings, but Shizuo was always there as he served as Tom’s bodyguard. So, when they met each other again, was the next day, when Shizuo returned, worked to the bone and sleepless. 

“Don’t talk to me, I’ll seriously kill you.” He barely managed to tell Izaya, as he dropped on the sheets, and started snoring loudly three seconds afterwards. 

Izaya murmured something about Shizuo’s elegancy resembling the one of an ape but he knew very well that if he wanted to find out what was going on, he shouldn’t piss Shizuo off. But that was pretty difficult in itself, plus, Izaya also hadn’t gotten any sleep since yesterday and he was already stressed and irritated himself. Kururi and Mairu should be just up ahead. He didn’t care. He never liked them. Then what the hell was that lump in his throat and that knot on his stomach doing there? Why couldn’t he get any sleep? They were his sisters. They would be alright. He knew it, so all this worrying was absolutely needless. Needless but still there even after all this… 

He eyed Shizuo, sleeping there seemingly without a care in the world. He envied him, but he still got near him and slowly wormed himself under the covers, next to him. Shizuo had his back turned at him and Izaya placed his hands on top of it, feeling the warmth of his skin under the shirt. Slowly, he felt himself finally falling to sleep, snuggling even closer to Shizuo and his pleasant warmth. 

When Shizuo woke up, he turned slowly around to come face to face with a sleeping Izaya. “Hey…” He poked at him, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him closer towards his chest. Such kind of moves had already become a routine long ago for them. “Hey, Izaya…”

“Hmm?” Came the muffled answer.

“Wake up…” 

“Why…” He mumbled as he rubbed his face on Shizuo’s chest. 

“Come on…” He replied and leaned down and softly kissed him on the cheek. “Wake u-“

He didn’t need to say it twice, because Izaya had just been shaken up so badly that he pushed Shizuo violently back. Or at least he tried to, because as Shizuo wouldn’t budge that easily, he just served as being leverage for Izaya to jump behind and get away from him. “Stop it!” He threw at Shizuo, who was more confused than angry for this behavior. “Enough is enough, you’re stopping this!” He said as he got up and glared daggers down at Shizuo. 

“Wha- I wouldn’t do anything!” Shizuo exclaimed, dumbfounded and maybe a bit embarrassed. In the end, they hadn’t talked about any of those kisses. He had forgotten about that… 

“Exactly! You wouldn’t!”

“Haaa? I wouldn’t because you wouldn’t want me to!”

“Exactly!” Seeing that Shizuo had just started clenching his teeth and getting really angry, Izaya knew that he had to continue quickly. “Listen, I’ll only say this once: There have been a lot of things I was forced to do since you came here, but the very last I’m willing to do is to play all friendly and lovey-dovey with you! So if you’re not going to be forceful with me, don’t you dare to touch me ever again! I’ll cut you!” He said, and even drew out of his yukata’s sleeve the knife he was always carrying, pointing it right at the blond man. 

“What the hell are you saying?” Izaya’s way of thinking would always remain a mystery to Shizuo. “That it would be okay for me to force you but not to be nice to you?”

“Yes. Exactly. Exactly that! Now that you understood it, please bury it deep into your mind and never forget it!” Seeing that Shizuo couldn’t yet understand him, Izaya offered him his notorious devilish smile. “You see, Shizu-chan, I really hate bad jokes, and acting like you… like me or something is too much of one.”

“Who the fuck would like you, you fucking son of a bitch?” Shizuo was already at his limit of letting his rage explode, as he tossed the sheets away from him and stood up as well. 

“All I’m saying is that I refuse to play the role of an affection substitute for a depraved monster. It’s too derogatory even for all the stuff I’m willing to put up with to survive in here… you know?”

“IZAYA!” Shizuo finally roared and lashed at Izaya, who, despite the knife he was holding, didn’t make any moves to swing it. Because he knew very well that if he inflicted even the smallest wound on Shizuo, a bullet in the head would be the only thing waiting for him. So he didn’t even resist when Shizuo knocked him on the ground, straddled him and grabbed his neck, leaving him with no way of escaping. The knife had fallen from his hands long ago. 

Despite from his definitely disadvantageous position, a part of Izaya relished the view. The view of Shizuo’s face contorted in anger, with teeth bared, ready to bite his windpipe off, and brows frowned under a crazed and murderous glare. The look of a wild ferocious animal, of an uncontrolled beast. It was everything he hated and he just gained so much pleasure by seeing it on Shizuo. Shizuo’s hand was also trembling around Izaya’s neck, showing that he was barely restraining himself from crushing it. Izaya’s enjoyment for all of this was showing on his face and Shizuo of course didn’t miss it. 

“Fine.” He finally growled. “Fine you bastard. If that’s the way you want it, then…” His hand left Izaya’s neck and slid down at Izaya’s chest, where his yukata was parting. “…let’s do it how you want it!” And with both hands, he grabbed both sides of the fabric and shoved it away, leaving Izaya’s chest all open and naked for him to see. 

Instinctively, Izaya clenched his eyes shut, gritted his teeth and turned his face away, trembling in the idea of what was about to happen. He braced himself for the unwanted touch… but it didn’t come. 

He slightly opened his eyes and he saw Shizuo still above him, who was just making an unreadable expression at that moment. Before he could say anything, Shizuo beat him to it. “But you see… I really don’t want things to go your way.” He said, as he slowly covered Izaya up. 

“Shizu-cha-“ Izaya slowly raised his upper body until he was seating but whatever was trying to say was cut short when Shizuo cupped his face with both of his hands. Shizuo didn’t say anything, he just leaned in. 

Izaya was absolutely, completely, through and through purely terrified. Shizuo’s face was closing in dangerously and he just couldn’t order his body to move or say anything in protest. Izaya could only wish that Shizuo would stop, that he shouldn’t get close, that he, of all people, just wouldn’t get close… 

When Shizuo finally kissed him again, it felt as if he had just delved his hand into Izaya’s chest and his fingers had dangerously circled his heart, ready to rip it off. After the first moments, Izaya started to struggle against it. Shizuo did let him go, he backed away a couple of inches, but he looked at Izaya straight in the eye, with a pained expression.

“Am I really… that hideous?” He just asked. 

Izaya knew what he was asking. He wanted to answer yes, that he was, and even more, he wanted to hurt him, to trample over all of his feelings, to rip his heart away and leave him an empty shell… but instead, he just kissed him back. 

Nothing was hideous about Shizuo. Nothing, no matter how much Izaya wanted to turn him out to be. 

From there, it all went downhill. Izaya even slipped his tongue inside Shizuo’s mouth and kissed him deeply, because it was Shizuo and because it felt good and because he wanted to make him feel even better. And Shizuo let him do as he pleased, as he was surprisingly gentle with the way he was hugging him, and caressing his back now… And he was gentle when he took control of the kiss and went into Izaya’s mouth, not in a very refined way, but… in a very sweet way… 

They were interrupted by the alarm of the camp going off and notifying everyone that they needed to assembly for further instructions for the upcoming expedition. They parted slowly, like they had just been awakened from a long dream that seemed too short. Izaya only then realized that he had wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck, hugging him as they kissed, and that Shizuo had wrapped his around his waist. 

“You should go, you’ll be late.” He finally told Shizuo, who looked even further lost in the dream than he did. 

“Oh… yeah…” Shizuo just agreed and nodded numbly, and they finally let reality sink in. 

How much it really did have sink in though, they both had a long way ahead of them to comprehend.


	13. Chapter 13

As it was expected, from every soldier in the camp but from Izaya as well, it didn’t take too long to finally attack the small town just ahead of them. What they eventually did was wait for reinforcements and then strike down with double the usual force. Of course, that turned out to be quite an overkill, as it turned out that there was absolutely nothing special about that town. No excessive army, no cunningly set up traps… there was nothing out of normal boundaries, not a single thing. Eventually, it was concluded that the first attack was just the means to gain some time for the people, mostly women and children, to manage to flee from this alien army’s dark clutches. Most of them achieved just that, and the number of prisoners dropped down to one tenth of what they used to count of. 

As soon as Izaya learned the news, his heart finally found its way back to its place, much reluctant as he was to admit that it had ever left. Kururi and Mairu would have definitely been given priority in the escapees and Namie was too smart to remain anywhere dangerous. Of course, he knew that they couldn’t keep running forever. After all, Sekai was only an island. An enormous one, but an island nonetheless. There would come a time when the ground would end and escape would no longer be inside the options. But, did that really matter to him? Given that he was already at the other side of the invisible barrier between the two worlds. He would just have to make peace with the fact that nothing could be done about the people he knew. How long could that take him? Not too long for sure. 

When Shizuo returned from battle and told him the news, Izaya had calmly kept his poker face, like he always did. He never told Shizuo that this was his home town. He just silently kept musing what would have happened if he hadn’t decided to make that trip to that village, if he had just let that man and his affairs be without tormenting him… he almost chuckled at the thought. Like that was even possible. And either way, he would have attempted to approach those green creatures sooner or later no matter what.   
Luck was the only thing that he owed his survival to and he very well knew it. Now, he just had to make the most of it. Right?

Wrong. He should do so, certainly, but he could not. All in the name of a very big, unpredictable, and unreadable complication. Until he could figure out how to play with Shizuo, it was all in vain. 

And it wasn’t like he didn’t know what he needed to do. It was more like, he simply couldn’t do it. 

After that time, when they had passionately kissed, they hadn’t done anything else. Not a thing. They still slept inside each other’s arms, but Shizuo hadn’t tried to initiate anything and Izaya just couldn’t bring himself to do it. If he didn’t know any better, he’d say that Shizuo felt guilty about the attack towards Izaya’s people… and wouldn’t that be so pleasurably for laughs! Unfortunately, Izaya knew very well that Shizuo did indeed feel guilty each and every time but he had long ago gotten over it. That was what it meant to be a soldier for living, after all. 

All that Izaya eventually concluded that he knew was that it felt nice inside Shizuo’s arms. And he hated it. He needed to be careful about the way he would play his game. One misstep could easily mean his end. 

Two weeks had passed since his first translation job and almost one since the attack. Shizuo was somewhere, God knew where, so Izaya just decided he would take a stroll around like he usually did. He could go and see Kadota and his gang, he had heard about a man from another platoon, one who had really dark skin, and he wanted to know more about him. It seemed like he had taken an interest in the local cuisine, more importantly, sushi. Maybe he could teach him how to make fatty tuna. Simon, his name was? Or Saimon? 

Without noticing, his feet brought him to the place where they used to keep the captives. The camp might have been moved along the way of the expedition, but it was always reconstructed in the specially designated places. Only Shazesh and his gang were missing. But that didn’t mean there weren’t a ton of others to keep a particular tradition alive.  
With every step he was taking, Izaya could hear even more clearly the screams. He noticed that unlike the other times, they were mostly coming from males, as most women would have managed to escape. The practice of those hellish orgy nights might have been typically prohibited, but essentially, there was nothing else that would be done with the captives. The only rule the Commanders had issued that was a bit effective, was to allow the soldiers to take women if they wanted, keeping their urges satisfied. Izaya had yet to talk to any of those women. They were always shackled up in the tents of their masters and he had yet to find the chance to sneak into one. Even though he doubted he would find anybody still sane. 

He sighed and he was ready to pass by that site when suddenly someone grabbed him violently from behind, locking arms around his waist and even lifting him up. In his shock, he froze, when that someone started simultaneously dragging him towards the place of the torture, like he was some wild animal. “Where did you escape from, huh? I thought we put chains on all of you cattle.” He chuckled, in a rough and rusty voice Izaya did not quite recognize. “Well, no matter. I’ll put you in your place soon enough. You have a nice ass, I think I’ll do you fir-”

“Are you a fucking idiot.” 

Izaya wasn’t even in the mood to humor the guy, as he turned and looked at him, his gaze filled with the warmth of a glacier. The guy immediately froze too, upon hearing the sound of his language, and it took him several seconds after looking at Izaya’s face, until he recognized who he had in his arms.

“Y-You are… Shizuo’s…” 

One of Izaya’s most favorite scenes in existence was definitely the moment when someone’s face turns from the high and mighty pose, to complete and utter despair. If it wasn’t for his freshly inflicted trauma upon such acts of sexual violence, he would have truly relished the sight of the man jumping away from him like he had touched something poisonous, and then groveling into the ground like he was trying to dig the hole for a grave. 

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, please, don’t tell Heiwajima that I touched you!” He started begging, and Izaya felt his stomach burning. “I didn’t mean to! I mean, I didn’t see you, you were walking around in those clothes and…”

“I’m not mad.” Izaya finally cut him off, offering him a sweet smile, one that would have definitely made Shizuo flinch in disgust. “You don’t have to worry; I don’t plan on telling him anything. It was just a small misunderstanding. Right?” 

“Yes! Yes!” The man nodded feverishly, from his groveling position. “That’s right, that is…”

“In exchange,” Izaya didn’t waste any time. “Could you please tell me what is happening in there?” He said, as he pointed at the direction of the screams. “Isn’t it a bit late to still keep this up? It’s already been a week…”

“Ah…” The man almost stumbled as he got up from the ground. “We got boys this time… decided to keep them a bit longer, since, you know, everybody wants to do them but almost nobody wants to keep them… I don’t mean that Heiwajima is doing anything wrong with keeping you!” He hurried up and added. 

Izaya knew what he meant. He knew that there was a much more special vibe in raping men than in raping women; it was a very extreme way of establishing dominance. He hated it when his humans surrendered to their primitive and animalistic instincts. And he also knew that even though many of them enjoyed the dominance, they would go as far as taking one into their care, out of fear of a social stigma. Hypocrisy much? Now this was more like his humans. 

“I see…” He noted. “Aren’t you perhaps a bit too rough on them?” He offered, as the screams started anew. “I doubt anybody would have the will to fight back anymore. This is unusual… even by your standards.” 

He didn’t miss the other’s half-crooked grin, declaring clearly that it wasn’t in his position to make such a remark, neither could he change anything, and if the situation slightly happened to change, they would love to do him even more harshly next, nothing would be different. “There is one still fighting back. And everyone really has a grudge for him.”

“Why? What did he do?” That had just sparked Izaya’s interest.

“He dyed his hair blond and fooled who knows how many comrades, that he was one of our own, until he let countless of your kind to escape. Dyed his hair blond! Do you imagine it? Clever little brat!” The guy snorted in distorted entertainment. “Of course he was found out in the end, and you know, we were pretty pissed! I did him too, he was pretty good.” 

Terrific, now it was the time for him to brag, Izaya thought, but he knew how to mask his emotions maybe better than anyone. “Oh? That surely sounds interesting enough…” He commented, looking at the direction of the screams. “Say…” He turned his attention to the other guy again. “Can you perhaps take me to him?”

The man looked around him, and then leaned collusively to whisper to Izaya: “I can… I will… if you let me see you naked.” He winked. 

No matter how good Izaya was with poker faces, he couldn’t hide the incredulous look his face formed right after. “What.” He just said. 

“I’m not going to touch you.” He assured him. “I’m not going to take pictures either.” Izaya still wasn’t so familiar with the concept of photographs but he understood either way. “See, I’m not harming anything of Heiwajima’s… but don’t you think you need to do something for me, too?” 

Izaya stayed expressionless for three whole seconds before he answered: “You realize of course, that I can simply ask someone else where the prisoners are, and even without doing that, I’ll recognize immediately the one I’m looking for because he has blond hair?” 

They just stayed and stared at each other for some more seconds. 

“When the guys are finished doing him, we have pulled the carriages with the cages just at the other side, walk about three hundred feet.” The man showed Izaya the way, without any further ado. 

“That’s so great, thank you!” Izaya pleasantly chirped, and turned on his heels, thinking that even if he didn’t manage to deal with him eventually, natural selection would. Interesting theory by the way. The things he had learned near Kadota.

He circled the site to try and get a glimpse, out of morbid curiosity. Unfortunately, he didn’t manage to get close enough to see anything. Not because he wasn’t allowed to, but because the noise and the smell were making him want to hurl. He considered that to be pretty pathetic from his part, he should have gotten used to such things already. But he did manage to hear them announce that the torture was over. 

He just hopped away for a bit to get some water and a piece of cloth that he was sure he would need, and then he made his way towards the cages. Oh, he remembered very well how it felt like to be inside one of them… At that time, when he had arrived, he wouldn’t even dream to be anywhere near Shizuo… 

It was indeed easy to tell the one he was interested into apart. He was alone in a big cage, lying face down, stark naked and dirty from the tip of his badly dyed blond hair to the end his oozing blood toes. As Izaya was nearing him even more, it was even clearer that it was only a young teenage boy, covered in mud, blood and semen. Izaya was only two feet away when the boy might have noticed his presence, and slowly, soullessly, turned his head towards his side. 

Izaya felt like someone had squished the air out of his lungs. Somehow, not it all made sense, but he realized that he had just refused to accept it. The familiar tone of the screams his mind had learned to shut away, the color yellow, the more stupid than brave behavior. 

“…Masaomi?”

Just as slowly, the boy’s eyes traveled upward. It was clear that the sun was blinding him, making it difficult for him to focus. Something white was still trickling down his mouth, the same substance that was spread all over his face. He was almost unrecognizable, after all the abuse and the dyed up hair, but Izaya knew, he was never wrong. 

“…Kida-kun?” He tried again, and he took another step, hiding the sun from Kida’s eyes with his shadow. “It’s you, isn’t it?” 

“I…za…” Kida tried, using a very raspy voice. “I…zaya…san…” 

Izaya waited for the boy to try and compose himself. Kida coughed up harshly, but he did try to raise himself up, at least a bit. His eyes became more focused and he started breathing a bit louder. Finally, after a lot of struggle, he managed to make his upper body stand using his elbows. Then he looked at Izaya again.

“Izaya-san… it’s really you.” He was looking at the older, nicely clothed man in front of him, with a mixture of hatred, longing and abdication. “What… are you doing here?” 

“Heh… what am I doing here, really.” Izaya slightly smirked, but it looked more like a sad smile. At the same time, through the bars, he passed Kida the calabash which contained the water. “What would you say I am?” 

Kida just silently took the calabash, took a sip from it, moved the liquid in his mouth and then spat it out, quite effectively clearing his mouth, and then he just started gulping it down like he hadn’t drunk for days… which he probably indeed wouldn’t have. In the end, there wasn’t enough left to clean his face… no question about his body. 

But the first act was enough to show Izaya that Kida had yet to let his mind break. He found himself admiring him, quite surprisingly. If he had gone through this, he wasn’t sure he could have done the same. 

“I don’t know. Sold yourself, probably.” Kida shrugged and tried to give him the calabash back, but he didn’t have enough strength so it just fell on the ground, just outside the bars. 

“Wow, now that was quite harsh, wasn’t it?” Izaya chuckled, his voice taking the tone of the victim. “Do you still hold that grudge against me? Don’t you think it’s time we forgot about that. So many new things are happening around us…”

“Go die.” Kida let out and then his elbows couldn’t support his weight anymore. He slid and fell face down again. “Go die and go away. You don’t plan on helping me anyway. And I don’t want the help of a guy who willingly opened his legs. I might seem like the dirtier one here but I wonder if that’s indeed the case…” Having said what he wanted to say, Kida left his head touch the bottom of the cage and he closed his eyes. He would have drifted off in a coma like sleep, like he always used to do between the times he was abused. Except that now, he felt someone wiping his face with something. 

His eyes shot wide open, and he came face to face with a kneeled down Izaya, who was wiping his face clean of all the dirt with a piece of cloth. “Don’t say that, Kida-kun.” Izaya didn’t seem to be angry. “Don’t say that…” 

Kida hated Izaya. From the bottom of his heart. He used to admire him like he had never admired anyone in his entire life. He was charismatic, he was charming, he was sharp, he was perfect. Until Kida found out the hard way that what he was admiring was just plain deceit. Izaya had used his naivety to accomplish his own purposes, and in the end of the entire ordeal, the woman Kida loved had both of her legs broken. Because Izaya wasn’t satisfied just using him, he enjoyed seeing him squirm. And not just Kida. It wasn’t personal. Izaya did that to everyone. Maybe that was even worse for some reason. 

But now, seeing him again like this, it moved his heart, though he knew it shouldn’t. In an age where the end of the world had come, in the times where the rage of Gods had befallen them and everything seemed to be coming down in flames, when everyone was losing everything he ever held dear, Izaya, only Izaya, would be able to manage to avoid all danger and appear in front of everyone impeccable and untouchable. Only him. 

So he didn’t protest and let the man he despised wipe his face clean. It would get dirty again soon enough but… why not. 

“Izaya-san…” He said again, just when Izaya finished. “What are you really here for?”

“Why are you assuming I’m doing anything different than you, Kida-kun?” Izaya asked nonchalantly, but Kida could detect the bitterness in his words. He slightly tugged Izaya’s sleeve. “Oh? Because I’m wearing nice clothes? Let’s say that due to circumstances, someone currently owns me. Nothing more than that.” 

Kida started chuckling. “Just how the hell did you manage… no forget it. You’re Izaya-san. That’s enough I guess.”

“You’re putting too much faith in me.” Izaya replied. “Then again, you always did, didn’t you?” 

“And you were always like this.” Kida retorted and suddenly, a very visible shiver ran him down, making his entire body tremble. “Always like this… watching everything with detachment, say a couple of words and we’re all dancing at the palm of your hands, and when you fuck everything up, you don’t even have the courtesy to deal the finishing blow!” Kida just cried out, and his apathetic and composed exterior quickly broke into millions of pieces, struggling for dear life to hold back the tears that came up to his eyes and then failing miserably.

It had been easy for him to endure the torture, thinking that he did what he did to save his loved ones. Gradually, it shook all other thoughts from his mind, decided that he was in a completely other world and his thoughts just flew away from reality. But now, there was someone he knew right in front of him. Someone to remind him that this world was very real and that he hadn’t died just yet. He was soon reduced to a sobbing and crying mess, everything, from inside out, just plainly hurt. So he just cried, hiding his face from Izaya, refusing look at him, while at the same time a hand was caressing his head, trying to soothe him. A hand that felt very gentle but Kida knew that it was actually very cold. 

“…k-kill me.” He finally stuttered. “Kill me. I don’t mind even if it’s you.” He pleaded between sobs, his desperation now fully in view. “It just hurts so much… Izaya… please…”

“Masaomi.” Izaya said in a steady voice. “Calm down.” He told him, cupping the boy’s face with his hands, wiping away the tears with his thumbs. When Kida finally looked at him, he came across a face that was unusually serious. “I’m here. I’ll do something.” 

“No…” Kida shook his head. “Everything you do is shit… just…” 

“Oh, come on, Kida-kun, you know I’m pretty effective when I want to!” Izaya’s devilish smile resurfaced. “How about trying to put your faith in me once more?”

“No way.” Kida shook his head more feverishly this time and Izaya took his hands away from him, retracting them through the bars. He might be rejecting him, but at least now the boy seemed to be regaining his composure. “You are… no ally of mine…” 

“At least, I’m glad to see you haven’t changed.” Izaya commented, and then got up. “My position in here isn’t, you know, the one it used to be, but I can still stir up things a little bit…” He said, as he took a step behind. His trained ears had already detected the noise that Kida noticed a bit later. Like a horse carriage charging in? 

He understood when he saw the blond, tall guy, dashing through the surrounding tents and then using his foot as a break, making a bunch of dust fly around like a hurricane. 

“IIIZAAAYAAA!!” 

“Ah, and here is my master. Seems like I have to go!” Izaya playfully said. “See you, Kida-kun. Try to hang on in there as much as possi-“ He stopped talking as soon as he saw Kida’s face, distorted in fear. He had probably come across already Shizuo’s destructive ability, as it was demonstrated during the attack. 

Shizuo hadn’t seemed to pay any mind as he stomped towards them. “You BASTARD! You disappeared again, where the fuck are you going off to?”

“Come on, Shizu-chan, I was just taking a walk!” Izaya simply said, and tried to walk towards him, but suddenly he felt something halting him. He turned and saw that it was Kida’s hand, trembling, as he had grabbed him from the sleeve of his yukata and was still looking at him in pure terror. 

“Don’t go there!” He told him, unable to shake off the fear. He didn’t know the language so he had no clue of what was said between them. But he did know danger. He had witnessed what this man was capable of doing. “Don’t go there, if he catches you…!” 

Shizuo was already walking towards them, but as soon as he noticed Kida, he stopped. He was only some feet away, but he could clearly see what was happening and it was enough for him to understand. 

“He won’t do anything.” This was the only time Izaya’s expression truly softened as he said those words, and softly removed Kida’s hand from his sleeve. “It’s okay.” 

Kida wanted to scream that it was not okay, but Izaya had managed to convince him once again. So he just watched, as Izaya got near the other man, said something… and then barely avoided the other’s punch. 

Kida had seen that punch destroying houses. He had seen those hands toss carriages in the air. Getting caught and gang banged was bad, but if someone was caught from this, it would be worse. Worse. And Izaya did? What okay, how could it be okay!

He just watched a couple more of failed punches and some kicks that never reached target as well, Izaya saying something all the while. Then the terrifying man halted after a particular line. He didn’t say anything, his front bangs were just covering his eyes, as he finally grabbed Izaya by the arm and then dragged him in a direction away from there. Izaya glanced back one more time towards Kida and then he quietly followed. 

He lost sight of Kida soon enough. He just walked with Shizuo without saying anything for some more but then he decided it was enough. “Shizu-chan, you can let go of my arm now. I’m not going to run away, you know.”

“Don’t get involved with them. They are a lost cause.” Shizuo told him, without even turning to look at him and of course, without letting him go. 

“Hm? Like I was?” 

“Exactly.” 

“But here I am Shizu-chan, walking with you. Perfectly fine and untouched. Well… almost perfectly.” 

Shizuo stopped and then turned and glared at him, to which Izaya replied with his usual smug face. “Shut the fuck up. And do as I say. It doesn’t matter if it was someone you knew.”

“He is only sixteen.” Izaya informed him, his expression growing instantly dark. “He’s a boy. At the very least, I could get him some water-“

“There are younger ones.” Shizuo reminded him. “And don’t try to make fun of me. You’re not the type that would get emotional or sympathetic over something like this! I don’t care to know what the fuck are you planning, and I don’t care if you knew him or not either! It’s war. You can’t help them!”

“But you stopped throwing punches as soon as I told you I knew him, didn’t you?” Izaya pointed out, and didn’t stop even when he felt the fingers grabbing him digging into his skin. “What’s the deal in that, can you explain me Shizu-chan?”

Shizuo looked down at him, glaring and gritting his teeth like most of the times. “Piss off. If you dare to go back there again, it’s a given I’m not helping you if anyone decides to jump you. And I won’t care either.” 

“You are not answering me.” Izaya insisted. 

“I’m not playing your stupid games!”

“It’s not a game. I’m asking you.” Izaya was saying all this very quietly. “Why can’t I bring water to him?” 

“Because it’s over. And you can’t help him. We can’t help them, I told you…”

“YOU ARE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE!”

When the people who don’t get angry finally snap, it’s always an ugly sight. Shizuo froze and looked at Izaya with wide eyes, as the black haired man covered his mouth with his hand, even though now it was too late, the screamed out words had slipped by. Many people around turned and looked at them, they had never heard Izaya yelling in rage before. 

After some moments, the clocks started ticking again, but Shizuo didn’t say anything and he didn’t get angry. Izaya just bowed his head and quietly followed him.


	14. Chapter 14

YOU ARE A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! 

Shizuo messed his hair uneasily, as he recalled vividly Izaya’s words. It wasn’t like this was the first time he had yelled at him or got angry at him. There had definitely been moments like that between them, albeit seldom, but Izaya had never before dared to shout like this in public. Ever. And something told Shizuo that it just wasn’t Izaya’s style, one way or the other, to let emotions show like this… 

He was baffled and that irritated him, though not as much as it usually would. He was indeed bothered by the word Izaya used, a ‘hypocrite’. In the end, he was unable to retort anything to that comment, and he silently led Izaya in their tent and then just as silently, left. He was actually on duty, he needed to go around patrolling the perimeter of the camp, but he had just thought that he should check first to see where the other was… up to nothing good as usual. Having Izaya around was like trying to catch a cat; always strolling around and doing whatever he pleased and then appearing and showing affection only when he had something to gain from it. 

Affection…

If he kept messing his hair like this, Shizuo would probably be bald by the age of thirty, but there was no way he could stop himself. His eyebrows had taken the shape of a permanent frown and he kept chewing at the cigarette on his lips, so tenaciously that it got cut and fell off more than once. He was patrolling like he was supposed to but he might as well just walk around aimlessly, it would make no difference. After all, he was too deeply preoccupied into his own thoughts to pay any serious attention to his surroundings. 

Shizuo had never had any serious relationship before. His only previous sexual experiences consisted of passing a night before and after an expedition at the bed of a mistress, preferably older than him. Every soldier used to go to hookers either when they needed to celebrate that they were alive, either when there was a pretty good chance they would die soon. Celebrating life, they had called it, and Shizuo had just gone with the flow. 

He still vaguely remembered the first time when he was only seventeen years old. He had just gotten back from a mission, purely and utterly disgusted to the core of his soul with the atrocities he had witnessed. His comrades had indulged themselves in the brothels but he had stubbornly refused and chose to get himself drunk instead as he always did. Maybe deep down, he was afraid that he would become like them. He didn’t remember much after that, except the cold air when he stepped out of the bar, a black limo, the flaming red long dress with the placket on the left, some pearls and the streams of light brown hair. The next morning he had woken up alone and naked in an expensive hotel suite. 

Later he found out that she was a courtesan, namely a prostitute for a few and rich people, as he understood it. But she hadn’t taken any money from him. After that experience, he had sought a couple of other times the company of such women. The only thing that had come clear after this was that he liked them quiet, dignified, a bit older than him and with big boobs.

Compared to that, Izaya…

Shizuo groaned, unable to come into any sort of conclusion. Izaya didn’t fit the description of his type at all. And yet, kissing him hadn’t been unpleasant at the least. Instead, it had moved his heart like nothing else had done before. Honestly, realizing afterwards how much he had lost himself in it, it was kind of scary. Izaya would be his doom; that was the only thing he could say for sure. 

A ‘hypocrite’ though… He hadn’t thought of himself as one until then, but he had to admit that Izaya was right. It must have seemed so easy to Izaya, for Shizuo to beat all of those bastards’ asses and save the people they were tormenting. But Shizuo knew that when the time would come, Izaya would understand that their army just didn’t work that way. He was smart, he should get it; he should have already gotten it in fact, but he was just denying it now because he saw someone he knew. 

Having had enough, Shizuo spotted a small canal with clear water and decided to splash some onto his face, in an attempt to clear his head. And he did so, stepping over some bushes, kneeling down at the riverside and cupping the cold water with both of his hands, splashing it fervently on his face. Then he slowly lowered his hands, only to come across what he least expected. 

Exactly in front of him, at the other side of the canal, was a woman. Kneeled down, having a large sac in her hands, she was obviously there to gather some water from the canal. She wore a pitch black robe, slightly different than the one Izaya was wearing, somewhat more feminine, with a larger, yellow belt around her waist. The weirdest thing about her was an also yellow piece of cloth that she had wrapped her head with, making it impossible for Shizuo to see her face. With the way she had tied it up, it seemed like two bumps resembling cat ears were showing at either side of her head.

They both remain completely frozen, looking at each other, unable to make a move. It was like time had stopped for both of them, until Shizuo, without thinking much, reached out his hand towards her, uttering: “H-Hey…”

She sprang herself back, throwing the sac away and taking a stance like she was ready to brawl with him, without saying a word. It might have seemed hopeless, but Shizuo immediately tensed up. He had been into fights for so long that he knew when to recognize a worthy opponent. As well as he knew for a fact that had Izaya been allowed to strike him back, it wouldn’t be an easy fight at all. 

His thoughts about Izaya must have clouded his face dangerously, for she jumped back another step and reached for something inside her waistband. Shizuo slowly stood up, bringing his hands forward, in an attempt to calm her down. “Hey… take it easy… I won’t harm you…” 

But of course, she couldn’t understand him. As soon as he tried to cross the canal and come at her side, she drew out in the blink of an eye a hidden black scythe, which she was hiding underneath all of that clothing. It was small but it looked ominous enough. 

Under different circumstances, Shizuo would have been extremely angered, but now he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. The woman with the scythe looked dangerous but he knew very well, who was the most dangerous one for the other at that time. So he didn’t stop. He crossed over at her side and kept talking to her, trying to ensure her that he was no enemy. Well, he was, technically speaking, but still…

After some seconds, she did the unexpected; turned at her hills and dashed away to escape. “Wait!” Shizuo shouted after her and instinctively started chasing her. But they hadn’t managed to go very far. His yelling had startled her and as she looked behind to see where he was, she stepped her right foot down at the worst possible angle, sliding over some rocks. Shizuo saw the sole of her foot turning up, he heard the sinister crack, and in no time, she was sprawled onto the ground, without making a single sound. 

Shizuo was more startled to hear nothing from her than any kind of scream, with that injury she must hurt like hell. As he towered above her, he noticed that the yellow scarf she was using had become undone and now, he could see her face.

She turned and looked at him with defiant, green eyes, and messy brown hair that reached the middle of her neck. Shizuo was shocked to see one of Izaya’s people not with the usual characteristics of his race, with the black and narrow eyes and equally black hair. In Shizuo’s world, there were many races, mixed with each other, there were people of Izaya’s race, in which Shizuo was pretty sure that he belonged to as well, but there were also dark skinned people, natural red heads and so on. In Izaya’s world, there was only one race. And discovering someone who didn’t belong to it there just left him stunned. 

Besides, her ankle had started to swell up and take a really ugly purple color. Her face was contorted in pain but she still wouldn’t shout. Seeing all this he tried to kneel next to her but a slash in the air just inches away from his face made that impossible. She still had the scythe, and she kept slashing the air, trying desperately to keep a distance between them, with tears prickling at the corner of her eyes. Shizuo gritted his teeth and caught the base of the scythe with ease. Just by applying a little pressure, he tore it away from her and threw it behind, as he finally managed to kneel right next to her. 

Now the tears had started freely and just as silently roaming down her cheeks, as she was forced to resort to weak punches against the man in front of her. After letting her land a couple of totally harmless hits, he realized that she was actually opening her mouth and was moving it like she was talking, but no sound would come out of it. It didn’t take long for him to realize as a result that she wasn’t talking because she didn’t want to but because she wasn’t able to. This woman was a mute; she couldn’t speak. 

The guilt had already started eating at his gut but he didn’t have time. He finally caught her wrists and immobilized her, watching her in also silent understanding, trying to shout out from the bottom of her heart for help. She must have seen what his people used to do to women like her. The tears had soaked her face, her shoulders were trembling from the silent sobbing and her mouth kept repeating a single pattern. Something like ‘Shira’ or ‘Shimra’ or something like that, he couldn’t begin to guess right. 

Now he really felt like he should have paid more attention when Izaya was speaking and that he should have been bothered to learn a couple of basic words from the other’s language. He had snobbishly assumed that he wouldn’t need to learn anything but reality had proved him wrong after all. A couple of words would have been fine! Shit, an ‘okay’ would have been fine! 

“Please don’t cry.” He finally told her, praying that the tone of her voice would get to her. “Please… you’re okay. You’re going to be okay.” He repeatedly said, bitterly remembering that there was a time Izaya was like that too and even worse. His heart was suddenly clasped in an iron grip that came out of nowhere and it fucking hurt…

Seeing that nothing was being done to her, she slowly stopped crying and looked up at him. He looked back in her eyes and then gently let her hands go. She seemed to have calmed down, so Shizuo didn’t waste any time. He picked a stick from the ground, snapped it to the appropriate length and used it to keep her leg steady, as he took the scarf without any warning and tied it up tightly in the place her leg was hurt. It obviously pained her and that earned him a few punches on the shoulder at first, but when she realized what he was trying to do, she immediately stopped. Instead, she watched him, shocked and dumbfounded. 

Shizuo had a lot of experience with broken bones and injuries and he knew how to take care of them. Her leg was perfectly tied up in no time. When Shizuo finished, he looked at her and the stunned expression on her face made him avert his gaze in embarrassment. “It will be okay now… just try not to step on it too much…” 

And then, suddenly, it dawned on him; what should he do with her next? If he wanted to act like a soldier, he should take her captive. He was patrolling, and she was in the premise, that was his job. But if he wanted to act like a human being, he should just let her go. And then prove Izaya right, that he was a hypocrite who killed some people by doing his job and then just let others live, but only the one he chose, out of pure self interest. 

And who the fuck cared what Izaya said. And who the fuck cared if he was right or wrong. 

“Go.” He instructed her, as he grabbed her arm and took her up with him, making her stand up. She toppled a bit at first but soon found her balance. “Go. Get away from here!” He told her harshly and he shoved her away, towards the depth of the woods. She nervously looked at him, hesitant, not knowing what exactly she should do. “What don’t you understand? I said get away from here!” Shizuo barked at her, giving her the final push. He wasn’t the only one patrolling, if they stayed like this for too long it was certain that they would be found. 

She had made her decision. There wasn’t much that she could do to thank him at that time anyway. She awkwardly bowed, and then hurried as much as her injured food allowed her, disappearing into the woods. 

Shizuo just left there, watching her beautiful form disappearing from his sight, like a fairy in a dream. He envisioned telling Izaya that he met a beautiful woman that day, but then he guessed what sarcasm and irony he would hear from it so he automatically decided it would be the best for his nerves to stay silent. And he hadn’t even learned her name… 

Weird meeting as it was, it had lifted a weight off his chest. Like he was still human. Sure, a hypocrite, but still human… at least, it slightly started to seem like that to him. And truth be told, if he was a hypocrite, what did that make Izaya? Izaya, the one who had tried to seduce him for his own purposes? 

But even so…

When he finally got back, the usual frown he wore on his face was missing and he seemed strangely calm. The first thing he saw as he walked in, was Izaya, sitting on the sheets, fiddling with a photo camera. He glanced up at Shizuo but he didn’t make a comment. Instead, he ignored him and kept playing with the device in his hands. 

“Are you, by any chance, sulking?” Shizuo felt the need to inquire. 

Izaya let out a small laugh. “Please, Shizu-chan, we’re not kids anymore! Not feeling like seeing your face isn’t today’s occurrence; it’s a permanent one.” 

“Oh really?” Shizuo wondered whatever happened to all the ‘you’re so handsome’ comments and the rest. 

“Really. You make me sick.” Izaya turned his head to look him in the eyes as he stated that, but then he turned his attention back at the camera. “So sick I feel like I’ll throw up.” 

“I’m still not going to let you go see him.” Shizuo declared, kneeling down where he kept his weapons, to casually start the everyday routine of their maintenance. 

“Why.” Came the stern voice from behind him.

“You know very well the answer to that.” 

“No, Shizu-chan, I don’t. Enlighten me.” 

“Okay.” Shizuo finally turned around to face Izaya. “Say you go there. What will you do when you see him?” 

“I’ll give him some water. I’ll get him some blanket to cover himself. I’ll talk to him.” Izaya clarified patiently. He was in the mood of talking. Shizuo knew how things tended to end up when he did, but he complied anyway. 

“Fine.” Shizuo nodded. “And then?”

“…what to do you mean?” 

“And then. What are you going to do next?” Seeing that Izaya wasn’t responding but he was just looking at him, he continued: “I’ll tell you what you’ll do next. You’ll just watch him getting gang banged and then killed like a pig. That’s what you’ll do next.” Izaya still wasn’t saying anything, he just kept staring at him. “For fuck’s sake, you bastard, do that kid and yourself a favor and spare him the half assed kindness. If you’re not planning to save him, don’t step near him!”

That was it. “And if I said I wanted to save him?” Izaya’s eyes shone as he got immediately from his sitting position forward on his knees, nearing Shizuo like a panther nears his prey. “Would you help me then?”

Shizuo narrowed his eyes. “Careful. What you’re saying is dangerous. You know that, don’t you?” 

“So?” Izaya didn’t seem bothered in the least. “It’s not like anyone would get hurt, right?” 

“What the fuck are you planning?” Shizuo’s rage had started boiling again. The last time Izaya had that look on his eyes, six people had died and he almost had too. 

“Planning? That’s a heavy word!” Izaya chuckled, as he let himself fall behind, sitting on his backside again. “I’m just mentioning a possibility… only a possibility.” 

Shizuo knew that look. The cunning smile, and the eyes that were looking somewhere far ahead. “You think I’m an idiot? You’re definitely planning something aren’t you!” 

“Shizu-chan, stop thinking too much, it’s not good for your brain.” Izaya casually replied. “You only have that much! Don’t get it too tired now…” 

“That’s it, I’m killing you.” Shizuo growled, slowly standing up, cracking his knuckles. “Better say your prayers, you fucking bastard, I’ve put up with your shit long enough!” He said, as he wore on his enraged eyes and his ferocious grin. 

“Whoa, Shizu-chan is so scary!” Izaya didn’t make any other movement than raising his hands apologetically in the air. “Poor me, what am I going to do? At least I know I won’t get through what Kida had to… right?” 

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?” The vein on Shizuo’s forehead was popping up dangerously. 

“My master? My jailer? My baby-sitter, perhaps?” 

“No, you little shit. The one you were making out with so passionately just the other day that your tongue had reached his tonsils! Or did you conveniently forget about it?”

Slapping him in the face would have been less effective. Izaya just stared at him, wide eyed, for some moments, and then he glared with such malice, that even Shizuo almost took a step back. “What can I say. Congratulations.” He finally said slowly, like he was promising Shizuo his imminent death. 

Shizuo felt his own anger evaporating in front of Izaya’s wrath. But if he showed that, he would lose. That was the way it always was; a game. A game, in which they would stake just about everything, in order not to lose to each other. Shit, was it supposed to be like this? This so called ‘understanding’ thing… It was like the more they knew each other the worse they dealt with each other. 

“Izaya… I…” He was at a loss of words and Izaya’s gaze was indicating that if he did not answer, he should get out of his face. “I didn’t say that to insult you, god damn it! I only said it because that’s got to count for something! And I don’t know what it’s got to count for, so…”

“So you want me to tell you.” Izaya cut him off, reaching the conclusion by his own. “Sorry, but I have nothing to say on that matter. And that’s final.”

“Fine. Let’s do it again then, so I can figure it out on my own.” 

Izaya looked like he would throw the camera on his face. “I’m really, really not in the mood of doing something like that right now.” He threw a bitter smile at him. “What about you, Shizu-chan? Do you seriously feel like kissing me now?”

“No, I want to punch you. Many times. In the face.” Shizuo’s expression was rather deadpan. “But then I’ll know what it means!”

“Why aren’t you just doing it, then.” Izaya shrugged. 

“I can’t do it if you don’t say I can!”

Izaya’s head slumped into the palm of his hand. “I don’t think I can deal with this conversation anymore, do me a favor and stop talking.” He said, completely exasperated. “I feel like I’m toasting my brains the more I talk to you, and unlike you, I still need them.” 

“What was that, you bastard? You wanna talk to my fist instead?”

“Yes, actually, I would prefer that. Unlike your tongue, your fist is skilled!” 

When both of them realized what had just been said and how it sounded, they stopped saying anything for some good seconds. Then Shizuo tried. “You meant…” 

“You know what I meant, get your mind out of the gutter.” Izaya rolled his eyes. “Seriously, Shizu-chan, for someone who’s invaded another’s country, one would think that you would be quite familiar with the concept of claiming something as yours, yet you still seem to be struggling with it.”

“This has nothing to do with taking what you want by force!” Shizuo protested, thankful that his cheeks were already red from anger and his embarrassment probably didn’t show. “It has to do with-“

“What?” Izaya cut him off. “It has to do with what?” 

Shizuo halted. He didn’t even remember what he had wanted to say before Izaya interrupted him. Now it all seemed so complicated, and honestly, such a pain in the ass. He wasn’t good at dealing with complicated things, he knew that. “I don’t know.” He finally said. Starting this conversation was a mistake from the first place. It wasn’t even like he was seeking this bastard’s affections, or anything like that. Izaya had understood that before him, as it seemed. Like always. Pissed him off.

“I figured.” Izaya concluded, putting the camera to the side and then standing up to face Shizuo on equal ground. “You’re like a kid, Shizu-chan. I bet you’re still under the impression that you should do things like kissing or having sex only when you’re in love, aren’t you? Even though you’ve seen with your own eyes that people can do that just for fun.” He said, as he walked slowly towards him. 

“Is there something wrong with that?” Shizuo asked. Of course he had done it too just for fun, but that didn’t mean he didn’t believe in the ideal. 

Izaya gave him that familiar bitter smile. “At least, I prefer it better than what I’ve seen around me here.” He said, as he was now in front on Shizuo, quite close to him. “Shizu-chan is a monster. He can be scary at times.” He said, as he let his hands roam up and down Shizuo’s collar, gently. Shizuo waited for the underlying ‘but’, but it never came. 

“Are you scared of me?” He saw Izaya’s head nodding below his. Their height difference was neither too great nor too short after all. 

“Sometimes.” Izaya added softly to the nod. “When you first took me here, I wanted to die.” Then he looked up to stare at Shizuo’s eyes, his own eyes indicating that he had much left to say but he wouldn’t say it just yet. 

“So, you don’t want to die anymore?” Shizuo’s own expression had softened, he could feel it. 

“Watch me.” Izaya said as he grabbed softly but more steadily Shizuo’s collar, slightly tiptoed and brought himself forwards, sealing Shizuo’s lips with his. Shizuo just stayed there, unable to move a single muscle, just feeling the warmth of Izaya’s lips.

When they parted, they looked at each other for some moments and then they leaned again in for a second kiss. And another one after that. And another one. And another. Until Shizuo wasn’t able to handle it anymore and he grabbed Izaya from the waist and the back of his head, hungrily devouring the other man’s mouth. 

To heck with words. To heck with everything, Shizuo decided, and let his head go truly empty, as he allowed his body to take control of experiencing that amazing narcotic. He kissed the other like he would die tomorrow, kissed him like he was his everything, like his heart would stop beating if he were to go away. Without realizing in the hot haze that engulfed him, he had moved Izaya towards the sheets. He heard him mewling underneath him as he gently lowered him down, in the place he was sitting before. Then he proceeded to attack the other’s neck hungrily, as he guided him slowly to lie down on his back, while he shifted above him, trying to get better access. Izaya’s moans were the only thing that was reaching his ears, but he had his hands full just by trying to feel him. Feel his warmth, feel his beating heart, feel the softness of his skin, as his hands roamed up and down the other’s entire body, both inside and outside of his clothes. He concluded that the other’s thighs felt the best, and delved his hands into Izaya’s black robes, trying to cup them and feel even more of them. 

“Shi… Shizu-chan…” Izaya let out, as Shizuo went further down, kissing at his chest. “Shizu-chan… enough!” Shizuo didn’t register what he heard at first, he only understood when Izaya’s hands were clasped onto his, trying to get them out of his clothing. “Enough…” He weakly repeated. 

And Shizuo stopped. Izaya had his eyes closed tightly, but that didn’t prevent Shizuo from reaching up, hold Izaya’s head with his one hand and placing a tender kiss on his forehead. “Okay.” He just said. He understood, as he simply hugged Izaya, and they just stayed there, simply relishing each other’s warmth.


	15. Chapter 15

One day.

That’s how long Izaya waited after his tender encounter with Shizuo to sneak out at night. He knew exactly what he was risking, but there was no more time left to spare. Plus, as current things were standing, he suspected that Shizuo wouldn’t probably treat him as bad as he would before. 

He had thrown away so much pride since the day he came in that world. It would make little difference now to throw a bit more. 

After all, there was no telling as to how longer would Kida still be alive. That night suited Izaya all the more, given that Shizuo had gone out in night patrol duty. Those nights, even though not nearly as bad as the expedition nights, still used to be hellish for him even though he would never admit it. But now, everything felt normal. And perhaps more convenient. 

Izaya was holding a white bathrobe in his hands, the only piece of clothing he had been able to find by then. It didn’t take long for the guards to let him through. All of them had finished by then and no one would risk picking a fight with him, and thusly, Heiwajima Shizuo, especially when there was absolutely nothing in it for them. Constant victory gives people an unshakable sense of security, after all.

He found Kida in a position much worse than when he left him. The relentless torture had turned the healthy teenager to a ghost of himself, having broken thoroughly both his body but more importantly, his spirit. Kida was just lying there, face down, with a body so dirty and battered up that it was impossible to move, and empty eyes staring at nothing. 

“Kida-kun!” Izaya said imperatively, as he kneeled next to him. At first, there was no reaction. “Masaomi!” He tried again, this time louder. 

That seemed to be a bit more effective. Kida blinked and his eyes traveled up, until they reached Izaya’s face. They widened for a bit, and then, tears surfaced, helplessly overflowing. “I…za…ya…san…” He struggled to utter. “Izaya-san… Izaya-san…”

“It’s me.” Izaya didn’t hesitate to pass his hand through the bars and caress Kida’s head, without caring a single bit of how dirty and crunchy his hair was. “It’s me Masaomi.”

“Y-You’re alive…!” Kida sobbed, unable to restrain himself. “You’re alive! I thought you’d die! I thought he’d kill you!”

Izaya let out a small laugh. “Shizu-chan isn’t going to kill me. Well… at least not yet.” He said, as he gave Kida the bathrobe. 

But Kida didn’t take it. Perhaps he didn’t have the strength to. “B-But he definitely did some bad things to you… all because of me. All because of me… because of me…” Izaya was sure that when Kida was saying these words he wasn’t talking only about him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sor-“ 

“Aaah, don’t go apologizing to me now. It’s so out of your character. Besides, wouldn’t you think I’d know how to handle the bad things by now? I’ve been here longer than you after all. I’m your senior.” 

Izaya’s devilish smile had made Kida’s skin crawl, even more than it already had. “I-I’m sor-“ 

“Kida-kun,” Izaya cut him off again, “Enough. No matter how much you apologize, I’ll continue being here. I’ll continue being with Shizuo, and I’ll continue being humiliated, tortured, and torn in half by him and his comrades. And so will you.”

Izaya always had that special talent to send people spiraling down the darkest depth of their souls, always making them come face to face with their absolute worst fears. Kida’s eyes widened in terror, but he had nothing to say back. So he just hung his face, accepting it, without saying a single thing.

“But,” Izaya continued, “I’ll stay, but do you really have to?” 

There they were. Those glimmering eyes. Those full of ambition and malice eyes. To Kida they were beautiful, exciting, and hateful all the same, as he had learned by now to recognize them. When Izaya had that look, something really bad would always happen. The question was for whom. So when Izaya carefully unfolded the robe and presented Kida a steel hunting knife, Kida wasn’t even surprised. 

“Their security is lax, if I may say, nonexistent.” He kept on, without resisting a smile. “I could say that they are really stupid, but I don’t really blame them, there is no one that could cause trouble here… right?”

“What do you want me to do?” Kida said, exasperated, as it seemed, but somehow he had just found the courage to sit up instead of letting himself stay sprawled down. “I can’t kill them all and escape, obviously. Do you want me to just kill myself or take down someone you particularly hate before they kill me? Or someone that you’d benefit the most from his death?”

“I see you got more talkative, Kida-kun. I love that in you.” Izaya confessed and Kida glared hard at him. “But no. You know I like making elaborate preparations before I hit.” 

“So I’ve learned.” Kida hissed. “What are you planning then?”

“Let’s see… What are the things that I have taught you so far? Can you remember?”

“To never trust insidious bastards like you.”

“How cruel!” Izaya shook his head. “Well besides that; I was thinking something more along of the lines of always seeing the bigger picture… and that some things are not exactly as they seem.” Izaya slightly licked his lips as he grabbed the knife’s handle, and opened it, much to Kida’s outmost surprise, revealing that the handle was hollow. Inside, was stored a piece of paper.

“This…” Kida reached his hand and took it, as Izaya was looking around to see if anyone was watching them. But the few guards were too far and with their backs turned at them. “What is…”

“Cool isn’t it? I made it. I have lots of free time when Shizu-chan is away after all. Besides, I relish the idea so much.” Izaya seemed so happy as Kida was slightly unfolding the paper. “The handle being more harmful than the point.” 

When Kida read what was written in there, he almost lost consciousness. His hands started trembling uncontrollably, because he was smart enough to realize the importance of what was written in there. “This is… this… you’re crazy!” 

“I wouldn’t call me that. Just a tad bit more observant than the usual maybe?” 

“Y-you… how…”

Izaya’s cheerful expression changed drastically into a serious one. “Don’t piss yourself just yet. It might not be useful after all. Still, it’s all we have.” He sighed. “Everything I know is written in there. Their numbers, their hierarchy, their weapons, their weaknesses, everything. And you,” he wasted no time grabbing Kida from down his chin and making him look straight up into his own eyes, “are going to deliver this to Awakusu’s Shiki.” He gave Kida some seconds but he still seemed petrified. “Did you hear me? You’re getting out of here. And delivering this to him.” 

“B-But how… how!” Kida was almost choking. “If it was so easy to get out, don’t you think I would have done it already!”

“Easy. This camp has a pattern.” Izaya explained to him. “You’re actually not so far from the woods. Every time they move, they’re setting it up in the exact same position so they can get quickly and flawlessly organized. I’ve seen it and helped many times. If you find a way to get out of this cage, and it’s easy now that you have a knife, you just have to escape unnoticed and turn right from where we are now. If you keep walking for ten minutes, you’ll be able to get out.” 

“Ten… minutes…” The thought that freedom was so near was enough to make Kida’s insides burn. “How… are you… near?”

“Hm? You mean, where I live?” Izaya regained his careless attitude. “Not that near. Our- Shizu-chan’s tent is at your left, then right at the third block. It’s recognizable though, because it’s bigger than the rest… Shizu-chan doesn’t like cramped places you see. He doesn’t like many things. Like me. Oh, but he does like sweets! Kind of incompatible with his image isn’t it? But their sweets here are so disgustingly sweet, just like Shizu-chan, I can’t eat them.”

“Yeah… I don’t care about that.” Kida rolled his eyes, as Izaya’s bad habit was kicking in again. 

“Right… I must be boring you.” Izaya shrugged, as Kida was dressing with the bathrobe, hiding the knife inside one of his sleeves. “You have important things to do after all.” 

“Yeah, thanks for not putting any pressure on me.” Kida slightly smiled as he was trying to stand up. Seeing if his legs could hold him. “I’ll do as you asked of me. After all, even if this is a trap, I’d gain nothing if I just sat here all day, getting fucked and waiting to be killed. It’s still a chance.”

“Just for the record, I’d also gain nothing by setting you up, Kida-kun.”

“I can’t know that.” Kida replied, having finally steadied his legs. “I don’t know that. But it’s better than nothing.” 

“Masaomi.”

Izaya was being serious again. When Kida looked up at him, his face was stern.

“We’ll probably not see each other ever again.” 

In another time, under any other circumstances, that phrase would have made Kida jump ten feet high from glee. But now it cut him like a sword slash. Kida realized dreadfully that the thing he wanted the most right then was to grab the man in front of him and take him away, away from this hell that had hurt both of them so badly. “Why aren’t you coming with me? Come with me!” He almost begged. “Come, we…”

Izaya shook his head. “I can’t do that…” He looked down. “I told you the way to get out. Don’t you think that if I could, I would have done so long ago?” 

“Why? Why can’t you? What’s keeping you here?”

Izaya didn’t reply. He just slightly smiled, while he turned his back to Kida. “Bye, bye, Kida-kun. Give my best regards to Mikado-kun and Anri-chan. And tell Shinra and Celty I said hi if you happen to see them.” Then he turned to go away, and after one step, he stopped, looking straight ahead, far from Kida. “And if you would happen to come across my sisters…” 

Kida bit his lower lip, not knowing what to say. But in the end, he decided it was better than nothing. “The last thing I heard of them was from Mikado that they were with Aoba. I don’t know any more than that… sorry.” 

It was like suddenly the tension left Izaya’s body. “I see. That’s fine.” He said, and then he kept walking on. “Bye, bye.” He finally said, turned at the left and disappeared. 

When Izaya reached his own tent, he was relieved to discover that Shizuo hadn’t returned yet. He also realized that he was extremely lucky, for he only had about five minutes to sit down and let his vigorously beating heart calm down from the adrenaline, when Shizuo walked in. 

He was surprised to find Izaya up. “Hey. Why are you still awake?” 

“I was waiting for Shizu-chan to come.” Izaya offered him a fake smile. “You know I can’t live without you, I wanted to see you some more-“

“Cut the fucking lies. I hate that!” Shizuo huffed as he let down his shotgun. 

“Hm? But I’m not lying…” Izaya tilted his head suggestively, and then started making space for Shizuo to come and lie beside him. “I really… really wanted to see Shizu-chan.” 

“Oh, shut up.” Shizuo sat beside him and then proceeded to kiss him, a simple but loud kiss upon the lips. Izaya didn’t resist or protest at all. “Did you drink all of the coffee in the bottle I gave you?”

Izaya raised his eyebrow. “How do you know that?” Was his monstrous sense of smell kicking again?

“I figured.” Shizuo’s face had yet again taken that deadpan expression that made Izaya want to smack him and wipe it off. “Well I didn’t. I’m warning you, I’m tired and I’m going to sleep. If you don’t let me sleep, I’ll kick you out. Understood?”

“Should I go sleep with Kadota instead?” 

“Should I break your head into the fucking ground?”

“So possessive!” Izaya chirped and circled his arms around Shizuo’s neck, marveling the wolfish grin plastered on his irritated face. “Tell me, Shizu-chan, are you jealous that I might do with Kadota the same things I occasionally do with you?” 

“Ha! Who is!” Shizuo could be very childish from time to time and they both knew it. “Like I care! Do what you like!” He said, as he abruptly turned away, freed himself from Izaya’s hands, and stubbornly made himself comfortable on the sheets, lying on his side.

“Ah, Shizu-chan, you know that’s not the right answer!” Izaya chastised him, with a complaining tone. “At times like this, you’re supposed to say: Yes, I am jealous, I don’t want anyone else to ever touch you but me…” Izaya had seductively bent over Shizuo and whispered the two final words into his ear. 

“Oh, shut up.” Shizuo repeated, turning around, and wrapping his arms around Izaya’s body, like he used to do every night. “Just go to sleep already…” He muttered. 

Despite himself, Izaya gradually started to relax inside Shizuo’s arms, just like any other night. It had become a routine for his body by now, Shizuo’s arms that seemed to be a barrier keeping out all of the bad things this world could throw at him, no matter how nasty. Though his mind was still running towards Kida, there was nothing Izaya could do if he was caught. There might be some trouble if they found the knife though… and if he was so unlucky that they would somehow discover the trick with the handle and find the letter. If that happened, Izaya was dead. By Shizuo’s hand or by someone else’s. It didn’t really matter…

With thoughts like that, he gripped even more tightly onto Shizuo than usual. It was the first time he thought that this was good, that he didn’t want to lose it. But that was probably his cowardice speaking. After all, some minutes later, Shizuo’s hug had done the charm and they were both sleeping deeply, exhausted by the long day they had. 

On his side though, Kida wasn’t so lucky. He had waited patiently for the guards to fall asleep so that he could slide past them. The urge to grab the knife Izaya had given him and slit their throats right then was extremely unbearable, but somehow, he managed to walk past that. He turned right where Izaya had showed him, and kept walking straight. His heart was beating like crazy in his chest, his entire body, especially between his legs, was hurting like hell, yet he kept going. There was a deadly silence around him and the only light was coming from the moon. 

He had barely taken twenty steps into this eerie atmosphere when he saw a bright flash right ahead and he heard voices. To his outmost terror, he realized that he had walked straight into a night patrol. He should have known better, he should have tried to cover himself more, but now the damage was done. He jumped aside but the light had already caught a glimpse of him and someone was clearly yelling at him. Without giving it much thought, he turned tail and fled, forgetting any kind of pain he felt until then. 

Thankfully, the patrol was far away from him, but their voices would soon wake up others and even he could tell that in no time, the entire camp would be out to get him. It was hopeless. That was already decided and yet he couldn’t stop running, choosing turns he didn’t know and a path unrecognizable out of sheer desperation. He could feel the voices and the lights multiplying, and though he was still far away, it would only be a matter of time for them to find him. He didn’t even know why he was running for, when in his haze, he spotted a tent slightly bigger than the rest.

Turn left, and then right at the third block. 

His legs must have unconsciously moved him there, considering that Kida could barely remember his own name through the haze and all the nightmarish feelings rushing through him, just like when he was being violated. Even though in his hardest of times, even though he had been duped by Izaya in the worst possible way before, he was still depending on him. He was still depending and admiring that charming and unscrupulous guy. He had even idolized him once, he had gotten painfully disillusioned, and yet, he still… 

The voices were coming near and Kida was just standing in front of the tent, terrified to get caught but even more terrified to get disillusioned once more. To him, Izaya was a bad person, possibly the worst, if he excluded his abusers, but he was a strong person. He was a person that had come up with a way to counter the impossible, he was the only person that seemed like he had conquered and mastered everything and held no fear for the devils destroying their world. He had seemed so unbroken, so untouchable, Kida had gained so much courage from him…

But if he walked through that tent, he knew that the Izaya he would come across would be nothing like that. He would probably be someone dirty and broken, just like him. He didn’t want to see an Izaya like that. Not when he was supposed to be so strong and above everything. And even if he did see, it couldn’t save him. That monster that was having him would just throw Kida back at the other monsters. There was nothing he could hope to gain from it. 

Then the lights and the voices reached the previous corner and Kida decided that he could do just everything to just gain some more time. Just to delay the inevitable, just not to let himself fall in their hands for as long as he could avoid it. He just had to ask Izaya for help. 

So he walked in, just in time to escape the patrol unnoticed. 

He just stood there. The light from outside was enough to slightly illuminate the inside of the tent, without making what was inside visible. But Kida just stood there, as he saw the two men sleeping, locked into a tight embrace. This picture was simply unreal for Kida, as he struggled to process that the monstrous invader was holding and at the same time, was being held by the devilish informant that threw people’s lives into chaos. The action was so tender and so unbefitting for both of them that Kida lost all sense of time. He didn’t even know how long he was staring, before the blond man with the destructive power started to stir. 

The voices around were becoming louder, and that irritated Shizuo. There was gruffness in his moves, as he instinctively pulled Izaya closer and then opened his eyes, slightly raising his head from the arm he was using as a pillow. That was when he saw Kida. 

They both remained unmoving, staring at each other with wide, stunned eyes, all sleep now gone from Shizuo’s face. He slowly raised himself up until he was in a sitting position, and that served to slowly wake Izaya up as well. 

“Hm?” He muttered, still half-asleep. “Shizu-chan, what’s wrong?” He said, as he reached a hand and grabbed Shizuo’s shoulder, raising himself up as well. He was about to   
nuzzle the other’s neck, when he caught a glimpse of who was in the same room as them. 

It didn’t take long for either of them to make the connection between Kida’s presence there and the shouting voices outside. ‘Where the fuck is he?’ ‘Go find him!’ ‘Did you find anything?’ ‘Should we wake everyone up?’… 

Shizuo stood up in the speed of lightning, but so did Izaya. He was already opening his mouth to scream bloody murder towards both of them, but Izaya was far quicker at slapping a hand over his mouth, making Shizuo pause from mere shock. 

“Don’t say anything!” Izaya whispered, in a barely audible voice. The fabric of the tents was thick but not thick enough to cover most of the sounds coming from inside. That was one of the reasons a rumor was going around that the two of them weren’t actually fucking. “Please! Please, please, please Shizu-chan I beg of you, I beg you don’t say anything, let him go!” He desperately begged, literally hanging on to Shizuo. “Just don’t say anything for now!”

Shizuo growled and grabbed Izaya’s hand, shoving it violently away. Kida felt the roots of his hair standing up at the sight. But when Shizuo spoke, it was only a whisper. An enraged one, but a whisper after all. “What the fuck? What the fuck you fucking insect? What is he doing there? What in fucking hell did you do again!” 

“Please, I can explain.” Izaya tried to start reasoning with him, acting composed already. “Just calm down, I can explain-“

“The fuck can you explain? I have eyes, I can see!” Shizuo immediately threw back at him. “Your only purpose in life is to bring me trouble and mix me up in all kinds of messes, that’s it isn’t it? You bastard, I’m going to break all of your bones one by one!” He said, and grabbed Izaya from the collar of his robes, so violently that he almost lifted him up, bringing him close to his face.

Kida could not understand a single word of what they were saying, but it wasn’t difficult to miss. The blond man was becoming more enraged by the second and his voice was being dangerously raised up. 

With the way they were standing, Izaya had his back turned at him so Kida couldn’t see his face. He could only hear his voice, which was only a tad shaken up, considering the situation they were in right then. “You can do whatever you want with me, just don’t give him to them!” Izaya repeated his plead. “Please, Shizu-chan, just be quiet, until everything calms down, let him leave-“ 

Shizuo gritted his teeth and threw Izaya away with such force, he fell on the fabric of the tent’s wall and the bounced right back, crashing face down in the ground, barely managing to bring his hands forward to protect his face. “Fuck you!” Shizuo hissed. It was a miracle how he could still hold his voice reasonably down. “Parasitic insects shouldn’t tell me what to do! You think you’re being a hero? You think you’re the good guy, and I’m the monster who isn’t setting him free? The fuck are you trying to pull? You know very well that I have things that I simply can’t do in here! And I just can’t fucking ignore him!” 

Izaya managed to make himself stand on his knees, but before he could raise his head to meet Shizuo in the eyes, Shizuo’s form was hidden by something white. Much to both of their surprise, Kida had walked and stood in between them, facing Shizuo with both of his arms wide open, in a position where he clearly declared that he wanted to protect Izaya. 

“Enough.” He said, in his own language. “I don’t know what you’re saying and you don’t know what I’m saying but I know it doesn’t matter. I’ve brought you only trouble…” He stopped for a bit. “Just don’t hurt Izaya anymore. I’ll leave.” 

“What? Kida wait!” Izaya was like someone had just lit him on fire. He tried to stand up but until he was able to, Shizuo had already crossed the distance and had now put himself between Izaya and Kida. 

It had only taken a glance at him. There was someone as lowly as Izaya, and yet, this kid, this tortured, beaten and raped kid, who could barely stand up straight and whose white clothes were showing crimson blood from inside out, was standing there, defending him only because he probably felt like he owed him something. So Shizuo ignored whatever Izaya might be saying right then, he didn’t understand it anyways, walked past the kid and instead grabbed Izaya from both hands, holding them behind his back, effectively restraining him. Izaya thrashed and almost yelled, but they knew very well that it was all futile. 

“Fine. Go.” Shizuo just said and tilted his head to show Kida that it was time to exit. It was the kid’s resolution and it honestly would spare him lots of trouble. It was already too much not giving him away the exact moment he saw him. There were still people searching for him out there but that was none of Shizuo’s concern. 

“No! No, don’t go!” Izaya desperately pleaded at their native language. “Wait, I’ll find a way… let me go!” He turned and growled at Shizuo, with eyes burning from hatred. He continued, in Shizuo’s language: “I said let me go! I can’t let him get caught by them!”

Shizuo just tightened his grip in response and it made Izaya cry out a bit. Things had already gone too far since the Shazesh incident and he was nowhere near eager to try a repeat of that, even if Izaya would now be in his place. That damn… flea. Surviving through other people’s means and then creating a mess in return. 

Kida had almost reached the end of the tent and he was only one step away from outside, when Izaya fell on his knees, giving up, and Shizuo saw something he never thought he would see. He couldn’t even remember if he had ever seen it before, when Izaya had been through so much shit, but now he saw. Tears running down Izaya’s cheeks. 

Kida stepped away and out of the tent, and Shizuo let Izaya’s hands go. He watched him numbly as he brought them forward and covered his face, curling up and slightly shaking from the sobs he was trying to suppress. Shizuo just stayed there, looking at him. It suddenly felt that Izaya was far away from him, that there were worlds between them that it was impossible to be crossed. As each sob was tearing through Shizuo’s heart, he was being reminded of the places each one of them belonged to. They had forgotten it and warmed up to each other as it had seemed. 

Shizuo was an invader and Izaya was a prisoner. 

No, maybe the only one who had forgotten that was Shizuo. 

“God fucking damn it all.” He muttered under his breath, as he grabbed a jacket and stormed out of the tent, regretting the decision the moment he made it but without even considering backing down from it. 

There weren’t any loud voices heard yet. The kid must have been still near.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally an update. Things have been pretty hectic lately and I cannot apologize enough for this delay. I can assure you though that in no way I’m going to drop this story. The updates will be more regular from now on and this story will definitely reach its proper ending when the right time comes. Please, have fun reading, and if you’re pleased with the result, I’m more than pleased already! ;)

Izaya peeked between his fingers at Shizuo’s retreating form as he exited their tent furiously. Really? That was all that it took? Some tears? Simplistic monster pretending to be human… if, of course, he was out to do what Izaya was expecting him to do. 

He quickly wiped his face with the back of his hand, as he straightened his back and steadily raised himself from the ground. He had always been very confident in his hypocritical abilities, but now he thought that he very much deserved an award. A couple of tears had indeed escaped him; of course, in reality it hasn’t been that hard. If only for the frustration he was forced to endure, it wasn’t so difficult to resort to crying, even if he had long forgotten the art of how to. He hadn’t even cried when Shinra was injured because of him when they were younger. 

That aside, he still wasn’t sure of victory. He knew very well that Shizuo’s duty and his position as a soldier did not allow him to turn a blind eye when a prisoner was about to escape. Maybe he had gone after Kida to make sure he was captured. It mattered only a little, as long as they didn’t find the trick with the knife. Apart from that, it was just that having his trick failing would leave him with a bad taste. 

Still, as unpredictable Shizuo was, there was no way Izaya could tell which option he had chosen to go with. This was one of the many reasons he hated him. The more he thought about it, the more hatred was burning at the pit of his stomach, not only towards the idiotic monster, but at himself for acting as his whore. And the latter, vice versa, was only serving to fuel his hatred about the monster even more. It particularly angered him that his body and mind seemed to disagree with his desires, instinctively finding solace and security around Shizuo, which would probably turn out to be the biggest illusion of all. 

And there was no more terrifying thing than having this illusion shattered, which was more than certain to happen at some point. For example, if they found the note in the knife, Shizuo would kill him, and for some reason, that would hurt more than just dying at the hands of every other soldier. He just didn’t feel like… losing to him. 

Izaya was also a master at avoiding self-confrontation. He always had been, and he always would be. He understood clearly that his own personality was obnoxious, he understood that there were very valid reasons for others to hate his guts, but he never questioned himself or tried to think about whether he, himself, liked his own person or not. He simply not even avoided, he just did not think about it. He just wanted to fuck things up for fun and that was what he did; he liked seeing his precious humans struggling and he didn’t care if they cursed him. Because it rarely was about him, at least directly. 

That was not the case the other day when he had kissed Shizuo and then was pushed down and fondled in return. Shizuo had been quite gentle for the monster he was, but the more his hands were roaming Izaya’s body, the more Izaya was falling into a sickening state of self-loathing; the only thing he could think about was hands beating at him, violating his skin, tearing his clothes of, exposing him and forcing him down on his knees, while everyone was watching with cold indifference or sadistic pleasure. He had returned to his first day in the camp, and he could smell the dust and the blood, he could feel his hands tied behind his back, and he could still see the woman with her neck skewered lying down in a pool of blood. And as if that wasn’t enough, he could feel Shazesh; the way he had cupped his cheek of grabbed his thigh when he had the chance, and that was just making him wanting to throw up. He hated his body, he hated his skin in the places he had forcibly been touched, and this new experience was so terrifying it almost made him incapable of moving. 

When he found his voice and asked Shizuo to stop, he hadn’t expected much. He was sure that Shizuo would keep going, and that in itself wouldn’t have been that bad, because that would be Izaya’s way to start tying Shizuo emotionally up. But it was turning out to be unbearable, and somehow it wasn’t Shizuo’s fault. The hands that were touching him were making him feel the lowest, and it wasn’t their fault but his own. In the midst of that dark pit and at the moment when he had no moves left to escape the dead end, Shizuo had stopped. 

Izaya had said no, and Shizuo had stopped. Afterwards he had treated him tenderly and gently. He had saved him, once again. He was kind to him. Izaya was receiving kindness, without even having given any, and especially from Shizuo. The Shizuo he had managed to confuse but was pretty sure he still hated his guts more than anyone else. Had they been born in the same society after the same status, they would have definitely been natural enemies. They were, even now, but Izaya hadn’t revealed all of his cards to him just yet. 

And now, more than anything, the worst thing that could happen was to shatter this illusion of kindness. Shizuo treating him truly cruelly; Shizuo handing him over to other people; Shizuo ceasing to care; the thought of any of those options was filling Izaya’s heart with unbearable terror. He wanted himself to be the one to bury his knife in Shizuo’s back, and not the opposite. 

He was in such inner turmoil, and all he could do, was just stay silent and wait out the results, as trapped as he ever had been since the day he was captured. 

Shizuo’s thoughts were far less complicated than that. He had gone out swearing insults at Izaya under his breath, as he searched for the blond kid, gripping the extra jacket tightly under his hand. “Insect. Stupid. Bastard. Asshole. Jerk. Stupid, stupid, stupid! A fucking FLEA, that’s just what you are! Bastard! Shit! I’ll have you kneel down and apologize, then I’ll kill you, then I’ll have you apologize some more! Fucking flea wasting my time and making me follow up his dirty work because he’s definitely planning some shit, I know him, he’s definitely going to set me up that god damn fucking bastard I’ll kill him I swear I will…” 

But no matter how much Shizuo was complaining, the truth was that he couldn’t see any faults at saving a tortured kid. He sincerely doubted Izaya’s good will at the case, but did it really matter? Despite of what would happen and the risk he was taking, it should be worth it. After all, he had already done the same with that woman near the river. 

Okay, it wasn’t exactly the same. But why shouldn’t he save the kid? Izaya hadn’t pleaded that much before, ever. And he hadn’t cried either. Seeing him crying was more than unsettling and it dug guilt into Shizuo’s heart, despite himself. Of course, his heart had already weakened at the sight of the blond kid, dirty and abused and bloody and still brave. No matter how he saw it, in this case fulfilling his duty as a soldier would make him more of a monster than he would have ever imagined. And it wasn’t just about himself…

He was still cursing at Izaya when he found Kida. He had his back turned at him and he was hiding behind a tent, in a final desperate attempt to fend off pursuers, but he didn’t even notice Shizuo. Shizuo inwardly sighed as he caught him from behind and slapped a hand over his mouth, preventing him from yelling and giving out their position. Kida did try to yell and struggled for some seconds at first, but then he quickly gave up, seeing that there was no hope whatsoever. 

“Shush kid, don’t talk.” Shizuo whispered next to Kida’s ear, but with the language barrier, it served no purpose other than having Kida turn his head around and see who was holding him. 

His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Shizuo, who brought a finger upon his lips to indicate that Kida had to be quiet, simply hoping that the motion would be recognized universally. That might have been it, then again maybe Kida was too shocked to react. He did nothing when Shizuo let go of him, then ruffled his hair without the slightest hesitation, no matter how dirty it was. 

“It’s okay.” Shizuo told him, looking at him in the eye. “Don’t be afraid.” He cursed himself for still postponing asking Izaya to teach him a couple of words in that language. Still, he hoped to get his point across by actions.

And he did manage it. Kida didn’t do anything, he just stared right into Shizuo’s eyes. It was the same beast with that destructive power he had witnessed so many times, the same guy that shooed him away from that tent and hurt Izaya, and even so, his eyes were holding much more warmth than Izaya’s ever did. It was funny how both had brown eyes, yet there were nothing alike. Kida hasn’t sure if Shizuo had something more or if Izaya lacked something. He was simply sure that when Shizuo passed the jacket he was holding over his shoulders and hid him in his embrace as he led him back to the tent, even though he still couldn’t shake off the tremors, he felt warm deep inside. 

When they actually stepped inside the tent and Izaya was waiting for them, Shizuo sighed. “There, I brought him back. You’re happy now, aren’t you?” He said, as he pushed Kida forward. He had aimed for a gentle push, but due to the tension it must have turned out a bit rougher, for Kida yelped and stumbled, but Izaya caught him before he could fall down. 

Holding Kida in his arms, Izaya knew he had to overcome his surprise quickly, and definitely there was no time to glare and anger Shizuo further. So he just focused on the trembling teen in his hands instead. “Are you okay?” He asked him in their language. Kida numbly nodded, holding onto Izaya even more tightly. 

Shizuo looked faintly away. “Stay here. I’m going to bring Kadota.” And with those words, he turned and went out again, leaving them both alone and Izaya dumbfounded.   
Kadota. Of course. 

“I…Izaya-san…” Kida stuttered. 

“You did well, holding out.” Izaya praised him, wrapping his arms around him and holding him tightly, having Kida’s left cheek pressed against his chest. “If only you could have done the same when you attempted to leave the camp in the first place…” He added, with each syllable colder than the previous one, as he squeezed Kida in his arms ever more tightly, every passing second, until he cried out. 

“Izaya-san! …you’re… you’re hurting me!” This embrace was not warm; it was cold, freezing and painful. Nothing like Shizuo’s. 

“Hm? Am I?” Izaya held him like this for a couple more seconds and then he let him go. Kida stumbled backwards, bracing himself, trembling and with eyes fixed on the ground, refusing to meet Izaya’s icy gaze. Izaya wasn’t just mad at him; he was deeming him unworthy of completing his plans, plans that could be used to everyone’s advantage, but mostly his. “Well… what’s done is done. I guess it’s a good thing you came to this tent. We still have a chance. Don’t let that go to waste now. It cost me a real performance to persuade him to go after you.” 

“He didn’t save me for you!” Kida hissed back at him and finally looked up defiantly, only to meet the same icy gaze he was expecting to. “If I’ve learned one thing in here, it’s that people think nothing of their whores!” 

It was the first time he ever saw real emotion in Izaya’s eyes. Izaya straightly glared at him, with eyes now suddenly burning. Kida was sure that he would hit him. He almost raised his hands to protect his face, but when Izaya moved he actually chose to turn his back at him. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter now.” He said. “He’ll come and bring some people with him. They’ll probably arrange everything so that you can escape. I think it’s pointless to ask now, but do you still have the knife?” 

“Of course I do.” Kida loosened up a bit. “It might be your rotten plan, but it holds potential for everyone, so…”

“Opportunists, aren’t we?” Izaya chuckled. “Hey, Kida-kun, let me ask you a question. Just out of pure curiosity. Your answer won’t affect how things stand at all.” He slightly turned his head to glance at Kida. “Let’s say, our plan works. Let’s say, this camp get defeated.” He said, then turned to face Kida fully once again. “If you could, would you come and save me?” 

Kida just stared at him, silently. 

When Izaya decided this was the answer he was going to get, he sighed. “So cruel, Kida-kun. Even though I went to such lengths to save you? You even proposed that we run away together just some hours ago.”

“You don’t need saving.” 

“Heh, I do not, you say? You truly are a cruel person. Well, maybe it’s hard for someone to see it, beneath the pretty baby face.” Izaya theatrically shrugged. “Not that I should have expected something different from the leader of the Yellow Scarves. How is your gang doing? Are they all fucked or dead yet?” 

Kida gritted his teeth. “I mean it. I didn’t talk out of spite.” Now Izaya was looking at him seriously again. “I bet you want to be here, that’s why you still are. I bet it’s comfy. You eat, and drink, and sleep without having to worry about anything. You have no bruises on you, no matter how angry he gets or how much power he has, neither you have trouble walking. I noticed just before.” He slightly swallowed before he continued. “If that’s how things stand, I wouldn’t mind being his whore either. It’s no wonder you don’t mind as well.” 

That comment actually left Izaya stunned for some moments. When he’d think back at it, it was probably for the best, because it gave time for Shizuo to walk in with Kadota and it prevented him from murdering Kida on the spot. His mind had shut down at such lengths that he almost missed what the other two had started saying. 

“Sorry, Kadota, for bringing you into this mess.” Shizuo apologized humbly. “I can depend on you, right?”

“Don’t even mention it!” Kadota had a face of someone that was announced a surprise birthday party. “You know that this is what we always try to do. Though this is the first time we’re actually going to sneak a person outside, but it shouldn’t be that hard. Hey, kid!” He motioned towards Kida, who instinctively cringed and tried to hide behind Izaya, but without of course daring to look him in the eye. 

Shizuo stepped up. “Izaya, what’s his name?”

Izaya managed to maintain a neutral face, ignoring the uncomfortable bite in his chest. “Kida. Kida Masaomi.” 

“So, Kida.” He said, as he looked at him. “And how do you say ‘it’s okay’?”

“Daijobu desu.” 

Shizuo confidently nodded. “I see.” He then stepped forwards and leaned towards Kida, who was hiding behind Izaya, just like he was trying to earn the trust of a frightened   
animal. “Kida.” He said. “Datzobu des.” 

Just when Izaya was about to make a stingy comment, Kida actually started to shift. Hesitantly, he stepped away from where he was hiding, to approach Shizuo more.   
“All right!” Shizuo rejoiced. He then turned at Izaya again: “And how do you say ‘we won’t hurt you’ and ‘his name is Kadota he’s a good guy’?”

“Look, I can just do the translation.”

“Don’t be stupid, it will have no point then!” Shizuo protested.

“You’re right; actually, your accent is so horrid that I wouldn’t be able to handle hearing you utter more than two words.” Izaya’s tone was disarmingly deadpan.

Shizuo’s cheeks were painted red. “Well that’s not what fucking matters right now, is it you bastard?”

“Guys…” Kadota would probably soon get an award for handling most of their uncomfortable fights. “Whatever you have to say just say it quickly, the more time that passes, the more difficult it would be to get him out of here.” He sighed as Shizuo fumed. “Look, Izaya, just tell him that it’s okay to trust me and that my friends and I will get him out. Come   
on, we need to hurry.”

Izaya did as Kadota instructed him and Shizuo was essentially left pouting at that. Well, it was wrong of him to ask Izaya of anything in the first place, wasn’t it? It definitely was.   
Those were his thoughts as Kida weighed Kadota with his eyes, decided he was a good guy, bowed to thank him, and then, much to everyone’s shock and surprise, he turned and fell into Shizuo’s arms, hugging him tightly. 

“…Eh?” Shizuo voiced Izaya’s inner thought at the scene, while Kadota just gave a small, understanding smile. 

“Arigatou.” Kida’s muffled voice came out. “Shizu-chan.”

It was the first time Shizuo was smiling with a vein popping on his forehead. “Yeah, no, it’s ShizuO.” He corrected him, but then the vein subsided and there was only the slight smile left. “I see.” He just said then, and wrapped one arm over Kida’s shoulders in return. Even he could understand that Kida was thanking him right then. He felt the need to apologize to him for many things, but there were other, more important things waiting to be done. 

When Kida exited the tent following Kadota, and without ever taking off the jacket Shizuo had given him, he shot a final glance at Izaya. He had his usual poker faced smirk on, as he waved at him goodbye. Out of personal experience, that was Izaya’s most dangerous look. It just promised that he would be waiting around the corner to fuck you up real bad one day. 

Whatever. It had been worth it. 

When they got out of sight, Shizuo sighed. “Okay, now it’s all good, isn’t it?” He turned at Izaya, only to come face to face with an angelic smile and the cold blade of a knife shining dangerously in front of his neck. “Huh? What the fuck is your fucking problem NOW?” 

“Me? Problem? There is no problem.” Izaya replied in a sickeningly sweet voice, without making the slightest motion to take the knife away from target. Shizuo noticed, inside his anger and irritation, that the little bastard had snatched a flick blade from somewhere. 

“Really. Then what is this blade doing so close to my neck, huh? Iiiizaaaayaaaa?” 

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because it loves your neck so much, that it wants to go deep inside.” Izaya answered giving particular emphasis to the last two words, making them sound out in a deep, sensual voice, as his eyes glimmered. 

“Okay, enough.” Shizuo had had enough too many times already. “Just spit it the fuck out. I did as you wished this time, didn’t I? I saved him!” 

“Yes, it was so heart throbbing.” Izaya’s voice was dripping with bitter sarcasm. “Especially when you wanted to talk in our language to comfort him. If anybody had seen that scene it would have been impossible for him to believe that you had thrown him out just moments ago.”

Shizuo gritted his teeth and looked away, annoyed. “Shut up. I saved him, didn’t I?” Then he thought it better. “Are you angry because I made you cry?”

Izaya chuckled. “Is Shizu-chan having regrets for hurting my feelings? Well, that’s a new one for sure.”

“No, that’s not it.” Shizuo frowned, genuinely confused. “I don’t get it.”

“Well, now that’s not a surprise.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Shizuo snapped at him. “I mean… I don’t understand why you cried. You didn’t care about him. So… why did you cry?” 

It was at times like these that Shizuo would leave Izaya simply gaping. He didn’t have more than average intellect but he had the special charisma to understand, to read between the lines. He could see things that others couldn’t yet for him it was so natural. 

“Don’t go assuming things about my feelings, Shizu-chan.” Izaya just said, as he pulled the flick blade away. “You know none of it.” 

“…I can’t really say I do. You’re the only one who knows that.” Shizuo said, scratching his head. 

“Heh, there you go, saying something deep again.” 

“That’s your specialization, not mine!” Shizuo protested, but got cut shortly after Izaya came and stood in front of him, placing softly a finger on his lips.

“Say, Shizu-chan…” Izaya started, uncharacteristically nicely. “If you had to choose between Kida and me, to stay with you, who would you choose?” 

“What? …Don’t tell me you were god damn fucking jealous of him…?” Shizuo asked incredulously. 

“Don’t overestimate yourself, you moron.” Izaya’s full of detest face was indicating clearly how much out of the question that was. “Just answer me.”

“The one who calls someone a moron is a moron and who would ever be worse than you!” 

“Hm, I see.” Izaya lowered his hand and turned his back at a Shizuo who was still fuming at the previous insult. “Don’t worry, Shizu-chan, you will get rid of me one day!”

“Yeah, I look forward to it!” Shizuo spat back, and turned his back at Izaya also, folding his arms across his chest, in a textbook example of sulking. “…I’ll still see you from time to time though, right?”

Izaya let out a small laugh. “I doubt it. That would be very difficult, considering where I’ll be.” 

“Eh? What do you mean now?”

“I don’t know if you have a different word for that, but according to what I’ve learned, what you people are doing in this world is called genocide. You’re killing without an ounce of mercy all of the people of my race. Sure, you have many that resemble my race in your world too, but people like me, with the language, the dressing, and generally of my culture, will turn out to be extremely rare. And I don’t know how you call it in your world either, but in mine, extremely rare means extremely expensive.”

Shizuo had a very bad feeling for what Izaya was saying but he found himself incapable of stopping him from going on and on.

Which of course he did. “So, Shizu-chan, when this world crumbles down, thing that with the current rate of progression will take about a couple of years, and when I won’t be even remotely needed, high chances are that I will be sold to the highest bidder. In other words, to the richest person that will make an offer.” He turned and looked at Shizuo, who was now also facing him. “And I don’t know about your world, but in my world, rich people have some very sick tastes.”

“You’re talking bullshit.” Shizuo finally replied. “You sure talk like you make sense and you sure can persuade people, but nobody knows what will happen in two years from now! Heck, a meteorite can fall and kill us all, how could you possibly know all that?”

“I talk about a future with the highest chances of happening.” Izaya retorted. “Predicting the worst possible scenario and taking measures against it is the trait of the smart. How do you call it? ‘Luck favors the prepared’.” 

“You can’t know what will happen in two years from now!”

“Wrong, Shizu-chan. You can tell, more or less. Do you want me to analyze it for you?”

“No, I want you to shut the fuck up.”

“I’ll analyze it then. Starting from the invasion, you-“

Izaya did shut up when Shizuo caught him and buried him inside his arms, holding him close tightly. “Just shut up. I won’t let you get taken away. Isn’t that what you want to hear?”

“Stupid Shizu-chan.” Izaya softly smiled, as he returned the hug, wrapping his arms around Shizuo’s back. “It doesn’t matter what you’re willing or not willing to do…” 

They stayed like this for a long time though.


	17. Chapter 17

A week had passed since Kida had escaped, and Izaya was more than displeased to find out just how badly that affair had messed with his mind. Even after so many days, he was having recurring nightmares of Shizuo going somewhere with Kida, while mocking him and leaving him in the mercy of countless pairs of violating hands. The last time, it wasn’t even Kida; it was just a kid without a face. It could be anyone, really.

Izaya was waking up abruptly covered in cold sweat and consequently, an irritated Shizuo was waking up as well. It was even more humiliating the fact that, even though Shizuo was angered at first, seeing Izaya trembling and scared out of his wits immediately softened him up. He’d take Izaya in his arms and murmur soothing words, and Izaya would instinctively latch onto him, while the wheels of his mind were running so fast it felt like they’d burn up. How much he hated this, how much he needed this, how much he longed and at the same time dreaded for it to disappear. He always felt this but at those times it just hit him much harder than usual. 

It was mysterious. Because what this incident had brought forward the most, was not the jealousy or the contempt. Izaya would willingly admit being jealous and possessive about many things, including Shizuo and whatever he felt for him, even if that feeling was hatred. It was the realization that someday Shizuo might choose someone else, and if that happened at the wrong timing, it would leave Izaya alone and defenseless. Shizuo wouldn’t tolerate him forever anyways. In fact, it was a miracle he had tolerated him until now. Like hell would Izaya buy any sugar-coated words coming from his mouth. At first he might have thought that he was doing something like community service, but that pretty much had certainly ended when Izaya had fully revealed his twisted personality. 

But there was more than that. Izaya had no problems at being alone, in fact, he had always preferred so, and he had the adequate trust in himself to build his defenses as they suited him. But now he had stumbled. Up until that time, he was perfectly fine with what had happened to him; it could have been so much worse that he didn’t even have the right to complain. But now suddenly, his mind insisted stubbornly on replaying every single scene from every time he had been sexually harassed. It was unpleasant, to say the least. More than that, it was illogical. Why now? The human psyche is full of wonders, but he was an exception, wasn’t he? He didn’t act or think like them. An abnormality… 

Whatever it might have been, it was annoying and it hindered his plan. He should probably be able to make Shizuo keep him around a little longer if he managed to successfully seduce him. Of course, sexual intercourse was not enough. There should be enough emotional attachment to this, otherwise he would be giving everything for nothing. But just when he had started seeing a hope around this, after all Shizuo himself was a monster starved for the slightest amount of human contact, his mind’s defensive mechanisms had arbitrarily decided to work at full speed. So he just clamped down. Shizuo had casually tried to kiss him many times during that week but Izaya had instinctively pulled away. And after the time when he even used his hand to cover Shizuo’s mouth and prevent him from coming closer, Shizuo had stopped trying. 

The tent was suffocating him from the start, but on the other hand, if he walked out, no matter how much he’d walk among them, no matter how perfectly he’d speak their language, no matter the low profile he would try to keep, he would always stick out like a sore thumb in their crowd. He had thought many times that his life would be a whole lot easier if he just faked kindness around Shizuo, but that was the one thing he just couldn’t bring himself to do. Just this one. It would have been pointless anyway. Shizuo could see through him with a mere glance. 

When his thoughts reached such a point, staying inside the tent was nearly impossible. After all, Shizuo was now only coming back at nights, for he was working next to Tom’s side. So Izaya would rather choose to hang around Kadota, and that was exactly what he did that evening. 

He found him alone, tending to some horses. That was quite unusual. Since Kida escaped he had only met him once, when he passed by to assure Shizuo and him that the kid had escaped safely. He sneaked behind him until he was within an arm’s reach.

“Dota-chin, fouuuund-“

“I’ve seen you coming since twelve feet by now.”

“Heh… perceptive as always.” Izaya commented, while skipping to the side. 

“What happened? Is anything the matter?” Kadota said, as he ceased what he was doing and turned to look at him.

“Unfortunately, there is no poor tormented teenage soul for you to save today. Isn’t it a pity?” 

Kadota actually smiled a bit melancholically, as he turned his eyes to the ground. “It is. But I hope an opportunity like that comes again soon.” 

“Yes, I noticed that you were quite happy when Shizu-chan brought you along.” Izaya underlined. “We were all so stressed and anxious and you were like you were celebrating the advent of your God.” 

“…I see. I looked inappropriate. That might be true, but…” Kadota took off the beret he was wearing, and scratched his head. “I was really happy that you guys called out to me for such a reason that night.” 

Izaya observed him keenly a bit more before he started talking again. “Speaking of which, Dota-chin, why are you here? I can pretty much guess why Shizu-chan is here… and why everyone else is here… But how come you and your buddies are? What crime did you commit? Did you go butterfly – hunting against the law?” 

“Do we really seem such law-abiding people to you?” Kadota turned at him with a smirk. “But what we just did the other day didn’t seem so lawful towards the rules of our camp, did it?” 

“I see.” Izaya responded at the same, cunning tone. “So Dota-chin is the prince charming riding the white horse and coming to the rescue of any damsel in distress, no matter the danger or the authorities?”

“The way you put it is a bit…” Kadota sighed. “We’re only protecting our neighborhood. We don’t really care about rules or anything like that if it means that some things can be protected.”

“So, how come you’re here now?” Izaya just kept going on. 

“Got into a fight with a gang over who controls a part of our city… more than once.” 

Izaya just stared at him for some seconds before he burst out in laughter. “Seriously? Are you kidding me? What are you, the alpha males fighting over ‘who controls the pack’?”

Kadota frowned, reminiscing that his opponent at that time, Chikage Rokujo, was probably partying with fifteen different girlfriends and wreaking havoc in their city as they spoke… well, at least he was likeable and not a bad person to have in charge there. “Say anything you want but we don’t regret…”

“I’m sure Dota-chin has done nothing wrong.” Izaya reassured him. “You’re too morally uptight for this.” He shrugged. “Moral… but not lawful, right?”

“Shizuo is much more lawful than we are.” Kadota commented, and Izaya stiffened immediately, while his smile fell.

“Let’s not talk about Shizu-chan okay. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”

“No, I have to say this.” Kadota insisted. “Shizuo might be here for the same reasons we all are, but so far he always followed the rules and genuinely tried not to create trouble for anyone. It’s true that most of the times his temper gets the better of him, but-“

“Isn’t it that just because he’s attached to the Commander.” Izaya cut him off. “So he naively thinks that he doesn’t want to create trouble for him, and thus he obeys him.”

“He does like Commander Tom but that’s not the only reason. Shizuo believes that by fighting here, he’s doing the right thing. He’s protecting his country. And I also don’t think that this belief is false.”

Izaya raised his eyebrow. “Excuse me? You might want to analyze that, otherwise it just sounds to me that you barged into an unknown person’s house declaring noble purposes and then outright killed them… which is pretty much what you’re doing.”

“You don’t have wars here?” Kadota began by asking. “That’s not possible, you have weapons.”

“Well, we have a different legal system. And yes, we do have wars from time to time, but it was peaceful until you appeared.” The wars were usually committed between different prefectures over absolute control, and most of the times, the biggest slaughters were happening upon the succession of the emperor. In a lonely and united nation though, the real rulers were in the parastates that kept popping around, and the existence of an emperor had become purely symbolic and otherwise useless. The Awakusu one was one of the strongest syndicates that were moving things around. It had always been fun for Izaya to work with them and mess with them. After all, that was the environment in which his profession was truly blooming. He might have mocked Kadota before, but the concept of the gangs was nothing new to him, and he was very interested to know how they were working in Kadota’s society. He wondered if Kida would manage to get his message across…

“Well, then you must be aware that war is nothing but a means to negotiation.” Kadota said. “We don’t have something, so we steal it from others. Right now, our country is in a bad shape. We don’t have enough money, the people cannot work and our defenses are low. We need resources. If we don’t steal what we need from others, someone else will come to steal whatever is left from us. So, we just hurt you before somebody else can hurt us.” Kadota lowered his eyes. “I know that those might seem like childish explanations, but this is what essentially it’s coming down to.”

“Ah, it’s not like I blame you about anything.” Izaya offered, having reassured many of his suspicions and deducing that they must have kept the fact that they discovered new ‘resources’, a secret from their possible enemies. Maybe a message outside would be more useful than a message inside… “Anyone can deduce something like this, even without being told. It’s just that…” He looked up at the sky. “It just seems a bit unfair, you know?” 

“You might not believe me, but I’m sorry for what has happened to you.”

Izaya chuckled. “Why? Personally, nothing has happened so far.” 

“What I meant to say before was…” Kadota hesitated, but decided to go out with it. “Shizuo truly believes that he helps his country by being here and unlike us, he was always abiding by the rules, no matter how harsh, in order not to create any troubles. He’s also longer in here than we are and he’s gotten pretty much used to awful stuff but…”

“…but?” Izaya urged him. 

“Last week was the first time for as long as I know that he ever broke a rule. And probably, you are the reason.”

“…I don’t think so.”

“It’s not like he doesn’t want to help people.” Kadota ignored Izaya’s interruption and kept going. “It’s just that here is an army and that’s not how things work. We do save people from time to time, and he knows, he has seen us, but he has never told on us or betrayed us. He even agrees with us, but he keeps going by the rules, because that was what he’s resolved in doing. Even I don’t know which way would be the most honest or correct one but I’ll just keep doing what my conscience tells me to do. Everyone makes their own choices.” Kadota looked at Izaya straight in the eyes. “So I was glad. That you came to me and believed in my choice for the first time.”

“Shizu-chan didn’t do it for me.” Izaya looked away and smiled bitterly, while folding his arms across his chest. Kida’s words, ‘people think nothing of their whores’, were still resounding in his mind despite himself. “Maybe he did it because of me, but he didn’t do it for me.” 

“Whatever the reason might have been. You made Shizuo break a rule.” Kadota smiled at him. “Isn’t that a good reason to rejoice?” He said and ever slightly gave Izaya’s arm a light punch, in a friendly and perhaps consoling way. 

And Izaya, for the first time since long, cracked up a barely noticeable, genuine smile. 

On the other side of the camp, Shizuo was sitting unusually quiet next to Tom as he was working through some documents. Tom generally liked small talk but he decided not to comment on it, after all he could complete his work much quicker and easier. When he reached through the papers that had been sent to them from another camp though, he realized he’d need to break the comfortable silence. 

“Hey, Shizuo.” He called at him, and Shizuo slightly jumped in his seat. “I have some papers with their weird paintings, letters or whatever. Can you go get Izaya, I need a translation.” 

“Eh? Izaya?” Shizuo repeated, like he was hearing the name for the first time. “Uh… sure…” He finally nodded, and then got up, still looking a bit spaced out. 

As he walked through the exit of Tom’s tent, his Commander sighed. “Okay, wait a bit. Come back here.”

Shizuo nodded and did as told, coming to stand in front of Tom’s desk. 

“Is there anything you need to tell me?”

“No…” Shizuo hesitated a bit. “Yes, maybe I’d like to ask something.” 

“Something? What is it?”

Shizuo kept fidgeting a bit, but in the end he just decided to go out and say it. “When… this is over… what’s going to happen to Izaya?”

Tom shrugged. “Probably he’ll be getting a large sum of money and a royal pardon from the higher ups to do as he pleases, in order to repay his assistance. Why?”

“That’s it?” Shizuo’s eyes widened in surprise. “He won’t be getting killed or sold or anything like that?” 

“I can’t know for sure if they’ll decide to dispose of him or not, but I can’t think of any serious reason to do so. As for the other one, when this is over he’ll probably be around thirty so it’s not very possible.” Tom answered, matter-of-factly. 

“Oh, I see.” Shizuo said and suddenly, his whole body relaxed, letting all of the accumulated tension evaporate. “I see, okay then.” He finally said and turned to leave, in order to do as Tom had instructed him. Something in the back of his mind was screaming that it would be a wrong move to let Izaya translate anything they would depend on, but he preferred to keep silent. After all, that was the reason they were keeping him in the first place, wasn’t it?

“Shizuo.” He heard Tom calling at him again. 

“Yes?”

“Are you…” Tom started saying, but he regretted it in mid sentence. “No, never mind. Just…”

“…just what?” 

“Just try not to get too attached to him. Whatever you might be doing with him.” Tom finally concluded. “I don’t have any right to say anything about your personal or love life, but   
you know that as far as things stand, I can’t give you any sort of guarantees.” 

“Love life?” Shizuo almost choked. “Love life with that flea? That can’t happen!” 

“I said, whatever you might be doing…”

“I’d rather rot in the pits of fucking hell than even thinking about fucking him, ever!” Shizuo cut Tom short, having momentarily erased from his memory every time they had almost done it with Izaya. 

“Really, I don’t care about that.” Tom explained. “It’s just that you seem worried over him.”

That, Shizuo had nothing to retort with. “Commander…” He didn’t know what urged him to say that at the particular point. “I don’t trust him.” He took a deep breath. “I think it’s a really bad idea to show him any of these.” He said, as he motioned towards the documents.

“Hey, now you’re hanging him out to dry!” Tom exclaimed. “Well, you’ve said similar things many times before, but…”

“I’m the one who knows him best, am I not?” Shizuo insisted. “I just feel like we have yet to see what he is capable of doing, and I…” For a reason, Shazesh popped up in his mind. 

“In that case, we’ll have to kill him.” Tom reminded him, and Shizuo’s heart sank. “Are you ready to go there?”

“Can’t we just…” Shizuo bit his lower lip, without even realizing it. “…can’t we just let him be?”

“You know I’d like to answer yes, but…” Tom shook his head negatively. “Anyway, for the time being: I’ll insist that his interests lie with us and that he’s aware of it. Unless you ever come across any kind of evidence, I cannot do anything. Right now it’s just your gut speaking, isn’t it?” 

“That makes sense.” Shizuo agreed, as he scratched his head. He knew that Izaya wasn’t like the other people, so he couldn’t be sure about where his interests truly lied, but he had no proof in his hands other than that nagging little voice in the back of his mind, that seemed to reject everything Izaya expressed or stood for. Maybe it would have been better for everyone if he just stood far away and stopped messing in anything concerning Shizuo’s party. 

And he thought, as he exited Tom’s tent, that maybe, just maybe, things would be different if he could deal with Izaya on equal terms. Then it would be simpler, more honest. Even though it could come down to just chasing each other around and fighting until one of them broke his neck. At least then, he would know what he would be supposed to feel. He wouldn’t be as torn and confused as now. 

When he didn’t find him in the tent, he instinctively walked towards any possible place he could find Kadota. And in the end he did found them together at the east end of the camp, chatting, as Kadota was taking care of some horses. His stomach clenched despite himself. 

“Iiiiizaaaaayaaaa…” He started growling, as usually. 

“Speak of the devil.” Izaya commented. “What do you want, Shizu-chan, I was actually having fun here you know?” 

Shizuo gritted his teeth, but managed to be more professional this time. “The Commander is calling for you; he says that you have some papers to translate.”

“You’re kidding!” Izaya momentarily seemed truly bewildered, but then he cracked up his usual kind of smile. “So it is, Dota-chin, it seems that unlike most of the time, I suddenly have work to do!” His face actually beamed enthusiasm. “I’ll see you again soon!” 

Suddenly, Shizuo realized what he was feeling so irritated about. Out of everyone in this camp, and Shizuo knew that Izaya knew and had talked with every soul, he only called Shizuo and Kadota with weird, almost affectionate nicknames. Why was that? Was he doing with Kadota whatever he had tried to do with him? It was plausible. If he was just trying to secure his position, it was plausible. It was even logical. But Kadota would have told him, wouldn’t he? Well, he couldn’t be sure in anything Izaya had to do with…

He just nodded to Kadota to acknowledge that he was there. Kadota raised his hand in response and without any more words, they both left, with Izaya actually leading the way, walking right in front of Shizuo. 

They had walked over half of the distance in silence, when Izaya decided he had kept it shut long enough. “Shizu-chan is uncharacteristically quiet today.”

“Shut up and keep walking.”

“Is that so?” Izaya looked over his shoulder back at Shizuo as he kept walking. “You refuse to even talk to me if I don’t kiss you?” 

“Are you doing it with Kadota?” 

Izaya stopped walking. Shizuo stopped as well. They looked at each other for some moments, with Shizuo’s eyes remaining deadly serious to Izaya’s condescending ones. “No, I don’t.” He firmly answered and he turned around, resuming walking. 

“Are you doing it with anybody else?” Came the persistent, grumpy answer. 

“Yes, with the Commander. In fact, I’m only going there now for that purpose.” 

Shizuo froze on his tracks and Izaya didn’t even have to turn around to know it.

“Don’t buy it, you moron.” 

When Shizuo’s mind started working again, he was able to produce speech. “I-It’s because you said it so fucking seriously that I…!” He stuttered, as he rushed to catch up to Izaya who had gotten far ahead in the short time he was left petrified. 

“Look, Iet’s just say this once.” Izaya had gotten pretty much grown tired of it already. “How do two men do it?”

“Through the asshole.” Shizuo said and pointed at Izaya. 

“Are you trying to make a pun here, you bastard? You seriously tried this lame pun?” Now it was Izaya’s turn to get his eye twitching in irritation. 

“If it got on your nerves, it was more than worth it.” Shizuo offered him his usual sadistic smile. 

Izaya considered himself to be above bitching about such a stupid provocation. “Anyway, you’re right, through the asshole.” 

“And the mouth, I guess…” Shizuo added. 

“And the mouth.” Izaya confirmed. “So, have you even seen me having trouble walking?”

“…No…”

“Have you ever seen my lips swollen?”

“…No…”

“Will you ever ask again this stupid question?”

“HEY!” Shizuo barked. “It wasn’t stupid! I just…” 

Their legs had already guided them near Tom’s tent and it was apparent that the conversation needed to end. Izaya was actually thankful for it, they hadn’t had such an uncomfortably raw dialogue since a long time. 

“So, Shizu-chan, I’ll see you lat-“ He raised his hand to take leave, but Shizuo caught it, and that stopped him. He fully turned around this time, mildly annoyed, to come face to face with Shizuo’s full of anguish one. 

“I do not…” Shizuo started saying, but then he shook his head, regretting what he had meant to say. “You piss me off. You pissed me off since the first day you arrived here. I disliked your style and the way you’re doing things since the moment I laid eyes on you. I’m pretty sure you’re hiding something behind the shadows but I can’t prove what it is. Being near you has given me no peace whatsoever, it has only brought trouble and much grief… ”

“…Hey, is this a love confession in reverse?” Izaya awkwardly chuckled, trying to make light of the situation. He wasn’t sure if he’d like what would come of it. 

“I mean what I’m saying!” Shizuo defended. 

“I know that, you almost always do…” Maybe it was the time Shizuo would state that he had enough. It was only natural. Izaya hadn’t even been able to open his legs for him, to offer him the least bit of fun that he could possibly offer. He cursed himself. Why had it been so fucking difficult? It shouldn’t have!

“No, the thing I want to say is…”

You’re giving me up, Izaya concluded, as he smiled bitterly and looked down on the ground. Even if Shizu-chan had said just the day before, that he wouldn’t let him get taken away… Even Shizu-chan was a liar, then. Unexpected as always. 

“The thing I want to say is…” Shizuo gritted his teeth, and his eyes darted in the ground. “Even if you are all of these… and even if I hate it, I…” He halted only for a second. “I’m having fun with you.”

Izaya’s eyes widened. He slowly looked up at Shizuo. “…Fun?” He finally uttered. “…Fun? …With me?” 

“I mean, I hate it, and it frustrates me, but… chasing after you is fun. Arguing is fun. Teasing is fun. Sometimes it’s painful, and I’d prefer we wouldn’t, but in the end of the day, I guess it’s fun!” 

“It’s… fun…” Izaya just numbly repeated. 

There were a million things he wanted to say at that moment, but he said none of it. After all, he wasn’t able to handle anything about it at that moment. So he just did on impulse the weirdest thing he would ever do; he grabbed the hand Shizuo had used to grab his, squeezed it for a moment with both of his hands, and kissed it on top of the knuckles. 

Then he just stormed away, leaving Shizuo behind to stare at his own hand. And he didn’t snap out of it until the sun had started setting.


	18. Chapter 18

Izaya walked into Tom’s tent flustered, his usual sarcastic and playful demeanor now gone. It was very easy for Tom to notice that, as soon as he lifted his eyes up from the paperwork in front of him. Even though he wasn’t Shizuo. 

“Is something the matter?” He inquired the black haired man, who was breathing a bit too quick, and his cheeks were tainted a bit redder than usual. Also he seemed not to know where he could put his hands, so he made some jerky movements before he decided to fold them across his chest.

Taking a couple more breaths, he quieted down. “Nope! Everything is perfectly fine, Commander!” He chirped, regaining his old self. 

“…Fine, then.” Tom honestly didn’t care more about other people’s personal business, or a problematic couple like this one. Because if something bothered Izaya, it had to do with Shizuo. “I called you here because I have work for you.”

“Finally. I’m so grateful.” Izaya offered his best smirk. “You know, I think I could get used to being pampered like a princess by Shizu-chan and all of you, but it gets boring after a while… It doesn’t even have the spice of the first days now. Wouldn’t it be nice if I made myself useful?”

Tom glared at him. He didn’t do that often to anyone. Of course, one could say that it was because he usually had Shizuo to do that job for him. 

“Aah, don’t get angry!” Izaya exclaimed, purely comfortable now that the ball was again in his court. “I’m just trying to make a joke… lighten the atmosphere…”

“Then you really have a twisted sense of humor.” Tom sighed, as he handed Izaya a bunch of papers over his desk. It was common knowledge that Izaya’s jokes were weighing the atmosphere so much it took days to lift the clouds off of people’s eyes. “You don’t know how to write, do you?”

“I have tried…” Izaya replied but he was suddenly silenced when his eyes fell on what was written on the papers before his eyes. He ignored Tom and he starting reading them intensely, one after the other. 

Tom waited patiently for him to finish. When he saw Izaya reaching the final page, he asked: “Well? What do they say?”

“What is this?” Izaya asked but it was more like asking himself. He lifted his eyes up and met Tom’s gaze, and his tone was serious and professional. “It says here that they are expecting help through gold and weaponry from their ‘outside’ allies. Then it describes when and where they’re going to get it. It’s in about a month in various places…”

Tom remained silent for some moments. “So it has finally come to this.” He said in the end. “Well…” He leaned back at the back of his chair. “It was expected, albeit a bit soon, but what can we do.”

“What does it mean, ‘outside allies’?” Izaya narrowed his eyes. He had decided that he wouldn’t leave from that place until he got some answers. 

“It means that they have finally caught up on us.” Tom explained, as he was getting up. “How much do you know about the outside world?”

“It’s round and has many countries like Sekai… is that what you want to hear?”

“Yes, that’s it.” Tom nodded. “You might have guessed, but not all countries peaceful or friendly towards each other.”

“So, you have enemies.” Izaya concluded, and remembered his previous conversation with Kadota. “Are you fighting another war elsewhere or will you?”

“We’ve been fighting an economic war for a long time now.” It was Tom’s turn to pick a cigarette out of his pocket, and then a lighter. “I don’t know if we’ll fight a more pragmatic bloody war in the future, but we’re fighting this one here with you, so that we won’t have to fight one with them sometime near.” 

“What do you mean ‘an economic war’?”

Tom lit his cigarette. “Do you know what a ‘bank’ is?”

Izaya rolled his eyes. “We have banks here too. Of course I know what it means.”

“Then you know that it’s a really bad thing when a bank goes out of business. The people lose their money, the country goes poor and the state can’t preserve a single thing.”

“I can try to imagine it.” Izaya said. “Though not on such a scale; I can’t quite understand what you’re saying. Money is of no little importance, and yes the people who had their money in it will lose it but other than that…”

“You’ve lived your whole life inside a single, feudal, united nation. In addition, one without the technological advancements the rest of the world has.” Izaya would disagree about the ‘united’ part, but he let Tom continue. “It’s completely natural why you won’t know the meaning of an ‘economic collapse’, or the supreme role of the banking system.” He let out some smoke. “What do you do when you owe someone money? Someone important.”

Shiki came to Izaya’s mind. “The important person will come and get it back.” He smirked. “Whatever he will have to do to you.”

“Well, it’s mostly the same thing.” Tom nodded. “In the system we’re living into, the economies are being ruled by the banks. Furthermore, to avoid physical wars like this one, the nations are making alliances with each other. When a state doesn’t have enough money, it borrows from another state, usually from an ally. But at the same time you stop being on equal terms, so you’re technically no longer allies. You have successfully become a pawn. You’re in your ally’s debt, and thus you can’t deny him anything he asks of you, because if you do, the money will stop coming and you will be left with nothing. The only way to salvage yourself from this never ending cycle, is to find new resources, following another path.”

Izaya was torn. A small part of him wanted to curl his fists and curse at the way they were referring to his country as a mere source of income, but the rest of him, was absolutely, completely, inexcusably thrilled. His beloved humans were proving for another time just how amazing they really were. They had constructed systems for their convenience, those systems had failed them, yet they clung to them so desperately because they couldn’t think of anything else, or because they simply didn’t dare to think of or practice something that would risk them whatever they had left. It was a dead end system, doomed to fail from the start, but they couldn’t let it go. Now they had found Sekai, but after they’d suck it dry, the foul circle would never cease to repeat itself. Brilliant, logical, and at the same time emotional and idiotic, humans were amazing, humans were the best! 

He suppressed the shudder of excitement that run through his spine and asked: “So, what is happening now? Are your enemies coming to help my people?”

“Yes, but our allies will probably come and ask of us to stop too.” Tom put out his cigarette at the ashtray on his desk. “You see, for alliances to be made, you need to declare some pretty words, like human dignity, freedom of speech and economy… they are all but pretty words but you at least have to put on some pretenses and not provoke anyone too much.”

Izaya stayed quiet before he concluded. “You’re not the borrowers here. You are the lenders of your alliance, aren’t you?”

Tom couldn’t but admire a bit how sharp the man before him was. “You are correct. We’re the lenders, so that we won’t have to become anyone else’s borrowers. It’s kind of an irony for me, now that I think about it.” He scratched his chin. “I used to be a debt collector before I came here, you see.” 

“So, despite being the ones in actual power… you’ll stop?”

“Probably, yes.” Tom had confidence in his voice. “Not too soon, because the entry here is difficult due to the bad weather around the land, but we will stop. I had counted on more years for this… I guess it’s a relief though.” 

“My people will be saved, then?” Izaya asked again, as he remembered his sisters, Shinra and Namie. 

“I don’t know. Won’t you need money?”

Izaya and Tom looked at each other for some moments and then Izaya burst out in laughter. “I see! I see!” He exclaimed, as he was almost choking from the laughter that couldn’t stop erupting from the bottom of his soul. “You’ll lend us won’t you?”

“We will not only lend you.” Tom added. “We’ll convince your people that they need our help and bribe your leaders into accepting it. We’ll give you technological advancement your people have never seen before. You’ll live more comfortable than ever and you’ll never get hungry. And then, when it’s time to get our money back, we’ll get it out of you by tenfold, slowly but steadily. What happens to you afterwards is none of our concern.”

“Wow. It sounds pretty evil.” Izaya commented, as he sat at the end of Tom’s desk. “And what will happen to the land you’ve acquired so far?”

Tom shrugged. “We’ll definitely try to keep some, but we’ll give the most back to you. We’ll also try to excuse our invasion with a couple of stupid lies that no one will believe but it will never matter.”

Now Izaya was officially beyond thrilled. He was so caught up trying to protect his well being that he hadn’t thought about the tremendous possibilities of the ‘afterwards’. He had just assumed things would keep getting more and more inhumane. But now there was a new light to this entire situation, things that even he couldn’t have predicted, because he simply didn’t yet know how they worked. So many things he didn’t know!

“Shizuo told me once that you don’t have an emperor. He said that your people decide for a country. He called it democracy.” He had indeed done so, early at the start, but then Izaya didn’t know enough words and now, with Shazesh and Kida, he hadn’t find the right time to ask about it.

Tom sighed. “Look, I’d love to talk more about it, but as you can see, my work has piled up quite a bit.” He said, as he showed Izaya tons of more paperwork upon his desk. “You can go and talk with Shizuo if you have more questions…”

“Oh, I’m sorry, that’s fine.” Izaya replied and hopped up from the desk. “Thank you for your time, Commander, it was rather enlightening… Are you sure you don’t want what you showed me in detailed translation?”

“I do want one, but it can wait until tomorrow, I need to make a full report to my higher ups then. Oh, and tell Shizuo to come here tomorrow morning too!” Tom called out when Izaya was stepping outside. He raised his hand to show that he heard and then he was out of sight. 

Shizuo, on the other side, had been pretty busy tidying up the inside of his/their tent. He didn’t know why. He just felt like he had to clean it up and make it pretty for once. But mostly, he felt that he had to do something in order to keep his hands and his mind working, because otherwise, he’d go crazy.

Even so, he found himself stopping every ten minutes and replaying the entire scene in his head. Izaya had kissed his hand and he had meant it. Izaya had seemed happy. Why was that? He hadn’t said anything that terrific. He was mostly expecting Izaya to make fun of him, so why in the goddamn hell did he… 

“Hellooo Shizu-chan how is it going?” Izaya almost singed as he walked into the tent, making Shizuo jump up high. He laughed, as the other turned and looked at him pissed off. “Come on, did I scare you? …but seriously now, what are you doing?” 

“You can see what I’m doing can’t you? I’m cleaning up!”

“Yes, but I’m the one who usually does that…”

“Well, today I decided that I wanted to do it!”

“How thoughtful! …and capricious at the same time.”

“Shut up…” Shizuo murmured, as he continued what he was doing, scrubbing the barrel they used for bathtub. 

“But you might want to be a bit quick because I want to use that.” 

Izaya had no time for explanations as he stepped aside as soon as he finished his sentence, and the barrel flew outside the tent. Judging from the pained shout, someone suffered from its course, but who cared. 

“…now I won’t be able to use that.”

“IIIIIIZAAAYAAAA-“

“Is this fun?” 

Shizuo stopped at his tracks. “Huh?”

“Being with me.” Izaya said, looking at him straight in the eyes. “Is it fun?”

“Well…” Shizuo turned skeptical. “I guess…” He said, as he folded his arms across his chest and looked at the side. “I mean, whatever I might seem to throw at you, you never get hurt, so…”

Izaya chuckled as he casually neared Shizuo. “That’s not fun Shizu-chan that’s convenient.” He noted, as he came to stand right in front of him. “Is Shizu-chan a bit confused about me?” He said as he tilted his head to the side and started playing with Shizuo’s shirt collar, demonstrating the full extent of his charm. “Despite everything you said before…” 

Shizuo only half-glared at him, but he said nothing. He just continued looking up and down, from Izaya’s beautiful face to the fingers that were running up and down his shirt, touching his collarbone.

When Izaya realized that he wouldn’t get an answer out of Shizuo, he sighed, and lowered his hands. “It’s really mean to say such things on a whim, you know!” He said in a clearly fake tone. 

“…does it matter that much to you?”

Izaya lifted his eyes and looked up at him.

“Did it matter that much? What I said…” Shizuo locked eyes with him and urged him to answer. 

“Heh… you know me.” It was Izaya’s turn to look away now. “I guess you can imagine that someone with my kind of personality doesn’t get to hear that from others very often… and rightly so, but…” He paused for a moment, but then he turned and gave Shizuo one of his usual cattish grins. “Ah, but I guess that you didn’t mean it after all, so-“ 

“I mean every word I say to you.”

The intensity of Shizuo’s gaze and the tone of his voice made Izaya feel cornered up to an invisible wall. “Really.” He tried to confront him. “And what should I do when you contradict yourself, huh? Take the last statement as the one applying each time you change your opinion?”

“I care about you.” Shizuo said, leaving Izaya shocked and speechless. The blond man was speaking in a way the other could see the passion that boiled inside him, but with enough restrain to emphasize how serious he was. “And this will not change.”

Izaya let out a nervous smile. “You…” He said, as he looked down and took some steps behind. “You really shouldn’t.” 

“Yeah, I know.” Shizuo nodded and looked down as well. “I know that…” He admitted. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I do.” He said, looking up at Izaya again. 

The man dressed in black chuckled. “Can you tell me something then?”

Shizuo held his breath, waiting.

“What’s ‘democracy’?”

All of the tension in the air suddenly evaporated. 

“That’s… really not what I was hoping to hear at this point.” Shizuo noted, using his ultimate deadpan expression. 

“Oh, come on!” Izaya exclaimed as Shizuo turned his back, muttering curses under his breath. “You can tell me, can’t you?” He pressed further happily, as he followed on Shizuo’s tracks. “I don’t know what it’s like for the people to govern! How does that work?” He continued, as Shizuo sat down on their sheets and he sat next to him, in sheer anticipation. 

“Why do you want to know that exactly right now?” Shizuo’s left eye was twitching.

“Would Shizu-chan prefer if we kept talking about our relationship? Are you the clingy and nagging type, Shizu-chan?” 

“YOU’RE FUCKING DOING THIS ONLY TO PISS ME OFF YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Shizuo finally exploded and grabbed Izaya by the neck, slamming him down forcefully. 

It definitely hurt, but it only served to make a malevolent smirk bloom on Izaya’s face, his best expression. “A piece of shit you care about… or did that change just now as well?” 

Shizuo’s body jerked a bit in those words, but he recovered rather quickly. “Caring about you doesn’t mean that you don’t piss me off. And you’re doing it on purpose, because you’re too much of a coward, to say anything to me!” He spat out, but he violently removed his hand from Izaya’s neck, making him gasp before he focused his worst glare onto the man above him. “If you hate me, say it! What are you afraid of, that it will affect any fucking strategy you’ll want to… to do in the future? …Or that I’m going to harm you?” He said the last sentence in outmost bitterness. 

Izaya slowly rose up in a sitting position until his face was right into Shizuo’s and their noses and foreheads were almost touching. “The day I’ll be afraid of whatever you might do or say to me, will be the day the demons in hell dance over my corpse!”

There was something much more ominous in Izaya’s eyes as he slowly uttered those words, something that was promising Shizuo a trip in hell himself sooner or later. But it didn’t matter. 

He backed out. “Enough.” He said, turning his back at Izaya. He was wrong. He didn’t have the right to force Izaya to tell him anything. Why had he believed he had? Maybe because he was under the impression that Izaya had to obey everything he said. That he wasn’t his equal. And if he really believed that…

His thoughts stopped when he felt two strong arms wrapping themselves around his waist, hugging him tightly from behind. He could feel Izaya’s forehead placed on his back, and he could hear him taking deep and steady breaths in his shirt, like he was trying to calm himself down. 

Then he remembered. It was just dependency. Izaya just couldn’t live without him, not in a romantic fashion way, but in a cruelly pragmatic way. He didn’t have any choice in anything. He couldn’t answer him. 

“I want you.” Izaya whispered into Shizuo’s back, immediately filling him to the brim with warm bitterness. “I want you, Shizuo…” 

“You don’t have to do this anymore.” Shizuo cut him short. Izaya suddenly was left completely unmoving. “You don’t have to force yourself to…”

“I want you.”

“Stop it…”

“I want you.” 

“Izaya…”

“I want you!” 

Shizuo finally turned around, shocked to come face to face with Izaya’s most innocent and honest expression so far. His eyes were wide and not narrowed, looking straight at his, and his mouth was slightly open. He had removed his hands so that Shizuo could turn around, and now there were hanging limp next to each of his sides. He was right onto the brink of desperation, having the disbelieving look of someone who knew he was about to lose it all and couldn’t prevent it. “I want you, Shizuo…” 

Any qualms Shizuo might have had, flew out of the window. He grabbed Izaya and kissed him with all the passion he had, and for once again, nothing in the world mattered anymore. They had done so in the past, but now it was different; it was different because Izaya had said that he wanted it and Shizuo thought he meant it.

Shizuo deepened the kiss and Izaya thoroughly complied, letting him do as he wanted but expressing his own desire as well. Their tongues fought for dominance and though Shizuo easily won, Izaya didn’t give up on it. Soon afterwards, Shizuo stopped the deep kissing and proceeded to lick and kiss and bite all over Izaya’s neck, while his hands were frantically trying to untie Izaya’s robes.

He finally managed to loosen them up and they slid down the other man shoulders, revealing his pale flesh and lean muscles. Shizuo didn’t waste any time to attack them with bites and kisses, while Izaya was mewling and moaning in pleasure, making his already hardened dick grow even bigger. 

Logic had abandoned him probably from the time Izaya had said that he wanted him, but even if he still had just a tiny bit left, that surely disappeared when Izaya moved from their sitting positions, passed one of his perfect legs across his and straddled him, making their erections touch, and promise something even more. He had simply stopped thinking when he attacked with his mouth Izaya’s chest and then delved his hands beneath Izaya’s loosened up robes, tearing away his underwear with a single move. 

Izaya’s breath hitched and Shizuo felt it. He stopped for a bit and looked up, like he was asking for permission to continue. Izaya met his eyes for some seconds before he leaned in, kissing him just as passionately as he had been kissed, while his hand started working on most of Shizuo’s shirt buttons.

Now it was his turn to take the initiative. He unbuttoned some but he couldn’t wait to finish them all so he just gave up on half and started working on Shizuo’s belt instead, unfastening it and shoving down his pants, revealing the other’s big, hard erection. 

They were both completely lost in their touch. It felt like any other sense they possessed, had simply stopped working. Nothing would completely register in their minds anymore apart from the heat from each other bodies. They were feeling, not thinking. They had seen each other’s bodies fully long ago; what mattered was something much more. 

It was nothing but a desperate attempt to connect. They knew it in the back of their minds, both of them. So Izaya wrapped his arms around Shizuo’s neck, hugging him as tightly as he could, sticking his chest upon Shizuo’s, and trying to feel his heart.  
He whimpered as Shizuo wrapped a hand around his waist and grabbed his right thigh with the other, trying to get him into position. He buried his face deep into the nape of Shizuo’s neck, shut his eyes close and tried to brace himself for the penetration, knowing fully well how much it would hurt, and hugging Shizuo even more tightly, trying to derive courage from him. 

“HEIWAJIMA, I DON’T CARE HOW STRONG YOU ARE YOU JUST CAN’T-“ 

Saying that time froze would be an understatement. The man that had walked into their tent had a bloody bandage around his head, a pissed off face that spelled that he had mustered all of his courage to dare and confront Shizuo Heiwajima, and a large barrel in his hands. 

But in mere fragments of second, his eyes widened and his face took the color of the ashes, as he came face to face with the scene in front of him. “… th-throw… th-things…” He stuttered. “..o-outside…” 

Izaya had to gather all of his strength to persuade himself to back out and take his arms away from Shizuo, breaking their hug. He felt so frozen, that moving a single muscle seemed like a task totally outside of his abilities. He turned his head away, as he tried to pick up the fabric that had fallen down from his shoulders, to cover them slowly again. 

As for Shizuo, he was even more frozen than Izaya was. He slowly turned to look at the man that had stopped them, but he didn’t manage to say anything, because the guy threw the barrel down, shrieked “I’M SORRY!” and then he ran the hell away. 

Shizuo remained unmoving until Izaya finished tying up his robes properly again, and stood up, without looking at the blond man once. Shizuo realized that he was left exposed, so he turned around from his sitting position and tied up his pants and shirt, starting to experience sheer mortification in megatons for some reason.

The silence felt heavier by each passing second. “I’m sor-“ He tried to utter. 

“It’s not like you just now destroyed my reputation.” Izaya said. His voice had a strain, but at least it was better than Shizuo’s. “What everyone knows is that we’ve been fucking like rabbits since the first day I came here, is it not?”

Shizuo didn’t say anything. He didn’t have anything to say. He just watched as Izaya took a few steps away and almost stepped on his own underwear, whatever was left of them anyway. 

And he watched as he slowly leaned down and picked them up. “I’m going to new a new one of these…” He said. He might have his back turned against Shizuo, but Shizuo could clearly see the back of his ears growing flaming hot red. He could easily imagine how the rest of his face would be. 

“I’m glad he stopped us…” Shizuo said, and Izaya turned to look at him on the spot. The red still hadn’t left his cheeks. “I mean…!” Shizuo realized how that must have sounded. “I… I don’t mean that I didn’t want it, I wanted it, I…” He couldn’t put his words into a sentence. “I mean… if we kept going like this… you’d get hurt, I’d hurt you…” 

“It’ll hurt no matter the way, I don’t have a vagina.” Izaya said as a matter of fact and walked past Shizuo, and then he lied down on the sheets, on his left side, having his back turned at Shizuo. 

Some moments passed in pure silence until Shizuo hesitantly said: “So… you want to talk about democracy?”

“No.”

“Yeah, I thought so…” 

It was the first time that Shizuo vowed to himself to listen to Izaya next time, as he obviously knew more about everything compared to him.


	19. Chapter 19

“So… I need to know… you know… about the… you know… that… because he… and it was… and I did not… because you know… “

Kadota just stayed there and kept looking at Shizuo, marveling the levels of complexity of human thoughts, which were leading a grown twenty five year old soldier man fumble and stutter like he was five, as he was shifting his weight from one leg to another, messing his hair constantly and looking anywhere but the man to whom he was talking. Shizuo was indeed a wonder in many levels. 

Mostly at being troublesome. 

Kadota sighed and patiently waited. Whatever it might be that Shizuo had to tell him, he obviously needed first to gather the courage and the correct words. But Shizuo was by nature mostly straight forward, so any moment now, he would-

“I NEED TO KNOW HOW TWO GUYS DO IT!” 

“…AND WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ASKING ME?”

“I SHOULD HAVE TALKED ABOUT DEMOCRACY, BUT I DIDN’T!”

“AGAIN, WHY THE HELL?” 

After ten minutes of pure humiliation, Shizuo had described to Kadota everything that had transpired the day before between Izaya and himself. With a face as red as a poppy and a shaking voice, he was finally able to put sentences together and, in the end, ask for the only person that he had who was resembling a friend, some help. 

“I’m sorry, Kadota.” He concluded, bowing his head in shame. “I don’t want to burden you with my problems, that’s the last thing I want to do! But…” 

“Oh dear Lord…” Kadota didn’t know what else to say. He actually wanted to stay way out of this. Like, way far. Like, as far as it would be humanly possible. 

“There is no one else I can ask for some advice…” Shizuo depressingly admitted. Definitely not Tom, for that matter. 

“Okay, advice for what!” Kadota raised his hand, in order to stop him. “Let me tell you right now; the only advice I can give you is that this is all in all a very, very, very bad idea and you shouldn’t do it at all, ever, especially with that particular person!” Shizuo didn’t have anything to retort to that, so he just kept looking down. “If anything, he’s your prisoner!”

“Yes, but-“ Shizuo lifted his head sharply, to meet with Kadota’s piercing gaze, so he lowered it again without completing his sentence. He didn’t know what he wanted to say either way. 

“Look, I don’t want to mess with other people’s affairs.” Kadota made clear as he rubbed his temples, this had started to earn him a headache. “You do what you think is right… but if you want some help on the… you know, other issue, I think the best one to talk to is Yumasaki, not me.” 

“Ah, Yumasaki.” Shizuo repeated in realization. “That’s right, he has a lot of books, doesn’t he?” 

“…yes… books…” Kadota painfully remembered that time when he had discovered that Erika, Yumasaki’s girlfriend and fourth member of their group, had scribbled down some… erotica, as she had kindly put it when he had hit her with it, between him and his gang rival Chikage. He could barely imagine the fest she would have had she been able to come across Shizuo and Izaya. She was a woman so it was prohibited for her to go to war with them when they got caught. She always had been a bit on the weird side, just like Yumasaki, but perhaps a slightly more perverted one, thus they put her into a monastery and tried to make a nun out of her. Kadota had never before in his whole life seen someone so excited with their punishment. Erika’s eyes were practically shining for some reason. The only hard part was that she had to part with Yumasaki and her beloved… books. “Anyway, I think those might be helpful…” He concluded. 

“I see thanks.” Shizuo curtly replied and turned away in a surprising speed. Kadota contemplated that he was way too young to have so many worries, especially when it was about two other people he knew and not about himself. He could honestly live without worrying about whether Shizuo would make a tremendous mistake or not. 

And Erika had thrown away that story about him and Chikage, hadn’t she? 

At the other side of the camp, Izaya was looking desperately for a way to drown his own humiliation by making other people suffer. It wasn’t like he was trying to escape from acknowledging any kind of feelings; he just needed to see people hurt more than he was. It would be the only way to lift his spirits, even a tiny bit. 

He had practically offered himself. Offered himself for real. Damn you, moronic beast. Damn you, ignorant fucker with the fucking barrel. Damn you, you monster who threw it out in the first place. Damn you, Shinra, for always playing all lovey-dovey with your nice, beautiful girlfriend. Damn you, fucking world! 

He was fuming on the inside, and that probably showed up his face a little, as his facial characteristics hardened while he kept walking. No one dared to pick on him or shout out or, as they used to, whisper nasty and lewd comments about him, quietly enough to not provoke Shizuo’s wrath if he ever heard but loudly enough for Izaya to hear as he walked by. He knew because all of his senses had switched on high alert mode. And it was probably a wise choice out of their part, because if he heard even one such comment, he’d bury his knife right between the eyebrows of the person who’d dare to talk. 

He knew what he was, but he wasn’t going to hear it from others. Not yet at least. 

His feet guided him out of the tent of the person he loved to bully the most; the doctor’s. He had to give it to them, only that thing; it was always fun to bully the weak. 

“H-ey, doctor!” He chimed, as he walked into. “Did you miss me? Are you looking for some company?”

He hadn’t seen Doctor Lynch for a long time, he realized. It wasn’t like he had forgotten about him; that doctor was a precious pawn in his overall plan, the plan he was itching to make a reality of since he first stepped into the camp. He had just figured that he should let the other breathe and give into despair by his own. 

He hadn’t expected, though, for things to turn so bad so quickly. 

As soon as he stepped in, the stench of blood and death hit his nostrils like a rip of bullets. He knew this smell, he knew it from the narrow alleys and the depths of the forests, where Shiki’s men were doing business. He had learned it even better when the ‘green monsters’ attacked, and he was living in it ever since. But it had been quite a time that he had seen it up that close. Maybe since Shazesh had died?

The doctor was sitting on a low stool, with his hands joined and his fingers tangled, shoulders crouching and a lowered down head, which he clearly did not have the strength to pull up. It just hung almost lifelessly, looking straight in the ground. He looked even paler and thinner than Izaya remembered, and his glasses were sliding off of his nose, dangerously ready to fall onto the ground. Now he almost had no hair left on his head. 

Right in front of him, on something that looked like a stretcher, there was the truly lifeless body of a woman in her twenties. Her blood had dyed whatever little clothing she had left, the entire stretcher and now it was dripping down, forming small pools around it. On her belly, a huge wound was gushing all of the blood. It was half stitched up, but it was clear that whoever had started the stitching, gave up in the middle of it, due to the pointlessness of the try. 

“This is bad…” Izaya commented, and his voice had lost most of his usual carefree tone. “What happened?”

“He stabbed her.”

Well, it seemed like the doctor still had his voice at least. It was hoarse, and deep, but it was coming out of him, even if he didn’t move an inch aside from using his lips.

Of course, there was no meaning in saying who did it. It never mattered. Before Izaya could ask further, Lynch continued: “He thought that she was pregnant… so he stabbed her.” 

“Ah, I see…” 

Pregnant… had it been so many months that they were starting to get pregnant now? Izaya had never seen or spoken to a woman in the camp, they were all chained inside tents. He could only hear them cry from time to time… He was probably the only ‘woman’ running around free. 

Then he had a thought; what if he got pregnant with Shizu-chan child?

The absurdity of the thought wasn’t even enough to stop the shiver running down his spine like an electric lightning, or to prevent him from picturing jamming a knife up his own throat. His whole being was rejecting the mere concept so violently, and combined with the insufferable stench of blood, he suddenly got a violent urge to vomit. 

He swallowed though, and sustained his composure. “I’ll just ask though…” He gave out a nervous laugh. “You… can’t make a man pregnant, can you?” They could capture pictures of the past. They could even replay scenes of the past. Which concept seemed more ridiculous, he didn’t know. But since they could do stuff like that… 

Lynch started laughing. A quiet, monotonous laugh, it almost seemed like he was laughing at something he reminisced. “No, we can’t do that.” He finally answered. 

“Well, I just thought I’d ask, since… you know.”

The doctor stopped laughing right away. It was like he had never laughed mere seconds ago. 

They stayed quiet for some time. Just when Izaya decided that he at least had to get the man remove the corpse from this closed up space, the other man talked: “Okay, so what do we do now?”

Izaya was startled. The other’s tone of voice sounded serious, composed and hollow. “I don’t know. Whatever might you mean by that?” 

“You know.” Lynch cut him out, and now he sounded severe. He finally lifted his gaze off the ground, to shoot Izaya not a hateful, but a furious and enraged look. Behind his gray eyes, something was burning violently. “You know. You always knew. You knew when he took you. You knew when you had them killed and made me your partner in crime.”

Lynch slowly got up and Izaya almost took a step behind as the other man neared him. “Hey, I wouldn’t go as far as to call it ‘partner in crime’, you’re using some quite heavy words there. In fact, I don’t remember committing a crime of any sorts. Some bad people planned to kill my protector, so…” 

“I don’t care.”

Lynch was now standing right in front of Izaya, and Izaya concluded that it was time to drop the act, at least for some part.

“I don’t care what means you use, you’re effective. You know things.” Lynch continued. “You knew very well what you were doing when you left me there, you left me with those words!” He spat the last word like he held real animosity towards him, but that was not the case and Izaya knew it. “Do you know how many people died in my hands since then? Do you know how many destroyed bodies I have seen, and could save none? I came here because I wanted to help my country! I believed that I would be able to save human lives! Yes, they kicked me here because I disobeyed them, because I didn’t save the one with the money, but I thought even then that it was alright, that I could still save people, but this is not what is happening, it get worse day by day by day!” 

The man was left there, breathless, panting and with eyes shining from his soul burning fever. Izaya’s eyes had narrowed, observing him carefully. Did he seem desperate and stupid enough? Maybe not stupid, but double desperate? People who didn’t have anything to lose were something to be feared of after all. 

“It won’t get any better.” He finally told him cruelly, watching his gray eyes hardening even more. “No matter what you do, no matter what I do, nothing will change. As long as this camp exists, as long as these monsters exist, they will continue to do this!” He said, and pointed at the dead and battered woman on the stretcher behind the doctor. “And the more time passes, more people will continue to fall victim to them.”

Lynch nodded like he was expecting to hear all of this. “Okay, so what needs to be done?” 

Izaya let out a small laugh. “I don’t see anything that can be done, except of course if you’re ready to blow this entire fiasco up the air!” He said dramatically.

“I am.”

Izaya froze. “What are you?”

“Ready to blow this up in the air. I imagined that you’d suggest something like that.” 

“Hold on a minute.” Izaya raised his hands up, like he was trying to stop something. Of course, the truth was that he wasn’t really trying to stop anything. “Doctor I think we need to be more realistic.”

“It can be done. I can do it!”

Izaya shot him a disbelieving look. “Really? You can? So what stopped you all this time?”

Lynch’s eyes were feverish, almost glowing. “I was expecting the green light from you.” He whispered. “I knew you’d come back. I know you can arrange everything!”

Now this was going too far. “I want no part in your delusions.” Izaya curtly said and turned like he was about to leave. 

“Fine. Go back to him. Go back to him, fall on your knees and take it in like a dog!” He almost shouted. When Izaya turned to face him, he had such anger and hatred showing, that he hadn’t showed in a long time to anyone else other than Shizuo. Lynch saw that he had elicited a reaction, so he kept going triumphantly: “What happened huh? Huh? Have you started liking it? Do you like getting fucked raw by Heiwajima and his insane strength? Do you like it when he rams inside?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Izaya warned him, his voice low and menacing. His hands had curled into fists. 

But now the other had gone delirious. “Hey, tell me, how does he take you? On the knees? On your back? On the side? How many times have you choked on his dick? You have never come to me to stitch you up so I guess he’s that good? Or do you just like the pain? You must, because otherwise who would enjoy fucking with Heiwajima.”

“Shut. Up.” Izaya usually didn’t give a second warning, but now he was trembling. What he hated the most about this was that he felt the absolute need to turn heel and go hide inside Shizuo’s arms. He wanted to stop hearing those things, he wanted Shizuo to assure him that everything was alright, he wanted to drink coffee next to him and the world just needed to shut down. 

“Or has he done what,” Lynch laughed as he kept saying horrible things. It was one of those situations when you know you’re going too far, you know you have to stop and yet your tongue keeps rolling, to see just how far you can take it. “Has he told you he loves you?” A croaked laughter erupted from his throat. “Has he told you that he will protect you? Lies, lies, lies, you will be sold for ten coins in the most ridiculous bet… oh wait; have you, already? Did you like that, as well? Do you love dicks so much that one is not enou-“

Izaya’s fist flew. Hanging around Shizuo too much must have been indeed a bad influence, but even if he wasn’t Shizuo himself, his patience had its limits. He didn’t even think about the knife. He knew that the man was asking to be punched, needed to be punched. He wasn’t the type to indulge in every poor man’s fantasies, but he did punch him, in the face, of course. And he put so much strength and rage behind it, that, just like with Shizuo’s punches, the man slightly flew before he fell down.

Blood started to gush out from Lynch’s mouth and nose. He let out a pained groan, as he covered his mouth with his hand, trying to discern if he had lost a couple of teeth or not. He had expected to be punched, but not with such force. And what he definitely hadn’t expected, was for Izaya to tower over him, and then to bring his foot down right at his sensitive region. 

He shrieked in pain and shock, but Izaya did not stop. He kept stomping down almost maniacally. “Waah, you caught me, doctor, don’t you see I. Love. Dicks. So. Much.” He said through gritted teeth and a sardonic grin, bringing his foot down with every word, as the man beneath him thrashed and wailed. “I love them so much I made a hobby out of stomping dicks, isn’t it amazing?” 

“S-stop!” Lynch croaked. “Stop, please, STOP!” 

“Wow, now you seem to understand me!” Izaya finally said, gave a last stomp and then took a step behind. He remembered very well how it was when the only words he knew were ‘please’, ‘stop’, ‘Shizuo’. “Wonderful!”

He stayed there, looking down at the man whimpering and trying to cover himself, in order to avoid any more possible pain. Izaya was barely restraining himself, those words had really struck a nerve. But no one could do that better than he could. No one could inflict as damage to someone as he could with a handful of words.

He kneeled down at one foot, right next to the doctor’s head. “Do you want to know why I’m opposed to your scheme, doctor? Because it’s not even a scheme, plus it sounds too good to be true. As for you, you talk big but you seem really incompetent to me… I wonder, could you really handle anything? You, the dead weight that came along just to watch people dying without being able to do anything of value? Are you saying I should place my faith about anything in you? Don’t make me laugh.”

“There are bombs. Bombs we didn’t have to use.” Lynch let out stiflingly. “I can do it. I can place bombs everywhere. It will take time, but I can do it! You just need to tell me, when, and where I can place them!” 

“Smart plan. Too bad this camp is always on the move.” 

For a moment, Lynch forgot even his pain. “…it can work if we start placing them right after we move.”

“I am not going to place a thing. If Shizu-chan finds out…” Izaya brought his thumb across his neck, clearly indicating that his head would fall. 

“I’ll do it! I’ll do it at first…” 

“Hm, you’ll do that, really.” Izaya stood up, and still looked down at the man sprawled on the ground through condescending eyes. “Do as you wish. I’m not going to help you or stop you…” He headed towards the tent’s exit. “But…” He slightly turned, and graced the fallen man with a smirk. “I will be keeping an eye on you. In the tiny case everything goes well, I wouldn’t mind lending you a hand. But you have to prove to me that you’re capable of accomplishing something, don’t you?” 

And with those words, he left. 

Things were about to get busy. Everything would soon become complicated and more interesting. There was very little hope the… plan, if he could call it that, would go well, but either way, it would be truly hilarious. Bombs… he had thought about it but it wasn’t that easy to get his hands on one…

Preparations, he had to make preparations. He wasn’t really willing to bet everything on a man as weak-hearted as Lynch, after all. Of course, there were ways this would work… 

Drowned in deep thoughts, he almost didn’t notice when his feet brought him in front of his own tent. His own… it was Shizu-chan’s tent. When had he started thinking of it as his own? It wasn’t even theirs, it was just Shizu-chan’s…

He walked in and came across a very rare sight indeed. Shizuo was sitting, squatting, with his hands full of papers as he was studying about something very intensely. It was very unusual to see him reading anything, with that intensity even, that he didn’t notice the other walking in. Izaya was bewildered. 

“Shizu-chan? What are you reading?”

Papers flew towards every direction as the blond man was so spooked by the sudden voice that he threw everything away, like he was doing something illegal and he was caught in the act. When he realized what he had done, he frantically reached everywhere around him to pick up the fallen papers. Somewhere in between, with a fully red face, he dared to look up at Izaya.

“…Nothing.”

Izaya just kept staring at him. 

“I SAID NOTHING SO SHUT YOUR MOUTH!” 

Izaya vaguely pondered that he hadn’t even opened his mouth, but instead of making a comment out of it, he just kneeled down and picked up a paper that had reached his feet. 

“AH! Give that back, don’t read that!” Shizuo shot his upper body towards Izaya, in a quite futile and half-hearted attempt to prevent him from reading it. The only result he got was looking at him mortified up from the ground as Izaya’s eyes were moving left and right. 

“Fortunately for you, Shizu-chan, I can’t quite read… though I think you ought to have taken notice of that fact already.” 

Shizuo snorted. “Yeah, like you couldn’t talk, right?” 

“I know the alphabet, I just don’t know how to pronounce the words, so every time I have to guess. And since you didn’t have the courtesy to teach me, I just learned what I could from Yumasaki’s books… But I stopped because I didn’t think that the content would be very helpful in translations.” He explained, as Shizuo slowly hid his face inside his palms. “I think I gave up when I started reading about Kadota fucking that guy with a… fe-do-ra… or something?” He tried to reminisce, but then he looked at the paper in his hands. “Ah, look, there it is!”

“There are just some things I can’t unread…” Shizuo lamented, with his face still in his hands. 

Izaya laughed. “That’s a surprise though, why are you reading gay po-“ He halted, as the realization dawned on him. “Oh…” 

They stayed silent for a couple of minutes. Izaya could see Shizuo’s ears dyed dark red, even though he could see his face. Had he blushed as well? He did not think so.

As usual, he was the first to break the silence. “So… should I take this as a sign that I need to take my clothes off now?” 

“No!” Shizuo snapped and finally detached his face from his palms, as he turn to look at the other man, ashamed, irritated and hopeless. 

Izaya shrugged, as he casually proceeded to come and sit right next to Shizuo as he used to. “Come on. You read this, did you at least pick up a couple of good moves or…” 

“I did not read it for that!” Shizuo fumed and almost slammed his fists down on the ground. It was a miracle how he was still able to look at Izaya in the eyes. “I read it because I need to know, how at least I won’t hurt you, because yesterday…” He finally looked away. “It doesn’t mean we’ll… or that you have to…” 

“Shizu-chan.” Izaya said, but Shizuo didn’t answer and he continued to look the other way. “Shizu-chan, you’re unbelievably cute, do you know that?” 

Shizuo turned around immediately. “Shut your fucking trap, what the fuck about me is cute?” He growled, as he brought his embarrassed and infuriated head dangerously close to Izaya’s, threatening him with an immediate head-butt. 

But Izaya didn’t seem the least bit fazed. “How you’re being so easily embarrassed. How you’re worrying about me. How you’re trying your best to be considerate of me.”

“I do none of these things!” Shizuo right out denied everything, grabbing Izaya from the collar of his robes. “I just want to have a clear conscience, and…” 

If he had anything else to say it was forgotten right then. Izaya’s lips were tantalizingly close and he stopped seeing everything else. He wanted to close the gap, but it was Izaya who did that for him, cupping with his right hand Shizuo’s left cheek and bringing him closer. 

He had initiated kisses other times before, but this one was the only one that truly felt genuine, Shizuo noted, as he felt the pressure upon his lips. When they parted, he looked at him in the eyes, calm now as he was. Izaya’s eyes still ringed danger to him, they always did, but now, he suspected that they seemed a bit softer, a bit clearer, a bit more pained. It could have been just the flow of the moment though. 

“Ah… all the bad things do go away…” Izaya murmured. “I wonder why that is…” He looked down. “Shizu-chan…” 

And Shizuo waited, until Izaya lifted his beautiful, sharp eyes up again.

“Make all the bad things go away?”


	20. Chapter 20

Izaya Orihara was a man of many flaws. He would always graciously admit them to himself though; he was the type that understood that the best way for someone to make use of any means that fell into his disposal, in order to keep emerging a winner in every possible circumstance, was to acquire full-fledged knowledge about them. And due to the first thing anyone had at their disposal being their own self, Izaya Orihara had always understood that knowing himself and analyzing him as thoroughly and objectively as it was possible, was the first step to any kind of victory. 

That was why he understood. He understood very well why he inspired such hatred and disgust in his beloved humans, and that was why he honestly considered it okay for them to believe so about him. After all, his love for humans was special; it was more like an overflowing morbid curiosity mixed with sincere interest over an abstract and complex philosophical concept: humanity. Humans themselves didn’t really matter when it came down to it, they just consisted an infinite amount of test subjects for someone – him – to be able to see just where were the limits of said concept. He often said that he wanted his love to be reciprocated but that was mere sophistry; after all, you can’t get loved by an idea, and he knew that also very well.

He had long ago distanced himself from actual people, and this was exactly why he could see many more things about them than they ever could about themselves. He had even lied to himself multiple times to be able to achieve that, and kept knowingly lying in order to maintain that fragile but necessary balance. By doing so, he had managed to stay true to his own desires and kept observing people as he always liked to do, giving them each time the necessary push and amusingly watching where they would go. No one had taken the right path, but wouldn’t have been interesting… he wondered though if it was his fault. But oh, who could surely say which the right and which the wrong path was? Eh, maybe the one where you don’t hurt yourself and everyone else you love was righter than the other…

That was why he knew. He knew that the way he acted would sooner or later come and bite him in the ass. He knew that everyone he came across would sooner or later hate him and wish bad things to happen to him. He had heard them many times in the past, he would hear them even more times in the future: The angry yelling, the curses, the insults… and more than anything, the strong desire to see him humiliated, weeping, beaten and thoroughly broken. There had been, many times, even before those green monsters appeared, people who had expressed a strong desire to violate him sexually. He knew that it was the combination of his arrogance, his confidence, his trickery and his prepped looks that resulted to such reactions, but it had never bothered him before. 

Before they had appeared.

Before HE had appeared. 

The distance had crumbled and the danger was imminent. He knew that there was some kind of trauma after everything he had seen and experienced so far well hidden inside his psyche, but he had done his best to cover it up so far. But the words he used to sneer at and which would usually bounce right off his cold exterior of self confidence, were now coming back and itching their way in, like they never really left. The more Shizuo’s hands embraced him and the more he caressed him and fondled him, the more painfully aware he was becoming that he would never be able to be truly intimate or perform any kinds of sexual acts without remembering those words… how degrading it would be to be taken like a bitch by another man, how exploitative, demeaning and downright awful. After all their previous tries, he finally understood that succumbing to Shizuo in any way, and for whatever reasons, spelled defeat from his part, and all he could hear in his head was just how much he deserved it. That he deserved getting fucked to the ground mercilessly. That he deserved to be treated like an animal. That he deserved…

“Izaya…”

The deep, beautiful voice brought him back. Izaya opened his eyes; he hadn’t realized that he had clenched them shut. He looked up at Shizuo’s beautiful face, into his beautiful eyes; his mind had long ago stopped trying to generate any other descriptions or interpretations about anything that consisted Shizuo. He was just beautiful. Every single thing about him was beautiful. How he hated him for that…

Shizuo just sighed. Izaya realized that he had frozen rigid, once again, for the millionth time, while trying to be intimate with Shizuo. He tried to remember what Shizuo was doing to him before; judging from the loose way his yukata was hanging down his shoulders, and his half undone belt which was allowing his right leg to show, he was probably caressing him and kissing his neck, trying to elicit a reaction perhaps, but he had gotten nothing once again. It was too bad that they hadn’t managed the day before, caught in the moment; now they were too level-headed for this… at least, Izaya was. 

He would reject him, as it seemed. Well, of course he would; who would like to be with such an unresponsive partner? It wasn’t like Izaya blamed him. They had tried before but this was pretty much endgame. He had asked him to make him forget all the bad things but he had asked for just too much. Instead, all the bad things had flooded his mind. Now there were no excuses left. Shizuo would either get mad, or tell him that he didn’t have to force himself if he didn’t want to. Either way, Izaya would ask for forgiveness and the farce would end once and for all. His mind didn’t want to go beyond that. 

Suddenly, he felt a tag at his right hand. Surprised, he realized that Shizuo had picked it up. Izaya needed to sit up a bit, because he had fallen on his back, with only his elbows supporting him, as Shizuo loomed over him. He hadn’t managed to open his mouth to ask what Shizuo was doing, when he saw Shizuo unbuttoning the first couple of his shirt’s buttons and guiding Izaya’s hand inside, so that his palm would fully touch the bare flesh. Shizuo’s skin was warm, and his heart underneath was beating fast but steady. Izaya looked up at him, with his mouth slightly open but still unable to say anything. He was only asking with his eyes. 

Shizuo’s face was slightly red, out of excitement or embarrassment or both, Izaya didn’t know. But no matter the reason, Shizuo still looked at Izaya in the eyes, as he spoke to him. “I don’t know much about this… in fact, I don’t think I know much about anything, but the way I see it, you seem to be under the wrong impression… or something.” He said, hesitantly.

“…eh? …what do you…” 

“This isn’t something…!” Shizuo started saying, but he halted. It seemed like he was struggling to find the best words. “This isn’t something that only one… it isn’t supposed to be only for one person’s delight or pleasure. It isn’t supposed to be only for one!” He said, and he was getting redder as he spoke. He lowered his head and looked down at Izaya’s hand, the one he was holding onto him. “Ever since you came here, everything you do… you think that you’re obligated to do things that only please me.” He clutched Izaya’s hand more tightly, but carefully enough as to not crush it. “But this is not something… this is for two people to enjoy! It’s not just for me, it’s for two, so… what I mean to say is…” He finally looked at the side. “That if you think that you belong to me… then I belong to you too!”

Izaya would have laughed in any other situation, but now it just seemed impossible. He wanted to say things like how cheesy that line sounded, how clichéd, he wanted to make fun of him but he was weirdly unable to. He was just too stunned about what he was hearing. 

So he just kept staring, as Shizuo started fretting. “It’s not that I mean that you’re my property or anything like that! I don’t mean I own you or anything, people don’t belong to people… no matter what everyone says, you’re not my property, you’re you and I’m me! What I want to say is…” It was so frustrating. This man was never good with words; he was clumsy and awkward, so why did he seem to say all the right ones? “What I mean to say is… touch me.” 

Izaya gaped. “W-What?” He curled his fingers on Shizuo’s skin, rubbing it slightly and then opened them once again, out of fear of leaving scratches onto him. “I-I cannot…” 

“You don’t want to touch me?” 

Beautiful. The golden hair he had glued his eyes on even during that insane first mayhem, though Shizuo would never know. The deep voice, either boiling with anger or offering soothing words, the one Izaya was always catching himself longing to hear, one way or the other, it didn’t matter, it didn’t matter at all, as long as it was focused on him and only him. The brown eyes that seemed like they held all the warmth the world had to offer. The soft mouth, Izaya knew that it was soft, usually twisted in a furious snarl, or grinning like a beast, drawing him into this man more than any of his human subjects was ever able to. Now it had settled into a small, apprehensive smile, and it sure as hell didn’t lose charm. And those lean and firm muscles underneath that ever so slightly sun-kissed skin… 

So beautiful.

How could he not want? 

“I’m yours. Touch me. Do anything you like to me.” 

Aah… Shizuo. 

Izaya knew for a fact that he wasn’t a good person. He liked toying with people too much to be considered one. Shizuo might have been a soldier, he might have been someone who had committed some rather heinous acts during the line of his duty, but even so, Izaya knew, he knew very well that this beast was a far kinder and better person than he would ever be. How else would anyone else have been able to tolerate him… with such a short fuse even? Touching Shizuo would seem like he would be defiling something no power in the world would ever allow him to even get close to. That alone should have been tempting enough to make him try, but he found out that day that he was more of a coward than he already thought. 

“I want to touch you…” He hesitantly said, and then looked up to meet Shizuo’s gaze. He felt the other’s heart rate speed up under his hand. 

Shizuo blushed even more. “Ah… that’s fine then, isn’t it?” He scratched the back of his head, like he was always doing when he was nervous. Izaya knew. “Well then…” He scratched even more. “…go on…” 

“I-I’m not worth-“

Izaya didn’t get to finish his sentence because Shizuo bumped his forehead onto his. He yelped from the sudden pain, because Shizuo had a head made of iron apparently, just like the rest of his body, but it was actually more due to surprise.

“Don’t speak of stupid things.” Shizuo said, and then placed a really tender but fiery kiss on Izaya’s forehead. “I want you to touch me.” He said, and then looked straight into Izaya’s eyes, and Izaya was able to see just how clouded his were. “I want to feel good with you…” 

Well if he wanted it that badly…

Izaya wouldn’t be responsible for what would happen next. 

His mind suddenly cleared and his usual smug expression made its appearance on his face once again. Shizuo barely had the time to frown at the development, as Izaya used both of his hands to push the blond man behind, reversing their positions and having Shizuo land on his back. He wasted no time straddling him, as he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and then proceeded to steadily unbutton it.

“Shizu-chan better take responsibility for this…” He almost sang as he worked on the shirt. It was almost unbelievable to him why he was so afraid just moments earlier. 

“Heh, you bastard, don’t you mean the reverse…” Shizuo was quite taken aback by the sudden change of attitude, but his devilish grin more than implied that he was happy enough for it. 

“But Shizu-chan told me I could, didn’t he?” Izaya purred, as he brought himself slightly forward. He doubted Shizuo would actually let him top, and that was honestly too bad; having finished with the shirt he tugged it open with one move, revealing Shizuo’s well-toned chest and torso in all of its glory. 

Shizuo was a man. Moreover, a man he had seen naked countless times. There was nothing new with the view, and still, revealing bare flesh at that moment made Izaya’s throat dry, his heartbeat and breath erratic, just at the thought at ravishing the body in front of him. The hard sensation that he felt prodding his backside as he straddled the other man, only served to intensify that feeling, as he squirmed teasingly on top of it. 

“Ah, fuck…” Shizuo groaned, closing his eyes and dropping his head behind. 

Izaya giggled. “Soon, Shizu-chan, but how do you say it? ‘Patience is the mother of all virtues’, wasn’t it?” 

Shizuo didn’t answer. Instead, he worked at regaining his concentration. “Hey.” He finally told, and reached a hand towards Izaya. “Come here.” He whispered, in a sweet tone Izaya had never heard before, as Shizuo cupped his right cheek. His eyes widened, and he let Shizuo guide him forward, until their noses were touching. “Let’s take it slow, okay?” He said, as he kindly kissed Izaya’s lips. 

When their lips parted, Izaya spent a couple more moments looking at Shizuo’s eyes before he smiled a bit and placed a finger onto Shizuo’s lips. “Okay. But Shizu-chan lies back. Lets me do all of the work for now. Okay?” 

“No complaints.” Shizuo smiled and shrugged. 

God damn it finally. 

Izaya didn’t even have the time to regret his thoughts or beat himself over the fact that he realized that he had waited way too long to get his hands on Shizuo; whatever that should mean. His malicious smirk almost reappeared, but he knew very well that if seen, it would earn him a punch and probably bring Shizuo back to his senses, so he dodged the bullet by hiding his face into Shizuo’s neck, just at the crook, where his carotid was. He gave the soft skin a few experimental feathery kisses at first, but then he finally run his tongue down the flesh, and wasted no time latching his lips onto it. 

Shizuo’s moans and groans and he started licking and sucking feverishly at the sensitive spot were pure music to his ears. Perhaps this would be easier than he thought, he contemplated as he moved downwards, spreading kisses anywhere he could, filling Shizuo’s chest until he reached his nipple.

He started viciously sucking on it and giving it slight bites, while he played with the other with his fingers. Smirking in between with the way Shizuo’s body was arching upwards, in an instinctive attempt to feel even more of him, even more of Izaya’s wet and warm lips, he have some more tentative bites as he decided to move even further down the other’s body. 

The abs were rock hard and Izaya just couldn’t get enough. The more he was touching and kissing Shizuo’s beautiful – and admittedly, delicious – body, he more he felt his own desires reach their peak, both figuratively and literally. The lower parts of his body had started growing extremely hot, and extremely hard; it was a shame, really, that Shizuo wouldn’t probably let him top, he thought as he delved his tongue into Shizuo’s belly button and heard his deep, sensual moan fill the place, imagining what he could have elicit by delving something else in another hole of the man under him. Would Shizuo let him if he asked the right way? It was possible, since he was so unpredictable, but there were two problems with that: One, Izaya had no clue as to which was the right or wrong way when it came down to Shizuo, and two, it didn’t fit his plans. He still needed to play the part of the object – of a trophy. Of someone to be protected. And he couldn’t do that if he was the one in control. 

Well, he did plan to give up some of his control, but only a little, he concluded, as he unfastened Shizuo’s belt and shoved down his pants along with his underwear, revealing his big, hard, raging erection. Shizuo’s size was so frustrating and for so many various reasons. No matter how much porn he read, Izaya sincerely doubted that he would find a way to fit this enormous thing into his backside… He vaguely remembered how terrified he was when he saw it for the first time, and then it was even flaccid. Now, those thoughts and that fear seemed utterly stupid. It was really hard for him to believe that there was a time when he thought that Shizuo would force himself on him… 

“Um… y-you okay?”

Startled, he looked up, to meet with a pair of half-lidded, yet worried brown eyes, red cheeks and disheveled hair; it was the first time he looked at Shizuo’s face after he started his ministrations. He had lost a big deal of cuteness, but he suddenly felt his entire chest burst with pure satisfaction. That man, that one capable of wiping out armies, lift rocks triple his size and tossing them to the sky, the one capable of killing someone with the same easiness someone else would crush a bug, that man, with the monstrous strength and the even more monstrous temper, was now a blushing mess into his hands. Izaya could practically hear his own dick grow even bigger at the sight. 

So he was just left staring at him and watching the blonde’s worried face grow even more uneasy, the longer it took for him to reply. With thoughts barely coherent by how turned on he was, he realized that he must have seemed weird; after all, he was so passionate just moments ago, only to stop at Shizuo’s dick and stare with a concerned look on his face. “Y-Yeah, I’m just fine Shizu-chan…” He said, and without allowing Shizuo to protest, he bent down and gave the hard shaft a rousing lick, from the bottom straight to the top of it, where he placed a light kiss. 

Shizuo hissed and whatever he had wanted to say died right at his throat. He threw his head back and bit his lips hard in order not to scream. He didn’t know if Izaya would have wanted to hear him, he probably would, but they weren’t inside a house and they weren’t alone. They were in a tent surrounded by other tents for five hundred more people, and if sometimes even the walls were not enough, the fabric of a tent sure as hell wouldn’t be. Thank God they weren’t transparent. He was a bit of embarrassed to be heard himself, sure, but he didn’t even want to even imagine what that would spell for Izaya later. 

He felt Izaya dragging the rest of his garments down his legs, and then settling between them. He propped himself up with his elbows, just in time to see Izaya’s head going down on him, his dick disappearing into the dark-haired man’s mouth. 

For a moment, he saw white. It had been so long, too long, since he did this, and the ecstasy of the feeling almost took him over; for a moment, he would admit that he even forgot Izaya’s existence. The only thing that mattered was the wet and hot cavern, welcoming his member and filling him with absolute pleasure. It took him a while to come down from his high. The fact that Izaya had wasted no time licking it and playing with it in his mouth, before he started bobbing his head up and down surely didn’t help him to break out the trance. 

Shizuo just surrendered, letting Izaya do as he pleased with him. He had seemed concerned at first; Shizuo was too. He knew that he was big, but the few women he had been with were always happy with that. But a vagina wasn’t the same as an asshole, and he had never before tried anal sex. Well, he knew the basics, but he wasn’t an expert at them, and that was why he had thrown away his dignity and asked for gay porn. At least he knew that if they did it as they had tried to the day before, he would have ripped him apart, and he just had to do anything in his power to prevent that. 

He didn’t know if it was because it had been so long since he had some, or because it was Izaya who was giving it, but Shizuo would swear that it was the best blowjob he had gotten so far. He did seem kind of inexperienced, compared to the women Shizuo had before, but maybe exactly because he was a man – and Izaya – he knew how to touch, when to touch, where to touch, at all the right places that would make Shizuo see stars. He loved occasionally taking a few breaks and licking it and playing with it before he continued sucking, making quite lewd noises, without ever removing his mouth since he took it in. He had tried to take in as much as he could, but he only got to the middle of it so he used his hand for the bottom half. 

Yes, it was undoubtedly the best blowjob Shizuo had ever had the pleasure to receive. 

He vaguely wondered if Izaya had done that before, for he was only a bit clumsy around it. He definitely hadn’t done it in the camp, but wouldn’t he have told Shizuo if he had someone special outside? Man or woman.

Probably not, this was Izaya he was talking about. But now he was with him, he was touching him, he was sucking his dick so what did anyone else matter. With thoughts like that storming his brain, he thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a surprised, choked noise from the object of his desires. Izaya looked up at him, not annoyed or angry, but actually surprised and maybe a bit worried. 

Alluring and rusty eyes clouded, with some tears prickling at the corners, cheeks burning red as they hollowed just a bit, and a mouth tightly around his member. Izaya had quite dexterously worked Shizuo gradually to his climax, but the mere sight of him was the catalyst to almost drive Shizuo over the edge. He would have leaked enough precum he was sure but Izaya had licked it all clean during their session. Now, the only thing he wanted to do in the entire world was to finish inside the other’s mouth, and have him swallow it all. Not only that, he wanted to grab his head and push it right up at the hilt, shoving his entire length down Izaya’s throat while he was at it. 

But his desire not to humiliate or hurt Izaya was far stronger than that. More so, those stupid robes were still clinging on him and it pissed him off. He wanted Izaya naked, all naked for him to see. He didn’t want to finish before that. So he sat up and put his hand on Izaya’s head, getting a soft but steady hold of it. 

He felt the other man freeze like a frightened animal; his guess was that Izaya was terrified at him actualizing his urge to push him forward and have him deep throat him. His guess was more or less assured when he chose to push him back instead of down, removing his length from his mouth, making Izaya’s entire body relax once again. But he did look up at him with even more worried eyes. 

“W-What?” He stuttered. Shizuo noticed that he had a little trouble talking, like his mouth was a bit numb. “I-I wasn’t doing it right…?” 

Heiwajima Shizuo wasn’t a man known exactly for self-restraint. While he had a talent discerning what was morally right or wrong without thinking much of it, restraint according to that discretion definitely wasn’t one of his strong points. 

So when he grabbed Izaya, turned and threw him on the ground, reversing their positions, and tore his robes away, it definitely wasn’t a sign of self-restraint. No, that was now long gone. He had exhausted that while concerning himself with Izaya’s issues before, now everything was wiped blank. The most he could do was barely registering not to actually tear Izaya’s clothes. 

“Oh God…” He just exclaimed, with a rasp and husky voice, as he looked down at Izaya’s naked body and his flustered face. His robes were all open, and he wasn’t wearing any underwear, only the sleeves still remained around his arms. “Oh God, please help me… You’re so… you’re so…! …Everything!” 

And Izaya Orihara wasn’t a guy that received compliments very often. Or at all. The most he would get would be a ‘you’re so handsome’, or ‘you’re such a nice, considerate person!’ of course before he screwed with them. But at the moment, it felt okay to never hear nice words ever again from anyone, for he had just received the ultimate compliment. Its charm would probably last for a lifetime. He knew that Shizuo had his own way with words and that he wasn’t as stupid as he often made him out to be, but the way, when the right time came, when he threw away all of the useless ones and used just the perfect one was beyond him. 

So he slightly smiled, and sat up and let the remains of his robes fall down his arms, leaving him now completely naked, as Shizuo was. He cupped Shizuo’s cheeks with both of his hands, as he leaned forward and rested his forehead on Shizuo’s. 

“Then Shizu-chan is my everything, too.” 

It was no wonder that he was abruptly and forcefully kissed, tongue delving into his mouth and dominating it, for just a few seconds and then he was tossed behind at lightning speed, as well. Or that he felt hands roughly spreading his legs apart, as Shizuo was positioning right between them. He didn’t blame him. He wanted him just as badly. He was no longer afraid. He had never done anal, and he couldn’t imagine how it was to be on the receiving end though. He was confused about his own desire, not sure if he wanted a dick up his ass, or how exactly it could feel. 

He just watched as Shizuo shoved some fingers into his own mouth, sucking and licking, lubricating them with his saliva. “It’s the closest thing we have…” He said, , almost apologetically, as he continued the display Izaya was more than enjoying. “I think it can do the trick…” And they didn’t have anything else to use. 

“Wow, Shizu-chan sure did his research.” Izaya giggled, as Shizuo frowned, a bit annoyed, a bit embarrassed. Izaya could read at his expression. It spelled: who do you think I did it for. “So I was right, doing my best to lick it as much as I could…” He purred lustily, and then brought his foot up, trying to rub Shizuo’s dick with it. “Look, it feels so wet against my feet…”

Shizuo wasted no time grabbing that foot by the ankle and lifting it up, treating himself to a full view of Izaya’s backside. “Yeah, they also said that the best way to do it would be from the back, with you on all fours…” He grinned sadistically. “But as tempting as that may sound, I want to see your face when you’re taking me inside!” 

“Eh? So, Shizu-chan, you’re going with the slutty option? Whatever happened to being slow or gentl- nnnnghh!” Izaya was cut off as one of Shizuo’s fingers suddenly slipped inside him. His muscles tightened around it instinctively. 

He couldn’t lie. It hurt like a bitch. 

Now he was starting to seriously get scared once again. It wasn’t like he was being a little bitch whenever he got a wound, but he wasn’t seeking pain either. And this was only one mere finger. Not Shizuo’s enormous thing.

This wouldn’t be easy. 

“I-It hurts.” He let out, as he gripped tightly at the sheets beneath him, and clenched his eyes shut. 

“Relax.” Shizuo said as he dropped the leg he was holding up his shoulder. Izaya gave him a rather irritated look, one that spelled easier said than done, but Shizuo continued. “Just try to feel it.” His words were calm and he looked like he knew what he was doing. “I’ll keep doing it until you’re comfortable with it, for as long as it takes. Just feel it.”

Shizuo’s words soothed him a bit so he let his head fall down and tried to concentrate. Slowly, the pain started subsiding. He had to admit that it wasn’t all that unpleasant. After some thrusts, he started seeking it.

“I-It’s not bad…” He uttered, and Shizuo immediately added another finger inside. Now that he had gotten used to the feeling, it wasn’t as bad as the first one. He felt Shizuo making scissoring movements with them, trying to relax the muscle. It honestly wasn’t bad. They way Shizuo was thrusting them and playing with his insides… Izaya never knew that playing with his ass would make him feel this way. He knew how it worked and why people did it, but experiencing it… 

Shizuo added a third finger and it had started to hurt a bit again. But now he was so turned on he even welcomed the hot sensation, as complimenting to this weird but pleasurable feeling he was getting. And when Shizuo curled them inwards and pushed, hitting something Izaya didn’t even know it existed there, he let out a really loud cry. 

He covered his mouth with his hands immediately afterwards, but the damage was done. Above him, Shizuo was grinning like a maniac. “How was it? Did I hit it? Come on, tell me, did I?” 

Izaya felt a whole new kind of fear at what was about to occur. He would lose his mind. He was definite about that. He didn’t even know what he had felt, how it was possible, what the electric shock that had run through him was and how the hell Shizuo knew how to do that. 

And then Shizuo pulled his fingers out. Izaya was left empty headed until he saw him spit more saliva inside his palm and pumping up his length. He just stayed there and kept looking at him wide eyed, until Shizuo finished, adjusted Izaya’s legs around him a bit better, and guided it towards Izaya’s hole. 

“N-No! NO!” Izaya propped himself up with his elbows and put a hand on Shizuo’s shoulder, stopping him just a hair’s length away from his ass. Shizuo looked up at him, only to see him shaking his head left and right, panicked. “No, no, no don’t do it, stop it, stop it!” Shizuo just kept staring at him, so he felt like he had to explain himself. “I’ll go mad! I’ll go mad, I’ll get crazy, so stop it, stop it, YAMERO!” He screamed the last word that meant stop in his native language, as Shizuo pushed into him, completely ignoring his pleas. 

For one thing, he had no longer the mind to do any kind of second-thinking translation in his mind. He kept mumbling words at his native language, that wouldn’t even register in his own mind, as Shizuo started slowly but steadily push into him. He was even thankful for the pain, because even if it was almost unbearable, it was a sensation he knew and he was familiar with. What he dreaded was what would come afterwards, and he knew it would. Shizuo was inside him, and that thought alone… 

“But I want to see you go mad.” He barely heard what Shizuo was saying. To his defense, the blond strong man was almost whispering it. “I want to see you go mad from the pleasure I will give you. I just want to make you feel that good.” And with that, he buried himself inside Izaya up to the hilt. 

They stayed there, trying to catch their breath for some moments. Shizuo leaned down, kissing Izaya’s cheek, his forehead, his mouth, his neck, trying to make him relax. Shizuo rarely felt pain but with the way Izaya’s muscles were tightening up around him, even he felt uncomfortable. He didn’t want to imagine what that would feel for Izaya. When he looked at him, he still looked panicked. Shizuo knew what he was afraid to lose. Control. 

“Izaya… it’s okay.” He whispered, inside the other’s ear. “It’s okay, so just feel me. It’s okay, stop thinking about anything.”

Izaya shook his head vehemently. “No… no, I can’t I’ll… I’ll die!” He barely put words together. 

“You won’t die.” Shizuo reassured him. “Does it hurt that much?” 

“I-It’s fine if it hurts…” 

Shizuo turned and looked at him in the eye. Izaya was ready to cry, but he held back. “No, it’s not fine.” He scolded him. “It’s not supposed to hurt.” He said, as he placed a small kiss upon Izaya’s lips. “Trust me. I’ll touch you properly.” 

He pulled back a bit, at the same time going a bit out of him, and he watched as Izaya bit his lips and clenched his eyes shut. It hurt, he was sure that it did, but they had done everything they could about that, now they just had to get past that. He slowly thrust back inside again, and then pulled out, this time more than the previous one. Then he thrust back in. 

There were no protests coming out of Izaya, so he took it as a sign that he was doing something right. Slowly but steadily he started to pick up the pace, each time pulling out more before he buried himself back in. Izaya was moaning and whimpering in his hands, but he never got too loud. Ah, that was right. He was fucking Izaya. He was fucking that man. That was what he was doing at that time. 

He grabbed Izaya’s wrists and pinned them down at each side of Izaya’s head, as he started fucking him for real. The muscles around him had relaxed but gripped him firmly and deliciously, as he picked up the pace and started seriously ramming into him. Izaya was letting out some small cries, but his struggle not to scream was more that apparent. When his teeth finally tore his lower lip, Shizuo delved down and kissed him, licking and drinking all the blood, muffling his screams more effectively. He knew that Izaya was thankful for that, until he angled himself differently and hit the spot he had hit before. 

Izaya screamed just the moment Shizuo’s mouth left his, so it was definitely heard around; but he honestly couldn’t bring himself to care at that point. He had reduced himself to the point he hated, meaning to the point where he had absolutely no control over himself and he couldn’t think of anything. He started screaming Shizuo’s name as he broke his wrists free and wrapped his arms around the blond man’s neck, his real name and not Izaya’s beloved nickname. 

As Shizuo continued to thrust inside him, hitting his spot, drowning him in pleasure he had never felt before, he could hear skin slapping against skin, smell Shizuo’s sweat, taste his own blood mixed with the taste of Shizuo’s dick, see a turned on and pleasured Shizuo burying his dick inside his ass, and more than anything, feel it. 

From anything else, feeling the big, burning rod rubbing and scrubbing through his insides, stabbing repeatedly that very special spot which sent waves of pleasure all throughout his body and spots on his vision, was more than enough to reduce him to that mess. Izaya had lost himself. He couldn’t remember who he was, he barely remembered who Shizuo was. Was that what people were supposed to feel when they had sex? Sure he had come undone too for some moments during his climax a couple of times before but this… 

He could feel Shizuo grow bigger inside him, and he also started feeling other hot things making their way into him. He looked up and Shizuo’s face was contorted, a sign that he would come at any given moment. He would come… 

He would come inside. In his ass. Another man would come inside his ass. Before Izaya could realize what that meant, and if everything else weren’t already enough, Shizuo grabbed Izaya’s dick, and started stroking him vehemently, as he rammed inside even more violently than before. 

Shizuo came first. Izaya followed the next moment, as soon as he felt all those hot stuff splashing inside him and hitting his inner walls. He came hard inside Shizuo’s hand, painting it all white and having it trickle down from his fingers. How loud was he screaming, he didn’t know, he couldn’t hear. All he could hear was Shizuo’s deep groans as he rode on his orgasm, giving him even more thrusts inside and releasing more of his sperm right into his ass. 

Completely violated and thoroughly fucked, Izaya welcomed Shizuo as he slid out of him and collapsed on top of him, breathing just as hardly as he was, locking arms around him like he would never let him go.


End file.
